


Aperture

by AllennellA



Series: Smile for the Camera [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety Attacks, Bisexual Character, Discussion of Abortion, Drama, Drug Dealing, F/F, F/M, Fashion Design, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Mental Illness, Minor Character Death, Panic Attacks, Paparazzi, Photography, Romantic Comedy, Social Anxiety, Unplanned Pregnancy, discussion of suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-02-10 23:11:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 110,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2043816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllennellA/pseuds/AllennellA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naruto is an amateur photographer and he caught the best photograph of his life of a black haired boy on vacation in Santa Barbara.  Determined to get another shot (or a billion) Naruto chases after the elusive captured model, who happens to be an aspiring fashion student still in college.  </p><p>Oh, and one more thing: no photos of Sasuke are allowed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ascent

**Author's Note:**

> This is something fun I'd been writing for a bit. In order to inspire myself to keep working on it, I figured I'd post it and get some feedback. It's not beta'd or anything, so my apologies for spelling mistakes and the like.
> 
> Warning: I don't have social anxiety, nor have I done any photography work. I also have only been to Santa Barbara once. My brief memories of the place shall be mixed with what I remember from living in San Diego. There will be many incorrect mistakes and terms and I shall probably describe panic and anxiety attacks completely wrong. I have done mild research, but that can't make up for legitimate knowledge. Thank you for your understanding.

"That one," his photography teacher pulled one print out of the pile, staring at it in wonder, "...have you considered that one for your final portfolio?"

Naruto glanced at the one she meant.

Oh, that one. 

It had been a religious experience. Naruto wanted to say it was like staring destiny in the face: The day had been perfect. Clouds littered the sky and behind him, the puffy white marshmallows were threatening rain, but the whole look to the day was perfect. The sunset had cast everything in muted pinks and oranges and the sun had sunk to a half circle on the horizon.

Naruto had been on his vacation to Santa Barbara then.

California was beautiful! And he had barely found a good spot, where it didn't scream SoCal but didn't look too faux either. The outlook showed a cliff, a couple houses dotting the crumbling drop-off with cream walls and rustic roofs, a couple cars only in the very distance obstructing an otherwise seamless shot at the rock face, and a person, standing at the very edge, gripping the railing.

He'd been far enough that he hadn't photographed too much of the mystery man, it had only captured his upper body, but close enough that he could make out the absolutely perfect features of the most handsome man Naruto had ever seen. Period.

A rounded nose, just the right mix of thin and snubbed for ultimate effects. A mouth that managed not to be full or thin or small or big or wide, just somehow a perfect balance, with a bottom lip that was begging to be worried between a lover's teeth, pulled into some expression that wasn't a frown but certainly would be a stretch to call a smile. A pair of weakly defined cheekbones, almost feminine bone structure, but well set. A set of soul stealing, heart wrenching, endless, beautiful, tired, very tired, downcast, plain, black, asian eyes. Black hair that framed the face and rebelled a bit in the back.

Naruto could barely remove his eyes from ogling the man's face to observe the rest of him. He was wearing a white short sleeved T-shirt with a black shirt underneath, waffle type fabric on the latter. His hands on the rail showed no nail polish but a ring, and a studded cuff. A set of dog tags hung around his neck.

The photo wasn't supposed to have a model. It was a landscape only photo-set he was aiming for.

The model hadn't noticed him and Naruto had just arrived and thought, 'Photo, now' and snapped that print without any prep at all. It was sheer luck his camera had the focus set just perfectly for it. Sheer luck and an extraordinary set of circumstances.

His photography teacher of course was going to see it. After all, Naruto had seen it when he went to get the negatives developed and his jaw had dropped so fast in the store that it had bruised purple.

It didn't just look professional. It looked photoshopped. Few photos could be so beautiful.

And what stole the show was the man.

Seriously, no self-respecting photography teacher would overlook that print, and Tsunade respected herself very much.

"Gods, who is that? I could cream myself looking at him," Sakura added unhelpfully, coming over from her seat two rows behind Naruto. She was in the photography for the hopes of being a wedding photographer, unlike Naruto, who had his heart set on joining the National Geographic photography team someday.

That or, like, playboy/girl, but he'd never mention that in front of Sakura.

"I was in SoCal! How should I know who it was? He was one in millions!" Naruto protested, fighting a loosing, uphill battle.

He wasn't one in millions. Naruto had never seen anyone more attractive before in his twenty-one years of life.

"It's criminal that you don't," Sakura informed him, "He's beyond beautiful. Also, you photographed him! Didn't you get permission?"

Naruto pouted, "He didn't say anything, and left like a completely unsocialized bastard! Eheh, no permission gotten. And here I had wanted to ask him if he wanted to get really familiar with my camera."

"A shame..." Sakura hung her head, "And I think you meant 'uncivilized'."

"Hush, you knew what I meant."

"That photo needs to be in your final portfolio, Naruto. It'd be a crime not to submit it," Tsunade advised, passing the print over to Sakura, of whom she was very found.

"It's my photo, alright? The best I've ever taken in my entire life, and we all know it," Naruto slid the rest of the neglected prints back into his print folder, leaving only the photo in hand, "I'll pick what I want to do with it."

"Stop posing, it's going in your portfolio the second you get that guy's permission," Sakura slapped his arm as he feigned to toss it into the garbage can.

"I don't have permission, so this photo is staying strictly private until I do," Naruto sighed, disappointed that he had to make do with less,

Tsunade gave him a look, "Then I suggest you find this boy. This shot makes most everything else in your portfolio look uninspired. If you want your dream job, then you have to impress us into giving you your degree. Your skills with a lens are without question and you know how to set up a good shot. But you found something in that second that makes every other shot you have look lacking. If you can find that feeling again, the one he inspired in you in this second, I can guarantee you'll have some more best shots of your lifetime."

Naruto looked at the photo. He did have another 5 months left before he graduated (if they passed his portfolio with flying colors) and headed out into the world with a shaky at best degree confirming how necessary it would be to work his butt off to get where he wanted to go.

"Oh no!" Sakura exclaimed, "What if he's a celebrity?"

Naruto and Tsunade looked at her, back to the print, and then back to her.

"I've never seen anyone this attractive on TV before. He would make models jealous. If he was a celebrity, girls and boys and genderfluids everywhere would be piles of their own sexual fluids," the oldest one in the bunch shook her blonde mane, tamed back into her usual pigtails.

Naruto gave her a look, "Ew."

"True," Sakura rubbed her forehead, "Imagine this thing walking around and god forbid, smiling and breathing on national television."

Naruto didn't have to imagine. The man walked like a normal person, but just brushing past Naruto had given him a breath of what smelled like burnt firewood and enough jerk-off material for years.

"Okay, but then this guy must be a hermit! How else could he manage to run around with a face like that and not, you know, become famous? He wouldn't need a talent, even, they'd just stalk his every move," the cotton candy haired girl pointed out, "Paris Hilton was famous for less."

Naruto relied to the other two how he'd called out, about to say his name and generally be polite and his normal friendly self, but the other hadn't given him the time of day. Naruto remembered how those eyes narrowed, a tiny bit, just as he lowered his camera, and how the man, shoulders squaring, left in what he couldn't exactly call a hurry, but certainly he hadn't lingered.

He'd stayed and did a couple more shots before realizing Mr. Perfect had left without having taken a car. He'd literally walked out of Naruto's life without a word, and the blonde had no idea how he could've stopped it.

"I want him," Naruto mourned as he packed up his things, needing to leave for his next class just too soon, "A couple billion photos of him in every place, position, and time of day imaginable."

Sakura looked at him, her bag already resting on her shoulder, a single strap purse like thing, "I think you found your muse, Naruto. Go after him! SoCal isn't too far away."

"What if he doesn't live there!" Naruto said, pulling on his hair, "I didn't even get a name!"

"Didn't you mention he left without a car? He probably lives there, you know that," Sakura held the door open for him on their way out.

Naruto beamed at her and let her walk him to his next class.

* * *

He had not imagined his first night free of the horrors and joys of college to involve so much beer.

Sakura was the only person he knew by more than just a name. A couple others, he knew by reputation, and the rest were anonymous graduates. Such was the way of the college party.

The beer was served in red plastic cups in order for extreme irony.

Avoiding a badly played game of beer pong, Naruto made his way towards the bathroom. If he got lucky, he could lock himself in and take a set of deep breaths until he calmed down enough to go back out.

He did not get lucky, as Shikamaru Nara (certified genius, degree in computer programming) was getting lucky with Temari Sabaku (sports scholarship, tennis, degree in psychology) in the bathtub, and conditioner was used for nefarious purposes.

Naruto backed out, shut the door, and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He unlocked it, and navigated to what he used as his last resort to deal with his people anxiety problems. The Photo, orange, blue, and pink, with his muse front and center, the same photo which hadn't made it into his portfolio due to submission guidelines, the best picture he'd ever taken in his life of a dark haired young man on the cliff side of Santa Barbara.

Just looking at him, the whole picture, let Naruto get his breathing under control.

He hated to admit he had people problems. He had spent his childhood isolated and hopped between foster families, finally settling down with the man who actually adopted him, Iruka Umino, when he was fourteen and honestly a terror. By that time he had already developed a deep distrust of people and didn't know how to deal with anyone. Iruka had taken him in, after a year as his assistant teacher

in English, where he noticed that Naruto was bright, but failing only because he could not communicate.

If he was honest, Iruka had saved his life when he taught Naruto a crash course in how to become friends with people and how to communicate his ideas. Sakura Haruno, his closest friend, had come purely out of their tutoring sessions, but besides those two, Naruto had always felt horribly nervous around people.

While going to college had opened his horizons, and forced him into accepting more people and losing the rest of that deep-seated distrust, Naruto had also discovered that crowds set off some sort of panic attack and that he couldn't deal with strangers for too long before he broke down and had to find either a familiar face or a place to be alone.

This party was making him sweat in a bad way, and he had to look at something familiar.

And his muse was very familiar and very useful in a crunch. Somehow in the half-a-year since he took that photo on vacation in SoCal, he had gained a friendly face in a man he didn't know the name of.  Hopefully to become an even more familiar and friendly face, he thought.

Sliding his phone back in his pocket, Naruto smiled at the group of girls who had been giggling at him. He didn't look bad himself, but he couldn't claim he was anything as handsome as his muse. A lot of girls liked blonde guys, and the hours he'd always put in at the gym since he had first hit puberty didn't exactly hurt (but Naruto's face wasn't anything special and he had a lot of scars from his gang days, so it all balanced out, and it didn't stop Naruto from second guessing himself, every time he was ).

One of the girls blew him a kiss, but both parties knew that smiles and blown kisses were all the action getting on that evening. Naruto turned his head, looking for the head of pink he knew would come to his rescue.

He found Sakura laying on a table, a row of jello-shots lined up on her tummy, surrounded by a hooting and excitable crowd of drunken college boys.

"Naruto!" She called, wiggling.

A challenger, about to be blindfolded, glared at him, and handed over the piece of fabric.

Naruto grinned and took the fabric from the man who had been about to chase slippery treats around on Sakura's exposed stomach, fighting his nervousness by playing confident, "You want me to try?"

"Besties first, then love interests," Sakura winked at the guy who'd surrendered the blindfold.

Naruto didn't think the guy was too bad. He had weird lips, skin on the side of too pale, but he wasn't bad, especially seeing how he dropped the macho posturing when Sakura had named Naruto as a best friend and somehow pulled off a torso bearing top. She could definitely do worse.

Naruto tied the blindfold on and went searching with his tongue for slimy bits of jello.

He accidentally licked the table, Sakura's bra, and a lamp, but he got all of them.

Having completed his task, he handed over the blindfold, and sat down by Sakura's head while another three jell-o shots were lined up on her stomach. While the guy went at it, Naruto teased her about insignificant things.

Once the first guy, named as Sai, had finished and Sakura had wiped herself off from the mess, she understood that Naruto needed a corner of quiet.

They ended up outside, sitting on the curb, illuminated only by the street lamp.

"After this, you're leaving, huh?" Sakura leaned her head onto his shoulder.

Naruto grinned at her, "I'll be close by! Seriously, Santa Barbara is only uh... Well, it took me six hours, but that's totally a lie, because of the speed limit and all makes it take forever! Also I totally was sight-seeing the whole way."

"You probably won't even see that guy ever again!" Sakura said, her tone just this side of bitter.

"I do know when to give up. I haven't even looked for him yet, and that's like giving up before starting!" The blonde chuckled, staring the curb and enjoying the smell and subtle chill of the night air. He couldn't see many stars, but for Sacramento and most cities, that was to be expected. It was nothing like being out in the middle of nowhere and staring up into the great expanse of sky and realizing how tiny one person can be.

"One photo and you're leaving home so soon," Sakura sighed against his collar bone, her fingers tracing patterns on his jeans and her eyes downcast so he couldn't see their sea green.

Naruto stroked her hair, "I swear I'll visit! Like, all the time. So often, you'll--punch me! Right in the family jewels too!"

"I'll kill you if you don't."

"I know," Naruto leaned his head against hers, blonde meeting dyed cotton candy pink.

"Isn't tomorrow too soon?" She picked at strings sticking out of her overly worn short shorts. She was determined not to look at him.

"No," he confessed, "If I don't leave now, I won't ever leave! I'll be stuck in a rut thinking maybe tomorrow-- or something."

"I love you, you know."

"Me too." He said honestly, "You're like, 50% of what makes me a good person! Remember how big of a shit I used to be?"

"Now you're just a little shit," Sakura teased, grinning and finally meeting his eyes.

He grinned right back at her, knowing finally, they were going to be okay.

* * *

The drive was long but Naruto didn't even notice. The scenery was beautiful and Santa Barbara was more so.

The apartment was tiny, which he didn't mind too much. It was all his, after all. It was damn expensive, and he knew it, but his dead parents' inheritance had to go somewhere. He didn't know what they were really like but they had been stacked and Naruto was willing to use that.

The worst part was the job hunting.

There wasn't much for him to apply for. Even diners somehow seemed below the belt now that he had a degree, but he still went for all of them, with no success. After all, starting his own business seemed even more impossible...

After a week of hopeless wandering he ended up at a place that took obnoxious vacation photos of tourists and sold them, and he took the worst shift they had: blindingly early in the morning.

Still, Naruto prided himself on how he hadn't given up yet.

If he was being reasonable, Jiraiya was a decent boss and even told Naruto not to bother bringing his own camera (which was an expensive, chunky, non-digital one to top it off) when it was likely to get ruined on the beach with all the sand. The old perv hadn't batted an eyelash when Naruto had confessed that he sometimes got social anxiety and needed a moment of breathing space to stop panicking when surrounded. And on top of that, hired him despite it.

Starting work at 4:30 was killing his everything, though. He was not a morning person, but he had to be ready to shoot sunrise tourist pictures by 5 exactly, even if that sun didn't look like it was coming up until 6.

He hadn't even caught a decent glimpse of his muse, either.

And then, one afternoon, a random of a miracle as finding $20 on the side of the road or getting the last ice cream bar out of the box, he did.

He had been walking back from work, right past the college campus (UC Santa Barbara), and there **he** was.

He was tripping over the sidewalk in all his collegial glory, features as smooth and well-set as the photo, hair a smidge neater, clothes a thick hoodie and a pair of cargo pants, a heavy backpack on his back and a particularly dark disposition. His lower lip was curled into a snarl and his eyes, even more tired than the last time Naruto had met them, were glaring at the sidewalk as if it had personally affronted him, insulted his honor, and spit on his face.

Naruto had stepped right in his path, his screaming feet demanding of him relief and the feeling of exhaustion be damned, and held out his hands to stop the man from leaving.

He needed his muse and just the sight of that face made his entire body relax, like a warm meal after an grueling day. Just seeing him was like art, even in such a terrible mood. The blonde wished he'd brought his camera.

"Hiya," Naruto managed, suffering under the dark glare but more under the suffocating knowledge of his muse's human existence, right in front of him, unexpected but brilliant, "I know this is gonna sound super weird but--"

"I don't have any money and I'm not interested," his muse countered.

Rudely sharp bastard, Naruto thought, but he was going to let most anything slide, seeing as it had been his brilliant idea to stop the angry college student on his way across campus, and he was in fact, wearing his work clothes, which sort of announced that he was going to try to sell something.

"I took a photo of you, like, half a year ago!" Naruto told him with a forced grin, hoping to clear up the situation quickly. Also to make sure his muse didn't actually think he was out to sell something to him.

That caught his muse's interest far, far too easily.

Black eyes snapped onto blue and Naruto's knees felt weak.

Arms crossing, the college student glared up at Naruto, "You," special emphasis on that for some reason, "took a photo of me? ...Where? When? Why?"

Not the normal reaction to that, Naruto knew, having hunted down quite a few people, and overly hostile at any cost.

Resisting the strong urge to either punch him repeatedly or insult him, his family, and possibly the honor of his family's nonexistent horse he would call a cow merely on principle, Naruto instead scratched the back of his head and pulled out his phone, found The Photo, and showed it to him.

"There was no flash," his muse noticed, then slapped his forehead, looking a little relieved and it smoothed out his features attractively, "Damn. Shit. Of course. I remember that. You were doing nature photography or some happy tree hugger hippy shit and I got in the way."

Naruto grinned weakly, trying not to get angry, which was still way too easy to do, "You remember that? Cool! Anyway, so I've sort of been looking for you since then!" Okay, announce that you're a stalker! Not his proudest moment... Rushing to fix his mistake, "Because I didn't get your permission to take it and I wanted to, ya know...? Everything was just right! The sunset, the ocean, everything!"  Especially you, Naruto left off.

His muse gave him a look (dark and bitter like straight expresso, but definitely something that would taste good a little sweeter), then, "I will accept that your intentions are innocent. I won't sue you, out of the sheer kindness of my heart. Destroy that photo and we'll be even."

Naruto's jaw dropped, "What?"

Destroy the photo? He **had** taken it without his muse's permission but wasn't that extreme? 

Also, suing? Extreme. 

Something wasn't adding up. Nobody was this dickish!

"Aren't you being, like, really hasty? The photo, it's really good!"

"You obviously don't know who I am, all the better, so the photo was an accident. I won't sue for that, so destroy the photo and pretend I don't exist, and I won't reconsider that suing thing," His muse side-stepped him, and walked right back out of his life.

Naruto watched him leave, numbed from bitter rejection, pocketing his phone again as an afterthought.

Dick, he thought, before thinking of that photo again. No, he wasn't ever going to destroy it. It was too perfect. No matter what his mulish muse wanted.

* * *

Now that he knew his muse was in college, he stopped by the campus and blended right in, very aware that he had been a college student only a two weeks ago and would definitely still look the part.

Summer classes were in session so the less crowded campus made it easy to find his muse, and also helped Naruto's people anxiety. He'd never manage to pull this off during the fall semester. He'd panic.

He got a good glimpse of dark hair running across campus on Monday overburdened with a mountainous pile of grey sweaters, a paint-covered muse with an easel and a smock tripping past the art building on Wednesday, and a view of him eating a teriyaki bowl for dinner on Saturday whilst sketching in his considerable sketchbook.

It was the next Monday that his muse confronted him.

"You. You're stalking me," his muse pointed out on that warm afternoon, sliding into a seat next to him at the student union building, where Naruto probably shouldn't even be, really.

"Call it something cool, man! Like, watching! Or maybe, like, ninja tracking arts! Anyway, whatever, it is what one does when they have found their artistic muse," Naruto pointed out, grinning at him.

He wasn't too gloomy today, and had a canvas in his hands.

Naruto never would've pegged him for an art student, but he had seen his muse running around campus with bundles of fabric, easels, and covered in paint, so he was quickly proven wrong.

"What the fuck. I'm not your muse. And don't even act like I'm suddenly your friend," his muse grunted, pencil flying in his hand.

The blonde grunted, "You're such a dick! ...What are you sketching?"

"Costume designs for Harry Potter."

Naruto leaned over, smiling, eyes scanning the fantastical swirls on a robe clearly meant for Dumbledore.

"Project?"

"Upcoming theatrical production." His muse bit his lip (it should be illegal to be so fucking sexy, any more and Naruto would be drooling like a plebeian if he hadn't had the smarts to look away), glancing up, "They think us fashion students are their fodder for success and that I have nothing better to all summer than cater to their play production needs."

"You're a fashion major?" Naruto almost hit himself. The fabric made much more sense now.

"Double major, top of the class, graduating with honors next spring if I don't mess up--and I won't."

"Smart and pretty," Naruto accidentally let slip, and he watched as his muse slowly looked up from his drawing to stare unabashedly at him.

Beautiful black eyes met his and Naruto was sure a couple essential brain functions shut down.

"You're flirting with me," he said, belatedly.

"And?" Naruto grinned cheekily, leaning a little closer. (One of those brain functions was clearly common sense.)

"Just because I'm a fashion student doesn't mean I'm gay," his muse snorted, turning his head away. The pencil resumed its sketching.

Naruto frowned, "First it's no photos then no flirting! Soon talking is gonna be off limits too. What, can the lowly peons do nothing in your grand presence?"

"You can flirt, it just won't get you anywhere. I don't hook up," his muse flashed him a flitting glimpse of those dark eyes and Naruto could've sworn he saw the hint of a tongue between white teeth. Naruto was definitely hard under the table.

"Okay Kelly Clarkson, I get the message," the blonde slumped over on the table, watching the pencil hypnotically. (Anything was better than coming in his pants.)

"Sasuke," his muse said suddenly.

"Hm?"

Black hair fell forward from the ear it had been tucked behind, "My name, it's Sasuke. If you're going to be persistent, we might as well know each other's names. If I thought you were worth it, I'd give you my number too, but a week of stalking doesn't quite cut it. I'm not that easy."

"I'm Naruto," he answered, grin spreading to take over his face, too excited to be offended, "I'm a UC Sacramento graduate. No honors really, average GPA, but I've got my degree and no complaints."

"A graduate?" His muse, Sasuke, glanced up at him, "Why are you spending all your time here, then? Even someone like you should have something better to do."

"I'm going to ignore you and be the better person here," Naruto slumped, "My job shift goes from 4:30 to 10:30 in the mornings, every morning. I pass out at like, 7 pm, like clockwork. No late night parties here."

"Minimum wage too, I bet," Sasuke smirked at him.

"Not much better. It's ten bucks an hour, just about. It pays my rent, not much else." Naruto moaned, looking up at Sasuke, who, judging by the wince, was having sympathy pains with him.

"Advertise for a roommate," his muse advised, "Split rent."

"There's only one bedroom."

Really, Naruto had been scared to live with someone else, even if his anxiety and social issues had faded over his college years, and now he worked with gazillions of people around him fairly normally. (It didn't hurt that none of them lingered. Prolonged exposure would probably kill him.)

"You live near the college, there will be an overflow of people wanting anything they can get for cheap," his muse seemed to speak from experience. (What were Sasuke's living conditions that he had such a rancid tone?)

He didn't actually, live all too close to the college, but Sasuke had a point. His parents' inheritance was large, not bottomless. A roommate was a good idea.

Sasuke checked his watch, a clunky plastic thing from the 90's, it looked like, and the grabbed his things, "I have class soon. See you around, stalker."

"I have a name, bastard," Naruto grumbled to himself.

* * *

Sure enough, the roommate thing paid off. Put an ad up on the local coffee shop's board for a roommate willing to pay 550$ a month in rent, live in a cramped space, and deal with him, and a week later a possible candidate shows up.

Kiba Inuzuka looked to be the average college student, but just by how he demanded a fist bump and not a handshake allowed Naruto to get how cool this guy was. The tattoos underneath his eyes and the huge "puppy" waiting in his car screamed trouble, but Naruto could barely believe how easily he got along with the brunette.

His social anxiety rarely acted up.

A previous frat boy, Kiba had left his fraternity when he got into a row with the president over his puppy that his family flat-out refused to keep another year. Naruto knew that Kiba would have to pay a non-refundable pet fee to keep Akamaru, but Naruto loved dogs and didn't mind sharing his space with a furry friend as well. This, Kiba appreciated greatly.

The pair settled into Naruto's tight space easily, and the blonde had made a new friend.

Sure, on top of Sasuke and his work, they never really did more than play a couple rounds of whatever first person shooter game they had where the disk wasn't scratched. There had been an awkward time or two where Kiba had almost caught him at UCSB trolling after Sasuke. Sometimes they caught a bite to eat together for dinner. Naruto took Akamaru out for walks occasionally because the puppy was adorable and shit if he left that poor thing inside all day.

It had been a nice two weeks.

Kiba once asked why Naruto got back so late in the day if his shift got off at 10:30 AM, and Naruto had no real excuse, so.

"Oh! I haven't told you, but I think it'd make me seem creepy. I'm kind of stalking this guy until he agrees to submit to me," Naruto paused for greater emphasis, "and my camera. Perhaps for the rest of his life."

Kiba raised an eyebrow.

Naruto pulled out The Photo.

Kiba understood.


	2. Burst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that this chapter is disappointing. I already know. All I can write is soap operas. However this chapter has been written for ages, and I can't see a way to fix it without changing the rest of the story, so soap opera chapter you get. My apologies. This update was quick, because I actually got some writing done, but it's also because I figure there's no point in waiting to give you it when waiting will only raise expectations of quality.

Sasuke did not appreciate the stalking as he made clear by stomping by without so much as a glance back or a return wave. Still, Naruto was all for a challenge.

And, also, examining Sasuke on his home turf.

A lot of comedy and fiction functioned on the forcing of people into new and uncomfortable situations. And Naruto supposed, all things considered, he was doing exactly that by observing Sasuke in the first place. But the college student had never protested. And perhaps, Naruto could've sworn, Sasuke had smiled at him once.

_(His heart had stopped. And then restarted with a fury. That far off maybe smile made his blood throb and his head spin, and the memory of it wasn't enough. Naruto had to have it on camera.)_

So really, he liked seeing Sasuke on his home turf, not only because it made the young man even more beautiful and unobtainable than before, but because he could learn new things about Sasuke. While everything Naruto wanted from him was purely aesthetic, it would be an upward battle to have the dark haired man agree to him. This could uncover the footholds he needed to win, and a few close observations allowed Naruto to really consider some more things he hadn't thought of.

Clothing was Sasuke's forté. A fashion student like him knew everything about the ins and outs of the cut, where to taper, the hem, the print, but Naruto had taken a psychology class once with this bizarre professor and once they did a project based on what a person's clothing conveyed.

Color was a biggie. Yellow was the color of self-esteem, truth, prosperity. Orange, Naruto's favorite, was opportunities, the ability to overcome challenges, happiness, to remove feelings of abandonment.

And so forth.

Sasuke wore a lot of blues, purples, whites, and blacks.

While black was a color usually for chaos, negative feelings, it also meant inward self inspection, protecting oneself. And white, while it usually meant purity and good will, it could also mean freedom. Blue was much the same, the meaning of wisdom and fidelity overshadowed by the meaning of wounded pride, for healing. Purple was justice, forgiveness, peace, serenity.

Those were just colors though. Fabrics, styles, fits, those all mattered.

Like that big black cardigan obviously meant for women--the size of the item meant it was for hiding, and in it, Sasuke did hide. The high collared shirts showed that Sasuke was afraid of being seen as submissive, afraid of bearing his neck around others. The loose cargo pants, a strange splash of grey in his wardrobe, allowing for quick movement, for fight or flight.

Suddenly, perfection was not so.

Naruto still wanted him in his studio. Preferably soon. Aesthetically he was perfect. But to know underneath all that, he was human-- Naruto's stomach was yanked out from under him. He fell. Hard.

It was to Sakura that he confessed this, in their biweekly phone call.

"You are stupid."

Naruto knew this fact already. He moaned, "It's been two weeks and I want him worse than a horny teenager wants sex. I want him to be _happy_ and I want to do things stupid like just hold his hand for hours!"

"Do you perhaps want to go on a lot of dates with him?"

"Yes."

"Kiss him in the rain?"

"Then dance around in puddles together? Share an umbrella? I have fantasies about it! Stop teasing me!" Naruto wasn't sure if he could blush any worse.

"How about make him dinner?"

"I'd probably burn it, Sakura."

"Feed each other popcorn at the movies and nibble at his ear during the boring parts?"

"Yes..." Naruto slumped his head into his arms.

"Buy him an engagement ring and get a house with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids and a dog?"

Naruto blushed even harder, if it was possible, and he knew Kiba was snickering at him from the couch.

"Sakura!" He scolded her, "You are a horrible person. I barely know him. He's totally attractive and into art but I don't know enough about him to marry him! I want to date him first!"

"I think he's made of sex. I also think that if it bothers you that you don't know him all that well, just ask him out and get to know him! It's worked great for me in the past."

Naruto whined, "I got hard and almost came in my pants just talking to him."

"Then cure it by spending enough time with him that you don't orgasm at the sight of him."

"It's bad because he wears all those layers and baggy clothes. Like, if I see some wrist I'll fucking lose it and cry indecent exposure. They should make him wear a bag over his face!"

"Naruto! Seriously? Maybe it's been too long since you've had sex."

"Is three years too long?"

"Fuck, three _years_? I'd've hooked you up if I'd known! I failed you as a friend. Who was...?"

"Hinata," Naruto rubbed his forehead to get rid of the headache his ex-girlfriend brought on.

He had this bad habit of falling too hard. He'd known her during high school, and she had thought he was some sort of bad boy. When he finally tried to get out of his shell, and started talking more and proving he very much was not a bad person, she admitted to having been crushing on him for forever. Even when she found out about the social anxiety, things had been going better than great. Naruto had thought they'd get married.

Then her super crazy traditional Chinese family told her of her arranged marriage to a wealthy super crazy traditional Chinese man's son in order to further business partnerships between the two companies run by the families, and that pretty much ended that.

Naruto had not had it easy to pick up the pieces of his shattered heart. Worst of all, Hinata had known of the arranged marriage was probably going to happen before they even got together. Naruto didn't blame her but, she had had years to remind herself it was only a cute relationship never going to go anywhere. She was fully resigned to serving her family properly, and didn't even look back.

He sent her e-mails sometimes. They were still friends.

" ** _HINATA?!_** That's it! You are going to walk into a bar **tonight** and walk out with someone willing to ride your dick all night long, so help me God!"

He groaned, "Sakura. I'm too socially fucked up to pick up people at a bar."

Let alone he couldn't even stay up long enough to do any of what Sakura so shamelessly demanded.

"Bring your roommate as a wingman then."

Naruto glanced at Kiba, who was sniffing the crotch of an old pair of jeans to see if they could pass that week's laundry mat run.

"It can't hurt," he sighed, "but don't expect anything."

They chatted a little more, before Naruto realized if he wanted some sleep that night before his job, he wouldn't have much time for clubbing left, and had to hang up.

Scooching over to his roommate, who'd gotten through most of his dirty clothes and decided entirely with his nose their probable condition, the blonde put on what he hoped was a friendly but vaguely pleading face.

"Kibbles," Naruto poked at his roommate's tattooed cheeks.

"Yes, manbitch?" Kiba swatted at the offending finger.

"Be my wingman? My bestie Sakura says I have to go try and get laid, and I need someone to corral all the good ones to me."

Kiba sniffed and looked as if he was considering the matter deeply.

Naruto knew if Kiba said no, there was no way he wouldn't just forgo the clubbing altogether. Despite feeling like he didn't have any hang-ups for having a sex drive, it made Naruto deeply uncomfortable if he indulged in it. He could not just hook up with guys or girls--he was always constantly afraid they would misunderstand him. Really, if he was going to have casual sex, his partner(s) had to approach him. He wasn't expecting to get laid tonight, despite the fact Sakura was right and it probably would make his life better.

Sighing, Kiba shrugged and stood up, "What can I say? I'm a giver. Wait, you after dudes or chicks?"

"I'm bisexual, Kibbles," Naruto reminded him, face returning to its natural (not that it had always been, he'd trained it into the habit) grin, "Either is fine."

Kiba snorted, a smirk working its way onto his face.

* * *

They ended up at a club known for its reputation as a college hotspot. Nothing like young collegian boys and girls grinding up on one another like tomorrow the world will end and they'll all be as dead as disco. Naruto didn't even have any clothes that would fit the occasion, so he admitted he looked a bit silly in Kiba's leather jacket with the faux trim collar. His regular jeans and a t-shirt satisfied the rest of the wardrobe, so it was Kiba who was the one all pruned up to party, having pulled out a nice pair of leather pants ("From the good ol' high school days," Kiba had said fondly) and a v-neck shirt that made his roommate look inviting to even Naruto, who'd caught him sniffing pants' crotches just half an hour earlier.

In fact, he'd be playing Kiba's wingman if things all went as they usually did when Naruto was in a club. He'd go into a friendly only zone and no man or woman had any chance of getting in his pants.

"See that one, in the back? Blondie with the big titties?" Kiba pointed out, letting Naruto's eyes drift down his finger and across the dance floor to the girl in mention, "I want me some of that."

Naruto grinned, well aware that this would be how it went, "Go get her, Kibbles."

Kiba wandered off to the land of big titties and a blonde that looked to have forgone any dye job, with a midriff bearing purple piece of work that looked almost pornographic hippy gone wild. Naruto wasn't morning the loss too much. As long as he knew where to find Kiba at any time, then he would be fine. No social anxiety here. Hopefully...

Looking around, he saw a lot of faces. No one jumped out at him like he'd thought. Really, Naruto wanted his camera. He felt the life and the youth and the stupid mistakes and could literally taste the underage drinking on his tongue and scorching his nose. He knew unless his camera could suddenly turn invisible that this was just one sight that could never truly be captured. That was a problem for Naruto. People became fake in front of a camera. They got nervous. They acted, and few people were good actors.

With that regret in mind, Naruto walked over to a pair of guys and a girl who were just chatting instead of grinding and he painted a too bright smile on his cheeks and introduced himself, determining that if he stayed where he was he'd only feel awkward and isolated quicker than if he actually tried talking to someone, and he didn't want to have a panic attack because he couldn't handle himself without his roommate next to him.

They allowed him in their little group easily.

There were two guys, one looking much older and taller than the other, his bright orange hair looking quite fake and quite badly dyed. They introduced themselves as Juugo and Suigetsu.

The girl had blindingly red hair, and she introduced herself as Karin. She had a look about her that Naruto awkwardly recognized as like his mom in the old photos he had of her. So, any thoughts of hitting on her went away immediately.

He turned his thoughts to the boys. Juugo looked way too old for him, like late twenties to early thirties, but older didn't always mean less available or less fun, so Naruto hadn't scratched off that option yet. Suigetsu was good looking, purple contacts and bleached white hair and all. Neither of them looked like Sasuke, which was good, because they felt like people he could actually touch. He was irrationally afraid Sasuke would just spontaneously implode if someone touched him, because he was too good not to be a dream.

He tugged at the leather jacket, trying to make himself comfortable, and somehow this must've pulled his face into a familiar position because outburst "Oh!"'s sounded out of his new companions.

"I've seen you around campus!" Suigetsu realized with a loud start, pointing, "You're that guy who everyone thinks is waiting around campus for his girlfriend or something!"

"No one ever sees a girl though, so there's all sorts of rumors on who it could be! Like, the votes out on it being Ino Yamanaka, but then again people think she could be your sister too!" Karin pushed up her glasses, puffing her chest out in pride.

"Even I've seen you around," Juugo added, seemingly distracted.

Naruto scratched the back of his head, "I'm just a photographer. I like people watching, I'm not waiting for anyone."

I'm Sasuke-watching.

"Really? That's so cool!" Karin batted her eyelashes, "Would you want to do some nudes, just me and you?"

Suigetsu laughed so hard he snorted beer out of his nostrils. Juugo pounded him on the back a bit.

Naruto swore his face was overloading with red, "Uh, I haven't really... ever, um, done nudes? I'd be really bad at it, so, uh, unless you want to let me do a few really shitty practice shoots, um..."

Karin's smile grew evil, "Oh, I wouldn't mind. Don't get me wrong, though. I'm going to be a tattoo artist, and I'm only going to college to learn some good sketching styles and the like. If you were going to photograph me, I'd be in it to display my tats."

She pulled up her shirt, revealing an intricate pattern of swirls on the skin just above her hipbone. Although the black was pretty distracting, up close Naruto could see hidden bite mark scars in her designs.

"Gorgeous," he let slip, tracing the pattern with his thumb.

"Sexy, huh?" Suigetsu grinned, showing off his many white teeth in a fashion that Naruto could describe easily as predatory, "Karin has a bunch of really cool tattoos and she likes to show them all off, even the inappropriately placed ones."

"Hush, betrayer! I have it, why not flaunt it? Not like you would know anything about art!" Karin snorted.

Naruto met Suigetsu's eyes, "So what do you study, then?"

"Marine biology," the white-blonde admitted, as if this was to be embarrassed by. Naruto personally thought it was kind of cool.

Juugo stepped into the conversation unexpectedly when he said, "Zoology, before you ask."

Naruto clapped, "Hey, that's really cool! Are you gonna be a zookeeper then?"

Juugo nodded, and didn't say much more.

"That's seriously cool. You guys didn't meet in similar classes, then?"

"Well, we're all friends through a mutual... friend. Seriously, I wouldn't hang out with losers like these if not for him!" Karin replies haughtily.

Suigetsu put the redhead in a headlock, grinding his fist into her scalp, taunting, "Who's the loser now, huh?"

The blonde continued to talk with the three of them for the next half hour, before he had to dig into his pocket for his phone and find The Photo. Who knew where Kiba had gone off to? The blonde with the chest was gone too, so Naruto just assumed that he'd gotten his catch.

The Photo helped him even out his breathing, just like it always did, but there was a new air to it. For once, Naruto could remember the person, and The Photo was barely enough.

Still, he had to focus on it and get back to his comfort zone.

The three were watching him a bit closely, like birds of prey, and Suigetsu, who was closest to him, obviously caught sight of The Photo over his shoulder, judging by his shocked expression.

Grabbing Naruto's shoulder, he careened Naruto away from the other two, giving him a scary sort of look.

"No offense, dude," Suigetsu whispered, satisfied with pulling him away from Karin and Juugo for a second, "Why do you have a photo of my roommate? I thought, like, he'd have given you the 'photograph me and die' speech! Secondly, how do you know Sasuke? Are you like old friends or some such?"

Naruto's head shot up, no longer trying not to make eye contact, his fear of Suigetsu being a homophobe or something fading to nil, "Sasuke's your roommate? Holy shit, small town."

"So you do know him!"

"Nah, I don't really know him. He did tell me the speech, though. He threatened to sue if I didn't delete The Photo."

"He will too, him and his brother are like, no photos at all of them are allowed," Suigetsu laughed, "He must have a thing for blondes if he let a stranger get one in!"

"Does he?" Naruto wondered, blood rushing all the wrong places at precisely the wrong time.

"I'm nearly 100% sure that he's like, a robot. He's a virgin and he's 20. That screams robot to me," the other boy tutted.

"40 Year Old Virgin is a movie because people like that exist, you know," Naruto's head was spinning. Sasuke could make him almost cum in his pants by chewing his lip and Sasuke, somehow, miraculously, horrendously, managed to be a virgin? ...Maybe he was so beautiful that all the plebeians in the world couldn't turn him on.

Naruto shook those thoughts out of his head.

"You want him, don't you? Join the long, long line. You're probably in the back with Karin, somewhere." Suigetsu shook his head.

"I'll do nudes with her if she really wants," Naruto smiled, "I can't guarantee quality though."

"I'll tell her," Suigetsu laughed, "So if you took that photo, you really are professional, then!"

"Something like that," The darker blonde caught sight of Kiba reemerging from the girl's bathroom, where he'd presumably gotten his rocks off, so Naruto knew it was time to go, "Hey, I've got work early in the morning. Give me your number?"

"Sure, (805) 925-7386. We'll hang out and I can rat out all of Sasuke's dirty secrets to you," Suigetsu winked, "Not like he has many, but it's the thought that counts."

Naruto grinned.

* * *

Karin hadn't been joking about the nudes, it seemed, as Suigetsu had arranged a session between the two of them for right after lunch, while it was still nice outside.

It meant no Sasuke-stalking that afternoon, but Naruto was actually excited. Trying something new was always fun! Also Karin had seemed like a fun person to hang out with. Naruto did need a stronger support system in Santa Barbara. In Sacramento, he only just had started getting to know people and he knew the best solution was to get out there and get over his social anxiety issues by getting to know new people, no matter how uncomfortable he got. Even if it meant taking an afternoon to photographing a girl who looked like his deceased mother naked.

Kiba thought it was the best thing to ever happen.

"Hot nude chick in our apartment and you're not hard at the thought of maneuvering her into sexy positions and then snapping shots of it?" Kiba tutted at him. Kiba seemed to think any second he spent not hitting on girls was a minute wasted, so Naruto didn't listen to him.

Instead, he pulled out a photograph of his mom, and showed his roommate in hopes he would understand.

"Wow, is your mom a milf or fucking what?" Kiba teased, but something in his eyes told Naruto he had gotten the message.

"Kibbles, I swear if you don't get out of the apartment straight away when she shows up, I'm cutting your balls off," Naruto warned him.

"Understood," Kiba said, but it didn't stop him from pouting at the unfairness of life.

The evening before, Naruto pulled out his white and black backdrop screens and turned up the heat. He'd never done nudes, but something was to be said for a BA in Photography.

Remembering the striking red and the inky black of the girl from the club, Naruto set up the white screens in a corner where the natural light from the windows would be the primary light source. The big spotlights that the photography class in Sacramento had used for portraits were expensive, and Naruto was lucky to have his two backdrop screens at all.

Anyway, Karin would be most striking with the natural lighting from the Santa Barbara sun setting her in shades of yellow against a white backdrop. Sure, he could try black, but he didn't want her skin to be the positive space in the photos, and a black backdrop might set her in a too sharp contrast. He had his black backdrop ready because he couldn't only use one backdrop, but Naruto was positive that Karin's tattoos, her pride and joy, should be the positive space, and so the rest of her should be faded in an effort to make the tattoos stand out.

However, who knew how it would turn out? Naruto hadn't ever experimented with this sort of thing before. Really, he'd mostly done landscapes, and then even when he did people, he did them with landscapes in the background. His backdrop screens had been gifts from Sakura, who had been running low on money that year and had apologized for the used gifts, which really were quite expensive when bought new, so Naruto never complained.

His makeshift studio built, he retired for the evening.

The next day seemed to go all too fast while Naruto was desperately slamming the brakes and trying to get off the crazy train. Too much to do and not enough time to do it all.

Karin showed up ten minutes early and took to teasing Kiba in a more than friendly manner while Naruto ran to get home from work that had taken longer than it should've.

A group of demon children who took half an hour to sit still and a coworker who hadn't shown up on time for his shift with a long line of customers awaiting, it all pointed to Naruto's staying extra late. He could've left earlier and said "Screw this," but he just knew his coworker, a sleazy bastard named Kakashi who had apparently only worked there because he'd been conned into it by Boss Jiraiya and was notorious for being late as hell, was going to spin it as all Naruto's fault somehow. Again.

So long story short, he'd been late and mortified to see Karin draped over Kiba's lap, letting him run his hand up her leg and use cheap pick up lines at her, having completely ignored his orders to get out at the first sight of her.

"Sorry, um, I can go and--" make googly eyes at Sasuke, "--let you guys alone or something?" Naruto shut his brain down, watching something too indecent for innocent eyes.

Karin jumped right up and at him, a snapping sound as Kiba's thumbs were yanked out of her panties, draping herself around him instead, "I'm all ready to get photographed! Say, I like the photos even a little and I might come back for a second round," here she winked at Kiba, "and let him watch."

Kiba probably died on their doorstep right then, but Naruto laughed and shook his head.

_Horny college students._

...He felt old just thinking that.

Karin proved she was perfectly shameless and undressed completely right before him once they were inside, allowing him to make minor adjustments to his ideal shots as he got a good eyeful of his material.

Her breasts weren't very big, but they were a good shape and had areolae in perfect circles. Her bust was smaller than her butt, giving her a distinctly pear shaped type of body. She had very little body hair, pretty much only her eyebrows and her hair on her head, with nothing to give away if the carpet matched the drapes. Her legs weren't the type of long most girls desired, but they were the only part of her body that were relatively unmarked.

Her tattoos, of which she had four large ones, were mostly black and red in color and all had swirling designs to hide bite mark scars. Naruto thought they were gorgeous, and so he told her so.

"I designed them myself. I didn't want anyone to tell me how ugly or broken I was, so I guess I wanted to both cover up my scars and show the world that I'm beautiful too," Karin smiled at him, a honest sort of look that really did make her look less plain and more stunning, "I mean, I'm no supermodel but I finally woke up one day and thought, who cares about all that shallow stuff? I've been through hell and I survived. I will never look like all those other girls. I'll look like me. I've gotta love it all!"

Naruto grinned back at her, camera in hand, realizing, I want to take pictures of that.

That feeling he'd gotten with Sasuke, the shot he'd just had to take, he'd found it again in the inked body of a girl he barely knew.

"I know you'll be comfortable in any pose, right?" Naruto inquired, relishing in the feeling, "So I'll position you for a little bit and then at the end you can decide some poses and shots you want yourself."

He shot so many pictures of her body that he ran out of film and it was almost sunset.

* * *

Naruto had gotten little out of Suigetsu on the manner of Sasuke, but the white-blonde pulled through by telling Naruto he was free to drop off Karin's developed nudes at his apartment and to hang out until he caught sight of his elusive fashion student.

Sasuke had been not avoiding him per say, but definitely not going out of his way to acknowledge him either. Naruto wanted another conversation, longer and more viable and more.

Hanging out with Suigetsu involved sitting on the Manila folder of Karin's nudes whilst fighting off his host to keep them safe from curious eyes. Naruto had not been entirely okay with wrestling on the couch for the folder and often he'd had to cry out for a pause to make sure nothing got damaged. Getting prints developed like that was expensive and hell if they were getting bent.

Of course, it was when they had gotten themselves into a horribly suggestive situation that Sasuke walked in, the door clicking shut to sudden, abrupt silence. He stared at Naruto, who was pinned to the ground, his hands pushing Suigetsu's face away from his, where he had the Manila folder tucked.

Sasuke stared for a good while, seemingly not even breathing.

"Sasuke!" Suigetsu greeted warmly, hands still groping for the nudes.

"Suigetsu. Stalker," Sasuke addressed them both in turn. He walked over to the couch, pulled out a sketchbook from his overstuffed black backpack, and ignored them both.

Naruto was sure he'd flushed an unknown color of red when Sasuke had said his nickname. Also blood had wanted to go other places, but the sheer embarrassment was a boner killer.

"Dude, I just got the nudes!" Suigetsu, having taken advantage of Naruto's Sasuke related distraction, had stolen the folder out from under Naruto's head and was waving his prize wildly.

Naruto snatched them right back out of Suigetsu's grabby hands, and looked back over at Sasuke, completely enraptured.

Sasuke looked back up at him, ran dark eyes over his form, his mouth twitching as if it didn't know whether to turn up or down, and then he hid his face even better with his sketchbook and his dark bangs blocking out any show of glassy orbs or plush velvet mouths.

Naruto found himself being pushed to the door, an apologetic Suigetsu hushing him from any protests.

After escorting him out with the explanation that Sasuke would not be so amused ("--would be a total drama queen bitch tomorrow morning, like I had personally ended the world or something, it's the worst morning related bullshit ever, and it only gets worse if I keep him up, you have no idea", as Suigetsu put it) if their wrestling continued in his presence, the white-blonde called quits and pinky-promised not to peek at the nudes so long as he left them for the evening.

Just to be extra sure, Naruto slapped a sticker over the flap and wrote his name on it. Therefore, he reasoned, the ripped sticker would prove if Suigetsu had kept his promise or not.

The nudes were confidential, just between Naruto and Karin, unless she decided otherwise. The girl had nothing to be ashamed of; a lot of the shots were impressive and one of them even had enough of a feel that he had put it next to The Photo for comparison and it didn't pale. Naruto had kept copies of the very best of the best shots, because Karin agreed that he could.

"So he likes you," Suigetsu noted, taking the newly stickered folder back, "Sasuke does."

Naruto colored red, "He does?"

"He teased you! He gave you the time of day. You have no idea how rare that is," Suigetsu shook his head.

"He likes me," Naruto savored the words on his tongue.

Suigetsu gave him a big toothy smile, "He doesn't like a lot of people. He likes Juugo, Karin, and I and he adores his big brother, but everyone else is damn near pointless as roadkill to him."

"Noted," Naruto laughed dryly, the words 'he likes me' still ringing in his head.

Sasuke likes him.

* * *

This very fact, he relays to Sakura in utmost distress.

"He likes me! What if I fuck it up?!" Naruto cried, cradling his phone to his ear and curled up well on his side, under the flimsy amount of blankets he had stolen for the occasion.

"You dimwit... God, you should win the Darwin awards for how stupid you can be, and you haven't even almost died yet."

He whined, "That's not a compliment, Sakura."

"He already likes you and all you've done is stalk him around and have two vague conversations in which you learned his name and his major. You don't even know anything about him besides. Here's your biggest problem; what if you get to know him and he's not worth your time?"

"You're upset," Naruto realized.

"Yes! I'm upset! You walk in there and you told him your name and all he calls you is 'stalker'?! No hello? No semblance of a human greeting? Even in your short little rendezvous, he treats you like you're not worth his time! How do you still like this guy? He looks great but he's not worth you! No guy should be allowed to jerk around with people like that! You're falling way too fast, based off some picture instead of the actual person! You left me all for some unknown guy who already told you he'll never let you photograph him!"

Naruto felt something click, "This isn't about Sasuke. This is about you."

She was sniffling on the other end of the connection, appropriately sounding sort of ashamed.

"Something happened and you're upset and I'm not there, and you are blaming Sasuke for why I left," Naruto connected the dots, "So what happened? You can tell me."

"...Sai and I... do you remember him from the p-party? We'd dated for a b-bit, yeah?"

Oh, yeah. If they'd been together since the party it would be like a month and a half, not too long.

"Uhuh?"

"He told me--that he wasn't all that into m-me and that he's leaving to get his masters in Taiwan--! And the day after, we had this train wreck of a time trying to have sex--and I don't know, somewhere b-between the condom ripping-- and him taking my morning after pills on accident all the way to the airport and off to fucking Taiwan--and I totally forgot about it until like, two weeks after because _hell, I just got d-dumped!"_ She made a noise that sounded like a scream gone wrong, "So I get this call from Tenten who's like a b-big watermelon ever since Neji totally kn-knocked her up, and I remember that I hadn't been taking my b-birth control for ages! Which okay, reminded me I needed to g-go get some, b-but, then I thought my p-period was going to start soon, so why not just w-wait until after? But it was su-supposed to start yesterday and it hasn't! I haven't bought a pregnancy test yet because I'm sc-scared that it'll be p-p-positive!"

Sakura was bawling now, hiccuping when her breath tried to catch up to her wailing. She probably didn't look much better than she sounded, and Naruto could only hear her words earlier.

_(No hello? No semblance of a human greeting? ...he treats you like you're not worth his time! How do you still like this guy? He looks great but he's not worth you! No guy should be allowed to jerk around with people like that!)_

Sakura had been talking about Sai. She had been blaming herself, and she hadn't known how to bring it up to Naruto. She finally cracked under the weight of the fact she might be pregnant and the father had flown across the world without her.

Oh, Naruto thought. Shit, that might require him to call Boss Jiraiya and beg for a few days off. He couldn't let Sakura go though that sort of fear alone. She never had too many friends who were girls, Hinata being a rare exclusion, and Tenten, who was married to Hinata's cousin Neji and was obligated to like friends of the family. Neither of them lived in Sacramento anymore and so Sakura had little to do in the way of a support system.  The friends she had who were boys were mostly the type that fled as soon as things got rough.

Naruto and she had been best friends and he just left her.

Guilt hit like a punch to the stomach.

He soothed down her crying and told her a multitude of true things, "You're not alone," "I love you," "It'll be okay."

Once her hiccuping and bawling had died down, he let his mind race, "Here's what we'll do, Sakura, okay? You take the pregnancy test. If it's positive, I'll drive up there and we can talk it over what'll happen. It's a big decision and I'll support you either way you want to go. Just, promise me you won't panic?"

"N-Naruto... You--you shouldn't d-do anything--"

"Sakura, we're best friends. I'm not gonna leave you alone to deal with this sort of thing," Naruto said in his best soothing voice, calling on every last bit of patience and knowledge he had, "You don't know if you are pregnant or not, so buy a pregnancy test. I took that class on human sexuality, remember? Unprotected sex doesn't always lead to pregnancy. While sperm can stay alive for several days, there is a healthy chance that you are fine and your period is just late."

That did seem to help. Naruto was screaming in his head and sometimes he went as far as clenching shut his eyes and screeching without sound, but _he would not panic_ until Sakura had hung up.

"Thank you, Naruto," she babbled, her voice uneven, "I love you so much. I don't even want to imagine life without you."

He smiled, but it was only a half smile. Naruto loved Sakura too, and he knew that while they didn't always see eye to eye on certain subjects, they really were best friends. He shouldn't have left her alone in Sacramento.

"Call me back as soon as you know, Sakura," Naruto demanded, looking at the time. It was getting late, soon he'd have to go asleep, now that her crisis was over.

"Right, of course, you have work--! Um, I'll call soon, okay?"

"Love you too, Sakura," he said.

"Love you more."

He hung up.

Naruto screamed as loud as his lungs would let him.


	3. Capture

Work was hell. His thoughts would just not leave Sakura. What if she was preggo? What if she decided to keep it?

He would leave Santa Barbara, all of his shaky plans be damned. Sai hadn't stuck around and who knew if Sakura would ever see him again, and Sakura shouldn't have to care for a kid all on her own. She was far far too young to raise a child, she still thought she was a child herself!

Naruto didn't want to admit it but if she let him he would try and become a support pillar for both her and her future child. He knew Sakura didn't want a child--but she might not want to kill one in the making either.

Agh, was he being disrespectful and a supporter of patriarchy if he thought she shouldn't have to raise a kid on her own? Was it, like, stating that Sakura wasn't going to be a good single mother if he wanted to fill the spot of father until Sakura actually had someone new and dependable in her life?

Raising a kid... Naruto had mostly raised himself. He didn't know how real parents actually acted, just how they were like on TV. No one had even tried to become his parent until long after he needed one. He loved Iruka but he was less like a father and more like an older brother.

He just knew that he wanted to support Sakura no matter what.

Which brought him to:

What would he do about Sasuke? He couldn't just... But he could. He could leave forever and risk Sasuke forgetting such a person as Naruto Uzumaki existed.

But Sasuke liked him.

Naruto trudged to the UCSB campus with heavy feet and drooping eyes and a desire to curl up in one of those comfy chairs he had gotten acquainted with.

Before he had walked too far in, he saw Sasuke on the pathway of another building holding a far too large for one person box, and wobbling under it's weight and his own impaired vision. A pair of pale haired twins were jabbing him in the sides and directing him where to move, although they seemed to have Sasuke walking straight for a pole.

Naruto's entire body screamed at the thought of manual labor, but he walked over and grabbed the top of the box, pulling it so that it'd twist and the weight was evenly distributed between them. It was much heavier than it looked, which said something.

Sasuke directed his sharp eyes at Naruto, and instead of narrowing, they relaxed around the corners, softening and leaving Naruto with a view of heaven itself. Pale pink, almost nude, lips pulled up into a smile so tiny that it was only Sasuke's soft eyes that let Naruto in on the secret. Sasuke was smiling.

The box ended up across campus in a spare room, and Naruto had felt the wonders of a Sasuke suddenly in reach.

"Thanks, I guess... Stalker," Sasuke addressed him with, but his tone was teasing, so Naruto grinned back. He had this awful desire to curl up with Sasuke and listen to music too loudly and lay his head on Sasuke's shoulder.

"Bastard. What's in the box?" Naruto inquired, anything to keep Sasuke near him and talking.

"Exploded worms from the caffeine experiments in the biology department," Sasuke said in such a droll voice that Naruto didn't quite believe.

"Exploded... worms?" Naruto repeated.

"I didn't fucking stutter. There are exploded worms in the damn box," he confirmed.

"Why were you...?"

"I do lab work for a Biology 201 teacher. Dr. Orochimaru Tsuisutohebi," Sasuke took a second to glare off into the distance, his anger looking only too cute instead of threatening, "He's brilliantly evil. I fucking hate him."

Naruto leaned back against the wall, eyes glued to Sasuke's form. Although portraying that existing was a horrendous chore, the younger man had a stubborn tick in his soft jawline and the disposition of a pissed off cactus, all while looking fabulous in a thick hoodie, acid-wash jeans, and a flawlessly spiked head of black silk. Sasuke, Naruto thought, and it sounded like the thrum of a guitar vibrating along his conscious. He had never wanted someone so much. He also had rarely wanted to fight someone as much either, and Naruto had been a delinquent. He'd wanted to beat up a lot of people.

"Why's a fashion major doing lab work for a biology teacher?" The blonde played with his belt loops, twisting the strip of fabric as he watched and tried not to think dirty thoughts.

No table to hide unfortunate erections here.

"Stupid question, dipshit. I already told you I'm double majoring. I'm a biomed major too," Sasuke gave him a withering glare, "And I need to get back to work. I indulged you long enough."

Naruto needed an off-button on Sasuke whenever he turned on his heels like that. Three times and he still couldn't stop Sasuke when he wanted to run off. Naruto tore at his hair and made a frustrated noise that couldn't have been mistaken for anything else but antagonized fury.

Underneath it all, he didn't want to leave Sasuke. His instincts told him to run after his muse, to get up in his face, but... he wanted to be friends with Sasuke so bad. More than, yes, but at least friends. It wasn't impossible, he thought, feeling his spirits rise once again. He actually got to learn something new about Sasuke, and all he'd had to do was ask. His fashion student was one quantum closer to being understandable.

The blonde chuckled to himself, "Maybe I won't have to leave."

* * *

Naruto gripped the phone hard enough to crush it into little fragments of plastic and silicon.

"I'm glad you called, kiddo! I've missed you," Iruka said, voice cheerful and open and loving.

"I'm driving back home this weekend," Naruto enunciated clearly, unable to keep his voice from being too deep or shaky, "You don't mind me hanging in my old room, right?"

Iruka took a second to answer, "I always want you around, Naruto. I love you. Is there something I should know?"

Naruto leaned against his kitchen counter, eyes clenched shut. He knew his breathing was speeding up and he could very well hyperventilate if he didn't get himself under control. Panic attacks were nothing new to him. They were unfortunate concessions given to life. He had gotten good at stopping them in their tracks.

Forcibly taking a deep breath and holding until his chest felt like it was bursting, then letting it all out with a rush of wind, he said through clenched teeth, "I'll tell you everything once it's all figured out. It's nothing illegal or anything."

"I'll trust you," Iruka sounded like he was rubbing his head, "I know you write e-mails home and leave me obnoxious Facebook posts but, you rarely call. Why don't you tell me vocally how Santa Barbara is? And I don't mean what you ate last week, I get enough of that already."

That, Naruto could do.

"I told you I'm working a shitty shift at one of those tourism photography places, yeah?"

"You've complained, yes," Iruka laughed dryly.

"I have this awful coworker! His name's Kakashi and the other day he was like, two hours late for his shift, which is right after mine, and so I had to keep working the camera until he showed up, the lazy fuck."

"Bad luck."

Naruto groaned, "He does it all the time and since he's friends with the boss, he always gets away with it."

"Maybe you could talk to your boss about proper fairness in the workplace and such? Or how about overtime pay?" Iruka suggested, and honestly, why hadn't Naruto thought of that earlier?

Then again, it might not be an issue too much longer.

"I'll keep it in consideration. So um, remember when I met that guy, photographed him really, when I first came here on vacation to get shots for my final project, you know, The Photo I showed you? Cliffs, ocean, sunset, a guy standing by the railing?"

"I remember seeing it one of the times you came home on the weekends," Iruka teased. They both knew The Photo. Naruto had shoved it into everyone's faces.

"I found him like I said I was going to. He's really frustrating but that's just Sasuke, I think. I kind of, uh, I really want a photo shoot with his pretty prickly stubborn ass even more now. He's very adamant about not agreeing. He threatened to sue me, even! So I've been following him around his college campus in hopes we can get to know each other better!"

He's so great, Naruto didn't say. He smells like burnt firewood and detergent, and I want to kiss him senseless. I also want to beat him up sometimes but mostly I want to hug him. He wears these clothes that make me think he is constantly trying to protect himself from the world. I want to understand him so maybe I can say I love him without worrying that I'm making the biggest mistake of my life.

"He's a fashion major which I see him doing stuff for a lot even though it's summer and the campus is mostly abandoned, but recently he told me he's double majoring in Biochem. Graduating with honors in the spring. I mean, what a genetic lottery! Smart and pretty!"

"You quite obviously like this boy a lot."

"Yeah, I do," Naruto moaned, "He's got great friends too. One of them, Karin, she requested me to do a shoot with her in the nude. I'd never done nudes before but I got really great photos of her. She's got great tattoos and a fun personality. Weirdly enough, she looks like that photo I have of my mom."

"Of Kushina? Did you ever think that she might be related to you? The Uzumakis were a large family. Kushina herself was an only child but she had many cousins."

Naruto hadn't thought of it.

"That's so weird... I might mention it soon. But... I'm thinking of moving back," he confessed, remembering the reason for the phone call in the first place, "but I don't want to leave Santa Barbara. It's beautiful here. I have new friends and Sasuke is here--!"

Any place where Sasuke lived automatically was a good place in Naruto's mind. After all, Naruto would live anywhere if he could be with his prickly muse.

"...Then why are you thinking about moving back?" Iruka asked softly, "Is this about money? Minato and Kushina's funds should be enough to sustain anything you need, you don't have to try to--"

"I'm doing great on the money front! Don't worry about it, okay? It's not me. I want to be there for Sakura," Naruto confessed, tapping the table nervously.

"Last I heard, she was fine. She's been through break-ups without you, Naruto. You can't run back home every time she stubs a toe," Iruka scolded.

Naruto knew where Iruka's concern came from. As soon as he became friends with Sakura, he'd played the part of her knight in shining armor. Even when he was with Hinata, Sakura was his best friend, and anyone who fucked with her could guarantee to deal with him. While they'd weeded out his habits of punching people at first provocation, he'd pranked the shit out of people in secret.

"She's never been pregnant before," Naruto said under his breath, but... he knew Iruka would still catch it. He wanted him to hear it. He wanted to talk about this.

Iruka made a soothing noise, "That's why you're driving up this weekend."

"She's my best friend! I've gotta take care of her! I know, you've told me a bajillion, a googolplex of times, that she's a strong independent woman and I'm just being overbearing but it's Sakura!" Naruto tried his best to get his adopted father to understand him.

He'd had no one besides Iruka and then he'd had Sakura. And she'd taped up his knuckles after he'd gotten into huge fights and kissed his forehead and signed him up for mixed martial arts classes with her to get his aggression out in a better way. She'd confiscated his "no good stupid fucking headband" that was a memento from being in his old gang, telling him that he had better things to wear on his head. And she'd been right, when she'd stood next to him wearing their caps and gowns and he'd been handed his diploma and the entire day he'd felt like a king.

She was his best friend. He'd throw his life away for that.

"I will never understand why you think you have to go so far, Naruto. You're not the father," Iruka said, slowly, probably knowing well he was walking on eggshells.

"That doesn't matter. If I was going through something that big, she'd rush down here for me too," Naruto reassured himself. The phone felt sticky and slippery in his palm. He was sweating too much. Not good.

"No, Naruto. I think you're unique. Not many people will give up what they dream of to resign themselves to a life they never wanted, just to help a friend."

"I never said I was gonna give up my dream! And why is it wrong for me to want her to be happy?" Naruto retorted, feeling like something was slowly squishing him, suddenly terrified, "Anyway, it's not like my dream will be gone entirely. It'll be setback a few years or something. And I'm already goofing around here, if you think about it! I mean, after college, I was lost as to what to do. I went for moving away and starting in a brand new place and stuff but it's not like I've actually gotten started on my dream! I have two spectacular pictures and a collection of good ones and nothing in the way of a portfolio and I don't know where to drag my life!"

Naruto coughed as his chest constricted, remembering only just now that he'd forgotten to check his breathing. It felt like he wasn't getting enough air, like he was drowning.

"Shh, Naruto, shhhh... Everything is okay. You are okay. Sakura is okay. I'm here for you." Iruka soothed.

"No--!" Naruto forced out between breaths, his stomach churning and his vision blurring, "I'm scared! I--!"

"It's okay, baby, there's nothing to be scared of, shh..."

His head hurt. He was going to pass out. The phone was slipping out of his fingers. Shit-- shit shit he didn't have time for this--

"Kiba!" He roared, staggering. If that didn't wake up his roommate then he'd be damned--

He couldn't hear anything past the throbbing in his ears.

Naruto desperately tried to breathe, tried not to see stars, tried to stay standing.

It was futile. He toppled like a demolished building, his fingers gripping the kitchen counter just in time.

The phone had clattered to the ground and skidded off somewhere and Naruto knew somehow that Kiba had woken up, had come running, was saying something Naruto couldn't hear--

Kiba was pounding on his back and was saying something reassuring if only he could hear it.

Naruto inhaled, and the force of Kiba's fist made him actually exhale. Air. Air.

The blonde felt his vision slowly return, his hearing clear up, the tightness ease. He continued just to focus on breathing. Breathing, much more important than overwhelming fear, much more important. In, out.

In... Out.

His chest obeyed his orders and his head lost its fuzz.

It'd been a while since he had a panic attack like that. Especially one not brought about by his social anxiety.

Naruto leaned against Kiba, taking slow breaths.

"You okay, man? I thought you were dying!" Kiba pestered, as in all logical situations, he should do.

"I... I had a panic attack. I get them, I put it on my advertising poster, remember?" Naruto pulled his mouth into a shaky smile, "Sorry for waking you up, dude."

Kiba shook his head, "I'd be a dick to be mad over that. Bad phone call?" He made a pointed gesture to the buzzing phone.

"Hand that over?" Naruto asked weakly.

Kiba gave him a raised eyebrow but obeyed.

"Thanks," Naruto said, bringing the phone back up to his ear, "I'm so sorry, Iruka."

"Are you okay? Your panic attacks have rarely escalated like that, not since your sophomore year of college," Iruka fussed.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Naruto squeezed his eyes shut, "Remember I'm coming up for the weekend. Whether I move or not, it depends on what she decides. I have to be there for her."

"I'm not denying you that. She won't die, she is completely fine, so please, take care of yourself first. You're precious to me."

"I love you too, I promise I'll take care. See you soon?"

"Yes. I miss you."

"Me too."

Naruto hung up. Kiba gave him an expectant look.

"My best friend got knocked up," he started, "I'm not taking it too well. It's not as big of a mess as I'm probably thinking it is, but she's my best friend so, it... it's one of those things that I freak out over. Thanks for saving my butt, man."

"Anytime. Anytime. Say, in return, can Akamaru sleep in the bedroom just for tonight?" Kiba grinned, pointing to the very hyper, very big puppy, whom Naruto had banished from the bedroom after being woken up for the gazillionth time by his whining.

"Just tonight." Naruto agreed.

* * *

The drive up wasn't bad. Naruto had pulled over a couple times to stare at The Photo and calm his breathing down and so it had taken closer to 7 and 1/2 hours than the predicted 6. It wasn't the stress free ride down, but it hadn't been bad.

Boss Jiraiya had let him have Saturday through Monday off just because Naruto had pledged it to be a matter of personal emergency, which was more than Naruto had accounted for. He'd drove up on Friday after work. He'd gotten to Iruka's at 8 and crashed immediately. Naruto wasn't sure if that was because he was tired or because he was stressed.

He slept in late.

It was a beautiful feeling to fall asleep and wake up with mid-morning sun making his cheeks sweaty and blankets worthless, to wake up boneless. Naruto rolled out of his old bed and straight to the floor, carpet meeting whiskered cheek.

He blinked away sleepy tears and not so sleepy ones, curling up in the shade provided by his bed.

"Naruto? Kiddo?" Iruka opened his door and peered in, bringing the smell of eggs and ham with him, "I heard a bang."

"I rolled off the bed," Naruto pulled himself up, pasting on a grin, "No sweat. Do I smell eggs and ham? Did you make me breakfast? Awesome!"

Iruka gave him a critical look, but apparently he held up underneath the observation and passed his adoptive father's test, because the brown haired man just tsked and led the way to the kitchen.

Iruka's kitchen was bigger than Naruto's and had a lot more appliances. Example, a juicer working away on the linoleum counter-top squishing oranges or grapefruits or something for the good stuff. Maybe lemons?

It wasn't for Naruto, he knew that much. The juice was for whatever puny stuck-up brats Iruka was going to tutor on a Saturday to "fatten up" his income in case of an emergency. Like it needed any padding, the twenty-one year old snorted. Iruka had a steady teaching job that covered everything, and he'd rarely had to worry about stretching his funds to pay for Naruto's things. His college expenses had all been covered courtesy of scholarships and Minato and Kushina's money.

Naruto took a seat at the kitchen book table, noting the full glass of (most definitely from a carton) orange juice already poured for him. It was the no pulp stuff which he detested but whatever, it wasn't like Iruka ever bought the kind with unless there was torture involved. He even got his favorite plate, with the tiny foxes on the edges, not that he'd ever informed Iruka that he liked it.

"You're looking awfully cozy," Iruka smiled at him, eyes twinkling. He hoisted the pan full of (shout out to Dr. Seuss) green eggs and ham and carried it over.

"Just because I'm used to living on my own doesn't mean that I don't miss home sometimes!" Naruto protested, twirling a fork around his fingers as his foster father piled half the pan of eggs onto his plate.

A pause, "You think of this house as your home?"

Naruto stared at Iruka blankly, "Come on, two years living in a shitty dorm room and another two months in an apartment didn't make me forget the six years I spent here."

Iruka chuckled sheepishly, "I just thought that with the amount you've moved around, living with me would just be another house... You never did call me 'Dad' and you were awfully independent before you even met me. To me, it had felt like you were eager to leave."

"No, no, no!" Naruto dropped his fork. "You've got it all wrong!"

"...I suppose I did," he portioned out the ham between them, the extra big slice placed on Naruto's plate with a flop.

Naruto shoved a forkful of eggs in his mouth and said between bites, "I love this--" chomp, "--house! You're great--" chew, "--Iruka! I just never--" nom, "--thought of anyone but Minato and Kushina as my parents, you know? I grew up with pictures of them and I always thought, these guys loved me. My mom died soon after giving birth to me but you know how she left me a note telling me how much she loved me and all this advice! And my dad shielded me with his life in that car crash. He shouldn't have died, but he twisted over and protected me. I got away with these scars on my cheeks when I should've died. Those people are my parents! I may never know much more about them than that they loved me, but Minato Namikaze is my dad, and Kushina Uzumaki is my mom."

Seeing Iruka's downcast eyes, Naruto added, "You're the best adoptive dad I could ever ask for, and I totally love you lots! Who else would have b-rated horror movie marathons with ramen and enough buttery popcorn to give us both diabetes? Who else attended my graduations and fought with all the old fussy grandmas at the front of the stadium hogging all the good seats? Who picked me up after I vomited all over Neji Hyuuga during that after-prom party? Who gave me the most support any kid could wish for when I came out? You're part of my family! But in respect to my birth parents, I'm not gonna call anyone else Mom and Dad."

"I understand. Thank you, Naruto," Iruka smiled, tucking in to his own breakfast.

Naruto was almost finished, and with the shoveling of a last couple bites of green food and the chugging of orange juice, he was well and ready to face the day. Maybe not quite face Sakura, but... the living and breathing and stuff, that he thought he could do. Anyway, Sakura wasn't expecting him until lunch at 12:30. Naruto had a good, he double-checked the oven clock, four hours to get ready for it.

"Did I sour your mood with our discussion?" His foster father asked, still working on his ham. The food coloring had stained his tongue, Naruto belatedly noticed as he stuck it out in a decidedly mature fashion.

"Nah. I just... what if I freak Sakura out and ruin everything? Like, what if she has it all under control and I'm just gonna be a nuisance?" Naruto mumbled.

"She always wants her best friend around, if only to punch the snot out of you," Iruka teased.

The blonde smiled, picking up his plate and bringing it to the sink, scrubbing it clean. Iruka had a strict policy of scrubbing the plates immediately after eating. After which, they went straight to the dishwasher, where Naruto stashed his.

The ritual was still routine.

Iruka didn't bother him and let him deal with showering and getting neat without fuss, although he did turn on the washing machine in the middle of said shower and deprive Naruto of water pressure and heat, to his shrieking horror.

Toweling off, Naruto stared in the bathroom mirror.

He pinched at his new belly chub. Well, he'd have to go to the gym again soon. His muscles were still mostly there, but he hadn't done much exercise in Santa Barbara. He'd better fix it soon.

Naruto squished up his cheeks, stared at the dark skin under his eyes. He really wasn't taking care of himself. No wonder Iruka was fussing.

Muffled through the door, "You've spent far too long in there already. It's only Sakura!"

Naruto colored crimson and fixed his towel in place before creeping down the hallway to his room. He couldn't stand changing in the bathroom. It was hot and humid and his clothes stuck like a second skin. Changing in his room always felt better. Kiba had learned to suffer through accidental flashing.

Tugging up jeans that he swore were baggier when he'd bought them, he turned a critical eye to the clock.

An hour and a half.

Sakura might, very well could, had every rhyme and reason to, cry, Naruto thought in belated horror, and he would totally cry right with her because he always cried easier than she did. It was a miracle he didn't cry in front of her when she first told him about her pregnancy-- because he cried when he bit his tongue and when he was getting patched up after fights. He cried when Sakura got dumped really bad and tried to pretend it didn't bother her so he wouldn't go after her exes because she still loved them, he cried when Iruka got that nostalgic "I miss my parents" look, he cried sometimes when he saw pictures of his deceased parents, he cried when he read the note his mom left him telling him to eat his vegetables and grow strong because she would always love him, etc.

And if he cried, things might get fucked up.

He didn't want to accidentally guilt Sakura into a decision she didn't want. He didn't want to portray that he supported one side or the other. All Naruto wanted was to hold her and tell her she was beautiful and that whatever she decided was the right decision because it was what was best for her.

Naruto pulled on a t-shirt and an orange hoodie. The socks and shoes would come later; he had an hour to kill, and he planned to sneak up on Iruka and give him surprise hugs until his adoptive father snapped and told him to knock it off.

It was a good, stress relieving way to chuck an hour out the window.

"Are you really ready to go talk to Sakura? I know you're a young man now and yada yada you can take care of yourself, but you did have a panic attack recently--" Iruka fussed as soon as the clocked ticked to a half hour till and the hyperactive idiot had to grab his keys and his wallet off the counter where he threw them the night before.

"I'll be fine!" Naruto promised, holding up his fist for a bump.

Iruka sighed and gave in.

\---

The lunch place was a local favorite, a small family owned place, and served insanely good fish sticks. The best fish sticks Naruto had ever had, somehow. Although he admitted he was no fish stick connoisseur. He was a ramen connoisseur, and he stayed very loyal to his loved favorite food.

Sakura liked the low-fat end options the shop offered and the chopped salads, so Naruto could pig out on fish sticks whilst she nibbled and both sides were happy.

Even though Naruto showed up nearly exactly on time, Sakura had shown up earlier and already snagged a table. She half-heartedly waved him over, two drinks already in front of her. Naruto slid in across her, bouncing on the springs of his booth.

"Did you order already?" He asked, pulling his drink over closer by his teeth. Sakura curled up her lip at the childish table manners.

"Yes, yes, I got you your fish sticks... Don't spill that just because you're too stubborn to join the ranks of us mature adults!" she panicked, hand shooting out to stabilize the wobbling drink, threatening to spill ice and its bubbling purple contents.

He grinned, "You're the best! Man, you even got me Grape soda and everything!"

Grape soda was great and Naruto didn't understand why it was deemed childish. Neither did he get why fish sticks were served only as part of the kids menu here. He always had to get three servings of them to even feel full, and he'd die if they made the kids menu kids-only.

"I know what you like," she smiled, finally, but she still looked scared. Shaken. Worried. She wasn't happy Sakura. She was upset but trying to hide it Sakura.

"You'd better know! I've known you way too long..." Naruto chewed his bottom lip; could he just begin talking about her pregnancy or did he have to wait until she mentioned it? Maybe he should wait until later; what if he embarrassed her in front of the entire restaurant and she punched him hard enough to kill him?

Eek!

Sakura brushed her choppy pink strands behind her ear, eyes downcast, "It's okay. No use in avoiding the topic. I want to talk it over with you."

Naruto opened his mouth, but was interrupted by the waiter bringing over two plates full of steaming fish sticks, and a third plate of a crab cake sandwich, with one of those deli pickles on the side and a toothpick shaped like a dolphin stuck through the top.

Once the waiter had strutted off, he turned back to her, "What? No healthy 500 calories or less option?"

Sakura's face turned dark, like she had just murdered a family of twelve and was coming back for the distant cousins to finish the job. Haughtily, she snubbed her nose up and sneered, "I'm pregnant, I'll be fat as a walrus in no time. Considering most everything comes right back out of my mouth in the morning, one fucking crab sandwich isn't gonna change much. Getting a pole shoved up my vagina?--Maybe."

Well that was one way to breach a topic.

The blonde could feel himself begin to sweat, that his temples and palms were getting sticky. But, Sakura had the right to be moody. Pregnant people, they were fairly moody, right? Also didn't they normally vomit a lot in the morning and want to eat really weird foods?

"I didn't mean to make it sound like a bad thing," he said meekly.

Sakura rubbed her head and looked up between her brown eyelashes, a tentative smile coming back on her face, "Sorry for exploding. My dad's been pretty harsh lately about what I've been eating. I've told him about the pregnancy thing and I think he's stressed about it."

Stressed? When was Mr. Haruno not stressed was the better question.

"Do you know what'cha gonna do yet?" Naruto dipped his fish sticks in the complimentary sauce, "Like, keep it or abort it?"

Sakura stayed silent for a second, then, "I don't know yet."

That was conclusive.

"It doesn't matter what you decide!" Naruto said before his brain ran it through his filter, "I mean-- uh, it doesn't matter to us, you know, the people who love you, yeah, we'll support you no matter what!"

"I haven't told anyone else," Sakura looked away, "and my dad said that he thinks I should get an abortion because no man wants an ugly woman with stretch marks and a saggy vagina."

The blonde slammed his fist on the table, making a loud bang and a couple fish sticks jump ship.

"Bullshit," Naruto growled, "Fucking bullshit."

"Hey! Don't be so loud!" She hushed him, looking warily at the nearby tables.

"He's being a dick! Sakura, popping out a baby won't make you any less gorgeous and he's a fucking asshole for listing that as why you should get an abortion!"

"Do you have any better reasons?" She rolled her eyes dryly. She was playing devil's advocate and she wanted him to spill something. His opinion, maybe. Too bad, Naruto thought, I won't tell you what I think. Sakura's decision meant Sakura should make it, not let anyone, him included, boss her around. Her body, her choice.

Naruto snorted, "Try because you're not ready to be a mother! Or maybe you don't want to spend nine months carrying around the equivalent of ten textbooks in your abdomin! How about medical or heath concerns? The cost of doctor's appointments and ultrasounds and all that?"

Sakura slumped down on the table, arms crossed, "Shut up, Naruto. My parasite, my decision. Which means my stupid, selfish, dumb reasons too!"

"It's going to be a baby, it's not a parasite!" Naruto spit, confusion filling his face. What the fuck, Sakura, calling a baby a...

"I can call it whatever I want! You don't get a say," Sakura hissed right back. "It's not yours!"

They hadn't escalated to actual yelling. Naruto didn't want to get kicked out and Sakura would never make a scene in public when she could.

Still there was a table watching them, a group of guys who had started eyeing Naruto like he was the biggest jerk on this side of the planet.

"It could be, if you asked!" Naruto pushed back.

"I thought you were all about Mr. Wonderful! One photo and then you're living 6 hours away for him! Don't go acting as if you want anything to do with me and whatever's cooking in my stomach--"

"I'd move back and help you take care of it if you wanted to keep it. I'd do it," Naruto confessed, but judging by Sakura's teary eyed expression, she didn't want to hear it. Then, smiling softly, he lied, "I don't care about Sasuke."

"You're crazy about him!" She spat, the crying just about to begin. A blink was all she would need to have it all spill onto her cheeks.

So be it. Naruto told her, brutally honest with both himself and Sakura, "One person I barely know versus my best friend? You helped save me, Sakura. I'd do anything to help you."

"I never asked for you to do anything like that! I was thinking maybe, yeah I'll keep the baby, I don't want to kill it and I'm not suffering nine months just to give it away, but then I remembered that you're too hyper-masculine-- Rah! Go patriarchy!-- to think I'm fine without a man in my life, and you'll throw away everything for me! So you know what? There! It's as good as dead! Go back to Santa Barbara and start being selfish for once in your fucking life!"

"Sakura..." Naruto sat back, just watching her cry.

Be... Selfish? Wasn't driving up here selfish of him? Wasn't asking her to let him take care of her, let him protect her, wasn't that selfish?

Naruto squeezed a fish stick hard enough to smash it, and he took a set of deep breaths. He'd fucked everything up so quickly he must've been related to the Flash.

"Why, why, why? Naruto, don't you want to be happy?" Sakura cried harder, "I'm stupid, I fucked everything up, I messed up bad and I'm scared, I don't want this! I want you to go back to Santa Barbara and just pretend I never tried to ruin your life!"

"I offered--"

"I knew you'd offer! I told you, I told you!" She grabbed for a napkin, face completely red with twin waterfalls and a running nose, "I hate myself, I knew you'd baby me and tell me all those things I want to hear, like that I'm beautiful and I am perfect, and that you love me! And you don't love me like I want, you don't want me the way-- you!"

Naruto felt tears slip down his own cheeks, "Like you want? You're c-confused, Sakura, you want someone to love you romantically, but you don't want me to!"

"Ever since you left I've been upset and thinking I didn't feel this way when Hinata moved and she'd been my friend for way longer than you! I think I--"

"You can't! You told me there was no chance you'd ever feel that way about me!" Naruto clenched his fists, "We promised that there never could be anything there! I stuck to my promise!"

"I keep getting dumped by stupid guys who think I'm easy and I fucking want someone who doesn't think of me as a trumped up ten dollar whore! Don't they say that everyone always gets married to their best friend--"

"That's because people don't fall in love with strangers!" Naruto shook his head, crying even harder.

"You did!"

He wiped at his eyes, biting his bottom lip hard enough to hurt.

Sakura accused viciously, sounding horribly honest and horribly mad, "You took one photo and you did! This is about him, isn't it? You never were against dating me before!"

"You never asked after our promise!" Naruto stood up, making to leave.

Sakura's reddened eyes went wide, and she shook with sobs that looked almost painful.

The couple of guys had been watching their little fight from a booth across the aisle and a couple more down, and when Sakura stopped wiping at her eyes and just shook from silent sobs and he was half-way out of the table, Naruto was five hundred percent sure that one of the guys was going to stand up and threaten to beat him up.

Agh, go patriarchy, Naruto thought, as expected, a guy hauled him up by the collar.

"What the hell, making a cute girl like her cry like that, huh? You little shit!" His attacker snarled, and Naruto vaguely recognized him from one of his college classes at UC Sacramento in sophomore or junior year. He didn't want to complain, but if the man hadn't noticed that he was crying too, he suspected that he wouldn't care.

What was his name again? Oh well, it didn't exactly matter.

"N-no, stop! I'm just emotional!" Sakura protested, standing up and coming to Naruto's rescue.

"He made you cry, little lady. You ain't gonna protect this asshole."

Naruto struggled against his grip, finally getting the interloper to drop his shirt, only to get his arm twisted hard behind his back. He felt a few straggling tears drip off of his chin.

"I'm c-crying because I'm pregnant and emotional! He was crying too! Let him go!" Sakura waved her hands dramatically, looking around wildly to see if there was an employee to help them.

For his bit, Naruto didn't say anything. Best if Sakura diffused the situation; he wanted to be able to use his arms tomorrow. Plus, his voice would crack, and he'd probably just sob more.

"Why'd you let this little junk knock you up?"

"It's not his! I--"

"So you cheated," The guy assumed, and he dropped him. Naruto rolled his shoulder and glared at the man only a little.

"She didn't cheat. We're just friends. We're always going to be just friends," Naruto corrected him, but his eyes found Sakura and he hoped it sunk in. He apologized quietly, "Sorry for ruining lunch, Sakura."

Naruto's assaulter sauntered back to his table, grumbling about whatever.

"It's my fault," Sakura rubbed her cheeks, looking appropriately ashamed, "I shouldn't have made a scene."

Naruto had lost all of his desire to eat, and Sakura just asked a loitering (probably watching to see if he'd need to diffuse a fight or throw someone out) waiter to get them boxes so they could pay and leave.

Naruto paid for Sakura's despite her silent attempts to pay for herself. No matter what she said, he wasn't doing it because she was a girl. He was doing it because their lunch was ruined and no one should have to pay for a bad time. Naruto figured it was his fault somewhere along the line that everything happened as it did, so he would take responsibility.

Taking out the white styrofoam boxes, Naruto and Sakura lingered by the front entrance. Their first attempt at a private conversation about it had gone to shit but did he ask her to come back to his and try again or? He wanted to be alone, to curl up with his confused thoughts, to curl up around a certain fashion major and cease to think.

"Naruto, about that guy, I'm sorry he did that--"

"His actions weren't yours. You didn't ask him to accost me. And I shouldn't have acted like I did."

Shouldn't have gotten emotional. Shouldn't have tried to leave. Should have listened to Sakura about her feelings, because he was truly an awful best friend to get so upset over her feelings for him changing.

Sakura slapped him, hard.

"God fucking dammit, Naruto! Why are you trying to be such a fucking gentleman, right now, when I can't handle it?!" She slumped over, "Stop apologizing! You did nothing wrong! You acted exactly like how any girl would want their guy to act! You offered to spend your life with me so I can be happy if I so choose on a whim! I'm mad because you should be mad at me! Yell! Don't be nice to me! I don't deserve it! I broke your trust! I fucked up! I could've ruined our friendship over something I knew you didn't return!"

Naruto held his stinging cheek.

"I want you to be able to follow your dreams," Naruto mumbled, "I know I'm not that guy you need. I didn't mean to offer myself as a-- as a-- as anything but a friend, I guess."

She pretended to laugh and it sounded painful, "You offer to be my baby's daddy and then you say you meant it only as a friend! You want to help me raise a kid and you don't want to date me! I hate it! I hate being in love with you!"

Naruto started crying again, against his better judgement.

She smiled tightly, "Go home, Naruto."

* * *

Iruka didn't say anything when Naruto crashed back home and cried until his foster father forced him to drink three glasses of water to prevent dehydration.

Naruto didn't tell him what happened. He just wanted to cry.

"Movie marathon?" Iruka asked, his hand stroking through thick tuffs of blonde hair, catching on tangles and tugging them free in what would have been a painful sensation if Naruto felt emotionally strong enough to whine about it.

"Lord of The Rings?" He asked, peering up into loving brown eyes.

"Anything for you, kiddo," Iruka gave him one last pet before getting up and depriving Naruto of his pillow.

"I'm old enough to drink," Naruto whined, "Doesn't that make you not be able to call me kiddo?"

"Nope. You're my kiddo," Iruka put in their Fellowship of the Ring in the TV, fiddled with the volume and started the movie. He then bustled around in the kitchen, making a bowl of popcorn. Iruka brought it over after melting a cup of butter and pouring it generously over the popped kernels.

Naruto, ever the giver, sat up for a brief second so Iruka could reclaim his seat, but then reclaimed his lap. No popcorn was going there.

Sighing, Iruka placed the popcorn on the blonde's back, between his shoulder blades.

"Now I can't eat it," he protested half-heartedly.

"You brought this upon yourself."

"Your lap is comfy. That's not my fault. That's yours. You're all squishy."

"I'll have you know I started going to the gym! I had to do something with that six month gym membership you left me!" Iruka looked fairly affronted.

Naruto was nearly 100% sure he fell asleep before Gandalf died but after the cave troll. Iruka must've moved him at some point because he found a suspicious butter stain on his shirt the next morning that his adoptive father denied making.

Pancakes were breakfast and Iruka even promised ramen for lunch.

Naruto should be beaming.

Why couldn't he bring himself to be happy? What the hell. He had never had so many problems before and it felt like his life had been nuked over the course of the past week and now it was nothing but a smoking crater.

"Naruto? Your phone's buzzing," Iruka said, distracting Naruto from sulking and generally eating his pancakes like they were made of evil.

"I don't want to check it," Naruto sulked, "because if Sakura called, I'll feel awful and I'll cry. And if she didn't call, I'll feel awful and I'll cry. So I'm not touching it."

"Then I will," Iruka rolled his eyes, plucking the device off the counter. The brunet hummed, rubbing the scar above his nose absentmindedly as his thumb tapped buttons, "What's your password?"

Naruto mumbled through a mouthful of pancake and syrup, "Birthday. 1010."

"Should've known," Iruka hummed a little to himself, before saying softly, "Well, there's not much. Someone named Kiba sent you a text message. Want me to check it?"

Naruto winced. That sounded like Sakura *had* called, and therefore Iruka wasn't handing his phone back on purpose. Still, better not knowing, he thought, before realizing, why had Kiba texted him?

"Yeah, go ahead. Kiba's the roommate," Naruto speared a large syrupy cut of pancake, "Probably asking about rent or dishes or something."

"Actually, he says your boyfriend showed up looking for you."

Naruto paused abruptly, pancake half way into his mouth. He lowered it slowly, not breaking eye contact.

"When you say my boyfriend, you don't mean... Sasuke?"

"Kiba said, quote, 'Sex on legs Karin and your asshole boytoy showed up today. Lol," Iruka raised a judgmental eyebrow, "I need to see those nudes, dude. Bf wants you for something, btw. Idk. Probs your dick. When you coming back?' unquote."

Naruto turned very very red, "I'm... so sorry you had to read that."

"I expected as much, actually," Iruka sighed, "As you pointed out last night, you're old enough to drink. You've been the age of legal consent for four years. I expect you to have a sex life."

"You're not supposed to acknowledge that! It doesn't exist!" He blushed, hiding his face in his hands.

"Do you have a hang up with sex? Should I be concerned?" Iruka actually sounded teacherly which was horrifying.

Naruto squeaked, "No! Iruka, stop it!"

"You can discuss your sex life with me," he pushed on, "In fact you should. We should discuss these things openly so you become more comfortable with it. Sex isn't something to be ashamed of. If you and this boyfriend of yours, Sasuke, are having sex, then you can discuss it with me."

"We are not discussing the sex I'm not having with Sasuke who is not my boyfriend!" Naruto protested, peeking through his fingers to glare at the brunet.

Iruka was laughing a little to himself, "You're a twenty one year old boy. Excuse me if I'm skeptical."

Naruto glared even harder than usual, "I'm not lying! Oh my gosh, Iruka! I haven't had sex. Not since Hinata."

Iruka's eyebrows raised slowly, before he mumbled, "I'm getting laid more than my very attractive, twenty-one year old son."

"Gah!" Naruto covered his ears, "Lalalalala! You said nothing!"

"I think someone has a hang-up with sex," Iruka sighed, hands going to his hips, Naruto's phone slid into his pocket.

"I think someone has a hang-up with sex," the blonde mocked in a falsetto, "I don't do one night stands and I had a bunch of failed relationships after Hinata that never got that far. One time I even got as far as sucking a guy off before he decided he was done with his 'gay phase'. My abstinence isn't from a lack of trying!"

That was more information about his dating history than he'd ever wanted to reveal but it seemed to appease Iruka for the time being-- Gosh, was there any blood in his body not super-heating his face and turning him maroon?!

"You always had that problem with Hinata. She had the sex-drive of a dead muskrat," Iruka recalled, and Naruto wondered in horror how his foster father even knew that.

Hinata had been one of his students long long ago, before he returned back to the college to get his masters in teaching education. Just knowing his supposedly innocent foster father could think such things about Hinata and him wasn't just terrifying, it should be illegal.

"She said it was great during but afterwards she felt, quote, dirty, and that was usually it," Naruto groaned, realizing there was no turning back now, that this conversation was indeed happening, "Probably because she knew the whole time she should've been saving herself for her husband like her parents thought she was."

"I can't believe she dated you while knowing she was going to be engaged," Iruka tutted in disapproval, "You thought she was going to be the one."

"Don't remind me," he grumbled.

"I always thought she was too, uh, unassertive for you. She let you talk her into all your stupid stunts and until she mentioned the whole engagement, I thought she would jump off a bridge if you asked her to, which is completely unhealthy," The brunet shook his head slowly.

"She, uh, actually did," Naruto scratched his cheek, "I convinced her to go bungee jumping with me back in senior year."

"You're kidding!"

"No lie! She jumped, too, albeit she was terrified. She threatened to pee on me if I made her do it again," he remembered it vividly.

Sakura had gone first, and she had laughed the entire time. Once she rejoined them, a mess with sticky wet cotton-candy blue hair and dripping from river water, she helped Naruto talk Hinata into jumping.

It hadn't gone perfectly, but it had been hilariously fun. Most memorably, Hinata's bra had snapped in the front halfway down from how the harness had put strain on it and no one had a spare or even a way to fix it, so she'd ditched it entirely. He'd been drooling over the outline of her nipples through her shirt the rest of the day.

"Only you, Naruto," Iruka rubbed his forehead in mock disapproval.

"I'm damn special and we both know it," Naruto grinned, finishing his pancakes and moving to rinse his plate.

Iruka watched him closely, voicing his thoughts, "Why aren't you together with Sasuke? Your crush on him is as obvious as a ton of elephant dung in the Buckingham Palace."

"First, that's a bizarre metaphor! Second, I don't even know if he likes guys. I chat with him a bit but mostly I do a lot of staring. He told me he doesn't hook up, but I think he thought I wanted to sleep with him, not date him," Naruto snorted sheepishly.

"You want both."

"Most preferably. I'd take dating without the sex if need be. I'd take a lot of things, actually," Naruto smiled, remembering Sasuke's precious little smile and he felt a burning to cause it to happen again, "I want to know everything about him. I want to make him happy, no matter what."

"Kiddo... You barely know him. It's a bit early for that," Iruka sounded concerned. Glancing over, Naruto was surprised to find worried brown eyes looking back. Not worried like, "wear a helmet, you dunce!" but like, "you're in the hospital and you have to get a life threatening surgery if you're to make it."

"So you're okay with the thought of me fucking him in the ass but not my having feelings for him?" The blonde accused, rather affronted. What, butt-fucking is good but liking a guy isn't?

"That isn't what I'd call feelings," Iruka answered gravely, serious as a heart attack, "I'd call that love, and you're a couple years too early for that."

...love?

Naruto just stared, mumbling, "No one falls in love with a stranger."

"You've known him for almost a month. Before you even knew him, you used a photo of him to calm your anxiety. Lets face it, he's no stranger to you now. You could call him a friend, even," his foster father put his hands on Naruto's shoulders, looking him straight in the eye, "If you're putting his happiness before your own, that's love. Like you driving up here for Sakura, you are sacrificing what you want because you love your best friend. You said it yourself, you want to make him happy, no matter what."

Naruto leaned back against the oven before his knees could buckle, his heart racing, "I don't love Sasuke."

Iruka rubbed his adopted son's shoulder with tiny comforting circles, "I don't blame you for not noticing, but I don't like that you feel so intensely for a person who probably does not feel the same, but I can't do anything to change it."

"...If Sasuke wants me for something, I should go back to Santa Barbara," Naruto said slowly, trying to ignore the unwanted epiphany, "Sakura did tell me to go home. I was planning on leaving tomorrow but..."

"I can tell Sakura you left if need be," Iruka offered.

Naruto took him up on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The notes are at the end to avoid spoilers, sorry! The soap opera continues. I remember when I was writing this, I looked up panic attacks and pregnancy enough that I felt like if my parents looked at my search history, they'd ask me odd questions. I promise that Sakura gets better, really. This chapter she is as much of a mess as Naruto is, except that he's actually taking it better than she is, mostly because he's not entirely involved. 
> 
> The exploded worm experiment is an actual experiment done at the local university near my house. I didn't actually participate, but apparently, if you give worms too much caffeine, they explode...? My older sister is the one who relied that knowledge to me when I was spamming headcanons off her about Orochimaru as an evil biology teacher.
> 
> Also, if you don't believe parents can be like Iruka, half of his speech at the end is directly things I've had discussions about with my parents. Parents like that exist. I swear they do, those are my type of parents.


	4. Depth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still in process of adapting to college life. Thanks for understanding about the sporadic updates.

Kiba welcomed him back with a bear hug.  He smelt like sex, and so Naruto figured it was a _thanks-for-letting-me-have-tons-of-uninterrupted-hot-sex-this-weekend_ hug.  He hugged him right back, because he was still a bit clingy and emotionally compromised.

Kiba bounced back inside the house, informed him, "Asshole asked for you.  Karin said he wanted you for something.  He didn't kneel down to talk to us plebeians, the giant bag of dicks.  A very, painfully attractive bag of dicks, but still a bag of dicks all the same."

"You sent a text.  Is there anyway to get ahold of him...?" Naruto followed him to the kitchen, and spotted the box of pizza.  He snagged a slice with extra sausage and ignored Kiba's token protests.

He took a smug bite, waggling his eyebrows at his enraged roommate.

"He told Karin to tell me to tell you that he'll be at the student union building half an hour after you get off work, and if you're interested, to meet up there," Kiba made a disgusted face, "Karin was completely into him.  It was almost sickening how much-- until she did this thing with his hair with his head all pulled back and, all of a sudden, I got why she's slobbering so bad.  A little bit of tongue and a glimpse of his belly button and I was like, my heterosexuality has been severely threatened because that was so fucking sexy, I considered asking for a threesome."

Naruto swallowed dryly, the scene embedding itself in his brain.

Sasuke, sullen, frustrated look in those dark eyes, his lower eyelid twitching just once.  Gorgeous Karin flirting with Kiba, until her eyes, dyed a crimson from the sunlight, snag on Sasuke and she just thinks that he can't sit there sulking.  So she'd push his bangs back, tugging his head back.  His shirt, tight for once, probably just tugged on at the last minute, rides up as he struggles a little against her, pout slipping off his mouth as he play-fought with her, forgetting his façade long enough to lose the frown.

A possessive streak Naruto didn't know he had reacted violently when the threesome comment actually registered in his head.  Kiba smelled like sex, yes, but he couldn't have possibly...?

"So how was your ménage à trois?" Naruto said lightly, trying not to growl in fear of himself.  He'd always been very easy going in relationships; he was not possessive and he even thought people flirting with his significant other was a compliment and never a threat.  Why did Sasuke make him react so enviously, so aggressively?

"A ménage à deux," Kiba grunted, "Your boytoy didn't stick around but Karin went for it.  She wanted to see you so she's in the bedroom still.  Something about a second set of photographs?  She said she'd be willing to pay."

Naruto felt the bubbling vile feelings vanish, and he grinned, "You dirty dog, Kibbles.  She's still here, a whole day later?"

"We did things other than fuck, but she's a crazy bitch in the sack.   She's fucking sexy, but..." Kiba made a face, "I'm not into it like her.  She's all sex and no strings attached and I don't think I can do that.  Like, if I saw her go to town on another guy after we'd been sleeping together for a while, I'd freak out.  I'm starting to think hot, pushy girls aren't my thing.  Maybe I should go for a shier girl next time, who wouldn't give a fuck if I got a little shy myself, and maybe I could spoil her a little and hold open doors for her, do romantic mushy bullshit--don't you think?"

For a long second, Naruto imagined Kiba with Hinata.  A cool guy, enough like Naruto to catch her eye but maybe different enough to convince her to stay, someone who could help her rebel but also could hold her gently instead of running her back into the arms of her parents.  He could push her to fighting back for herself.  Until he remembered how _happily married_ she was in China, Naruto desperately wanted his ex-girlfriend to date his roommate.  They'd be perfect for each other.

Naruto scratched the back of head, looking at the bedroom door, "It's hard to find a girl like that, but go for it!  They don't go out much at the places you'd think to hook up with a girl.  My ex-girlfriend was a bit shy, and she was great.  Thought we'd get married, even."

That caught Kiba's attention.  He regarded his roommate for a while, looking lost in a deep train of thought.

Coming out of nowhere, Kiba asked, "So why the bachelor life?  From what I've seen, even with your thing for that holier-than-thou dick, you're isolating yourself from starting anything new.  Weren't you all set to settle down before?  Weren't you happy with her?  Don't you want to feel that way again?"

Naruto thought of Sasuke, just the fleeting thought of his essence, and he blushed bright red.  It pinged in his head, _I really do love this guy._

Not like he had loved anyone else before, it wasn't nearly as deep or consuming.  But it was there.  New, fragile, hatching for a relationship that hadn't yet formed.

It would be so easy but so painful to kill it.  Not like his love for Sakura, which would never waver. Not like his love for Hinata, which had once been a burning wildfire and was now a tiny flickering candle.

"Now I do, but for a long time I didn't," The blonde shoved his hands into his pockets, reflecting, "I stopped trying, I guess.  I became more introverted and my people anxiety reared its ugly head.  I didn't let people in.  But I didn't even notice, until I saw Sasuke on my vacation trip I took to get away from everyone, how bad I had been.  I wouldn't get a roommate for the rest of college, I was lucky if I talked to anyone outside of Sakura, my teachers, and my foster father.  Relationships?  I tried but we rarely got past the third date.  A long string of the wrong people, I guess.  And then I took The Photo of the bastard, started opening up again, and the rest is history."

Kiba grinned, "You totally drove back here because I told you he wanted you."

Naruto jumped, swearing that he had a full body blush going on.

"Shut up!" He stammered defensively, "It could've been important.  He's never asked for me before."

"What happened with your best friend, by the way?  Did she abort it?" Kiba remembered.

"She told me to butt out," Naruto summarized, "because of a lot of reasons, I guess.  She told me to just go home."

"Sounds like she was looking out for you," Kiba had at some point remembered his pizza and stole a slice.  He ate it folded in half.

"How do you mean?"

"Well, she didn't want you bearing her burden, yeah?  Like, you wanted to basically replace her runaway boyfriend and you didn't give a shit what that'd do to you.  I thought for a second you were swooping in to be the rebound guy, but you're way too innocent to do that."

Naruto shook his head, staring at his scuffed sneakers, "I wanted to help her.  She saved my life a million times over.  I would've been dead or in jail if not for her.  I think the least I could do is make sure she doesn't wear herself into the ground being a single mother."

"See?  Completely innocent-- oh, look at sleeping beauty!" Kiba cheered, watching Karin, completely naked sans one of Kiba's shirts, made her half-asleep pilgrimage to the kitchen to join them.

She greeted Kiba with a kiss on the cheek, "Thanks for the fun, baby."

Kiba touched the spot her lips met his skin and ignored how she greeted Naruto the same way.

Naruto grinned at her, "Kibbles said you wanted to talk business?"

Karin yawned, sitting her naked butt on the counter, "I loved those nudes.  My tats looked fabulous and you, good sir, are a genius with a camera.  I might've bragged a bit too much, actually--anyway, I would talk business but I promised Sasuke he got first dibs on you.  In fact, don't do my request if you don't do his.  He'll destroy me!  And you better not tell him I stuck around to bother you!"

"If not to talk business, then...?" Naruto raised a dark blonde eyebrow, crossing his arms.

The redhead blushed, "Um, he wants you for stuff you're grossly overqualified for and I just know he's not going to pleasant tomorrow so I'm totally apologizing in advance for him.  The best way I can call it is that he's camera shy."

"He wants me for a job?" Naruto tried to keep the disappointment (or the tiny, flickering hope that he might be able to photograph Sasuke) out of his voice.

It must not've worked because Karin cooed gently, "He doesn't tolerate anyone with a camera anywhere near him.  He made all of us sign legal documents stating that we'll be fined $500 if we so much as threaten to photograph him.  Just...take it as a sign that he trusts you!"

Damn, he really did mean the suing thing.  And there was camera shy, and cameraphobic, and Sasuke?  He really was crazy cameraphobic.

But why?  Why go so far to keep himself from being captured on film?  And why, if he was so intense about it, didn't he stick Naruto with a bunch of legal bullshit and leave him to rot in it for having taken The Photo?

"Pre-apology accepted," Naruto rubbed his forehead, "But, do you know why...?

"Why the camera shyness?  He doesn't talk about it.  Sasuke's no recluse but there's something that he's hiding tightly.  I have no idea what, so don't ask.  I think Juugo knows, though."

Karin didn't stay much longer.  She had done what she's come for, and so she left Naruto and Kiba to stew in their thoughts.

* * *

As promised, a half hour after 10:30, a very precise 11 o'clock, Sasuke had entered Naruto's radar and was looking around through the tables for a spot of blonde.  Making it easy for him, Naruto stood up and waved.

Sasuke didn't wave back, which made the blonde grumble a little, but he couldn't stay too mad.  Not even the part of him complaining about the fact Sasuke hadn't just wanted to see him and instead had a job was quieted by the sight of a very real, very much approaching, Sasuke.

It occurred to Naruto that he didn't know Sasuke's last name.  Secretive, highly camera shy, definitely hiding something.  He couldn't love someone easy to deal with?

The fashion major sat down next to him, close enough to speak in a quiet murmur and not be overheard, which was far too close to him, in Naruto's opinion.  He could lean closer a half foot and land himself a comfortable armful of stoic raven haired college student.  Alternatively, Sasuke could lean closer and practically be in his lap.  The horrible fantasies--that suddenly made his skin prickle with unwanted heat-- sprung alive from the gutters of his mind.  Hands curling around and stroking, lips opening and tongues plundering--

"You look sick," Sasuke raised an elegant eyebrow.

Naruto thought of the grossest thing he could think of: stuffed sheep's stomach with pickled herring surprise, courtesy of one of Iruka's relative's unfortunate dinner parties.  He'd been vomiting sheep stomach for a whole day after.  Aha, boner killer.

"I'm fine," he chuckled, sneaking a peak at Sasuke, who had completely lost a look of interest and was pointedly avoiding eye contact, "So, uh, you asked for me?"

The raven's lips tilted up into a tiny, condescending, _dickish, **cute**_ smirk, "Don't get ahead of yourself.  I don't want a date."

Naruto ground his teeth, suddenly remembering the _"also I really want to beat him up,"_ clause that came with the _"I completely adore him, he is the most beautiful person I've ever seen, let me love him,"_ feelings he had been focusing on.

"Didn't even cross my mind!" Naruto lied, "Now really, I don't have to be here..."

Sasuke looked around, before leaning closer.  Their shoulders met, Sasuke's a fair shade colder than his own but soft, good, tempting him to pull more of him closer because they fit.  With his face flushed a heady pink made vibrant from the paleness of his milk pale skin (it allowed Naruto to truly notice that Sasuke was horribly embarrassed to a humorous extent), the raven said softly, not quite into his ear, "My brother's doing this charity thing.  He needs a photographer.  I trust you know how to press a button."

"Charity event?" Naruto ignored the insult in favor of getting more information.

"Charity event.  An auction raising money for hospitals in third world countries.  He needs someone trustworthy to photograph all the items so he can make a catalog.  I--" Sasuke turned his head away, his voice dropping to a growl as he flustered yet more, "--I wanted someone _good_ to take photos."

Naruto blinked.  There, a compliment, out in the open, as much blushing as it took for his muse to let his pride down and show his true feelings.

Sasuke thought Naruto was good at photography. 

Most importantly, he admitted it!  Without being in severe pain!  Naruto was sure he'd never heard Sasuke compliment anyone before.

And he was so flustered, so horribly pissed off, that Naruto wanted to pull him onto his lap and kiss him until he didn't know how to be ashamed.

"Nice, but anyone with half a good head can do that sort of thing.  I wouldn't do that for any amount of money in the world," Naruto tortured him a little, enjoying as the red was promptly changed from embarrassed red to fucking furious crimson, complete with a glare hard enough to cut diamond.

Sasuke grabbed the front of Naruto's orange hoodie and, somehow while still keeping his voice level, deep and furious, sounding utterly disgusted, "How. dare. you.  I arranged time out of my schedule to come to find _you_ to ask a favor of--out of all the people I know that can press a button and aim a lens in the forward direction, because like _you_  said, anyone with half a brain can do that.  You're being unreasonable."

A thrill went up the photographer's spine seeing Sasuke so close. He had a mole on his neck, a tiny one, just under his jawbone.  Naruto wanted to kiss it.  After he punched him, of course.

"I said you couldn't pay me enough money," Naruto grinned slowly, revealing rows of pearly whites, knowing exactly what he wanted, "not that I wouldn't do it.  And I will, but only if I get a deal."

Boring photography job could buy him some Sasuke-time if he was bold and went for it.

"What, besides money, do I even have to offer that you could want?" Sasuke said, in his deadpan, furious tenor.

"Humor me and listen then!" The blonde smiled through gritted teeth, an unconscious habit he did when he was frustrated with someone and didn't want to show it.

Sasuke, slowly having lost his red hue, raised a single black eyebrow incredulously, "...Humor you?  Fine."

Wait, fine?  Naruto blinked, his jaw loosening up.  Had Sasuke just--

"I don't intend to humor you forever--hurry up," the dark haired man sniped.

"One date.  I'll do your charity thing if you go on one date with me," Naruto beamed, a real, winning, relaxed smile from ear to ear, leaning closer, minimizing the space between them.  Their shoulders and chests were almost touching, and blue eyes met black, "And nothing has to go farther than you want, if you're worried about that.  I won't hurt you."

"How can I trust your word?" Sasuke snapped, scooting away from him.  The scooting was an unplanned move that landed their legs tangled together with an entire seat between them.  The raven haired man removed his black converse covered foot from between Naruto's knees in slow motion, daring him to speak of it and die.

He didn't dare.

"Eh?  I'm an honest guy!" Naruto pouted.  He didn't lie either!

"No..." Sasuke looked back at their position and seemed to make some peace in his head, "I guess I can write you up a legal binding contract of that which you can sign. I feel better knowing that I can persecute dumbasses at anytime I feel like."

Then suddenly Sasuke became a lot easier to read.  The legal threats were insurance.  He felt insecure and he wanted a quick way to shut things down and retreat back into his shell if he got stuck in a situation he couldn't trust some unreliable element.  In this case, any way he could escape Naruto without needing some other form of control.

"No.  You have to trust me, or I won't do it," Naruto shook his head, grabbing Sasuke's hands in his own, entwining motionless fingers between his own warm ones, "I won't hurt you.  It's just a date."

"It's not just a date."

"Why not, because I'm a guy?" Naruto clenched his fingers around his muse's, not letting go.

"Because I've never been on a date before," Sasuke retorted, pulling his hands back towards him, forcing Naruto to let go or face getting dragged over a seat.

"How did _you_ get through high school without dating _anyone_?  Let alone three years of college?" Naruto leaned back, dumbstruck, but firm on not letting go of the tips of Sasuke's fingers.

"Rejections, blackmail, reporting blackmailers, excessive use of a paper-shredder, giving my valentines as donations for honor society," Sasuke counted off in his head, "I kicked three guys's and another forty six girls's asses when they didn't realize no means no.  Two restraining orders and one arrest.  I had a very successful track record."

Naruto just sort of blinked, "You're proud of being a prude."

"It's hard work," he snorted, flicking a strand of hair out of his eyes.

The blonde laughed, wiping at the water collecting in his eyes.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Sasuke's triumphant smirk soften into a real smile.  It stretched his eyelids in the best way, his eyes somehow softer, his entire face an advertisement for happiness.

Naruto could just stare and engrave it into his long term memory.  He was so beautiful.  It was so much better than the fleeting thing he'd seen earlier.

It was stuck on Sasuke's face while Naruto eased the laughter from his throat, then it slowly changed into his normal, indifferent expression.

"You are amazing, you know," Naruto informed him, grinning, "You contradict yourself."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "You're a dumbass.  And a stalker."

"You're also kind of a huge dick," the blonde grumbled, scrunching up his nose.

Sasuke leaned over and poked him, right where it hurt, "I try."

"You shouldn't try," Naruto whined, holding his abused side.

"How else do I keep away creeps like you asking for dates?"

"Apparently, restraining orders," Naruto jibbed before realizing, "--Hey!  I'm not a creep!  I'm asking for a legitimate compromise.  After I do your charity thing, one date!  I'm working essentially for free.  It's a good deal.  I'll try to make it the best first date ever!"

Time with Sasuke was priceless.  As rude and generally unpleasant as he could be, underneath it all Naruto could see the affection that they both shared.  Maybe Sasuke didn't love Naruto like he loved him, but Suigetsu had been right, Sasuke liked him.

Sasuke licked his bottom lip in such a manner that it must've been subconscious, "You can come with me for the charity shit on Friday.  My brother won't be in the state until Thursday.  And so you can do Karin's shit if you want.  I know she stayed with your roommate to harass you before I did."

Ah, right, Karin's favor.

"She actually stayed with my roommate to apologize for your dickish behavior," Naruto told him, "So I don't actually know what she wants."

"Same as me.  She wants you to aim a lens and press a button," the raven shook his head, "Needless to say, her request is probably more interesting and involves a lot more bare skin."

More nudes?  Naruto wondered in only a mild curiosity.

"Number," he demanded, holding out his phone.

"You... Fine, it's (805)295-3278.  Yours?"

"(916)026-8319," Naruto paused, "Uh, it's Sacramento area code, though, so phone calls will all be long distance, I think.  Texts are fine though."

"You lived in Sacramento."

It was not a question, but he answered it anyway, "I went back up there this weekend.  To see my friend and my foster father.  If you were wondering why you didn't see me around on Friday."

Sasuke nodded, "I did notice--I was, in fact, looking for you.  I figured you'd gone and gotten a life right when it would be most inconvenient purely to spite me."

"The world doesn't revolve around you," Naruto said, thinking to himself that if only he'd stayed-- he'd what?  Avoid getting hurt by Sakura, who was still leaving phone messages that he wasn't checking? Miss out on spending some time with Iruka?  Going home hadn't been something he'd handled well but it had been something he'd needed.

"The world doesn't revolve around me, yes, but the most important thing in my life will always be myself," Sasuke picked at his fingernails, speaking in a dreamy sort of tone, "If I spent my time worrying about others more than myself, I would cease to be around to worry about them.  I think by caring for yourself, you reduce the burden you are on others."

Naruto said without thinking, "That seems really lonely."

Sasuke looked at him, and smirked, "I also think the world is full of fools like you so we'll never have to be alone."

"You find a way to insult me in everything," Naruto's eyebrow twitched, "You're such a bastard."

"Yet you want to date me.  What does that say about you?" The smirk grew.

"You agreed to date me, so that means you're going on a date with someone you think is..." Naruto's mouth had already fumbled and he couldn't save it, "Fuck!"

Sasuke's shoulders shook with silent laughter at Naruto's expense.  He almost smiled again, and then his dark eyes swept over his phone and any visible amusement died.  Grabbing his bag and leaning over the seat between them, Sasuke left an Eskimo kiss on the blonde's whiskered cheek, before hopping up and walking towards the door.

"Wha--?  Wait--!  Where're you going?" Naruto chased after him.

"Class.  That thing I have.  Remember?  I have to finish sewing the Harry Potter costumes before the weekend," Sasuke kept his pace always a step ahead of Naruto's, keeping him in the lead. His ears were a tinge red and it was adorable.  It hadn't even been a real kiss, just a pressing of a nose to a cheek, and he went red over it.

Sasuke'd be one giant tomato if Naruto went so far as to kiss him if an innocent Eskimo kiss made him blush up to his ears.  Maybe the embarrassment wasn't the act itself, but the supposed meaning behind it.  A nose to the cheek showed nothing particularly romantic and certainly it wasn't a usual gesture to see, so it was a blotched attempt to act affectionate, to show some care, and bringing it up would only embarrass the poor college student more that he had no idea how to act.

It was ridiculously cute.

Naruto held his cheek and smiled in that hopelessly dopey lovey-dovey way that he _knew_ made him look like a brainless orangutan.

"I'm Eskimo kissing him on Friday.  He'll turn into a flustered puddle of goo," he cackled to himself, bursting with happiness at the seams.

* * *

Sending Sasuke little texts was the best thing he'd ever done and it never ceased to entertain him, the entirety of the two days he sent them whenever: at work, after work, after dinner.  It was Wednesday, and he was still sending silly things that he stressed out far too much over.

Realizing he might as well have joined the selfie Olympics with how he was adjusting his light source and his phone and the mirror and etc in hopes of getting an effortless looking photo of him and his overly large bowl of the good brand instant ramen, Naruto gave up on including himself in the photo.  He snapped a good shot of the ramen and slapped himself in the forehead.

What was he even doing?

Sasuke rarely responded and even then it was usually "Shut up or I'm reconsidering our deal," which Naruto didn't even want to mess with.  He didn't want pictures of his lunch!  He probably didn't want much at all.

Naruto looked at the symbol in the corner.  24 unread messages, 7 voicemails, 15 missed calls.  A genius could guess who they were from.

He took a deep breath, easing the panic in his chest.  He shouldn't be avoiding her in the first place, Naruto reminded himself, when he had been the one who'd reacted badly.  She should be the one hurt.   _She was the one hurt._

Instead of typing in Sasuke's now familiar (805)295-3278, he pressed S once for Sakura's speed dial, and there, her number popped up to the address bar.

He edited his original text to make it less flirty (Sasuke was either burning up or not noticing the come-ons which Naturo personally thought was hilarious) and hovered his thumb over the send button.

Gosh!  She was his best friend, not an alligator!

He wrote in an added, "I'm so sorry," to the end and pressed the send button in a soon vanished moment of self-confidence.

Immediately his mind shrieked.  No, no, no!  He was going to fuck everything up and lose Sakura forever and he'd die or kill himself he couldn't hurt his best friend she waseverything _shewasbeautifuland **hedidn'tdeserveher--**_

He took a deep breath, shutting his eyes.

His phone buzzed.

He wasn't sure if he wanted to look.

Opening one eye, he peered down at the screen.

**From: _Sasuke_**

Naruto opened both his eyes.  He opened the text, just staring at it.

"I know you're not busy, loser, so want to get dinner?" He read aloud, stunned.

Naruto put his phone down, and slurped up his ramen noodles.

Was that a date? Was it just dinner? Why did Sasuke want to spend time with him so suddenly?

What should he even say?

Naruto spent his entire lunch time contemplating those thoughts and confusing himself even further.  Finally he slammed his palms down on his table and yelled, "I'm eating dinner with Sasuke!  Fuck yes!"

Grabbing his poor abused cell, he replied with a speedy, _"luv 2!"_ then a  _"when/where?"_ and giggled horribly to himself.

A buzz. _"Somewhere disgustingly cheap because I'm poor and you are destroying my phone bill.  Stop."_

Naruto pouted a little.  He thought of all the food joints he knew of that were both cheap and classy and he frowned even deeper than before.  He had no idea where to take someone.

He could ask Kiba-- who'd known about the collegian little bar where he'd met Suigetsu and Karin in so long ago.  Funny that so long ago was probably about a month and a half.

Which meant, Naruto thought in horrified terror, that summer was almost over.  It would be fall soon.

He couldn't campus stalk Sasuke anymore coming mid-August and it was already July!  July 23!!  His happy days were almost over!

Typing in a reply he spent about five minutes too long considering, Naruto turned his head back to the stress of restaurants.  Did he even know of anywhere good AND cheap?  A Chinese place?  A pizza place?  Agh!  If he couldn't even think of a restaurant for a stupid little non-romantic outing, how was he gonna make good on his _best-first-date-ever_ promise?

Naruto pulled at his hair and sniffed over-dramatically, "I need help!  I need Kiba!"

Kiba, unlike Naruto who worked early shifts and spent most of his day doing whatever struck his fancy from 12 to 7, actually went to work at normal hours.  At 9 or so, Naruto didn't really care enough to know specifics, Kiba left for his job at the animal shelter and stayed until 5, when he returned home.  Sometimes Kiba frequented the University because his flavor of the month (a springy blonde named Ino Yamanaka who he'd been on and off with since the bar; they had been off for a while and so Karin) took summer classes.

So, Naruto grouched to himself about difficult roommates and drove himself to the remote place.

Sasuke was worth the gas.

The animal shelter looked a bit run down with chipped paint and water stains and sad bushes out front but Naruto spotted Kiba's beat-up Hyundai Santa Fe SUV so it was indeed the right place.  Huh.  He'd imagined it a lot whiter and cleaner.

Parking right next to his friend's car, he laughed idly to himself and thought about turning around and heading home.  Bothering Kiba at work?  What was he thinking!  Naruto shook his head.  No one would care.  _No one would care, take deep breaths, you'll see Kiba soon enough._

Pulling at the door handle, Naruto tried to enter the place.

It didn't budge.  Was it locked?

He tried again--

Naruto frowned, before noticing the cracked and peeling sticker informing him that it was a push door. Oh.  Oh no.  He flustered, tempted to turn 180, run back to his car, and cry.

He didn't.  He pushed the poorly labeled door and glared at the receptionist, who didn't seem to have noticed him and was reading the newspaper through a pair of dark sunglasses, indoors.

Shuffling and barking and all that beautiful cacophony echoed throughout the building.  Naruto cleared his throat a little, hoping the receptionist would notice.

The receptionist turned a page with such a mild disinterested look Naruto swore the man had it out for him.

"Hey?  I'm, uh, here to see--" The blonde began, before the receptionist actually looked up at him and smirked in such an awful manner Naruto thought he'd die.

"Kiba is busy with the fox.  Go help him," the sunglasses wearing man flipped another page.

Naruto didn't bother to stick around any longer.  He walked down the back hallways and sniffed, wanting to run back to the receptionist and punch him a little.  What a jerk, was that customer service? Naruto had social anxiety and he was nicer than that at work!  A little punch couldn't hurt... but he was a reformed person, so instead he focused that energy on finding Kiba.

In the same area as the dog kennels, Kiba was wrangling with an orange fireball in a wire cage.  Naruto walked over, smirking at the curses Kiba was emitting.

"I know you're tame, you little orange shit!  What does the fox say, my ass, you are no angel, you're a demon beast with rows of fucking evil teeth!" Kiba hissed right back at the fox, who had recently bitten him on his gloved hand with no signs of letting go.

Naruto laughed, "I see you're being the epitome of kind towards all animals, big or small."

"Quiet, Barbie!  This fox is evil!"

"...Barbie?" Naruto asked.

Kiba looked up from the fox, "Oh shit! Naruto!  I thought you were Ino!  You never visit me at work-- Akamaru's okay, yeah?" the fox spotted its chance and bite down hard on Kiba's plastic covered wrist, "--shit, bugger!"

"Do I sound like a girl-- wait no, don't answer that.  And Akamaru is a-okay; I was going to take him on a walk later.  In fact I swear he's getting bigger, which scares me," Naruto scratched the back of his head, "Want some help?"

"Grab a pair of gloves from the counter.  This little guy needs his check-up, and he won't come out of his cage!" Kiba spat, removing the orange fox from his arm, looking thoroughly disgruntled.

Naruto slid the gloves on and snapped them so they lay about as comfortably on his skin as he could get them.

"What's with the fox anyway?" He asked, coming back over and kneeling down next to Kiba.

Kiba grabbed the thing's front paws and was dragging it out that way, but it kept struggling and the brunette wouldn't risk injuring it, so he let go every time it got too wild.

Grunting, Kiba gave up for the second, "A pet of this high uppity up richie.  When he kicked the bucket, the thing was supposed to go to his nephew.  Turns out his nephew is also dead.  There's other remaining family but no one knows where they are and there's a whole pile of legal pussyfooting just for one fox, so the govies gave him here.  The old guy didn't live in this area, was some sort of recluse, but this was the closest animal shelter anyway."

"And it's a big fuss," Naruto grinned fondly, leaning down and wagging his finger against the bars.  The fox bristled at him, and Naruto noticed its behind, "What's up with its tails?"

"Mutation.  It looks like he has three, but they're all off spurts from the same bone.  I wondered that when I first saw him too," Kiba pointed out, showing him the stump.

Which brought them to, "How are we gonna get him out of the cage?"

"You can try your luck, Naruto.  He hates me!" Kiba backed away and motioned for the blonde to take his place.

Naruto rolled his eyes and grappled for the fox's torso, getting swiped and bit at the whole time.  The pain was nothing compared to some of his fights when he'd been younger, and he didn't even flinch at it.  He managed to get the hissy thing around the middle after about five minutes of being bitten and scratched to an inch of his life, and he tugged it, making angry little noises and ripping up the padded floor as it dug its claws in, right out of its cage.

He held out his orange prize at arms length, hissing right back at it.

"You're insanely good with that thing," Kiba said in an admiring tone, "Look at him, all docile in your hands!"

Naruto watched as the fox struggled and almost took his eye out with its claws, muttering, "Docile..."

"Let's get Kurama here up on the table and we'll feel him up and make sure he checks out.  Maybe he'll get adopted soon, he's sort of pretty," Kiba clapped, acting like he hadn't been cursing the fox just ten minutes before every curse word imaginable.

Naruto placed and held him on the table, forcing him to stay still for the examination.  Once Kiba gave him a thumbs up, he stroked him a little between his large ears.

The fox made a content sound and tipped a bit, curling into Naruto's sweater.

"I don't envy anyone who gets this bipolar mess," Naruto joked, continuing to hold the now happy and relaxed fox in his arms.

Kiba opened the cage for him and the blonde placed the fox back inside, against the fox's horrified protests.

"Doesn't like being in the cage, doesn't like leaving the cage!  Man, I'll be glad if you get your ass out of here!" Kiba accused, glaring at the orange furball.

Speaking of leaving...

Naruto mentioned idly as he shucked his gloves in the trash, "I need your help, Kiba."

"You wouldn't come here otherwise," Kiba sniffed, standing up.

"Hey, remember the fox!"

"Fine.  What do you need?"

Scratching his cheek sheepishly, Naruto begged, "Know any really good, really cheap restaurants?  I might have a not-date with Sasuke and I don't want to take him to like, Taco Bell."

Kiba held up his fist for a bump, "Score!  Get some of that hot ass or I will seriously arrange a threesome in which whipped cream and gummy worms are used, probably on our nice couch."

"Not the nice couch," Naruto glared, rubbing at one of the bites lovingly given to him by the fox, "And I need places for romancing.  Go, impress me with your vast knowledge."

"I'm afraid that really good never goes with really cheap," Kiba shook his head, "If you're near the beach area, then The Spot's okay.  Um, you want a romantic place I'm guessing?"

"A private place," Naruto corrected, because it wasn't a date yet.  It was getting dinner together.

"Mexican good to you?  Burgers? Thai?" Kiba shook his head, walking around the kennel and checking every bowl for enough water or food.

"I--" It occurred to Naruto that he had Sasuke's number, and that it would be easy as pie to just ask him.

He pulled out his phone and did so, ignoring the 1 New Message plaguing him from Sakura.  He knew he should just open it, rip off the bandage.

Kiba cleared his throat, "You look like someone died."

"Sakura texted me," he bemoaned, "and I have to check her messages now.  I sent her a text earlier today because I thought I was ready and I'm not."

"Do it.  Be a man.  She cares, bro, she doesn't want to hurt you."

Naruto shot Kiba a panicky look.

"Be a man.  Sasuke doesn't want to deal with a wimpy ass _baby_ on your _not-a-date_ dinner date!"

So he did.  He opened her text.

_"lol ramen as usual u ramenlord jk ilu! <3 u should txt me moar bc i miss u im not mad but we ned 2 talk i made my decision & i want u thar 4 me besties 5ever ok? remember i <3 u always im sorry"_

No, no, no, she couldn't just act like he did nothing wrong!  She couldn't toss in a " _we-need-to-talk_ " like she was willing to put up with him butting in and acting in such a horrible way!  She was supposed to be furious!  She was supposed to tell him how he fucked everything up, how he ruined their friendship, how much of a dick he was for ignoring her and just leaving!  He broke her heart, didn't he?!

He knew he had started crying and that Kiba was panicking and contemplating running away.  He just watched the fat tears drip onto the screen, as his shoulders shook and he sniffled like a baby, bottom lip wobbling with every shaky inhale.

"S-Sakura--!" He sobbed a bit, grabbing onto Kiba and hugging him awkwardly.  There was nothing much he could do, per say, than just latch on and cry.  Kiba was not Iruka but he was good enough for hugging while crying.

His roommate patted him on the back stiffly.

"I'm so upset!" Naruto cried into Kiba's jacket, brown dog smelling fabric next to his nose.

"There, there!"

"She's so nice!  She should hate me!  I ruined everything!  She wants to _talk_ and I don't want to talk!"

"Hush, you're scaring the dogs--!"

He bawled, feeling like the entire world was shattering around him, "I can't take it if she says she loves me again--!"

"Stop it!  Whatever she is to you, she's your good friend first.  Just-- tell her you'll talk later!  Don't you have a date tonight?"

"Not a date," Naruto protested weakly, his tears leaving a wet spot on Kiba's hoodie.

"You have a not-date with Sasuke later!  Get your stupid ass together!" His roommate patted him hard on the back.

Naruto rubbed at his eyes, "Right. Restaurant.  Right..."

Kiba took a relieved breath and shoved the blonde away from him, "Go to Ichiraku's.  They have killer ramen and a passable veggie stir-fry.  Don't try the sushi.  It's shit."

"Why'd you decide so easily now?" Naruto accused, rubbing at his nose.

"Because you need some cheering up and you love ramen, so take him out for ramen.  It's not too badly priced if you stay away from the sushi, but you'll probably end up having to pay for him," Kiba ruffled his hair and grinned, "I think Sasuke will cheer you right up.  Stop freaking out over Sakura!"

Easier said than done, but Naruto nodded anyway.

* * *

Naruto picked Sasuke up in his suddenly very _orange_ car.  Smoothing out his clothes, which weren't even classy enough for smoothing, he arrived at Sasuke's dorm building precisely at five.  Sasuke looked very dejected on the steps outside his building.

Gathering up every bit of courage he had, Naruto greeted him with an Eskimo kiss to the cheek, and he watched as Sasuke colored a bright red, finally feeling like the world set itself to rights.

"Why're you outside?" Naruto said, leading his muse to his car.

"Karin, Juugo, and Suigetsu have all betrayed me.  They told me in no short terms that I must be outside of our dorm building with no exceptions and kicked me out, only allowed to return when they text.  I figured that meant even to grab my wallet, so I decided to make use of you."

Naruto pouted a bit, "I'm not a source of free food."

"I figured you wouldn't mind too much," he deadpanned, buckling himself into the car.

"You're lucky I like you," Naruto shook his head and started his vehicle.  It clunked to life in an embarrassingly slow manner, but instead of defending his automobile, he recalled that Sasuke had no money at the moment, and therefore no right to judge.

He got a bit lost looking for Ichiraku's, but he found it tucked away in a neighborhood he didn't frequent often before too long and Sasuke hadn't complained about the long drive.  They had chatted a bit, mostly Naruto talking about something while his muse stared out the window, but the blonde was sure Sasuke's mood hadn't soured when they pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant.

In fact, Sasuke looked a bit less irritable when they parked and he smirked a little as he said, "Their sushi is shit."

"It's also apparently expensive, so don't get any," Naruto grumbled, "I'm not paying for it."

"Fair.  You're getting the ramen," Sasuke advised, leading the way, very comfortable with himself.

"So Kiba advised," Naruto looked around at the tradition type of air the building had.  There was a main eatery, with tables, and a bar on one end of the place sectioned of with curtains that fell from the ceiling to about Naruto's chest.  Stools lined the counter and sometimes a customer's behind was visible.

Naruto wasn't sure what to do from there, whether to wait for a waitress or waiter to seat them or whatever.  Sasuke didn't wait for him to figure it out.  He made way for the bar, pushing the fabric out of the way and giving Naruto an angry sort of _come-hither_ look that sent tingles down his spine.

Naruto chased after him, taking a seat on one of the stools once he'd caught up.

"Welcome!" an older man, sort of chubby with an ugly but friendly face, called out.  He was making the ramen right on the other side of the bar.  Naruto watched, entranced.

"Two orders of miso ramen.  One with extra pork and an egg, with fish cakes on the side.  Make the other with just beef," Sasuke ordered for them both.  Naruto didn't question the order; he'd trust Sasuke.

"Coming right up," the chef said, turning around to prep the noodles.

Sasuke stayed silent for a pause, so Naruto began to talk to fill the awkward silence.

"So you've been locked out of your dorm all day?" He asked.  Sasuke didn't have a sunburn or anything of the sort, so maybe he'd been inside somewhere.  Oh, right, Sasuke was a busy munchkin and had classes and lab work and projects all going on.

"Yes," the raven replied drolly, "I think they're having an orgy or something.  Suigetsu's wanted Karin long enough."

It took Naruto a second to realize Sasuke was joking, and once he did, his entire heart filled with a horrible happiness that overtook his entire body.  How could someone be so...?  Naruto couldn't say perfect, because Sasuke left much to be desired in the ways of socializing and smiling a decent amount.  But perhaps to Naruto, even those things felt like they were perfect, because they were Sasuke things.

"Your dorm won't survive that.  I disinfected too many surfaces after Karin stayed over last weekend," Naruto grinned, poking at Sasuke's cheek.

"Juugo likes to break objects," Sasuke agreed, "Not all went bad however. I get free food."

"You're such a little cheeky shit," Naruto groaned, recognizing the stupid smirk that made its way onto Sasuke's face.

"I'm honored; such a compliment from someone like you. I thought flattery was above dumbasses," Sasuke drummed his fingers on the table.  He seemed in a horribly good mood.  Which somehow, despite the insults, made Naruto feel like the king of the world.

The drinks arrived first.  Naruto didn't even remember them being ordered.  At his confused look, Sasuke cut in, "Orders come with free tea or water.  If you don't specify drinks, you get whatever."

Naruto grabbed his tea and the straw, still in the paper wrapping.  Perfect, he thought.  He scrunched up the paper until it popped off the end of the straw.

Naruto got a drop of the tea and he dripped it onto his paper caterpillar, grinning to himself.  He watched as the water made it unfurl like a worm on the bar counter like he was a little kid again.

Sasuke gave him a pointed look and a muttered, "Loser."

"At least I know how to have fun!" Naruto protested but he was grinning too widely to make a decent argument.

Sasuke's phone buzzed once in his pocket, and the raven completely ignored it.

"I can have fun," his muse snorted, "I have fun designing and creating clothes, for example.  I have fun going to kickboxing classes.  I can even have fun spending time with idiots."

Naruto perked up, "You do kickboxing?"

Sasuke jumped at the sudden intrusion into his personal space, but he took it well.  And Naruto could watch him up close and see the reflections of Ichiraku's in dark orbs, the quiver of his bottom lip, the blood creeping up his cheeks, the stray hair that didn't fall quite straight, how stunningly beautiful he looked in that second.

"I took it up recently," Sasuke admitted, his shoulders getting a twinge stiffer.  Embarrassed?  Yes, that looked like embarrassment to Naruto, that he couldn't claim he was great at everything.

Naruto didn't want Sasuke to be embarrassed of doing new things. Being bad was part of the adventure.

"That's amazing!  I totally would like to have a friendly spar sometime, I love that stuff!  I did a bunch of mixed martial arts back in high school and college," Naruto frowned a tiny bit as he remembered his new chub, "but I haven't been able to afford any gyms around here so I probably suck now."

"I'm a beginner, so perhaps we'd be even," Sasuke said in a tone Naruto would almost call reassuring as their food arrived.  Two steaming bowls of heaven, Naruto thought.  His had all the fixings, little fish cakes and lots of pork and an egg.

And it smelled like paradise.

Sasuke's was far plainer, with just strips of beef.

Naruto raised his chopsticks and started to wolf it all down.  It was amazing and he wanted it all in his mouth *right away*.  He found that if he sucked up his ramen slower, however, it was easier to swallow.  And dear god if he choked and made a fool out of himself with Sasuke right next to him.

Pausing in his consumption, he noticed Sasuke watching him with a peculiar expression.

"What?" He asked a bit defensively.  He wasn't even eating that badly, not piggish at all!

Sasuke shook his head, "Nothing. I was just thinking."

The raven's phone buzzed again, and he ignored it, yet again.

"What about?"

"Doesn't 'Naruto' mean fish cake in Japanese?" Sasuke smirked, stealing one of the aforementioned swirls deftly from Naruto's bowl, using his chopsticks so easily the blonde was a little jealous.

"Yeah," Naruto scratched the back of his head, chuckling a little, "It does.  My birth parents were always a little weird, I think.  Hey, I spent a while not even being Naruto!  The old man in charge of the orphanage I lived in until I was 6, I think his name was Sarutobi something, this old crazy Japanese guy, he renamed me.  He didn't remember that I was Naruto, so I spent a year as Menma because all that old coot knew was that my name was a ramen topping!"

Sasuke made an ungraceful snort, an unintentional, trying not to laugh sort of snort.  It was ridiculously cute.

"I was tricked," Sasuke confessed quietly, "when I was very young, that my name was really 'Sugar' by my older brother."

It was Naruto's turn to snort ramen up his nose.  He coughed and laughed at the same time, groping for a napkin.  Sasuke was so kind as to hand him one.

Waggling his eyebrows, he teased, "Sugar?  Sounds like a stripper name.  Is there something you want to tell me?"

"You had a ramen noodle enter your brain cavity at mach speed and impair your thought processors if you think anything of the sort," Sasuke snapped, but his blush was back.

Naruto appreciated the sight for a while, before leaning in and nudging the blushing cheek with his nose.

Sasuke flushed red and he crossed his arms, turning his face away.

"No love?" Naruto chuckled.

"You're stupid.  Just eat your ramen."

Retreating back to his bowl of steaming heaven, the blonde finished the rest of it easily.  Not before a fleeting guilt told him he really needed to start exercising for real again.  He had chub, for god's sake.  He would be nothing but a bowling ball if he didn't curb his tendencies to overindulge.

A repetitive buzzing came from Sasuke's pocket and the raven finally moved to answer it.

"Suigetsu?" Sasuke said, a hint of curiosity in his voice.

Naruto just watched, hoping he could understand at least some of the conversation.

"No-- I left our dorm like you wanted, you can't just demand me back," Sasuke rolled his eyes, "I didn't have my wallet."

Naruto could see annoyance flit across his muse's features.

"You didn't bother--" the raven groaned, "I got dinner.  Actually am still eating it.  Got a problem?"

Naruto noticed that Sasuke's bowl was still a quarter full.

"Naruto," Sasuke's tenor sounded ridiculously good around his name that he snapped up and stared at peach colored lips, stared at the enticing stretch of flesh across Sasuke's neck, at his adam's apple.  Naruto realized Sasuke wasn't trying to get his attention and rather was answering some question, probably who he was with.

"It's not exactly," Sasuke snapped, "I wanted--Oh shove yourself off a cliff.  I'll be back soon enough."

With that, Sasuke hung up.

Naruto just had to ask, "What was that about?"

"My roommates want me home.  Apparently they went to find me to have dinner together, and when I was nowhere in sight, got very upset."

"They shouldn't kick you out like that, then!" Naruto said, letting a bit of anger into his voice without thinking, "You didn't even know about their dinner thing.  I'm happy you ate with me instead!"

Sasuke leaned over a bit, and whispered, into his ear, "As am I. ...Thank you for this."

Naruto was the one blushing now.

"You're amazing," he mumbled, staring at Sasuke hopelessly.  He was just so--!  He was just gorgeous.  He was like a star, brilliant and burning and the center of Naruto's universe.  He looked like an angel or a demigod, so untouchable, but Naruto had.

Touched him.  He was real.

The blonde reached out, grabbing Sasuke's hand and entwining their fingers.  He squeezed once, and the most glorious thing happened.  Sasuke squeezed his hand back, despite completely avoiding looking at him.  Despite having a healthy red flush up his ears.

The raven held his chip up, "You're supposed to say, 'you're welcome,' not--"

"You're welcome, Sasuke!" Naruto beamed at him.

 _I love you,_ Naruto thought, _I love everything about you.  I want to make you happy._

_I want to make you as happy as I am when I'm near you._


	5. Exposure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tosses the chapter at you after a long time because college. College impedes on writing so eh, chapters are coming up slow. Just remember that I haven't abandoned this, not at all!

Naruto parked despite Sasuke insisting that it wasn't necessary for him to walk him to his dorm.  He insisted.  Not-dates could end with him giving an angry talking-to to certain roommates.  And also he got more time with Sasuke, which he felt was the best thing ever invented after ramen and photography.

When Sasuke pulled out his keys to unlock his dorm room, Naruto reached out and stopped him.

"Come on," he said like a promise, "One Eskimo kiss?"

Sasuke went red and slapped his hands away, "Stop making fun of me!  I know it was stupid that I couldn't actually kiss you--"

Naruto dropped his hands, eyes wide.  He stared, letting it sink in.

"I thought it was cute," he reassured, reaching out to stroke Sasuke's cheek, "I bet it would've been your first kiss too."

Sasuke glared at him, swatting away his hand, "Shut up."

The glare was sharp enough to destroy his self-esteem, so Naruto knew it was a clear message to back the hell off.  His muse wasn't comfortable enough to kiss him, even though he thought he should be.  Naruto understood that.  His first kiss had been awful because it was just too soon.

"I don't need one anyway.  This was a friendly dinner as *friends*," Naruto grinned, eyes twinkling mischievously, "Your first date comes later.  So, nose to nose.  Is that okay?"

The glare softened in its intensity, but Sasuke still kept himself a decent amount away.

He'd probably deny Naruto even that but the blond wouldn't mind.  After all, Sasuke had held his hand without protesting, had forgotten to let go until they decided to leave.  Naruto was on cloud nine.

"Only so you let me go inside," Sasuke agreed after an eternity of thinking on it, "And you let me yell at my stupid roommates myself.  Don't think I didn't see through you.  You're angry at them."

"You shouldn't let them walk all over you," Naruto scoffed, crossing his arms, but he got it.  Sasuke was not, in any way, shape, or form, Hinata.  He didn't need Naruto to fight his battles.  He didn't need anything from Naruto at all, actually.  Even the dinner had been something Sasuke had wanted, not needed, seeing as he could've just texted someone about it and learned he'd be let back in for dinner.  Sasuke choose to text Naruto instead.

And Naruto got it.  He didn't need Sasuke for anything either.  He wanted him.  There was a very important difference.

"They don't walk all over me," his muse snorted, "I could've come back at any time I wanted.  I didn't want to.  Simple as that.  What part of I wanted to eat dinner with you did you misunderstand?"

Naruto laughed, "Yeah, I guess so."

They both figured they had avoided the Eskimo kiss long enough at around the same time, so when Naruto leaned forward, Sasuke cupped the blonde's face in his hands and pressed their noses together.  Naruto stared into the eyes so close to his, their breath mingling, and suddenly this Eskimo kiss was the most romantic thing Naruto had ever done in his entire life.  So close to kissing but not touching, eyes just staring into each others, a warm palm on his cheek. 

Sasuke flushed a healthy pink, but it was Naruto who swore his entire body was blushing a furious red.  He could have kinky sex all night until he was so sore he could barely move, but a simple press of their noses together made him blush like a virgin for how _intimate_ it was.

The blonde pulled away, hiding his red face in his palm.  In the corner of his eye, he swore he saw Sasuke smirking as he turned around to unlock the door.

Then it all happened so fast he could barely keep track.

The door opened a crack, Sasuke had turned a bit to a wave goodbye to him, there was a lot of shouting from the room beyond, still mostly blocked from view, when the door abruptly slammed shut, and Sasuke was thrown back into Naruto, the full body impact slamming them both against the ground.

Naruto died a bit inside as Sasuke sat up, his left hand on the blonde's upper thigh and his right trapping Naruto's arm flush against him.

"The fuck?" Sasuke growled, his voice far too angry and too close for comfort.

"Did they just slam you out of your own room?" Naruto asked, bringing up his free hand to rub his injured head.

"It appears so," he mused, in a voice too deadly for human comprehension.

The raven untangled himself from Naruto and strode towards the door, foot slowly rising in the air in an attempt to karate kick it down.  Remembering the kickboxing conversation, Naruto rushed upwards to stop him.  Sasuke couldn't actually want to kick his door down, he was just horribly enraged and someone needed to stop him before he murders someone.

The door flew open of its own accord, however, and Sasuke lowered his foot, mildly confused and mostly enraged.

"Uh-- Sasuke, you probably shouldn't--!" Naruto stumbled into Sasuke's back, a moment too late to stop himself, and the two of them toppled again, this time with the blonde laying flat on top of Sasuke and pinning him to the ground.

"Ow, watch it, dumbass!" Sasuke shoved Naruto off and looked around, "I know you shits are in here.  Stop hiding and I'll spare your lives."

About seven people jumped out from the couches and the table, shooting confetti into the air with one pathetic blow horn going off.

"SURPRISE!!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY SASUKE!"

Naruto blew some confetti out of his mouth and stood up, swiveling to face Sasuke, who had gone mortified and pale as a ghost.

"You didn't tell me it was your birthday!" The photographer accused, pointing his finger at the birthday boy, "I would've got you something!"

"You got me dinner," Sasuke said, mouth set on automatic as he stared, still mortified.  Then, it seemed everything clicked.  His expression darkened to a boiling rage that lay under a mask of calm as he pulled a string out of his hair in slow motion, "You all locked me out of my room... for this?!"

The party guests, who were mainly Sasuke's roommates as well as four other unnamed individuals.  Two were in black and off to themselves in the corner, a white haired man with two red dots on his forehead stood next to Juugo, and Suigetsu and Karin were glaring at the silver haired one with glasses.

"We had to do something," Karin pouted.

"Otouto, don't be rude," said one of the men in black, elegant as you please, silky black hair and Sasuke's stunning features, two stress lines down his cheeks and even tireder eyes.  It clicked immediately in Naruto's head, that this was Sasuke's brother, who was doing the charity.

Standing next to him and a whole head and a half taller was a dark skinned man, with a gruff face that looked somehow Asian and African at the same time.  The both of them were wearing matching suits but different colored shirts underneath, which Naruto thought was a little odd.

"Shut up, Itachi," Sasuke glared even fiercer at him, "You're supposed to be on an airplane out of Angola right now!  Why'd you lie?  I was going to pick you guys up at the airport tomorrow!"

"I didn't want to miss your birthday," Itachi, the brother, smiled gently and looked at Sasuke with so much affection that Naruto swore Sasuke'd melt.

Sasuke did melt a little.  He snorted, before turning back to Naruto, "That's my brother, and the guy standing next to him is his husband, Kisame," he glanced at his brother for a second, "Itachi, this is Naruto.  He's the one I told you about."

Itachi stepped forward and held out his hand for a shake, "Itachi Hoshigaki, it's a pleasure.  I've only heard bad things, but if he really didn't like you, I'd of heard nothing."

"Uh... Hi," Naruto shook the proffered hand bewilderedly and tried to grin.

Sasuke left him alone in the hands of his stranger of brother and went to yell at Karin and Suigetsu, so Naruto was truly alone.

And he just knew, in a second, he'd get some sort of protective older brother scaring tactic.  After all, he'd dispensed enough scaring tactics for Sakura in his own time.

Itachi wasted no time starting, now that Sasuke was on the other side of the room.

"I guess I'll entrust my baby brother to your hands," Itachi sighed, looking horribly forlorn, until his face snapped into a gleeful mask promising much much torture, "I'll give you one chance.  It's a generous bargain after all.  I don't trust your kind."

Naruto gaped like a fish, "...my kind?  What is _my kind_?  Blondes?  Jocks?  College graduates?  Men?"

"Photographers," Itachi said it like a curse word.  If there was any more spite in that word, Naruto would have died right there and gone to hell for all eternity just for hearing it.

No wonder Sasuke was so... extreme.  Naruto got the feeling all that camera shyness came straight from his older brother.  He had little doubt of it, actually, seeing as Itachi only looked more and more murderous after having said the word.

Naruto said without thinking, "It's not my fault you're gorgeous and everyone wants it on camera."

That actually made Itachi laugh a little, so he hadn't screwed up too badly.

"I'll tolerate you," Itachi said, not without sounding supremely critical, "Don't fuck it up with my brother and I won't destroy all of your hopes and dreams for the rest of your eternity on this plane of existence."

Naruto nodded, a solid fear of Itachi ground into his soul.

Itachi's partner, Kisame, didn't say much as Itachi went back over to his corner, just followed him, and Naruto had the oddest thought that perhaps he couldn't speak English.  Most husbands didn't like other people saying potentially flirty comments about their partners, but the giant didn't even blink a yellow eye.

Not confirming or denying that thought, Kisame began to speak in some language Naruto didn't recognize.  It was probably something African, considering Sasuke had said something about third world countries and being a doctor.  In fact, they probably both were doctors of some type.

In his distraction, a substantial weight landed on his back with an "oompft." And judging by the two soft mounds of flesh pressed into his shoulder blades, it was Karin who had sprung him from behind, hugging him around his neck tightly.

"Hello, there!" He grinned, spinning himself in a circle.  She giggled and shrieked, clutching tighter in hopes not to fall off.

She wrapped her legs around his waist to secure herself better, "Hi, favorite photographer of mine!  Remember I had that favor?"

Naruto escaped her clutches, unwrapping her legs and arms and putting her back down on the ground like a princess, chuckling, "Yeah, yeah, sure!"

Karin brushed her hair back a bit where it had gotten ruffled, "So I feel awful pushy but I got a little braggy with those nudes and showed them off to my favorite tattoo shop, and we got to talking about the shop's business and et cetera.  Basically they offered to pay you if you felt like doing a couple safe for work shots for advertising?"

Advertising?  Naruto furrowed his eyebrows.  When it came to photography, he wanted to capture the beauty and feel of actual things, real things... The perfection of nature and the reality and personality of people.  Was that even possible in that sort of commercial photography?  There was a difference in a fun little shoot for a new friend and trying to advertise something.  It would feel all very fake.

"I know that look," Karin looked fairly put out, "Don't give me that look."

"Advertisements are so... fake," Naruto tried to explain.

Karin seemed to get it, but she pushed on, "Remember how I showed you my tats?  I said I designed them and I got them inked in at this shop."

"I remember."

"It's that shop that I'm asking this favor for.  They keep losing customers to this awful place that does half-hearted and unsafe work, and I suggested I could get them a set of posters to put up of their work to get more attention."

Naruto nodded, "Advertising."

"I already showed them the nudes and they adored you.  Obviously the nudes won't work as advertisements, but they loved your style.  I promised to ask if you wouldn't mind doing some posters," Karin explained, face dead serious for once.  She looked like a shrewd business woman, and Naruto could just see her running her own tattoo shop.  He almost wanted to give in, but...

"But... Again, it'll be fake.  I wouldn't be capturing the stuff I like.  It wouldn't be nearly as good," Naruto shook his head, "I know it'd be cool to make some extra cash, but I think the quality would suffer if I did shoots I wasn't interested in, and I don't want that for your favorite shop."

"My tattoos are my pride and joy, and no one else will feel any different," Karin winked, "All of the people you'd get as models will be there because they're in love with themselves.  The tattoos on these people mean something, okay?  Even if they can't be honest behind the camera, it won't be as fake as you think."

"I have conditions," Naruto sighed, swayed, "I choose how I'll photograph everything.  If I don't like it, I can just stop."

Karin beamed at him, "Thanks!  And don't worry, they don't need those posters right away, they're flexible.  I'll call later, okay?  We can work out details."

He nodded, looking around the room.  Where was Sasuke?  His pulse had speed up and he needed familiarity.

Naruto only had to search for a quick second before he found his prey, as Sasuke was still chewing out Suigetsu for apparently "inviting the creep in the corner on top of it all," whose name had yet to be found out.  Waiting for the perfect moment to spring, he watched patiently for the raven to drop his guard.  There! He snuck over and wrapped himself around Sasuke, covering his eyes with his palms.

It felt much better than when they'd knocked into each other, no elbows in bad places or etc,  just a lot of soft, fussy Sasuke pressed up against him.  He had to think of turducken to keep his dick from rising to the occasion, which was fairly frustrating.  He thought he'd gotten over his Sasuke-boner related problems but apparently Sasuke's back fitting perfectly against his chest and his ass right against Naruto's crotch was just too much.

"Guess who?" Naruto teased, pitching his voice lower than usual.

"It doesn't matter _who_ you are, _what_  you are is about to be dead," Sasuke snapped, his hands trying to pull Naruto's off his eyes and struggling against him, which was horribly arousing.  The blonde swore that just to spite him for his earlier thought, an elbow drove itself right into the tender flesh of his side.

Still, Naruto didn't let go, and Sasuke figured out struggling was futile.  (As far as he knew.  If he had struggled too much more, Naruto would've had an erection no gross thought could extinguish.  Then Naruto would've peeled off for a night with his hand and several cold showers.)

"Aw, I put up with your brother's death threats just to get more from you?" The blonde laughed, "Cut me some slack."

"Loser.  Get off," Sasuke's face heated up under his fingers.  He figured it out, Naruto grinned, obviously, but was still being stubborn.

Naruto insisted, "Say my name!"

"Fucking dumbass."

"That's not my name."

"It should be, idiot."

"You got two letters right!"

"NARUTO!" Sasuke hissed.

"Bingo!" Naruto let his victim go, a little despairing of the lost warmth and soft body.

Sasuke proceeded to kick him in the chest and smirked as he watched him topple like in that log game when someone had pulled out the crucial log that kept the whole thing together and everything crashed.

Naruto rubbed his injured bum and glared a bit, "You can't take a joke."

"You can't take a kick," his muse smirked right back.

"Kickboxing was a bad thing for you to do, you use it for evil," He accused, laying back down on their really quite comfortable rug.  He was in no hurry to get up.  He'd fallen over too many times today, curtesy of Sasuke.

Obviously Sasuke had an issue with that because he held out his hand, outstretched, "Don't lay on my floor."

"Then don't kick me like that, unless I get to punch you back," Naruto whined, but he grabbed the hand and pulled himself upright anyway.  And then refused to let go.  A willingly offered Sasuke hand was a rare thing, not to be released right away.

How could someone's hand fit perfectly in his?  How could every scar, every crease in his palm, the very length of his fingers, how could it all feel so good in his own?

The joy of holding hands with Hinata had been that she'd smile.  Her hand just felt like a hand, fingers, a palm, a thumb, wrapped around his.  She had tiny cold hands and he'd liked to warm them up.  But Sasuke's hands were... They weren't stunning, like his face, they looked just like normal hands, save for the scars on them.  Pinprick scars, scabs, callouses, probably all from creating things with his hands.  Normal hands.

But put them in Naruto's hands and it felt like the world had shifted.

It was the love talking, obviously.  Naruto knew he shouldn't idolize Sasuke, but honestly he felt he wasn't.  Sasuke looked too good, had more than enough goodness on the inside too, and he felt spectacular against Naruto's body.  All of those things were true.  He wasn't trumping it up for anyone.

It was way too early to be thinking these sorts of things.  Why was his head so far ahead of their relationship?  For heaven's sake, he'd only actually known him for two months and he felt like he'd found the person he'd love for the rest of his lifetime.

"Dumbass, I need my hand back.  The idiocy might be contagious," Sasuke grumbled.

Just for that, Naruto pulled Sasuke's hand up to his mouth, and, pretending to kiss it, he licked a wet strip all the way up to his wrist.

Sasuke ripped his hand back with force, and with wide eyes he looked at his hand, and whispered in a horrified tone, "I'm infected."

Naruto laughed, holding his stomach, "Admit defeat?"

"Although undoubtably pleasurable, please refrain from licking my brother outside of the bedroom," Itachi intruded, literally appearing out of thin air to loom over Naruto, which logically shouldn't be possible, because Naruto was taller than both of the brothers, although not by much.

"We're not even dating yet!" Naruto protested, scrambling out from underneath Itachi's shadow.

"Really now?  I thought you came back from a date just now.  Didn't you take him out to dinner earlier?" Itachi crooned, sounding very pleased with himself.

"I--" Naruto had no good response to that, "It wasn't a date!"

Sasuke glared at Itachi, "Your surprise party left me kicked out of the house all day, penniless.  I don't think charity counts as dating.  Wouldn't that make you a whore?"

"I do always say that I'm married to my job," Itachi said, straight-faced, "You don't mind too much, do you, Kisame?"

Kisame chuckled, "If you are happy with it."

So he does speak English, Naruto thought, noting the strong accent. It was a Japanese accent.  Was he multilingual?  That was so cool.

"I saw you two kissing out there!" Karin teased, wiggling back and forth.

Nose kissing, yeah!  They weren't past nose on nose touching!

"Ah, ah... Lying is bad, Otouto," Itachi scolded, "I don't kiss my charities."

"Agh!" Naruto pulled on his hair, "It's not freaking kissing if our mouths didn't touch!  Your brother is still a lip virgin, is that what you wanted to hear?!"

Sasuke turned bright red, "Shut up, don't tell them that!"

Karin and Suigetsu openly gawked and Itachi let out a long suffering sigh.

"Eehhh?!  How hasn't Sasuke been kissed before?!" Karin turned on Naruto, pointing her finger accusingly at him, "You're an awful boyfriend, Naruto, withholding that kind of thing!  Sasuke, don't waste your time on him!"

"You always were so immature, Sasuke..." Itachi sounded weary and long suffering, his one hand going to his husband's proffered forearm and his other to his forehead, the very picture of dramatic suffering.  Naruto almost laughed; it seemed out of character for someone in such a somber suit.

Suigetsu laughed, "Dude, going to clubs with you would totally rock!  I literally could get every single woman in there because you'd turn them all down! Ah man, no kisses at all?  How'd you even manage that?"

Sasuke was beginning to look highly pressurized, like too much anger stuffed into too small a person, and extraordinarily uncomfortable.  He looked liable to melt or explode, or maybe both at the same time.

"Even I've kissed someone before, Sasuke.  Perhaps this is a sign of early erectile dysfunction or asexuality.  Perhaps a hormonal imbalance?" called the white haired man in the corner with the glasses.

To which Sasuke's roommates all responded: "Shut up, Kabuto, no one cares!"

The man, Kabuto, retreated back into the corner with a bit of a hissy fit.

"Whose bright idea was it to invite my supervisor to my already undesirable surprise birthday party, again?" Sasuke snapped, staring at the floor.

"Yeah, you didn't even invite me," Naruto pouted, "but you got his supervisor?  That's just cruel."

Juugo spoke up for the first time that night, "Sasuke doesn't have too many friends."

"It's not like Kabuto's his boss," Suigetsu feebly defended.

"Also I did invite you, didn't I?  Oh, no, I forgot! Agh! I'm stupid," Karin babbled, "I was gonna ask you back at your house on Sunday!  But I completely forgot!  I'm so sorry--!  But it worked out fine!"

"Because of your selective amnesia, I got free dinner," Sasuke said dryly, "So yes, it worked out fine.  Although I'm sure Naruto would've appreciated it if you happened to have remembered."

"I got to spend a good hour and a half with you," Naruto felt like he'd said for the millionth time, "Alone. I can assure you I wasn't suffering any great hardship."

"An hour and a half of alone time with Sasuke and he never even kissed the boy," Karin tsked.

"You need to turn your game on, man," Suigetsu winked, "He likes it when you--"

"Finish that sentence, and you will die," Sasuke interrupted loudly, talking over Suigetsu and effectively stopping anyone from comprehending his roommate.

"--your sweatshirts--"

"I will cut your entrails out of your convulsing body."

"--out shirtless," Suigetsu clicked his tongue and made double pistols with his hands.

Naruto grinned, "And you know this, how exactly?"

"He's clingy and talkative when he's--"

Suigetsu was struck down by a stray fist, then repeatedly stomped on.  Sasuke had turned a blazing red color and his eyes spelled out pure murder.

"That," each word was accented by a stomp, "is.  private."

"It's not even that embarrassing!" Suigetsu whined, having curled up to protect his stomach, "I get hard when girls wear my clothes!  You just-- omphft!"

Sasuke had stomped particularly hard.

Naruto grabbed one of his muse's arms and dragged him away.  In fact, he thought, Sasuke probably wanted to enjoy his birthday party without him.  He seemed to be making everything worse, after all. He was the catalyst for embarrassing relatives.

Once he'd gotten them both outside, the both of them just standing outside of the door which Naruto'd slammed behind him, he could only scratch the back of his head sheepishly and look at Sasuke, who was battling and defeating his blush.

When he noticed Naruto looking at him, he flicked his eyes away immediately.

"I hate them," Sasuke snapped, crossing his arms.

Naruto could tell he loved them all, his obnoxious supervisor not included, and that's why they were driving him batty, as much as he tried to play it cool.

"I have my own share of embarrassing friends.  You met Kiba," Naruto reminded him.

"That I did," Sasuke said without much emotion.

"It's not so bad," Naruto said, watching his new favorite pair of eyes dull.  He looked like there was some deep underlying issue that he wasn't going to admit.

"...I wish I could say I felt the same."

Pulling him aside, he pinned him to the wall next to his door, so Naruto could really look into his dark eyes and make sure he was listening, "Hey, I get it.  Friends, family.  Totally embarrassing, always will be.  But I also know that they just want what they think is best for you."

Sasuke stared up at him, swallowing visibly, "They think everything should go faster than I like.  That I should be comfortable enough with people for intimacy.  So they shove it on me and I'm left terrified."

"I get it," Naruto lowered his head, his forehead on Sasuke's shoulder.  The feeling that suddenly there's too many people too close and he can't breathe.  The feeling where he never knows if what he's doing or saying is okay.  The complete lack of confidence, where his knees go weak.  Naruto had felt that terror before; Sasuke's words hit right where it hurt, right in the social anxiety.

"I won't let you hurt me," Sasuke's voice came from above him, sounding far more like a personal commitment than anything he wanted Naruto to hear.

He lifted his head, looking at him.  Sasuke's jaw was set just so, like a man on a mission, and Naruto couldn't help but grin, "I think you'd kill me if I did something you didn't like."

He snorted, "You can bet your ass on it."

"You can do things at your own pace.  There's no rush.  We technically haven't even gone on a date, no matter what anyone else says," Naruto released him, stepping back and putting his hands in his pockets.

Sasuke shrugged, looking back at the door, "Don't you want to?"

"Don't I want to what?"

"...kiss me?"

"Do you want me to be honest?" Naruto asked, blushing red up to his ears, "Because I want to kiss you a lot."

Sasuke didn't look exactly upset or happy by that confession.  His cheeks were pink and he was avoiding Naruto's eyes entirely.

"I wish I knew what it's like," Sasuke turned his gaze up to the ceiling, "Because I don't know if I want to or not.  I keep thinking about it like it's inevitable.  One day, someone will kiss me.  I'd rather it be that stalker instead of just anyone."

His eyes met with Naruto's stunned ones, "Does that mean I want to kiss you?"

Naruto didn't know how to speak, his throat all closed up.  His mouth closed and opened a couple times as he tried to function while hyper analyzing Sasuke's every word.

"... I thought so, just rip off the band-aid and there you go, first kiss, gone.  I even tried to kiss you myself, but I panicked.  Is it stupid to say I'm scared?  I'm half-expecting fireworks and coma patients waking up and suddenly I'm saving the world.  Disney lied to me."

Finally starting to reboot his brain, Naruto whispered, "There could be fireworks."

Sasuke glared at him, "I don't want fireworks."

Obviously his brain wasn't finished rebooting.

"I don't know what you want," Naruto admitted, "It's not gonna be a Disney kiss or whatever.  Usually it sucks.  You don't know where to put your mouth or what to do with your nose or anything.  Mine sucked."

Sasuke snorted, then paused, "Tell me?"

The blonde photographer gaped a little, "Uh... It's been a while.  I was like, ten.  I..."

Damn, it's really horrifying to admit to stuff he'd left covered in dust like that.

 "I'm 21 as of today and unkissed," Sasuke reassured him dryly, "It can't be more embarrassing than that, apparently."

"It's still awful," Naruto leaned back against the opposite wall, taking a deep breath, "I was ten.  It was summer-time and I had been living on the streets after I'd run away from my last foster family.  So food was hard to get, yeah?"

Sasuke didn't say anything, just stood there looking gorgeous and untouchable, so Naruto continued, "I used to take jobs from this awful group of teenage girls in a park across from their high school for fast cash.  Usually it was pants-ing some girl they didn't like or putting gum in people's hair, stupid pranks like that."

"Their latest victim was this girl, Kurenai.  She was a nerd, with these big glasses.  The girls paid me ten bucks, three whole days of food, to kiss her when she was sleeping out on the bleachers."

He remembered what she looked like clearly.  Bushy black hair, horn rimmed glasses with thick lenses.  She might've been pretty, but he'd been ten and still thought all girls were icky.  She had been pregnant when he'd kissed her.  It had been a big deal that everyone gossiped about back then, but he hadn't known until she was his assistant teacher in high school, and he apologized for the whole fiasco.

"I remember getting her on her cheek and the girls telling me it wasn't good enough.  They needed a photo of me kissing her on the mouth.  So I went back and laid one on her.  It was awful, mostly because she jolted awake and head-butted me hard enough to concuss me.  I bit off a sliver of my tongue and started crying when my mouth filled up with blood, but I got 15 bucks instead of the promised 10 and Kurenai got me some ice to suck on.  It wasn't bad enough for stitches, so... I thought it was great at the time.  Four whole days of food, paid for."

Sasuke rolled his shoulders back, a lion waking, looking at him, "When you kiss me on our first date, don't make mine nearly so awful."

"...What do you mean?" Naruto gaped at him, blinking.

"I'm tired of being scared of people," The raven stuck one hand into his jeans pocket, looking down at his shoes, "I am *not* delicate.  You can't even put a scratch on my forehead.  So what's holding me back?  Theoretically, kissing is nothing."

"If it's nothing, it wouldn't bother you this much," Naruto pointed out, "It's true that it's kind of unimportant in the great grand scheme of things but..."

"Just shut up and let me trust you with it," Sasuke groaned.

Naruto's original commentary got lost in his throat and instead, he chuckled, "Just... be sure.  I don't want to kiss you if you don't want to kiss me too."

Sasuke smirked, then looked back at his door, "I should get back."

"I'm heading home.  Not that your party isn't great, but it's past bedtime for me.  I have to be awake at 3:30."

"I remember," Sasuke waved him off.

"If they ask, we fucked against the door," Naruto winked, heading down the hall towards the exit.

Because Sasuke couldn't just let him have the last words, he called after, "Like hell we did, dumbass."

The blonde laughed, taking wide steps out towards his parked orange monstrosity.

It had been a really good evening in Naruto's book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone is wondering, in this fic Kisame is half Japanese, half Congolese. He speaks French, Kikongo, English, and Japanese, all with varying levels of fluentness. He's most fluent in Japanese and Kikongo, although English is a close third. Both Itachi and Kisame work as Doctors without borders. Itachi has taken Kisame's last name, and yes, its important to note that for this fic if you want insight on the plot of it. Last names are important in this fic regarding the Uchihas.


	6. Focus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will probably be disappointing, but in order for things to go along, it needed to happen. It's also focused on the ladies, who need more love.

Work was hell.  Naruto snapped a photo of a squirming three year old in far too few clothes, the little rascal having lost his pants somewhere and was wearing a polka-dotted diaper that smelled.  Bad.

"I swear, the service these days," the mother of the brat complained to her husband.

Naruto quickly wrote down their phone number and sent the photo off to the printing processor in the back of their tent.  It was almost 9, and he was dying.

It was too bloody hot and he'd been up far too long the night before.

Even in shorts and a sleeveless shirt, Naruto was dying of it all.

"Your photos will be done in less than thirty minutes," He plastered on a bright fake smile, trying almost too hard not to scowl, "You can come back to pick them up at any time.  Would you like a text when they are done processing?"

The woman looked at him like he was a bad aftertaste in his mouth, "No thanks."

He swore as she was walking away she said, "Damn high school wash-outs, no wonder the economy is trash."

A head of spiky grey hair caught his eye from all the chuckling.

Oh, yes. The other reason he was dying.  When he'd mentioned it briefly to Jiraiya, his boss agreed that Kakashi wasn't up to snuff.  So he told Naruto he was going to be in charge of teaching his coworker how to do his job.

So, there he was, wearing his usual mess of attire, reading pornography in the back of the tent and decidedly not working at all.  His appearance was completely out of place.  Sure, the khaki shorts were acceptable and even the obnoxious Hawaiian shirt was loud but within company dress code so long as he wore the large ugly name tag and the company logo, but some things were just out of place.  For one, he had an eye patch on today instead of his glass eye.  Kakashi's favorite glass eye had a red iris with three black "tomoe" as Kakashi called them.  It looked like he had four pupils instead of one, and he probably took to the eye patch because the thing scared away customers, but he looked like a pirate.  Add to that the doctor's mask over his mouth and nose, and Kakashi looked more like a circus clown than an employee.

Naruto glared at him, "Something funny?"

"Why, it's all too much for your innocent ears," Kakashi somehow said with enough of a condescending tone that Naruto wanted to spontaneously burst into flames and roast him alive.

"I've had sex before!  Your stupid porno book isn't going to fake me out!" Naruto hissed under his breath.

The older man sighed, "This book was written by Jiraiya himself."

"So?  Why's that a big deal?"

"This photography gig of his is an excuse to ogle girls on the beach in skimpy clothing all day long."

So that's why Jiraiya stopped by to "check on his progress" so often.  No wonder.  Naruto smacked his forehead, "You're all perverts."

"And proud.  So a little birdy told me some interesting news of late," Kakashi was probably smirking underneath his stupid mask he always wore just to look cool or something, "Imagine my surprise that you're involved with Itachi-- oh, what is his new last name again?"

Naruto grimaced, "Hoshigaki.  What the hell is your problem?  I'm just helping out a charity with a bit of photography work."

"That's not what I heard," the silver haired man adjusted his eye patch, "I heard you were dating his terror of a younger brother.  It's a terrible crime for those two to be so good-looking and so homosexual."

"What do you know, anyway?  I've never heard them mention you," Naruto shook his head, clearing out the useless thoughts suddenly cluttering up his brain space.

Thoughts like, was Sasuke even gay?  Was he bi?  Pansexual?  ...Asexual?  Naruto would have no clue what to do if Sasuke was asexual, because he was too deep to let go of him now but he didn't know anything about respecting boundaries.  In all of his other relationships, he'd never even thought about it.

"Itachi has grown distant but I used to be the president of his HOSA club in high school and a friend, if not particularly close.  When he came back to town, I felt obliged to meet with him," Kakashi flipped a page of his porn.

"You did HOSA? But you're a washed-up, no good photographer!" Naruto said, in somewhat amazement.  Who knew someone could fall so far from grace?  He'd thought all those smart kids were set for life.

"I suppose you've noticed the scar and the fake eye," Kakashi said dryly, "The accident took away my sight, my mobility, and my life savings.  I had no choice but to drop out of college. It's a sore spot, if you will.  You have no right to talk, _washed-up photographer_."

Naruto felt like a dick, but he still bristled, "At least I'm a good one!  I'm just following my heart right now.  I'm gonna go places!"

"I suppose I'll have to wait and see.  As for now, you're no better than me."

"I don't like you," Naruto rolled his eyes.

Long strands of dark hair blowing in the breeze caught his eye.

Naruto swiveled around to see a girl with a perfect hourglass body, straight black hair down to her waist, a modest black one piece hugging her ample curves, and a pair of bedazzled sunglasses covering her eyes.  She had approached the tent somehow without him noticing, and now she stood right in front of him.

"Naruto?" She asked in a stunned voice, and everything clicked.

He jumped back and pointed at her, "Hinata!"

"You look good," she said, smiling shyly and removing her sunglasses.  She was definitely older but her pale blue eyes were the same as they'd always been.  Her kind, gentle eyes, and her tentative quirk of lips that she had greeted him with in high school and college, until she ripped out his heart and left to go get happily married to another man.

"Why are you in Santa Barbara?" He blinked, trying to figure out if he was imagining her, "Shouldn't you be in China?"

"My husband had a business trip," She brushed her hair behind her ear and smiled demurely at him, "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Here as in on the beach, or here as in Santa Barbara?  Because I know I told everyone I moved," Naruto remembered that e-mail.  He knew he had told her.

"On the beach.  I called last night to tell you I was in the area but there was no answer," she hoisted herself up onto the table, her long pale legs stretching out.

Kakashi was giving him suggestive eyebrows in the back, but Naruto ignored him.

Hinata was _married_ , for goodness sake.

"I was at a party last night," he explained, laughing it off, "Guess I turned off my phone."

"I thought you hated parties," Hinata gave him a strange look.  It looked curious from one angle and worried from the next.  Naruto wanted to snap a picture of it.

"I was working on getting over that during the last leg of college.  I even went to this big graduation fling!" Naruto admitted, "But this wasn't even one of those parties.  A tiny one.  Only seven people besides me and the birthday boy, and I knew three of them personally."

"A birthday party?  Whose?"

Now, did he call Sasuke his boyfriend?  No, better to play it safe.  They weren't there yet.  They were so far away from there yet.

"My new friend.  I didn't know it was his birthday and he didn't know he was having a party.  It was a bit of a mess," Naruto grinned, scratching at the back of his hair. 

"I'm happy for you, Naruto," She cleaned underneath her fingernails, holding up her hands to examine her flawless manicure, a blush on her cheeks, "You seem very happy here."

"I am!" He beamed.

"To be honest, I requested to come along on my husband's business trip only to see you and Sakura," she smiled back, although a bit sadly, "although she's avoiding my phone calls now.  Is she alright?  She abruptly stopped talking to all of us and usually we can't find a moment of peace without her calling Tenten or I."

Naruto's shoulders slumped, "I drove up to her place last weekend to talk things over with her, and it sort of ended badly.  I was going to call her tonight and try to hash it out."

That caught Hinata's attention, "So something is wrong... is she okay?  Please tell me!"

"Uh, she's okay.  Don't worry, she's just a bit emotional.  Actually, girl talk would probably help!  You should go cheer her up.  I messed everything up and she probably needs to vent or something."

Hinata wiped at her delicate dark lashes, "Thank god.  I was so worried!"

Naruto stared at his sandals, wiggling his toes.

He was nursing his wounds and avoiding her and he needed to just call Sakura and talk to her.  The problem wasn't going to go away if he ignored it.  She wasn't going to suddenly tell him she was miraculously not pregnant and that she didn't mean a word of it, that it was all a very mean joke.

"I get the feeling there's more you're not telling me," Hinata shook her head, her long tresses swaying in the motion.

"She'll probably fill you in," Naruto gulped, "Um, not to be rude but I'm sort of supposed to be working?  You can totally stick around for a bit but..."

She smiled, "I see.  I'll be in the state for the next week, but I think I'll spend a good portion of that with Sakura, if you don't mind terribly.  It'll make me very happy if you call her this evening, please, and tell her to expect me?"

"Yeah, uh," Naruto grabbed a pen and scribbled a note right on his forearm, "Definitely!  You should totally cheer her up!  That's a great idea."

"One more favor, please, Naruto?" Hinata slid off the table, putting her sunglasses back on.

"Sure."

"Your address?  I want to spend more time with you too."

The seeming inevitability, Naruto thought, of thinking the day before that your ex should meet your roommate.  Next day, the ex wants the address and will soon meet the roommate.

He told her his address, then added almost too quickly, "And I've got a roommate!  He's cool, so don't worry about him."

"I'm so proud of you!  A roommate, to think, you got strong enough for a roommate!" She hugged him tightly, quickly, and left him with a kiss on the cheek.

He stared a bit at her chest as she retreated, which he was sure had grown bigger since last time.  He didn't remember it being that huge.  ...Maybe she had surgery?  But why?  Also, he certainly didn't remember so much confidence.  She used to blush bright red whenever she was outside in anything less than full length pants and a long sleeved jacket.

He snapped himself out of his shock when he heard Kakashi's douchebag chuckles.

"She's married.  Three years married.  Very happily three years married," he snapped at him.

"Yet I'm not the one who gets a little starry-eyed when she shows up, hm?" Kakashi flipped a page disinterested, "What happened to you and lover-boy?"

"Ha!  None of your damn business," Naruto grinned to himself; if Kakashi thinks he got starry-eyed over Hinata, he should see him within sight of a stray Sasuke.  He'd have to put in a new photo next to the definition of smitten.

Not that he told Kakashi this.  Instead Naruto ignored the stupid perv in favor of waving to a potential family of customers.

* * *

Laying swathed in a cocoon of his comforter and with his feet on his pillow, Naruto was panicking.

He had called her.

The phone was a ringing beast in his hand because oh god, he _called_ her.

"...Hello?" she picked up, her voice sounding somehow just far too loud and too there.

"Sakura," he muttered, "Hi."

"Naruto!  I--!  It's been a while, huh?" She threw in a fake laugh for his sake.  He was already hyper-analyzing her.  She sounded just this side of awkward relief and maybe guilt?  Where was the anger?  Was she hiding it, waiting to unleash hell upon him?

Naruto mumbled, "Sure has.  Can we talk?"

"We can always talk," Sakura clarified for him, switching to dead serious.  It was a shocking tone shift.  Was that the beginning of her rage?

"You said in your text that you had made a decision," he pronounced slowly, trying not to panic.  His heart was already racing in his chest and he was taking deep breaths to combat it.

Even if she was pissed, Sakura would not hurt him.  He was safe, she was safe, she was familiar.  He could trust her.  They were best friends.  She was a person he knew very well.

He should not be scared of her.

"Yes.  I talked to Iruka and he explained a lot of things.  He, he told me what you were like after I--!  I just--!  I'm sorry, Naruto."

She?  She was sorry?

He felt tears forming in his eyes, his breath hitching, the phone slippery in his hand.  Suddenly, all his emotion burst out of him, " _I'm_ sorry, Sakura!  I was supposed to help you and I just made everything worse!"

He had to hold the phone with both hands but everything was slippery and his chest was heaving with his efforts to just breathe.  His head kept racing, his thoughts too fast to be proper thoughts, his stomach flipping, and he was barely keeping himself together.

She murmured, soothing, "None of it was your fault.  I'm emotionally distraught and pregnant.  I fucked up too.  I've been fucking up a lot.  You were trying to help me and instead of being grateful for having such amazing friends, I dissed everything you tried to offer and demanded more than you could give me."

"I was supposed to help you like you always help me," he croaked, clutching his shirt, suddenly feeling suffocated on top of it all.

"Shh, I know.  You helped me get my head screwed on straight, in a way.  I left my dad.  Can't exactly say I've moved out, but I'm sleeping in a hotel," She must be so stressed, Naruto thought, listening to how her voice sounded gritty over the phone, trying to focus through his panic, "He helped me get into a negative mindset.  Those things about my getting an abortion because I would get ugly?  That's so incredibly screwed up but I believed it."

The topic change helped.  Using the random train of thought, the familiar image of Sakura's odd family, he calmed himself down through distraction.

Naruto had never understood the delicate nuances of the Haruno family.  She had her dad, who she had recently moved back in with after graduating college.  Her mom had been MIA, and presumably dead or divorced.  Either way, the only things Naruto had heard of relating to Mrs. Haruno were pictures from when Sakura was younger and a couple of times when Sakura had complained about not getting girl talks because she was surrounded by only men: men for friends, her father, male teachers, etc.

Sakura and her dad pretended to get along, but her father was an alcoholic pessimist and hated Sakura because she had her mom's face.  And since Sakura couldn't get over her image of her dad being the same guy who'd been loving, told awful puns, and sober years back, she listened to him and put up with his bullshit.

Now that he had calmed a bit, it occurred to Naruto that he was glad she got away from him, but he didn't want to say it aloud.

Then it struck him, the reason he called in the first place.

"If you're at a hotel, I'll need to have you call Hinata," Naruto realized, "she's heading to your house."

"Hinata?!" Sakura said, appropriately shocked.

"She showed up this morning where I work.  Apparently she went on a business trip with her husband so she could visit us," Naruto took a moment to catch his breath, his breathing still this side of too fast, "And she said something like she wanted to hang with you 'cause I told her that you were having a hard time."

Her voice faltered for a moment, "Oh, uh... That's very Hinata of her!  Did you notice her, uh...?"

Ah, yes.

"I noticed the breast size increase if that's what you were hinting at," Naruto rubbed his head, "You knew about it?  Why'd she get that done, anyway?"

"Okay so this is a strict secret, you tell no one, yeah?  Some gossip'll do us good," Sakura lowered her voice to her usual gossipy scandalized tone.

"Who would I tell?" Naruto grunted, "And when have I ever broken your trust?"

"Point, point.  I think, remember this is pure speculation, I think she's gotten really insecure lately because her husband hasn't been completely faithful," Sakura said in her gossip voice, "What's more, I think her husband's been cheating on her with her sister, of all people.  She mentioned that she'd been worried about why she keeps finding her sister at her house without her being home.  So that’s why I think she's gotten plastic surgery twice these past three years.  I didn't want to talk to her about the pregnancy stuff because I think part of the reason her husband might be over there macking on her sister is because she can't get knocked up or won't put out or something.  I knew if we talked at all, I'd spill the beans and it'd be like spitting in her face."

Oh, man.  Why did all his friends have so many issues?  Why was he just learning this now?  Why now?  Why was everything happening now?

What was he supposed to be feeling after all this?  Sorry that Hinata had to go through it?  Because he could barely function beyond the seething rage.

Naruto took a deep breath.

"Why is this the first I'm hearing about this?"

"It's all speculation!  I got a _wee bit preoccupied_ with my pregnancy mess and Hinata's situation that may not even exist got shoved to the back of my head.  I was having my own breakdown."

Right.

"We'd be awful friends if it was true and we did nothing.  You should talk to her and see if any of it is true," Naruto told her.

"I was planning on doing a girl’s night sometime and talking everything over, but it seems it's happening a lot sooner than I thought.  I'll squeeze out what I can, and us three can go from there."

"Good.  Because if it's true, I'll fly to China to kick that guy's ass if I need to!  No one messes with Hinata like that!  She dumped me for him, he better appreciate her!"

Naruto, listen to me," Sakura's voice turned dead serious, "Don't lead her on.  I don't care what you think, any action she could misconstrue as romantic, you can't do.  If she really is getting cheated on, she might want to cheat back.  She might look at you like you two could still have something.  She'll want that sort of love.  Don't, for your own sake, let her think it's possible.  I don't know how the Sasuke situation is going but I think it'd be tons healthier than taking her back and everyone knows it."

"I wouldn't let her cheat with me, even if I still had a thing for her," Naruto frowned, "Why do all my female friends seem to think I'm desirable?"

He wasn't all that attractive.  He had stopped working out nearly as much, so his body wasn't great.  He knew he got annoying and pushy sometimes.  That didn't spell dream guy to Naruto.

"You dated her before, she knows how to see you in a romantic fashion."

"I mean, why me?  If she's gonna cheat, there's tons of eligible guys, so why do you think she'd go for me?"

"Because you're way too nice in the wrong ways.  You ride in like a knight in shining armor and save us and who cares if you're not Prince Charming?  Also I have heard rumors that you are unbelievable in bed, so there's that."

"Hinata shouldn't spread slander," Naruto hid his face behind his palm, flushing bright red.

"And modest.  See?  You're great.  And you are there for us through thick and thin.  Why wouldn't we delude ourselves?  We want our dream guy to be like you, so why not pretend that you are that dream guy rather than go searching through a swamp of assholes?"

"It hurts me, that's why," Naruto muttered, "I don't like turning my close friends down and feeling like a piece of scum that I'm being selfish and running after this guy who might not even like me like that!"

"He told you he didn't like you?"

"No, ugh, I mean, he might not like me romantically.  He's rejected most of my advances and he said he doesn't know if he wants me to kiss him.  Even though we're planning on going on a date, he only agreed to go because I'm doing him a favor.  But sometimes he says things and I don't know if it's the rose-tinted glasses that make me think they mean he feels the same.  He wanted to spend time on his birthday with me, for instance.  He told his brother about me.  He went to go find me for this job in the first place because he thinks I'm a good photographer.  And when I remember that he's let me hold his hand and eskimo-kiss him, I think he could but it's all so vague on his side!  Oh yeah, and he told me that I'm allowed to kiss him on our date."

"Naruto... I don't mean to be harsh, but I think you're thinking too much.  It's a new relationship, he's not like you; he's going to approach it cautiously."

"I'm not being reckless!" Naruto protested.  He was taking this relationship as slow as a salty snail.  Two months and one freaking future date.  The fact Sasuke had promised him a kiss was monumental.  The day forever was a milestone marked.

"Perhaps not recklessness...  Openness?  It's a good quality actually.  You always see the best in people, you optimist.  I sometimes think your social anxiety comes from knowing if you let new people in, you would twist yourself into a pretzel to please them.  You love too easily.  You probably love Sasuke already, and he's still trying to figure out if he likes you romantically."

"...oh," Naruto sat up straight, "Oh."

"Iruka told me that you quite obviously were in love with him.  What was it he said?  That you wanted to make him happy no matter what?"

"Ah--!  Yeah, I said that, didn't I?" Naruto fisted the fabric on his leg of his pajama pants in his free hand.  His heart thumped with happiness, a smile creeping onto his face.

"I can see the dope on your face from 6 hours away."

"Shush," Naruto grinned, "Man, you have no idea.  Imagine the brightest, cutest, tiny smile in the entire world. Just seeing it makes you feel like everything just got better!  Everything in the world becomes beautiful!  Everything looks like it could be my next masterpiece, even like, my dirty shoe!  It's the best smile ever and I've seen it only twice.  Imagine that smile...  Now imagine causing it."

"You've long since fallen past the 'STOP! DANGER!' sign.  Now you're halfway in your grave and still falling.  You're gonna come out on the other side of the world if you keep this up."

Naruto pouted, "You weren't this critical when I hooked up with Hinata."

"You weren't this in love with Hinata.  When she dumped you, you were hurt, but I know you remember that conversation we had where you said you could only feel the pressure you'd been under with her when it started slipping off.  That you started to see her faults only after you no longer felt that blinding love for her."

"...so?"

"You didn't ever become happy because Hinata was.  You worked hard to keep her satisfied and it fell through at the end because you were too exhausted to register it.  You worked so hard to be this different person for her and made yourself half-miserable towards the end in hopes you wouldn't lose her.  You were in love with her, but it wasn't like _this_ , Naruto," Sakura tutted, "You're going to go through all that for Sasuke too, but this time, I think, knowing that you're making him happy will be enough for you to not feel that weight."

"You make it sound so serious," he whined, "Sasuke could dump me this second and it wouldn't destroy me like Hinata did."

"You wouldn't back down if he dumped you right now.  You'd chase after him and you wouldn't get lost until he gave you a decent chance or told you in no uncertain terms you were making him unhappy."

"I think that shows a severe flaw in my character.  No means no," Naruto groaned, "If he said no, I'm a jerk if I don't scram."

"No, it means you're determined.  No means no, but it means he's not going to date you, not that he wants to kick you out of his life."

That was a more positive way to look at it.  Naruto rested his head against his phone, "Thanks, Sakura."

"No problem.  I miss talking to you.  Hey!  It's your bedtime, isn't it?  You need sleep!  I'll call you once I'm done with Hinata."

"Yeah, okay, Sakura," He hung up with a smile.


	7. Granularity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was too much fun. Please tell me at least one of you groaned at my bad puns before the end of the chapter. Thank you for all your encouraging comments as well! I'm very happy that this fic is so well received. I owe you all a lot.

Naruto was really starting to dislike going to work.  He wanted a new job, one that didn’t require him to be up so early in the night (not morning, night.  3 am was night time and no one could convince him otherwise) and didn’t require him to wear disgusting polo shirts and deal with horrific people that triggered his anxiety.  Okay, so he was exaggerating.  He didn’t hate his work that much, but it got tiring sometimes, especially now that Kakashi spent all of his shift pissing him off.  Sheesh, work sucked when it was like this, Kakashi baiting him into snapping and trying to destroy things, but it had taken a lighter note as his phone buzzed in his pocket towards the tail end, signaling a text.

A text, Naruto grinned, from Sasuke, opening it to read the contents.

_"Meet Itachi at 1 PM at the Fleischmann Auditorium in SB Natural History Museum.  Sorry I can't come right away, I must sew the stars on Dumbledore's hat & robe before dress rehearsal at 2 PM because glue didn't work.  Bring your camera and whatever.  Sorry for ditching you with Satan.  Bye."_

Naruto cooed at the image of Sasuke being a fussy jerk and sewing the ridiculous costume frantically while everyone assured him that re-gluing it would be just fine, because it was just for a play.  Sasuke wouldn't accept anything less than perfection from himself, Naruto knew.

But, Itachi.  Just the older brother and the boyfriend only, a slightly antagonistic relationship by the laws of nature, and they would be alone without supervision.

It screamed bad things.

Naruto finished up the rest of his shift and passed off to Kakashi, who seemed to be psychoanalyzing him with a pleased smirk on his face as he wished the blonde a happy afternoon before he headed home.

He packed up his camera, his white backdrop, and desperately wished for a light source.  He was taking photos of items, which, in his own opinion, was both way harder and way easier than people.  A pair of shoes couldn't act fake in front of a camera, but sometimes it was hard to work with flat out ugly material.  No camera angle could save an ugly thing from being ugly, but a good photographer could bring emotion into ugly things.

Hopefully they were beautiful items so he wouldn't have to paint anything in an emotional light.  He wanted this to be an easy time.  It was kind of unpaid labor, although the prize was priceless.

Naruto squared his shoulders, slinging his backpack on his back.  No use stalling, he'd only piss off Sasuke if Itachi squealed on him for being late.

The Santa Barbara Natural History Museum was far enough that Naruto had to suffer public transportation.  Suffer was a harsh word, though.  He could drive if he felt like wasting the gas, but in fact, he thought the bus was fun to sit on purely because the people were so strange and so out of the ordinary that they were beautiful.

There was a business man, stiff in his suit, but there was a stain on the side of his front pockets and his shoes were scuffed.  An interview maybe.  Any job that required that sort of dress would pay well enough for the man to dress for it.

A teenager, looking barely fifteen with mousy brown hair, sat with his iPod blasting tinny music out of headphones, trying to drown out the world.  He didn't look sad per say, or angry.  Resigned?  Spending his school-less summer in a place where he was very invisible seemed odd.  Also, the scarf.  How out of place was the scarf, exactly?  It had been up in the 80’s this week, and the 90’s two weeks ago.

What really caught his eye was a girl that could've been pretty if she wasn't so wrecked.  She was hiding herself in ratty shirt ten sizes too big and heart patterned shorts that were most definitely someone's boxers, worrying a bus pass between her cracked fingernails.  Her tangled auburn hair and her sneer told him to very much stay away, that she was trying to protect herself from further insult to injury.  An instrument case stood at her side, thin, probably a flute or a piccolo, although he could think of some other instruments it could also be.

As the burning passion to capture her won over his policy to ask first, Naruto snuck his camera out of his bag and turned off the shutter noise by turning on long exposure.  A minute worth of her being still would be perfect as long as the bus didn't hit a bump.  He gleefully held his camera still and waited as she sat perfectly motionless, her eyes unblinking, her scowl as permanent as a statue.

The shot finished just as the bus rolled to a stop.  Naruto grinned, shoving his camera away as he stood up, and on his way out, he paused at the girl's seat.

Throwing her a hastily made business card, he winked, "I took your photo, so here's my number if you want a copy or to scream at me or something.  I promise I'll toss it if you have a problem with it, I just thought you were fascinating."

Her scowl turned up into a smile, "Not my best hair day."

"You look fantastic," he assured her and yelped as the bus engine started up.  Naruto ran towards the exit and jumped out the doors just before they shut.  That was a close one!

The museum stood stately and snugly in front of him and he grinned.  It did not tower, the building itself was only one story it looked like, and trees, oak maybe, surrounded the entry way.  The main door inside was an arch with two poles on each side, the words Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History in letters above.  A red tiled roof stood over the place.

It really did impress him a little, so he bounced with a bit of excitement.  A boring photography job didn't seem nearly so boring when it was in an important place like this.  Would he be taking pictures of super cool items?  Super expensive items?

And, a tiny nagging thought said, why did they want a photographer like him in the first place, if they could afford such a nice place?  Why not hire someone with a better history and more events under his belt?  Naruto squished the tiny thought.  Who gave a shit?  He was here, he was doing this job.

He wandered his way through the halls of the building by following somewhat helpful signs to the Fleischmann Auditorium.

The auditorium inside was huge, and Naruto immediately spotted the matte black hair of Sasuke's older brother.  Itachi made an imposing figure with his slender silhouette and his perfectly tailored suit, shiny shoes, and silk tie printed with... were those tiny sharks?

Naruto waved, grinning and hoping fear wouldn't defeat him.  Itachi was somehow a lot colder and odder than Sasuke.  Although they had far too many similarities to ever be mistaken as not siblings.

Itachi smiled at him back; it didn't meet his eyes.

"Sasuke told me to meet you here, for the photography stuff?" Naruto began, trying hard not to get nervous.  If his breathing got out of control or he had a social anxiety attack, then he was alone without a familiar face to get him back.  The Photo would not save him today, not with Sasuke’s older brother watching him with those crow’s eyes.  Nervousness was not an option.  He could work with tons of people at his job, so he could work with Itachi alone.

Somehow this was scarier.

"Yes, indeed he did," Itachi kept his tiny smile, which had nothing on Sasuke's despite their lips being nearly the same, "I am glad that you'd agree to do this for me. How much has Sasuke told you?"

"Just that I'm taking photos of the items to be auctioned so they can end up in some sort of catalog, I think.  He was kind of vague," Naruto scratched the back of his head.

Itachi's gentle smile only made his next words more chilling, "Not much at all, I see.  Very well, let's begin this meeting with a nice talk.  You are not to photograph anything but the items.  Any pictures of myself are to be deleted instantly, or I will sue.  The photographs you will take will be compensated by the price you normally charge, although if I find it too expensive or unsatisfactory it is within my rights to refuse both the photos and payment.  Are these terms acceptable?"

Holy shit, Naruto swallowed, taking a second to digest it all.  And he thought Sasuke was crazy around photographers.  Sasuke was totally calm.  He just let The Photo slid right off his back like water on a hydrophobic surface.

Itachi looked at him, his sharp eyes the only sign of his previous strict words.  Naruto gulped.

"That's fine.  I, uh, don't have a pricing system or anything.  I kind of thought Sasuke and I were exchanging favors for this, not that I'd get paid.  I thought this was gonna be a small sort of thing," the blonde muttered, fidgeting under Itachi's fierce stare.

Itachi started off walking towards the back, where they most likely had their items stored, "An exchange of favors?  I reassured Sasuke it wouldn't be necessary, that any camera wielding human would do, but he was adamant that the photographer be you.  I am curious as to why."

Naruto followed him towards the warehouse like room and glanced around.  Neatly organized stacks of boxes filled the room, with a section towards the back of things too precious to stuff in cubical cardboard.  Pretty much anything one could think of was stashed back here somewhere.  They had a fucking _Ferrari_.  God, what even was this auction?  He'd had suspicions that it was a bit bigger than his usual caliber and those suspicions were being more than confirmed, they were being surpassed.

"Um, maybe to save you money?  I insisted on not getting paid actually," Naruto said, his mouth working without his mind instructing it. He was too busy looking at all the fantastical items from a dream stashed in an organized mess.

"Yes.  What favor did you ask my brother for, again?" Itachi said, sounding like he very much already knew.

"A date.  I wanted a date," Naruto answered, his brain filter broken completely, "Because he's gorgeous, and he'd never say yes to a person like me otherwise."

Everything looked so expensive that he could barely believe he was looking at it.  A Ferrari for heaven's sake, a mahogany desk carved so a delicate doe and a stag curved around the back of the wood, a set of ball gowns that looked sinfully stunning in an array of different sizes, a whole case locked tight to protect fantastical gemstones set in gold and silver, paintings in styles from art nouveau to looking like they were done by old masters on the walls.

Itachi looked at him with soft eyes, "Ah, so he was being honest when he said you two were not involved.  Although I'm surprised he liked your work enough to agree to such a trade.  He isn't the type to trade important things away for so little value.  His stake in this is not so much."

"His stake?" Naruto tore his eyes away from the items, glancing over at Itachi.

"All of our items have been donated to the auction, primarily by young artists in the hopes of making a name for themselves.  The paintings are all done by amateurs.  The desk is much the same, as well as a fair number of our other pieces," Itachi pointed out each item as he spoke, "Sasuke in particular worked very hard for me, as he designed and created those ball gowns in the left corner, although it left him far more drained financially than he'll admit.  This auction is his hope that someone will notice the name of the designer and catapult him into the business."

Itachi didn't seem to be too happy about it, disapproval lurking under soft words.

"That's amazing," Naruto gaped, his eyes going back to the gowns.

One was a sleeveless thing that had intricate brocade at the top.  A sheer wisp of a shawl was laid over it and the design looked like something straight off the red carpet, except that it was real and in front of him.  Another was a bright red with black velvet trimmings, sleeves that went a touch too long and had deliberate holes for the thumbs.  Even a kimono inspired gown stood proudly with intricate white cranes on the light blue silk.

Sasuke designed all of that?  Moreover, he had sewn it?

"The Ferrari is the only thing that is not an art piece.  Nothing will sell for too much of a price, but if all goes well, a few hundred thousand dollars could end up improving hospitals and living conditions for my patients.  I admit I used a flair of extravagance that was unnecessary for the event in hopes to attract the very rich and famous."

The very rich and famous echoed in his head and suddenly he was flipping out.

"So, like, this is a _big fucking deal_ and you went with a photographer just out of college to take photos of the freaking stuff?!" Naruto panicked, "Why didn't you hire a professional with tons of experience?!"

Itachi smiled that gentle smile again, "I'm a soft older brother.  Sasuke is my precious younger brother, and his whims tend to win against my reason."

"What if I screw up?!  This is big and I'm a total amateur!  I do those shitty vacation photos _for a job_!  You _never even asked to see_ my portfolio!" Naruto tugged on his hair.

Itachi waited patiently for him to finish screeching.

"I could take shitty ass photos for all you know and I've kept all my photo stuff away from Sasuke because he's like a cameraphobe but you're like a camera _psychopath_  so how the fuck did you even know my talents?  You're pinning a large portion of your potential success on _a completely unknown variable_!  ** _Are you CRAZY?!_** "

Naruto stood, pointing accusingly at Itachi and panting, waiting for some sort of response.  Itachi let him sit there like that for a good minute of humiliation before indulging him.

"I have seen your work before, and I've been assured very recently that you're working for free, so I feel as if this is not so terrible a business decision," Itachi looked fairly smug at his reaction, "I saw the photographs you took of Karin.  She is very proud of them, and spent the latter half of Sasuke's birthday party talking about how you're a gentleman and very talented with a camera."

"The _nudes_?" Naruto croaked, "That's what you're gonna base my skill set off of?"

They were really great photos but... They were, sort of, nudes.

He wanted to start screaming again.

"The auction itself is in two weeks.  If I'm unsatisfied with your work, I'll hire a professional.  Now, we do have all afternoon, but I would appreciate if we could get started."

Naruto just about plum fell right over then and there.

Stammering, he managed a coherent, "Where should I set up my backdrop and stuff?"

And that was only the beginning of it all.

* * *

Sasuke showed up with sandwiches at 2:30.  Naruto almost eskimo kissed him but settled for sticking his sweaty nose into his muse's white t-shirt covered shoulder.  His feet ached.  He hadn't sat down since the bus he took to the Natural History museum because Itachi was a nutcase, and the sandwiches called for a long overdue break.

Sasuke shoved him away mercilessly in favor of glowering at Itachi, "Why does he look dead?"

Naruto mourned his loss but he snatched a classic Italian from Sasuke's yielding clutches and munched happily, sitting down on the floor because fuck it, his feet were killing him.  Food!  Sitting!  Sasuke!

"I did nothing to warrant that tone," Itachi lied, sounding perfectly innocent and clueless.  As if.

"He almost killed me.  It's been nonstop hauling this or that around, shooting everything seventeen billion times, and then hauling everything right back.  He told me that I'd have to move the Ferrari with my bare hands and I don't think he was joking!  You saved me.  You're my hero," Naruto said, taking a moment between bites.  The sandwich tasted awesome and fresh and he burned with a fiery appreciation for Sasukes.  There should be more Sasukes in the world.  Like 6 more.  Not too many, because then there'd be global cooling or something from his natural frosty exterior, but still.

Sasuke crossed his arms, ignoring the fact that he didn't look at all threatening with a bag of Quiznos hanging off his wrist, "Itachi!"

"He's a photographer," Sasuke's older brother answered simply, not trying to defend himself properly.

"Last I checked, he's a person too," Sasuke tossed the rest of the sandwiches to Naruto, smirking almost evilly as Itachi realized he'd just lost his belated lunch.

Naruto devoured his second sandwich with relish as Itachi's expression soured.

"My apologies, Naruto," Itachi smiled that stupid fucking smile again that was starting to drive Naruto into an uncontrollable rage.

Normally, Naruto would've snarled something like 'wow look at who just suddenly grew a conscious' but Sasuke was here and Naruto wasn't going to verbally abuse the brother of the guy he loves to his face... Too much.

"You're kind of a dick," Naruto settled with, "I like your brother much better.  But apology accepted."

"I would hope so.  I'm married and at least five years your senior," Itachi sat down on a nearby table, legs crossing elegantly.  This left Sasuke as the only one still standing.

"Agh!  Not like _that_!" Naruto protested, scooting back towards Sasuke's legs to hide from the terrible menace called Itachi.

"Do you not think my brother is attractive?" Sasuke asked idly.

"Yes--No--No--Yes?---No!  What the hell kind of question is _that_?!" Naruto whined.  Sasuke was supposed to be on his side!

"I hear that we look very much alike," Sasuke's dark eyes were cruelly playful and god if that wasn't enough to completely make him lose concentration.  Blood was rushing all sorts of places and Naruto averted his eyes.  Any more of seeing that and he'd be screwed.

"Both of you are awful," Naruto sulked, eating the last sandwich, "Gorgeous and evil always has to go together."

Sasuke sat down next to him on the floor.  It wasn't dirty, but something in Naruto's mind was surprised that he'd be joined on the ground.

"Have you photographed my designs yet?" He asked lightly, avoiding eye contact and stretching his arms back over his head.

"We waited for you for that," Naruto grinned, "Although Itachi kept fussing."

"Your items will get no special treatment, be forewarned, Otouto. If that was your plan for your pet photographer then know it has been fouled," Itachi said, sharp and strict as a military Drill Sargent.

Sasuke's eyes turned harsh, "I expect Naruto to treat my designs with the same respect he treated everything else, no more or no less.  There's such a thing as professionalism."

Naruto felt an overwhelming need to just smother Sasuke in love so thick they'd drown together in it.  Professionalism?  Fuck, he dry swallowed, just… fuck.

"Thanks," Naruto murmured, grabbing Sasuke's free hand and entwining their fingers, squishing them tight.

"And you insist that you're not dating?" Itachi said dryly, eyebrow raised.

"Hand holding is completely platonic!" Naruto grumbled.

A thumb stroked the back of his hand softly and Naruto sat up straight, suddenly feeling hot all over.  Sasuke was pointedly not looking at him.

"Very platonic.  You can't tell me that you can't imagine your hands elsewhere," the older brother commented, highly amused.

Naruto imagined it of course, now that the seed was planted in his head.  Sasuke wearing nothing at all, a red flush coming to his chest wherever Naruto dragged his hands, back arching in pleasure as he struggled to get more touch, and then he'd lean down, pin Sasuke's hands above his head, licking the pale column of his neck--Agh, bad thoughts had to stop, or else he'd get a hard-on and never live it down!   And--shit, too late.

Naruto let go of Sasuke's hand quicker than someone could say "hot potato" and scooted as far away from the dark haired man as possible.

Itachi was chuckling menacingly.

Leaning closer, Sasuke whispered in his ear, "Your erection's showing."

Naruto swore there had never been a person more red or more embarrassed in all existence than he was, and the horrible part is that the breath brushing across his ear just made his hard-on worse.

Covering his crotch with the sandwich bag, he squished his eyes shut and thought of gross things.

It was far too late for gross things to turn him off, seeing Sasuke was right _there_ , still touching him along their sides, Sasuke, gorgeous, fucking, perfect Sasuke.

Naruto whimpered a bit.

"Itachi?  I just remembered, someone left a parking ticket on the hood of your car.  I'd go see to that," Sasuke said, still horribly too close.

Itachi spoke in an appropriately angry tone, "What?  I parked properly.  Are you sure it was the right rental car?"

"Better safe than sorry.  Go check," the younger brother shrugged, leaning a little more towards Naruto and only making the throbbing in his pants just that much worse.

Itachi didn't run, he walked fast, but anyone could see he was panicked.  The door clicked shut behind him.  Left alone with Sasuke, then, Naruto thought and shivered as it sunk in.

"I can make you that hard, huh," Sasuke removed the Quiznos bag without touching him at all.  He seemed horribly fascinated and he was just looking at it and Naruto felt the damn thing stiffen and stand even more proudly just because Sasuke could see it.  How did this situation at all turn him on this bad?

"You are completely evil," Naruto groaned, his face burning an effervescent red.

"I'm not so bad.  I saved you from my brother for about a half an hour.  It'll take him that much time to realize the parking ticket is from a different car."

"You!" Naruto laughed, although the action made things brush against other things and it turned into a barely suppressed moan at the end.

"I do enjoy being a dick to my brother, and this time it actually had its uses,” Sasuke smirked, evidently very, very proud of himself, “I'd go to a bathroom if I were you."

"R-right, leaving, we are never speaking of this again!" Naruto ran off towards the employee bathroom in the back.

He could've sworn Sasuke was laughing as he left.

* * *

Naruto was in the middle of developing his favorite photos from the auction shoot.  He'd used three whole rolls of film getting everything and he still needed to do filters and make everything just perfect.  He'd even commandeered the bathroom to turn it into a dark room for the process, Kiba's bitching about his needs ignored.  After Itachi's macho anyone-can-press-a-button posturing, these photos were going to be so fabulous they'd knock his socks clean off.  Anything less meant he had lost.

So of course in the middle of developing, his cell phone rang.

He glanced at the caller ID and groaned.  Sakura.  He couldn't ignore Sakura.  She'd kill him.  Plus he'd even told her to call him with details-- but the photo would not wait.

He finished it and exited his temporary dark room, dizzy and eyes hurting from the sudden brightness.

"Does this mean I can shit again?" Kiba called from his spot on the couch.  It was Saturday and he had the day off, and was using that valuable time being generally productive in the art of pissing Naruto off.

"There's a public one down the street," Naruto grinned, wiping the sweat and chemicals off his hands and onto his plaid Bermuda shorts.  They were hideous things reserved for photo development only.

Kiba groaned and rolled off the couch, squishing Akamaru under his weight.  The dog yelped and barked but his fat owner wasn't moving.

Naruto shook his head, pulling out his phone. One Sakura to call back.

His heart raced but he took a deep breath, his Sakuraphobia almost cured.  Of course the numbers were second nature to him.  One ring, a click, and:

"Naruto!  You jerk, why didn't you pick up when I called?  You've got like, six hours to prepareyourself becauseI'vegothellanews!  OHGOSH I can'teventhedrama!"

Agh, very loud, incomprehensible Sakura.

"Now, if you could stop, and start all of that over, only slow," Naruto held the phone a good inch away from his ear.

"Okay so!  Hinata and I had a very enlightening girls' weekend.  You want good news first, I guess?"

Was it that good news got soured by following bad news?  Or that good news is best after the bad news like taking medicine with a spoonful of sugar?

"Whatever you want to talk about first.  Should I be upset that there's bad news for me to hear first?" Naruto scratched his head, leaning back against the kitchen counter, his head tilted sideways to avoid the brass cabinet handle.

Sakura huffed, "No, my female intuition is always spot-on, so good news first."

"Get with the positive announcements, then," cheered Naruto, winking though he belatedly realized she couldn't see it.  He had a bad habit of nodding or emoting with his hands and the like when he was on the phone and feeling very stupid afterwards.

"Although I already said I was, Hinata and I talked it over and it really is the best decision for me to move out on my own.  My dad is a negative influence and he doesn't understand why I want to keep my baby."

"You're gonna keep your baby?" Naruto almost dropped his phone.  What?  She'd decided already?  He'd wanted Hinata to help her out but one weekend seemed a bit sudden for a lifelong decision.

"I mean, mistakes happen.  I can still change my mind, but... I really want a family.  Maybe I imagined the babies after the wedding but kids are precious, you know?  I don't think I could live with myself if I aborted it.  I hated it so much at first, I think, because I knew all along I couldn't abort it."

He nodded, "Sakura..."

"And you know, I figured since I'm moving out, I should move over to Santa Barbara and meet your soulmate."

"What?" Naruto actually dropped his phone.  He lunged for it before it smacked into the ground and only managed to prolong the inevitable.  He failed to juggle it and both of them smacked into the floor.  Lying belly down on his kitchen, he put his phone back his ear and interrupted whatever tirade Sakura had gotten on, "What, Sakura, are you even--?!"

"I want to move to Santa Barbara.  I miss being around you, Naruto. I'm not trying to pull anything," her voice cracked a little, like she hated she had to reassure him of that, "but we're best friends.  I want you part of my life again.  I fell apart when you left, in a bad way."

"I don't own Santa Barbara," Naruto babbled, sitting upright and cross legged on the floor, "You can move here if you want to.  I'm not, like, supreme overlord or something."

"I don't want to put you in a bad situation, Naruto.  I want a family and I want to be near my friends.  That's it.  I will definitely not get between you and your man, promise."

He felt his eyes water a little, a good watering, a smile stretching his cheeks.  She really...?

Sakura, he thought happily, one of his important people, wanted to be near him, wanted to heal this stupid rift, wanted to be proper best friends again.  It was the best news he'd heard today.

Wiping his eyes, he confessed, "I missed being around you too.  And I know you'd never do anything like that, I trust you.  You're my best friend."

"Thank you, Naruto.  Honestly, I don't have words that express how much I regret acting the way I've been."

"You were a mess," he pulled no punches.

"Don’t remind me... This week, at the hotel and with Hinata, I've finally started equalizing.  Honestly?  I think getting away from my dad helped.  He's been telling me how awful I am, how I'm a slut, all this shit.  I'm not a disgrace, he's the drunk.  I miss my real dad, sans alcohol, but ever since mom died..."

"I'm sorry, Sakura..."

"No, it's not your fault.  It's mine.  I should've known moving out of the dorms back home would cause problems.  It was like a shitstorm of all the bad things that could've happened at once."

"But you're out of that situation now," Naruto rubbed his neck, eyes distracted by Kiba rough housing with his puppy.  Akamaru was barking and slapping the TV heavily with his tail.

Somehow that didn't seem safe, but Naruto trusted Kiba with his TV.  After all, the break it and you buy it policy was firmly in place.  Any destruction via canine would be fixed via funds from Kiba's pocket.  And a new TV sounded pretty nice, actually, considering the one they had was a piece of shit that couldn't handle Left 4 Dead 2.

"I wish I could say I had no mixed feelings about it, but the thought of getting to see you more and starting over is a good idea.  You can suffer my mood swings with me."

The blonde grimaced, "Ew."

"I can't promise to change all at once; I'm human.  Please, please take care of me," she sounded horribly vulnerable and he melted, just melted, "That's the only time I'll ever ask that of you."

"We'll both take care of each other," Naruto promised, "Like we always do."

She paused, "Thank you."

"So that's my good news," Sakura took a deep breath, "Ready for the bad news?"

"Um, no, but I'm not getting any more ready, so shoot."

"Hinata confirmed my suspicions. Her bastard of a husband is cheating on her with her sister."

"What the fuck!" He roared, punching his fist into the floor, "How the hell is that true?!"

"Shush you, you're probably scaring the balls off your roommate!" Sakura scolded.

Kiba had frozen in place and was wide-eyed and acting innocent, so Naruto could assume Sakura had miraculous psychic senses.

Naruto growled, "That slimy bastard!  Why didn't Hinata tell me--us?"

"Well, I had to pry it out from her and she's still insisting I don't tell you.  She knows well that as soon as I learned this, you'd know.  Apparently that's why she never told me!  She really doesn't want you to know."

"Why?" Naruto banged his head back on the cabinets behind him.

"Here's how she explained it.  At first Hinata was scared that you weren't over her and you'd figure out that she wasn't over you yet, and she wanted to be as far away from the temptation to come running right back as possible, you know?"

Yeah, that could've definitely happened if it had been soon after she'd left.  He had wanted back then for her to realize it was all a mistake, that he really loved her, that they were good together.  If she'd come running back, he'd have forgiven everything in a heartbeat.

"She was right.  I've have told her to ditch his sorry ass and come back to me," Naruto sighed, rage waiting, bubbling, simmering.

"Then it was because she didn't want to bother you with it, and felt like you'd react badly."

...react badly?  Oh, but the rage boiling under his skin was a beautiful under-reaction.

"Hell to the fucking yeah, I'm reacting _badly_.  What sort of douche-bag would do that to a girl?  Even if Hinata was ugly, _and she's not, she's fucking gorgeous_ , what sort of dick makes his girl think she's gotta get a _breast enhancement surgery_ to attract his attention back to her?!  Plus, Hanabi?!  How'd he miss that Hinata feels horribly insecure because her younger sister is a genius, and she feels she can never compare?"

Naruto was just ranting now.

"Well, there is that," Sakura sounded sheepish, "She talked about how she feels ugly for losing her husband.  She told me the divorce papers were already signed.  She's gonna be a free woman once they settle their assets.  After all, he wants to marry Hanabi and therefore will still get half the company, and Hinata's gonna end up with nothing."

" _DIVORCE PAPERS_?!  She's getting a divorce?!  She hid all of this from me?!" Naruto punched the floor again for good measure,  though his need to vent his anger didn't survive much longer after he saw the blood dripping from raw skin and felt the stinging hurt in his knuckles, "I guess it makes sense... But it hurts that she didn't trust me as her friend and tell me that sort of thing."

Naruto stood up, going for the paper towels.  He cleaned off the blood, which there wasn't much of, and held the wet paper to his cut and applied pressure.  It was sad that this action was still second nature to him.  He swore they even had Neosporin and band-aids floating around somewhere, so his kitchen first aid was completely unnecessary.

"It was a jerk thing for her to do.  And Hinata obviously still doesn't want you to know.  Maybe she's happy you found Prince Charming and are living happily ever after.  I think she knows you'd charge in and fight her battles if she let you. You do it for all your friends.  Sometimes you gotta trust us too."

He did trust his friends!  He just didn't want them to have to go through hard times.  He could handle everything bad on his own if it meant that his friends didn't have to suffer.

"I think if she hasn't shoved her husband's face into the toilet yet, she needs help," Naruto snorted, pouting a bit.  She hadn't trusted him.  That hit where it hurt.

"If Sasuke cheated on you--"

Oh, there was a bag of worms.

"Don't.  I can't say he would never cheat, although I think it'd be so unlikely it's comical, but I can say that awaiting a first date is different than being married.  Sasuke is not pledged to love me forever, and Hinata's husband did pledge to love her in sickness and in health.  They have a legal binding that he violated!"

"Okay, I get your point.  Imagine this, then.  You are suddenly married to Sasuke, only a few days after you met for the first time.  You are determined to make your marriage a success.  It seems to be going okay for the first year, because it's easy to convince yourself you love him.  You two had a smashing honeymoon, after all."

The picture formed in his head.  Sasuke, frowning as Itachi led him up the aisle, blinding white tux with two coattails just touching the ground, trailing behind him like a veil.  Naruto would be standing at the front of the building, in classic black, probably on some sort of stage, about to throw up.  Sakura, Hinata, and Karin would be on one side as the bridesmaids, and Juugo, Suigetsu, and maybe Kiba on the other side.  Maybe Kiba because Naruto would barely know him at that point, and Naruto couldn't name a lot of male friends he'd choose otherwise.

And when, the trembling nervous wrecks they both would be, they were told to recite their vows, Sasuke's voice would stay steady because he was too anal to mess up and Naruto would stumble over everything and fuck up so bad that Sasuke would glare at him the glare of death.  And the kiss.  Naruto wouldn't know that it'd be Sasuke's first kiss and he'd do it without much feeling, because any more and he'd puke all over him then faint.  And Sasuke would think the whole thing was horrible.  Just, completely, horrible.

Maybe they'd keep themselves together long enough to last a year, but Naruto wasn't sure if a beginning like that could foster anything between them.  Naruto would never stop hating that he'd had no choice in the matter, and who knows how Sasuke'd feel.  They would both try their best to love each other, although it just couldn't happen.

The horrible part is that Naruto could understand the cheating.  If he couldn't overcome the feeling of being trapped, the stiff formal mess of their marriage, he'd probably rebel against it.  He'd want out but feel obligated to stay loyal.  So an option of rebellion was cheating, and if he really did fall in love with someone else, he might cheat.

Did that make him a horrible person?

"Yeah, I can picture it.  I get her feelings, I guess," Naruto didn't want to think that he was the same sort of jerk as Hinata's soon to be ex-husband.

"It's a mess, you know.  Just imagine three years of being the only one trying to keep it all together while your significant other is off gallivanting with your sister.  Then add in that she had to dump the guy she loved days before her marriage.  I'm glad plastic surgery is all she did."

"No offense to Hinata, but she brought some of this upon herself," Naruto let himself be horribly vindictive, "She knew since the beginning of high school that she was probably gonna marry this guy.  Instead of trying to get to know him or talk her parents out of it, she pretended it wasn't happening.  From what I've heard, once the engagement was officially a thing that was going to happen, she decided in rebellion that she'd date that ruffian she'd had a crush on since forever.  Her parents could do nothing but give her shit about it and hid it from her future husband whenever he came around to get to know each other better.  While she was off sneaking out to kiss me in a darkened movie theater, her husband was probably getting to know her sister instead."

"Don't blame this on Hinata!  She's the victim here!" Sakura sounded disgusted with him.

"Yes, she's the victim.  But she's not completely blameless.  Imagine getting married knowing that the girl you think you could grow to love is a bridesmaid and your fiancée is sitting there, heartbroken, always comparing you to her ex-boyfriend you know you shouldn't know about?  They both fucked up the moment they said yes at the alter."

Sakura seemed to consider it, "Doesn't mean he's not an asshole."

"He's an asshole," Naruto agreed, "Why didn't he pull out divorce papers as soon as he thought he was gonna cheat?  Hinata would've been upset but it would not have gotten nearly this bad, because I can bet you that she thinks she's in love with him and that he still could love her."

"I know.  The drama almost makes my pregnancy look tame.  Like, I have a tiny embryo in my belly, that is slowly enlarging, so what?  It's not even showing yet!  Hinata, on the other hand, is a hot mess ever since she dumped you."

He groaned, "I can't believe she lied to me!"

"It was to protect you," Sakura sighed, "And I get why she pulled it.  Now, I sent her back down there to you because I'm going to work on securing some new housing and moving shit."

"I'm... How should I act around her?  Like I don't know she's a wreck?"

"That's the general idea."

Yeah, that was helpful.

"Sakura!" Naruto whined, "I don't know how to fake ignorance!"

"You don't need to."

"Fuck you, you know what I meant," he pouted, examining his knuckles.  They'd long stopped bleeding, so he shook off the paper towel on to the floor, where he fully intended to pick it up later.  Or maybe he'd leave it for Kiba, if he was feeling mean or lazy.

"Just... don't mention it and just take her around.  She's leaving back to China soon, you know!"

"I know that," he mourned.

"Remember, no romance!  Show her how absolutely insane you are for your man and crush her hopes painfully!" Sakura cheered.

Naruto blinked slowly, "What?"

She wanted him to reject Hinata painfully?  To reject her advances instead of just ignoring them?

"Just generally be not single in her presence, if you have to," the cotton candy haired woman explained.

"Sasuke will barbecue me," Naruto moaned.  The death glare that would accompany any stereotypical lovey-dovey behavior would roast him alive.  His dark god had shoved him off whenever he was affectionate, Naruto could just imagine the anger if he was overly so.

"Tell him to save me the thighs," Sakura hummed.

"S'not funny."

"I think it's very funny."

Naruto flexed his fingers, a little impatient and bored, "I can't risk ruining my relationship with Sasuke to pacify Hinata.  I'll turn her down blatantly if I need to but I'm not going to flaunt whatever I've finally got started with Sasuke so she can get the hint.  I respect him more than that."

Sakura quieted for a while.  He thought a clock might be ticking on her side, it was quiet enough.  Finally, after inhaling, she said softly, "Your world just revolves around him and you don't even mind."

"My respecting his boundaries is common sense," Naruto scrunched up his nose.

"Well, yes, but that's not like you.  You're acting based off of what you think he wants even if it inconveniences you.  That's opening his door for him while you're in crutches," Sakura made a frustrated sound, "At this rate, he'll destroy you when this breaks down.  You'd be so far gone you couldn't live without him, like, he's your universe or something."

"Yeah, I love him," Naruto told her simply, "but it's like pizza.  Cheese pizza is good, yeah?  It's a good pizza.  But you can add toppings, and then it's still a pizza."

"Where are you going with that metaphor?" she laughed, incredulously.

He snorted, "You didn't let me finish!"

"Okay, tell me."

"I'm a whole person.  He's not my world or my universe or anything stupid, he's the toppings to my pizza.  And I'm good whether or not he's there.  I'm a complete pizza."

"That made some sense in a convoluted way," Sakura spoke with a happier sort of airy tone, teasing.

"I think you're very harsh," he rolled his eyes, "Sasuke's my sausages and pepperoni and damn, he tastes good.  But I taste pretty damn good without him too.  I just want me some sausage."

He could _hear_ her losing it, cackling in the background.

"Metaphor!" He admonished, "I didn't mean--!"

"Someone wants the D!" She shrieked gleefully, and Naruto swore Kiba heard it halfway across the apartment.

"Sakura!"

"I want me some sausage, oh my fucking god, that's what she said!"

Naruto blushed, "I might've said that wrong."

"Hell yes, you did, and it's hilarious."

"I'll hang up on you!"

"Do you need to get some sausages...?"

"...no," Naruto pouted, nursing his wounded pride.

"Hmm you know what sounds like with sausage?  Sasuke.  Sasuke sausage.  Sasuke's sausage."

"I'm dying over here, Sakura, dying!"

Sakura giggled, "You want Sasuke's sausage all over you.  Or is it in you, considering you said he's topping?"

"I'm hanging up on you!" Naruto hissed, bright red and blushing up to his ears.

"Uhuh, keep telling yourself that--"

He hit the end button with sadistic glee.

He ignored her next two calls on principle.  Besides, those photos weren't developing themselves.


	8. Halation

Hinata showed up that evening at his doorstep, dressed to the nine’s in a sharp pencil skirt and a flower print blouse that she’d failed to fully button up, completing the look with her long dark hair tied back into an artfully messy ponytail.

He hadn't forgotten Sakura’s warning that she was coming back, but he hadn't expected her nearly so soon.

It was just after six or so when she had rang the doorbell.  It was about then Naruto realized his apartment was a royal mess.  The biggest royal mess ever.  Dirty ramen cups, socks on the kitchen floor, dog hair everywhere, it was a masterpiece snapshot of the single bachelor life.  Naruto felt like a slob.  He should've cleaned!

When he swung upon the door sheepishly, he caught Hinata off guard and she tumbled, unnatural large boobies and all, right into him.  Naruto winced, setting her back to rights.  Damn bastard, cheating on a sweet girl like her, fucking--

Deep breaths, he reminded himself.  He wasn't supposed to know about that.

"Hey!" He grinned, having to choose between being rude enough to shut her out to hide the mess and Kiba, or letting her into their messy place like his good manners demanded.  Naruto went with letting her inside.  She had to meet Kiba eventually.

"Sorry it's a mess," he excused, scratching the back of his head.

"I think it looks very clean for housing two single men," she said, and somehow it felt like a hint to something.  Why did she say single?  Was she implying...?  No, this was Hinata of all people.  She wasn't sneaky.  At worst, she lied by omission, and that's it.

"Speaking of that guy... Kibbles!" he called, hoping that Hinata and Kiba would finally meet and he'd stop thinking about the what-ifs.

Kiba strutted out of their shared bedroom wearing only his leather pants.  Upon seeing Hinata, he stumbled over nothing, miraculously regained his balance in time to avoid faceplanting, and gawked.  Of course he was already making a fool out of himself, Naruto mentally slapped his forehead.

The brunet stared at her, enraptured, and Naruto took pity on him.

"Hinata, this is Kiba Inuzuka.  He's my roommate and a year younger than us," he introduced, "And Kibbles, this is Hinata Jindong--"

"Hinata Hyuuga, please," Hinata looked appropriately bashful, "I'd prefer to use my maiden name from now on.  I know Sakura told you everything."

Naruto glanced at her, noticed how her pale eyes avoided his own out of shame, and wanted to kick her damn husband in the jaw.

"Fuck," Kiba muttered, very much disappointed, eyes falling from Hinata's face to the ground, "You're married?"

"Getting a divorce," she said just this side of too quickly, with one of those small smiles that Naruto knew too well.  Those were what he used to call Hinata's flirting, her way of telling him that she wanted sex.  And there was one.  Right there.  Directed right at Kiba.

Kiba winked at her, thumbs tucking into his pants.

Shit, Naruto thought, I've created a _monster_.

"Hinata's my ex from high school and a bit of college," Naruto warned Kiba, trying to convey in tone what he couldn't say aloud.

'She's dangerous, man,' he said using eyebrow movements and nose scrunches, 'she dumped my ass on the streets.'

Kiba seemed to get it, and he deflated a little.  Not nearly enough, but he was at least going to be more cautious.

Or, not at all.

"It's nice to meet the most beautiful girl in the world," Kiba sent Hinata sultry eyes and a lazy grin, having rolled back on his heels a bit.

This idiot was trying to be suave and he seemed to forget he had already embarrassed himself in front of her.

"Oh, um, I--!  Thank you, um," Hinata blushed heavily, "Can I call you Kiba?"

The brunet blinked, "As opposed to what?  Kibbles?"

"Oh, um!  I thought, perhaps, that you'd like to be referred to with less familiarity," Hinata fiddled with her fingers.

"You can call me anything you want," Kiba grinned, "In fact, you can call me anytime."

Like a damn smooth bastard, he whipped out a pen from the counter and a napkin.  Within seconds, he had it written down and in Hinata's hand.  Naruto was a little in awe.  Talk about style.

She blushed, smiled that flirty smile again, and the two stared at each other a bit, leaving one very left out blonde to comprehend what he had just seen.

"Did you two just seriously hook up in front of me?" He asked, more of the universe than anyone actually able to answer, and rubbed his forehead.

Kiba and Hinata were completely absorbed in one another, talking about something.  It looked, as the brunet motioned to his six-pack, like it was about working out or gyms or masculine posturing or something equally mind-numbing.  To Naruto's horrified amazement, Hinata reached out and stroked Kiba's abs with absolutely no shame whatsoever.  Her thumb ran up his happy trail and he shuddered in pleasure.

Naruto covered his eyes, yelping, "No!  No shameless PDA is allowed while I'm not getting laid!"

He made shooing motions at Kiba.

"That's your own damn fault," Kiba rolled his eyes, but he wandered off to retrieve a shirt and left a suddenly ashamed Hinata alone with the blonde.

She stuttered, "I, I can explain--"

"Sakura explained it to me.  I've been through it before too, I get it.  I had my own string of failed relationships after you," Naruto rubbed his forehead.  He felt a stress headache coming on. How did he get himself into these situations?

"Please, don't think badly of me," she pleaded, painfully sincere with her heart in her eyes, horribly young features twisted up in honest regret, "I must seem so awful and shallow, but I swear, I can't help it.  I've been alone for so long I thought I'd go mad, wishing that I could somehow create a change, to make the lie I told you the truth.  I spent those years thinking it was my fault our relationship was failing, because I was somehow unlovable.  I was devoured by the crippling insecurity I created from blaming myself for not being enough," she took a deep breath and confessed, "It's been three years since a man told me I was beautiful."

Three years, Naruto winced.  Same length of time since they broke up.  The length of time she had been married.

A pang of old memories assaulted him of how happy they had been, how crushed he'd been when she told him that everything was perfect, and old scabs stung as Hinata inadvertently reopened them.

"Kibbles is a good person, Hinata," the blonde sighed, "Don't pull any shit on him like you did to me."

Hinata's eyes watered up and she stared at her feet determinedly, "I won't make the same mistakes twice."

"So it's a mistake now," he huffed, a mostly forgotten anger creeping up on him.  Hinata was good at bringing up things he shouldn't still feel.

"I always felt like it was, to be honest.  I was never happy.  I really did love you," she smiled at the ground, "We were good together."

"Yet you ran off anyway."

"I chose to give you up because my parents' approval meant more to me than your love. I'm sorry, but while I loved you, I didn't love you nearly as much as I thought I did."

"I know," Naruto whispered, old hurts smarting in his chest.

She brushed an escaped strand of long hair behind her ear, "You've found happiness again.  You've been happy without me for a while, I think.  Sakura told me you found Mr. Perfect."

"He's not perfect," Naruto groaned, "because he's an asshole and manages pretty and smart and badass all at once.  He's not fair and he gives me far too many erections in public and half the time I want to punch his lights out!"

"You're going to tell me when the wedding is?" Hinata smiled innocently, and the sound of Kiba exiting back into the living room cum kitchen distracted her from any evil she had been planning.

Kiba was decked out in his good white button down shirt and his leather jacket to match his pants, his hair tussled and moussed up into a semblance of a styled mess.  Naruto appreciated the sight of the leather covered rump and gave his roommate a thumbs up and a wink, nodding his head subtly to Hinata.

Hinata, who was suddenly speechless.

"I know she came here to see you, but do you mind if I take your lady friend out for the evening, Naruto?" Kiba grinned.

"Ask her yourself," Naruto had encouraged this behavior, he had brought this upon himself.

"I'd love to get to know you, um, better!" Hinata looked horribly eager.  Horribly eager.

Naruto wanted to turn around and yell 'nanananana-Ican'thearyou' as he stuck his fingers in his ears.  But, he was not a teenager.  He was an adult, he could handle these two having an adult relationship.  He'd had sex with one of them after all.  He had to be the bigger man.

"Oh--uh--Me too," Kiba stared at her, surprised she agreed before he even asked.  Then suddenly the surprise melted and he gained a certain look in his eyes.

It was really hard to be the better man.  Naruto's shoulders slumped.  His friends were officially driving him crazy.

* * *

Naruto worried his Manila envelope between his thumbs.  He'd knocked on the door to Sasuke's room.  For some reason, even though he'd arranged this whole thing the afternoon before, he was nervous.  After all, he'd basically invited himself over.

The door clicked open, a sleepy looking Suigetsu grinning out at him, "Naruto!  You caught us at a bad time.  Karin and Juugo are out working and the princess is out drinking enough coffee to kill a horse in an attempt to wake himself up, this gorgeous morning.  He had a late night."

"Doesn't he have morning classes?" Naruto asked, following the white blonde into the now increasing familiar apartment.  Everything smelled weird, but he couldn't place the smell, "Don't you have morning classes?"

"He ditched," Suigetsu rolled his eyes.

"He ditched?  Why?" Naruto pocketed his hands, leaning against the set of kitchen counters that separated the kitchen from the living room.  Suigetsu was making toast and sardines, something that looked unappetizing enough that Naruto gagged a little.

Suigetsu slurped a sardine up from the top of his toast, licking his lips.  He seem to only belatedly remember his guest even existed. Turning, he grinned wickedly, "Sasuke's been arguing with Itachi like they always do.  Sasuke loves science and he wouldn't be majoring in it if he didn't want to.  But Itachi's always badgering him to drop Fashion entirely.  So it pisses Princess off and then suddenly it's World War 3 up in here."

Naruto realized, "No wonder Itachi was being a dick about those dresses!  I'm surprised they didn't fight after that."

"Itachi and Sasuke hate public displays.  In fact, Sasuke hates public anything," Suigetsu finished his disgusting breakfast.

"It's hard to get a grip on their personalities," The golden blonde bemoaned, "I wish I knew more things about Sasuke that I can't just ask."

Suigetsu laughed, "Like what?  The length of his dick?"

"Not things like that, Sharkbait!" Naruto punched him in retaliation, hard enough to hurt.

Suigetsu somehow slithered out of another half-hearted punch Naruto threw his way, and he wondered briefly if he desperately needed gym time.  He hadn't really been trying but all of his hits should at least connect...

"Kidding, kidding.  But I'll still tell you when he lets me get a measuring tape near his junk," Suigetsu smirked, his shiny teeth flashing.

It did bring to mind, what sort of a package did Sasuke even have...?  Probably nothing like his own, maybe longer or--Naruto put the brakes on that thought.  Awkward erections lie in that direction.  But the possibilities were endless and he found his mind wandering back--

"What sort of thing did you want to ask?" Suigetsu thankfully interrupted his train of thought.

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, grinning, "Like his favorite color or his favorite food or like, all those little things that you never really know about a person but are kind of important?"

"He doesn't have a favorite color, because he's an artist, you know, that typical bullshit about how every color is good in the correct placement," Suigetsu rolled his eyes, "but boy does he have favorite fashions and cuts and did I ever tell you about that one time I was wearing this pair of pants?"

"Go on..." Naruto leaned forward, listening intently.

The white blonde waved his hands wildly to accent his story, "Sasuke sees me standing line the lunch line in these baggy nineties throwbacks and just pales within an inch of his life, which is hard for him because he's paler than cottage cheese.  Then he gets the most furious I've ever seen him towards me and he, just, he fucking _rips_ them off me, no mercy, in public, in front of my girlfriend of the moment--just grabs them at waist band and tears the pants in two, a damn feat of superhuman strength, and I'm wearing these stupid 'Obama is your mama' boxers and everyone is _staring_.  You could hear a pin drop in the cafeteria!  And the bastard glared at me and told me in a voice so cold--it'd kill polar bears, no joke--that if he ever saw me wearing another atrocious monster like that, he'd skin me and turn me into fillet mignon!"

Naruto erupted into laughter, holding his stomach from the barking chuckles escaping him.  He could even see the expression, the little sneer of disgust!

"What'd you wear for the rest of the day?!" Naruto giggle-snorted, lips stretched wide and teeth flashing.

"Karin was my goddess and she sweet-talked Sasuke into switching with me," Suigetsu smirked, "I lord it over everyone that I got into Sasuke's pants.  And it was way awkward because I'm taller than him."

Naruto laughed harder, his eyes watering a little, "Sasuke went around in his boxers _all day_?"

"Wouldn’t that have been a sight?  But no, the bastard's a fashion student,” Suigetsu mourned, “He ended up wearing a work-in-progress of his.  When asked, Princess said he was advertising the school's upcoming theatre show.  Damn bastard."

"Smart," Naruto grinned.

Suigetsu snorted, "Princess is damn near a genius but you'll never see another person more competitive, or harder on himself.  Giving him compliments is really tricky.  Say the wrong thing and he's insulted instead of flattered."

"That sounds like him," Naruto thought aloud, "but he hasn't snapped on me like that yet."

"He likes you in a way he doesn’t like me.  He doesn't know it yet, but he does," Suigetsu waggled his eyebrows, "The only other person he treats with this much consideration is Karin.  He's got a soft spot for her.  It's funny to see them all cuddled up together and reading books and generally being smart together.  They're a force of nature, man, and they're both going down that artistic pathway.  It’s almost a shame.  You know?"

"Uh," Naruto's gut twisted, "Do you think he...?"

"No!" Suigetsu huffed.

"You made it sound--"

He side-eyed him, "He never has gone after her and she's been into Sasuke for years, all the way back to middle school.  She knows he's not interested.  And she knows I am.  Have been since forever, too!  Karin's a rejecting machine.  If I were a lesser man, I'd of died."

"Sasuke told me you liked her," Naruto shrugged, "She's a good person."

"Don't I know it?" Suigetsu's eyes softened.

"You really like her, huh?" Naruto teased.

The sound of a door clicking open signaled that Sasuke had returned from his early afternoon coffee run.  Just the sound had Naruto's heart beating faster in his chest, and the smell of coffee and the sound of footsteps made his throat go dry with desire.  And, there, in the doorway, wearing so little (the least Naruto had ever seen on him) it was scandalous, was Sasuke, with mussed hair and a pissed off expression, lip sticking out in a sneer and eyes stormier than thunderclouds.

_Baby_ , Naruto cooed in his mind, because angry Sasuke could get really scary or really cute depending on why he was mad.  This was cute anger, like, indignation or something.  He just wanted to nuzzle his cheeks and give him Eskimo kisses until he calmed down.

"Right," Sasuke's anger was shed like so much dead snake skin as he spotted the extra blonde in his kitchen, "You said you were bringing the photos for Itachi's stupid auction."

"No hello?" Naruto teased, having a hard time keeping his eyes off of all the new skin.

Shorts, damned white shorts, that stopped just above the knee, and they were sinful things.  The shirt was a royal blue with an odd sort of upturned collar.  It was glorious, because it was short-sleeved.  Thin arms with developing muscle and legs that made Naruto's blood rush.  And, to Naruto's ultimate surprise, seemingly hairless. 

Not a usual choice for guys, of any sexuality, to be honest.  Was it a trick of the light?  Naruto couldn't imagine having to shave his legs and arms.  He just got away with having lots of hair everywhere because he was a man and it was all blonde and mostly invisible anyway.  But Sasuke's hair was black, unless the carpet didn't match the drapes.  Hard to imagine that being true however, because Itachi had a similar color, if not a bit more washed out than Sasuke's.  Black body hair was hard to hide.

Sasuke had apparently said something while he was gawking.

"Um, repeat that?" he scratched his cheek, avoiding his muse's eyes.

"Don't push your luck," Sasuke snorted.

Suigetsu looked between the two of them, "I could cut the unresolved sexual tension in this room with a knife."

Sasuke sputtered into his coffee.

"We haven't even kissed yet!" Naruto smacked his forehead, blushing.

"Unresolved romantic tension sounds dumb."

"Unresolved murder case sounds glorious," Sasuke drawled, sitting down with his coffee at the card table that seemingly served as their sole eating place.  The plastic bag in his other hand with the Starbucks logo told of more purchases, but Naruto couldn't figure out what else people bought at Starbucks other than coffee.  And coffee didn't go in plastic bags.

The darker blonde moved from the counter to sit next to the coffee fiend at the table, eying him gratuitously.  So much skin, all of it exposed.

And to fulfill his earlier curiosities, Sasuke's arms did indeed have hair.  It looked soft and thin, and a lighter color than Sasuke's jet-black hair.  It was so thin and dainty that from a distance it didn't look like it even existed.  Fuck, it was adorable, and Naruto bet that his legs were much the same.

"I brought the photos," Naruto grinned, pulling out his Manila envelope.  It landed on the card table with a thump, thick and heavy.

Sasuke paused in his drinking, "Show me mine."

"Say please, at least," Naruto grumbled.  The day when Sasuke grew some curtesy or politeness would be a sight to see.

Sasuke just sat there, drinking coffee, one perfectly shaped (did he tweeze them?  No, like the hair situation, Naruto bet they just grew perfect, damn lucky bastard) eyebrow raising in condescending superiority.

Naruto didn't budge.  He could hold his own.  Slowly, as if he was talking to a child, he repeated, "Say please."

"You astound me," the raven drank a long sip of his coffee, looking irritated, but not enough.

Naruto wanted to see him screaming in fury, emotion painted on his face, looking gorgeous and vulnerable. 

And so, he poked the tiger again, "If you want to see the photos, you'll have to say please.  Come on, beg a little."

That did it, Sasuke snapped.  His upper lip curled, nose scrunched, eyes burning, teeth clenched, and he made a low sound in the back of his throat that went straight to Naruto's dick.

Sasuke legitimately just growled at him.

Growled, Naruto thought.  Shit, that shouldn't sound sexy, he's getting to the angry scary mad, not the cute mad, why was it so arousing?

"Oh man," Suigetsu whispered, "The tension comes to a head!"

"Shut up, Suigetsu," Sasuke snapped, but his anger dissolved at the intrusion.  Part of Naruto was relieved it had, another part wanted to see how far he could push before they came to blows.

"I'm just saying, you should just fuck Blondie.  Won't it feel good to toss all that virginity off your shoulders?" Sasuke's roommate raised his eyebrows, smirking with one tooth showing just at the side of his mouth.

"It'll feel good to toss you off a building," Sasuke snorted, his eyes settling back on Naruto with a new intensity, "Don't ever tell me to beg again, fucking asshole."

As an afterthought, he added, " _Please_."

"Next time just say please," Naruto said, but he leaned forward and Eskimo kissed Sasuke on the cheek, his hands finding Sasuke's and entwining the twenty of their fingers to show all was forgiven.

Sasuke huffed, but Eskimo kissed him back anyway.  Somehow, Naruto thought, he wasn't mad anymore, just like he hadn't been when he'd started it.  That all that bickering was just them riling each other up as an essential part of their relationship.

They were at the married couple fighting and they hadn't even gone on a date yet.

"I need my hands back," Sasuke said plainly, detaching Naruto in seconds without remorse, drinking his coffee yet again.

Naruto eyed the coffee cup in distaste.  To be blown off for a warm drink was unacceptable, he thought, planning his retribution.  Once the correct wording had formed in his head, his eyes danced with mischief.

"So how do you like it?  Hot?  Dripping?  Sweet?  Thick, rich?  Dark?  Steamy?" Naruto whispered into Sasuke's ear, blowing a little.

The raven choked, coughing and blushing bright red.

"No dirty talk in the kitchen," Suigetsu reprimanded, pretending to be scandalized.

"All I asked was how he took his coffee," Naruto grinned like the cat who'd gotten the canary.

Sasuke hissed, "You're both disgusting.  With milk, if you must know."

"No sugar?" Naruto couldn't imagine coffee with milk and no sugar.  The black stuff was okay plain, but the presence of milk demanded sugar like a whiny girlfriend demanded her prom outfit match her boyfriend's rented last minute tux.  The coffee was the annoyed friend having to fly solo or put up with the loving couple.

"Sugar on occasion, when he's not on a health kick," the white blonde clued Naruto in, "because he's lame like that.  And he’s almost always on a health kick.  Some days all he eats is a tomato and rice."

"Shut up, Suigetsu!" Sasuke crossed his arms, his glare set to full deadly.

Suigetsu squeaked and ran away to his room, which really was too bad, because Naruto enjoyed learning things about Sasuke that he wouldn't dare mention.

"I bet you have an awful sweet tooth," Naruto teased.

"I do not," Sasuke directed that glare to Naruto.  Thankfully, it didn't work on him at all.

It just egged him on.

"You only don't eat sugar because you're health conscious," Naruto grinned widely, leaning in, "But if sugar wasn't bad for you, you'd eat sweets all day long."

Sasuke shoved Naruto's face away violently, "You're not funny, stalker."

Naruto laughed, because seeing Sasuke so flustered was gorgeous.  Perfect.  God, he loved him so much.

Sasuke watched him laugh for a while, stone-faced, but Naruto caught the sight of a smile curling up the corners of his mouth.

He just stopped laughing so he could stare.  Sasuke's smiles would never get old.  They were treasures.  They were worth more than anything that existed on this earth.

"I love it when you smile," Naruto confessed, gazing into his favorite pair of dark eyes.  Sasuke's cheeks started to color, and he blinked like he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"You always say things like that," he muttered under his breath, "And I don't know why it bothers me."

Naruto's grin faltered a little, "I can stop--"

"No!" Sasuke said, a little too fast and a little too loud, "You can't stop saying things like that.  That's no good."

Naruto's mouth formed an awestruck sort of O, and he didn't want to smile too soon in case he'd misunderstood somehow.

"It never bothered me when other people said stupid things like that!  Why is it only with you?" Sasuke stood up, frustrated, shaking his head, "Why do I not want you to stop?  I'm not supposed to be scared of you!"

"You're not," Naruto reached out, grabbing Sasuke's wrist, "That's not fear."

Sasuke's shoulders shook a little, his head hung, his eyes squeezed shut, "It has to be.  You open your damn mouth and I get arrhythmia and vertigo and perspiration! Those things are things that happen because I'm scared, and I'm not supposed to be scared!  You can't hurt me!"

"It's not fear," Naruto repeated, pulling Sasuke's wrist up so he could hold his hand, gently.

"What the fuck is it?"

"If you were scared, you wouldn't be panicking like this.  Wouldn't you, because I know you're perfectly rational, find the source of your fear and eliminate it, or failing that, get yourself somewhere safe?  The last thing you'd do is panic.  You know I won't hurt you, and that I couldn't if I tried.  This thing you're feeling, I feel it too.  So it can't be fear."

Sasuke's features smoothed out in some realization.  He looked at his hand, warming in Naruto's palm, a thumb stroking soothingly over it, and then back up at the blonde's face.  His mouth opened a little, his eyes comically wide.

"Oh," he said.

Naruto grinned at him.

"Oh," he mocked, tone easy, in a falsetto that evidently offended Sasuke.

Sasuke cuffed him around the head with his free hand, rolling his eyes, "Shut up."

"Ow!  You're so mean, why do I like you so much again?" Naruto whined, but he squeezed the hand in his comfortingly, enjoying how it squeezed back.

Sasuke's attention directed itself back to the Manila envelope.  Naruto could feel the dark eyes on the thick tan paper, and perhaps, if he was kind enough to mutter please...  Naruto waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"I already said your damn curtesy," Sasuke growled, "Don't make me just take them from you."

"Ah!" Naruto shook his head.

"I could beat you in a fight," the raven warned him.

"I'd not count on that.  I've boxed all through high school and done mixed martial arts in college.  You're a beginner kick boxer," the blonde cautioned.

Caving in, willing to fight more (lots more, Naruto could see the injured pride in his eyes screaming for a fight) but backing down in common sense, Sasuke held out his free hand, "Please."

Naruto laid the envelope in his hand, grinning.

His muse pulled out the thick stack of photos, flipping through them quickly.  His expression didn't change much but he wasn't really looking, Naruto could tell.  He had a single minded interest in the pictures taken of his masterpieces.

Once he hit them, Sasuke's eyes shined and a smirk crept onto his lips.  Which evidently meant he was very very pleased with them.

Naruto felt his heart thudding in nervous pride.  He always did good work, would Sasuke really really see it?  Would he say something?

"They're not bad, for a button-pressing monkey," Sasuke decided, but it was a front and as much as a compliment as he'd get to his face today.

"Not a button-pressing monkey, pretty-boy," Naruto grumbled, but he was smiling anyway.  Sasuke liked the photos, that much was clear.

Sasuke waved a photo in front of him, "Look, the cranes are all visible.  Remember how long those cranes took?"

Naruto blanched, "A damn fifteen minutes, that's how much."

The little detailed cranes were gorgeous and Naruto had a full-fledged nightmare getting them focused in his photo.  They were a fucking headache.  Sasuke refused to let them go unseen and Naruto refused to move closer and sacrifice his angle.  They had screamed at each other a little.

Okay, a lot, he had lied.

Sasuke sighed, "I haven't forgotten when you threatened to paint them over.  You're still on my hit list."

Painting over cranes was the same as killing puppies in Sasuke's book judging on the disgusted look he was sent for the mere memory of that admittedly ill thought-out comment.

"Pfft, hit list?  You adore me."

"Right after Itachi but before Suigetsu," Sasuke deadpanned.

Naruto paled.  The cranes were serious business.

Then, only turning his head a little and turning the conversation a whole 180, Sasuke said, "I owe you a date."

"Ha ha, um, yeah!  You do!" Naruto scratched the back of his head, straw-colored tuffs getting tangled around his fingers.  He tugged on them under the raven's scrutiny.

It didn't save him.

"You don't have anything planned, do you?" Sasuke accused, his eyes narrowing.  They looked hard, like black marbles, and a desire struck Naruto to get up close and check that Sasuke was still human and not a doll.

He looked too damn good.  Porcelain skin and pitch hair, marbles for eyes, a mouth a delicate painted rouge.

Although, no doll pulled off all that irritation quite that well.

"...no?" he admitted sheepishly, dropping his hand from his hair.

"No movies.  No beaches.  Not dinner," Sasuke commanded, articulate and sharp.  He was damn sexy with that face and that voice; it sent shivers down Naruto's spine.  But it also managed to annoy the shit out of him.

"Damn, what else can we even do?" Naruto complained.  All the easy date ideas were totally out!  He'd have to pull a miracle out of his ass in date creating creativity.  That type of creativity had been completely ignored in favor of photography.  Naruto was pretty sure it had ceased to exist somewhere along the line.

This didn't impress Sasuke.

"A gym," Sasuke drummed his free hand on the table, "We could go to a gym and beat the shit out of each other.  Then lunch."

"That's not romantic," Naruto protested weakly.  He hadn't been to a gym in forever.  He'd be totally slow and easily winded.  Not cool to look on a first date.

"Hm, but my foot in your sternum sounds like a lot of fun," the raven hummed lazily, very content with his one hand in Naruto's and his other grabbing hold of his forgotten coffee.  There couldn't be much left in there, but he drank from it all the same.

"I don't like you," Naruto whined, saved from truly lying by technicality.

"Of course not.  You love me, five-ever."

That he did, he thought, his heart stopping.

He'd never wanted a person around so much.  He'd never seen someone and thought, there, that's it, but he saw Sasuke and took The Photo and suddenly he'd found himself falling so hard that he had smashed through the earth's crust and gone farther.

And he knew Sasuke understood it, and felt something at least passing as similar.  Nothing was better than that guarantee.

"Rock climbing?" Naruto suggested, struck by sudden motivation, "Less chance of me coming home with a broken face."

"I approve," Sasuke shrugged, but somehow still managed to look excited.  He'd sat just a bit taller, his impassive face now looking a bit forced and the very corners of his mouth turned up in something that was struggling to become a smile.

Naruto grinned, "No, you love that idea.  You think it's fabulous."

"Drag queens are fabulous.  Alexander McQueen's designer fashions are fabulous.  Your ideas are mediocre," he huffed.

"Who's Alexander McQueen?"

Sasuke dropped his hand like Naruto had suddenly gotten rabies, and rasped in horror, "...Get out."

"Sasuke!  You can't kick me out for that!" Naruto tried to reclaim his lost hand.  Sasuke swatted him away before he got close to that goal, shuddering and hissing if he got too close.

In fact, Naruto was almost positive Sasuke would call him either an Infidel or a Heathen before the end of this conversation with how he reacted to his ignorance.

"No, I can't speak to you, you're lowly scum."

Scum, not heathen.  Still painful.

"Ouch, rude much?" Naruto rubbed at his chest, trying to ease his bruised ego.  What was so important about this Alex Queen person anyway?

"You disgust me.  Leave my lodgings immediately," Sasuke demanded.

He implemented his demands by placing his hands, palms out, wide spread on the blonde's chest, hesitating only a second before pushing with enough force to topple a lesser man.

Naruto pushed back, trying to remove Sasuke's hands, "Hey, hey!  What are you doing?"

"Making you leave my dorm."

Sasuke was halfway to that goal too.  Naruto was edging closer and closer to the exit every time he lost concentration, which happened a lot because Sasuke's hands were a hair's width from his nipples and the thought of mystery meat meatloaf couldn't save him from another awkward erection if he actually touched the sensitive things.

And then, adjusting his hands for better grip, Sasuke's palm landed right on one and Naruto wanted to cry a little.

"You're touching my chest in a bad place--" Naruto whined as Sasuke flushed furiously and socked him in the stomach with a punch too painful to be called friendly, "--fuck!  I didn't deserve that!"

"You did too."

"You're cruel."

"I know that to be fact," Sasuke seemed to be a little smug about that.

Naruto pulled out his ultimate weapon, "Nipple-toucher."

"Do you like asphyxiation or drowning?" His muse shot back, eerily smirking, visage darkening.

"Um, neither, why are you holding a fork?" Naruto took a step back.  When had Sasuke grabbed the fork?

"After you die, I will cut off your head and mount it on the fork as a warning," Sasuke explained, tossing the fork up and grabbing it by the handle in a move that most men spend years learning to look impressive in front of girls.

"You should come with a label that says 'CAUTION: DON'T LET NEAR SHARP OBJECTS' or something!" The blonde wailed, inching backwards.

"That would make it more difficult for me to be a serial killer."

"I sincerely hope you are joking."

"I don't joke."

"That's bullshit!  You joke all the time!"

"I don't joke."

Naruto pulled out his cellphone and mimed calling 911.

"Oh no, I have to call the police, there's a serial killer in here--!  Ack, no, that's delicate!" Naruto wrung out his injured hand after saving it from Sasuke's vice grip.

"Are you going to call the police?"

"No, you missed the sarcasm!"

"Ugh.  You disgust me.  Leave."

Naruto headed towards the door, before stopping and asking, "So Saturday morning?  I'll switch hours with a coworker and work the evening."

"No, don't do that.  I'll let you do dinner if that fits your schedule," Sasuke shook his head.  Cute, Naruto thought, he caved as soon as he thought he was possibly inconveniencing him.

"Nah, I hate waking up so early every day.  I'd appreciate the break from routine," Naruto winked and flashed him a thumbs up.

"If that's how you feel, Saturday morning I can do," his muse agreed, approaching to walk Naruto out, like a gentleman.

"And lunch?"

"And lunch," Sasuke brushed his long bangs behind his ear, which was horribly arousing and Naruto couldn't help but stare.

He wanted to taste that skin under his tongue, feel it under his palms and the pads of his fingers, watching as he unraveled perfection and built it anew.

Shit, he needed to get laid.  Did he want to get laid by someone other than Sasuke? ~~Not really.~~   Was he even allowed to get laid?  Wasn't there pre-date etiquette that prevented that?  Like, thou shan't get sex whilst thou art awaiting thy first date?  It's gotta be in the social or moral codes for him somewhere to consider it wrong.

If he actually started dating Sasuke, was he even going to get any within the next ten years?

The worst part is he didn't even mind that thought.  As long as Sasuke was around for him to spend time with, the sex would just be an unnecessary luxury.  God, toss him off a cliff and send him to psychosis, Naruto was smitten.

"If you're done staring like an idiot, I have classes that I probably shouldn't miss starting in about ten minutes," Sasuke snapped his fingers in front of Naruto's eyes in an attempt to snap him out of his thoughts.

It worked, somewhat.  The blonde scoffed, "You ditched your morning ones, you ditcher!"

"I have a perfect GPA, I can spare myself a sick morning," Sasuke rolled his eyes, "But I have a job that starts at two and pays for my fabric and materials.  Put two and two together."

"I see how it is, bastard," Naruto grinned.

"See that you leave, then."

"Damn, no mercy."

"Leave me or I'll ditch our date too."

"Leaving!"

Naruto hadn't smiled so much leaving a place as Sasuke's dorm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since you all love my headcanons (or not?), here's a spoilery one. Sasuke doesn't actually like sweets like Naruto thinks. He used to as a kid, but now when he eats them they remind him of growing up. He's found that sweet things have become bittersweet with those memories, but sometimes he indulges when he misses being a kid.
> 
> Hinata's husband's last name, Jindong, comes from when I googled the last names of the richest men in China. So there you have it.
> 
> The KibaHina is sort of abrupt, but really Naruto is overestimating what's going on. (Would anyone want me to write the KibaHina date? I wouldn't mind writing a side fic like that, I have ideas. Or I could just leave it up to your imagination. Or if you love me you could write it and I could worship you forever. I'm kidding, but seriously, would anyone want some Aperture side fics?)
> 
> And thank you all for your wonderful comments! I will try to have another chapter or two for you over break, because I will have tons of time to write.


	9. Iso

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is late?? Haha I am trash. This chapter was supposed to be longer but I don't like the next part so I'm going to flush it out some more.

Sakura arrived with her things the day Hinata was taking off.

It had been a rough past few days for Naruto.  He'd been busy trying to get all his ducks in a row: he had contacted Karin about the advertisement and made arrangements for his upcoming date (Kakashi had harassed him to death about it but Jiraiya was apparently all for weeding out eligible males from the dating pool), all while suffering Kiba and Hinata's constant flirting and trying to find a place for Sakura.  The only good news was that Itachi had sent him five hundred dollars for the auction and a compliment of his work, as well as an invitation plus one to the auction itself, which featured a gala before the main event, probably to get the patrons drunk enough to bid more than they could afford.

He wasn't sure if he'd go, especially since Itachi wasn't even going himself (and neither was Sasuke).  Too many cameras, Sasuke had told him, and Itachi claimed former arrangements, which sounded like bullshit to Naruto.  Who arranged a big auction and then decided to ditch the damn thing?  Well, ditch was a strong word.  Technically Itachi wasn't needed since his husband was going to be officially hosting the shindig, and he _had_ set it up so his presence was unnecessary, but it seemed to be in bad taste.

It was like baking a cake and not eating a slice!  It was fishy.

Naruto groaned, hauling a large cardboard box of who-knows-what up the concrete staircase.  Sakura's new place was tiny and she had a roommate, of whom Sakura had never met before, but apparently sounded like a "stand-up woman" with "impeccable taste" that worked in the local flower shop.  Kiba's ex-fling Ino worked there too.  Maybe she'd know more but Naruto hadn't seen her hide since Hinata stole Kiba's heart.

He put the box down next to the rest of the load.  Sakura smiled gratefully at him, eyes crinkling at the corners, and Naruto had an odd feeling of being used.  Apparently "Can you spare a moment or two before we go to the airport?" was code for "Help me move my junk."

"How would I have survived that without a big strong man?" She laughed, getting to her feet, "Are we seeing off Hinata now?"

"Yeah.  You'll finally get to meet Kibbles.  They're... urgh," Naruto moaned, "...just disgusting!"

They were.  They were the type of couple that shared ice cream bars and hung on each other's arms all day, and almost constantly could be seen holding hands or cuddling or playing with each other's hair (Naruto was seeing a trend with Kiba's taste in women.  Long hair, apparently).  In fact, Naruto was nearly 99.25% sure that it would be possible for them to win some sort of cutest, sappiest couple award.

Sakura slapped his arm playfully, "They sound cute."

"She's cheating," he muttered, having thoroughly lost this argument many times already.

"It's not cheating if they're a court hearing and a couple papers away from divorced!" She insisted, "And they aren't even kissing or frickle-frackling it up yet."

"I can't believe you just said that," Naruto said in object horror.

"Hush.  Tumblr's a bad influence."

"I bet you follow porn blogs."

She blushed, tripping over her own feet, "Shut up, Naruto, I do not!"

"Gay porn blogs."

"You're so gross!" She shrieked, and her fist came flying, like he knew it would.  Except when she slugged him with the force of a meteor, he fell down the entire length of the stairs in a dazed and bloody heap. 

Naruto had gone down about twelve steps and one was digging painfully into his ass.  When he righted himself from his upside-downedness, he felt warmth drip down his lip and to his chin, and his cheek hurt like a bitch, god damn.  Naruto could almost taste the blood, and he came to the apt conclusion that his nose was bleeding like a stuck pig.  Naruto needed not to antagonize Sakura, he thought as he pouted, babying his injured face.

"Wow, usually you can take my hits.  Are you slacking off?" Sakura said, but she immediately went first aid on him, producing bandaids and tissues from that secret place girls put things, since they never seem to actually have pockets. (Naruto had to ask Sasuke why this was, because he saw no purpose in fake pockets.  Maybe a fashion designer could enlighten him?)

"...maybe," Naruto wiped the blood off his lip, "But you are always brutal enough to make me bleed when you land one."

She regarded him for a second, having bandaged and wiped and mended to the best of her ability, "You should start working out again."

"Dammit, I know!  Don't treat me like an invalid!  I'm not fucking stupid, don't point out the obvious!" Naruto snapped, then clicked his jaw shut, mortified.  He hadn't meant to let his frustration out on her.  Especially not Sakura.  Their relationship had been weird lately, and he'd been walking on rocks around her.  He didn't want to say she was like a different person, but sometimes it was hard to equate the girl in front of him with the girl he'd been best friends with since middle school.

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes to the sight of her.  It was like she was just too much all at once.  She didn't feel like letting an old friend back in, she felt like he had to adapt to her for the first time.  And Naruto needed to figure out how to be comfortable around Sakura all the time.  Wasn't it horrible to think he had to adjust to Sakura?  One fight and all his trust in her shattered and he couldn't pretend it was back.  She had moved on, made her decisions, it wasn't like she had said anything bad since, he shouldn't remember it anymore.

It shouldn't ruin years of flawless friendship.

"Hey, hey..." Sakura sounded concerned, "Naruto, I'm sorry.  It's okay to be stressed.  My punch probably didn't help at all either."

He opened one eyeball a crack, looking into her sea green eyes.  She was leaning up and about to press her palm to his forehead to check for a fever.  When he met her gaze, she took a careful step back, knowing he needed his space.

He really couldn't stay mad at her when she apologized like that.  Naruto shook his head, "S'not your fault."

"I'm not helping, and I know it. That's my job," Sakura insisted.

"I'm just screwed up all over the place," Naruto slumped against the wall, staring at his scruffy sneakers.

Sakura shook her head, pink swaying from side to side, "Not true.  Maybe you're a bit prone to panic attacks and have a spot of social anxiety, but you're a genuinely good person and you don't let anything stop you."

"I'm letting this stupid insecurity--"

"No!  You're slowing down, sure, but you're not stopping.  You, Naruto, do not stop.  You charge in regardless and sometimes that's good and sometimes it flops but at least you dive right in!"

He slid down the concrete wall into he was sitting, his arms resting on his knees.

"I could never live the way you do, Naruto.  Maybe because to anyone else, it would be foolish, but you make it work, you big idiot," Sakura slid down to sit next to him, back scraping against the wall and shoes squeaking across the floor.

"That's got nothing to do with my social anxiety or my panic attacks!" Naruto gritted his teeth, avoiding looking directly at her.

"You live so openly, just honesty and love and easy trust and so when someone else rocks that foundation it just destroys you," She sighed, her petal pink mouth turning down at the corners, "Everything else is like your protection, I guess.  You took psych, not me."

"I don't remember shit from that class," he scoffed.  She knew he was posturing and he knew she knew.  Didn't mean he'd stop.  He didn't want to admit he knew better.  Naruto was a living paradox because he was smart enough to know every time he thought viciously he was stupid for acting how he did that he was wrong and overreacting, and he hated himself for it.

That's the worst part, though, he knew better and he still did it, and it was stupid.  Therefore he was stupid--stupid-stupid _stupidstupid **stupidsSTUPID**_!!

"Today's just a bad day," Sakura shook him at the shoulders.  It felt futile to him, he just swayed this way or that and felt his mistakes weigh on him.

How could he dare to let himself mingle with people?  His breath caught, he grabbed his shirt in his hand, right over his heart.  Why was Sakura still talking to him?  He was shit, he'd said something rude to her, he was ruining his life here, he never helped his friends, why why why _why **why**_ \--

Sakura slapped him on his injured cheek, "Snap out of it!  Naruto, please."

He stared at her, shocked out of his thoughts by the sting of reality.  The way Sakura was sitting, she filled up almost his entire vision.

"I just know you're belittling yourself in that dumb head of yours," Sakura held his cheeks, "We're on equal ground, Naruto, you need to realize that.  I make mistakes. I hurt people needlessly.  I hurt _you_ needlessly.  You're right to act odd around me, I shouldn't pretend that nothing happened.  I should be working to gain your trust back."

"You are!" Naruto protested, "You came here for me, didn't you?"

"That's partially true," she admitted, "But when interacting with me in person like this is causing you to break down, it means I haven't done enough."

He shook his head, "I know you're safe.  I know you're trying, and it means the world to me.  I'm just screwed up."

"It's okay, we're all screwed up somehow," she told him.

"You sound like Alice in Wonderland."

"I'm not blonde enough," she twisted a strand of fading cotton candy pink around her fingers, "But I could be."

"I like the pink.  It's much better than the lime green and the day-glow orange," Naruto had liked the orange personally but it had clashed with her eyes and was just this side of too-radical for her.  The pink matched her fierce and motherly personality.  Blue was pretty cute though, and he was fond of the purple.  She had made an odd red-head, and black hair was passable but less than preferable.  In fact, the only color he hadn't seen on Sakura yet was blonde.

"I do like it more than any other color I've tried."

"It's because of your name.  Cherry blossoms are beautiful pink flowers.  Fitting for the hair of a beautiful girl."

She smiled, "You're so sweet."

Naruto stared at her, narrowing his eyes, "I could've sworn you just called me..."

"Sweet," Sakura rolled her eyes, "That thing, that you eat in mountainous quantities until you get sick and then swear off for years?"

"We have a turbulent relationship," Naruto whined.

"It's all your own fault.  Moderation is this really great concept, maybe you should look it up in the dictionary?"

"Damn, my heart!"

"Come on, get up.  We'll miss Hinata."

"She'll be back soon.  Kiba's here and we all know she wants him more than she wants decent Chinese food and air pollution," Naruto snorted.

Sakura raised one fist in a clear threat to punch him again, "You're an awful person, Naruto.  You're made of suck."

"Hey!  Easy, I just had a mental breakdown!" Naruto wheedled.

She lowered her fist for approximately one second, before shrugging, "You're gonna have to get used to my threats sooner or later."

"Cruel," he whined, but he was smiling as the two of them piled into Naruto's car.

* * *

Naruto had wanted to restrain himself but Kiba was moping and Sakura was unpacking and complaining about her "pig" of a roommate.  Not so upstanding after all.  So, he was texting Sasuke obnoxious messages.

_"im tots excite 4 our d8"_

An hour later of trying to be productive (he actually worked out, le gasp) and he gave in and texted again, because he knew Sasuke liked him enough to suffer the texts.

_"ur ignoring meeeeeee"_

A half hour session of photography later and another text.

_"love me, Sasuke"_

Ten minutes.

_"stingy bitch"_

One minute.

_"lol jkjkjk ur awesome"_

Now he was just lying on the couch texting without shame.

_"why is itachi a camera nazi"_

_"u should be a model"_

_"u could model ur own designs"_

_"okay i admit i have evil intentions"_

_"i just want to photo u"_

The texts had dissolved into meaningless things, but it was Sasuke's fault for not throwing him a bone.

Until, he guessed, that the texts had stopped being funny and had pissed his love off seeing as his phone vibrated with an incoming call that could only come from one person.  Rolling over on his back, Naruto answered it.

"Hi--"

"What can I do to make you stop texting me, you flaming imbecile?!"

Oh, very angry Sasuke.  Not good.

"Um, you see..." Naruto ran his free hand down his chest to lay on his belly button.  He could feel the flab, and he inwardly groaned. He really needed to work out more.

"Ugh, I don't have time for this.  I'm putting you on speaker.  Embarrass me in front of my classmates and I'll kill you."

"Oh, uh, okay?  Where are you?" Naruto wondered.  Not, in a classroom during a lecture or something?  That would just be awful and Naruto would somehow manage to get shy, even though he knew that he had no reason to really be embarrassed.  No one could see him.

"In the workroom.  With my classmates."

Much better than a lecture room.  A workroom meant talking was very much allowed.  Naruto grinned, "I'm guessing they got annoyed by your phone going off constantly?"

"One of them is glaring.  The fact they think it'll work on me is hilarious.  I practically patented death glares," Sasuke snorted, "You sent me such bullshit too.  They kept trying to convince me it must be an emergency."

"They're sorely disappointed to find out it's just the clingy boyfriend?" The blonde said with just a hint of hinting.

Sasuke noticed and shot him down, no relentlessness, "You can't be a clingy boyfriend.  We're not dating, plural.  We're going on one date.  That's it."

"Stingy!  You know I'm gonna get a second date if it kills me," Naruto slumped into the couch.  Sasuke obviously couldn't see it, but he was pretty sure his emotional state was listed in the definition of devastated.

He was getting way too far ahead of himself again, Naruto thought hopelessly.

"How can you even know if you want one yet?" His muse asked, indignant.

Because I'm desperately head over heels for you, Naruto almost said, before he stammered out, "Magic.  Clearly magic.  I can see the future, because what you don't know is that my toes turn purple slowly as they fill with images of the future, and I dissect my toes every so often to do fortune-telling and to piss off my enemies."

"You're so obnoxious," He heard noises in the backdrop, and Sasuke's voice dropping a decibel, "Shut up, we're not married."

"Aw, don't deny our love," Naruto teased.

"I will hang up on you." said in an even deadpan.

He laughed sheepishly, "What are you working on?"

"Just design sketches right now.  The Harry Potter thing is done.  Most of the summer semester is.  This is for fun."

"For fun, he says, before finals," Naruto heard a classmate, closer than the others, comment.

"That's really cool," Naruto smiled, thinking of how often he saw Sasuke trying to perfect this or that, "I've been meaning to get started on those shoots for Karin but the models are busy until this weekend."

"The weekend of our date?"

Naruto gulped, thinking, oh shit, "That weekend, yes."

"We can reschedule--"

"We absolutely can't.  That Saturday is like, fulfilling all my dreams for the future."

Good way to be clingy, Naruto, just genius.  Shit, why was he so bad at talking to people?

"I didn't say cancel," Sasuke pointed out.

"Nooooo, no rescheduling!  I can totally do the shoot on Sunday," Naruto put his foot down.  Rescheduling was an easy way of procrastinating and Naruto was not letting Sasuke escape it for any reason.

"Stubborn fool."

"How'd you get sourpuss to date you?" Someone in the background asked incredulously.

Naruto huffed, "Hey!  I'll have you know I'm very attractive, a great conversationalist, and an even better photographer!  Who wouldn’t love this?"

Two thirds of those claims were lies but Sasuke's classmates didn't need to know that.

Someone mumbled something in the background and Sasuke snapped, "Get your own damn boyfriend."

"Aw, are you admitting I'm your boyfriend?"

"No."

He'd expected the sharp answer.  Naruto sighed, "Damn, you're stingy."

"Maybe after the 5th date... if you even get that far."

"The fifth one?  That's hardcore.  That's like, the dates before are only trial runs."

Please, Naruto thought, just say something, just throw me a bone.  He wanted proof, audible, heavy, proof that he could cherish, some hint more than speculation and hope.

Sasuke did not oblige him. "I have high standards."

"How can you have high standards if you're always single?"

"I'm always single _because_ I have high standards."

"So have I met your high standards yet?" Naruto tried hinting again.

"You have marks against you.  Your record isn't clean," Sasuke shot him down.

"Try me," the blonde challenged.  Sasuke had nothing on him.

"You're dumb, a stalker, and a photographer."

What was so bad about being a photographer?!  Naruto groaned, "I thought you didn't share Itachi's prejudice."

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

What?  Naruto blinked.  Didn't that saying mean...?

He protested, "That makes no sense, he's not your father."

"I'll spare you the childhood story of, 'Luke I am your father' that Itachi thought was hilarious after he'd watched Star Wars for the first time, but I meant it in a different way, I guess.  Technically siblings should both fall from the same tree and are thereby close together," Sasuke weaseled out of it.

"What if they fell on different sides?" He pointed out, "What if there was a hill?"

"Why haven't I hung up on you yet?"

Good question, Sasuke, always bringing up the hard stuff.

But he was glad his muse hadn't, very very glad.  The dark haired college student was nigh indecipherable but Naruto loved him for it.

The blonde laughed, "I honestly don't know, maybe because you've got nothing better to do?"

"My fellow students are mocking me."

"I'll beat them up if you ask."

"I can beat them up myself, wimp."

Wimp?!

"I'll wipe the floor with you too!" Naruto growled, sitting up straight.  He'd train in the gym for hours until he could smash Sasuke into the ground and pin him there.  But it'd be better if Sasuke put up a really good fight, and then could flip him over just when he'd thought he'd won, and... this train of thought wasn't going good places.  Naruto swallowed it back down into the gutter of his mind before it led to a horribly inconvenient boner.

"Says the person too scared to fight me," Sasuke taunted.

"I didn't want an unconscious date," A bluff.

"Ha!  As if." The bluff was called.

"I've got more brawn than you."

"You've got more fat, you mean."

"Muscle-mass, you bastard."

"Yes, yes, tough guy."

"Pretty boy."

"If I'm pretty, doesn't that make you ugly?"

"Shut your face."

"You resort to childish insults when I've won, I see."

"You won nothing, you bastard!"

"You can't even come up with a decent retort; I think I've won."

"You're mean and I hate you."

A voice from the background said, "They're so married.  It's almost horrifying."

"I've never seen Sasuke act like that before," another classmate added.

"I'll kill you all later," Sasuke growled in a deathly serious deadpan, but Naruto could read the embarrassment in his voice.

"Aw, you love me," the blonde teased.

"No."

"Yes, you do!  You're blushing!  You like me!  You're hiding your desire for me--"

"I'll ditch our date."

"Dammit, you get me with that one every time."

"That's because it works."

"You're a total softy, you wouldn't stand me up."

"You're a total moron."

Sasuke's classmates had started a discussion in the background that sounded something like:

"They're like, cats and dogs."

"No!  Like a snake and a fox!"

"No, a hawk and a toad."

"How about a mass murder of all my damn classmates?" Sasuke threatened.

"O-okay, Sasuke, just lower the paintbrush--!"

Because Naruto knew Sasuke pretty well, at least in his book, he chimed in, "That means the markers, sharpies, colored pencils, books, regular pencils, charcoal, etc, too."

"He picked up the desk next but those were good guesses," A terrified classmate corrected.

"I was so close," Sasuke commented dryly.

Naruto laughed, "You don't actually want to kill anyone."

"Try me," his muse muttered.

"I sent you dick jokes and I'm not dead."

"I have arsenic planned for you."

"You're a total softie."

"It's going in your food on Saturday."

"You'd never.  You'd chicken out first."

A classmate warned, "If you clench that pencil any tighter, it'll snap, Sasuke."

"My patience is being tested," Sasuke said in a sickly sweet tone that warned of pain and suffering.

Naruto never heeded warnings.  "Yes, grip me tight.  Harder, Sasuke--"

"You are dead to me."

"Very funny," Naruto grinned.

Sasuke didn't answer.

"Hello?" He queried.

"..."

"Sasuke's classmates?"

"Oh shit, did Sasuke kill all of you?" Naruto was almost legitimately worried.  Almost.

"I took you off speaker, dumbass," Sasuke snapped, "because you're a dolt who feeds off of their attention."

"Nah," Naruto told him honestly, "It's your attention I crave.  I love it when you look at me."

Too much honesty, too soon?  Naruto winced.  Why had he said that?  Why?  His heart thumped, a bead of sweat rolled down his cheek--

"If you're going to say I have nice eyes, I'll punch you," Sasuke huffed, "I pay too much attention to you.  You're spoiled."

Naruto sighed a breath of relief.

"You're mean, Sasuke," The blonde whined.

"I come with business cards and a required permission slip that tells you that I'm very very mean.  You do this to yourself."

"I like you, Sasuke," Naruto confessed, like it was some reverent prayer, "even if you're mean."

"You never learn," Sasuke sounded exasperated.  Naruto knew better.  The exasperation was covering up a blush that covered up Sasuke's whole face, reddened his ears like a guilty child, flustered him beyond any good retorts, without a doubt.

Naruto grinned, making himself more comfortable on the couch, "You like me too.  I know you do."

"You make assumptions based on empty facts," Sasuke mumbled.

"Not empty facts," the blonde teased, "Cold, hard proof."

Sasuke didn't respond right away. It sounded like he was moving around, or something similar.

Actually, rustling was heard from all over Sasuke's workroom.  Sasuke himself was no exception, he was one of many.  In a hushed breath, he said, "Leave it for later.  I need to go to my job.  Lab clean-up doesn't do itself."

"Eheh, I should probably leave that to you, huh?" Naruto snorted, imagining Sasuke running off and donning goggles and a lab apron. Somehow, despite the inevitable raccoon face syndrome, Naruto just knew that Sasuke'd look good in it.  He swallowed dryly.  He didn't think he had a kink for role-play but the thought of his muse in a laboratory, focused, somehow seemed really unfairly hot.  When Sasuke had been moving those boxes, he hadn't been wearing lab attire, but Naruto was pretty sure that was an exception, not the norm.  Safety rules, and etc.  Boxes of dead worms were not dangerous chemicals.

"My boss hates cell phones.  Don't text me or call me.  Even if it's an emergency," Sasuke paused to think of something, and Naruto was pretty sure it was going to be insulting.  That was Sasuke's conversational quid pro quo. "Actually, especially if it's an emergency.  I'm not one of your emergency contacts and I frankly don't care for your emergencies unless I'm part of it.  And if I'm part of it, you won't need to call me.  I'll already be there."

"Got'cha," Naruto rolled his eyes, but the smile never left his face, "No calling.  No dick jokes."

"You have common sense after all."

"Don't sound so surprised," Naruto's eyebrow twitched.

"Even you can take orders," Sasuke's voice dropped an octave and suddenly shivers crawled up Naruto's thighs.  He was pretty sure he didn't have an S&M kink either, but dammit if everything Sasuke did wasn't somehow a turn on for Naruto.

"Don't order me around," Naruto growled, just a little.  Not too aggressive growling in Naruto's opinion.  Just, a little.

That stopped Sasuke in his tracks because suddenly his muse went silent.

"Oh," the raven haired man uttered.

"Um, you okay?" Naruto blinked.

"Yes.  Fine. I have to go to work. Bye," Sasuke hung up on him.

Naruto looked at his cellphone.  Had he done something?


	10. Juxtapose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you guys, the response to this fic has been amazing, and honestly I'm blown away. Thank you all so much! I have a Hinata/Kiba one-shot in this universe in the works. I promise I'll finish that soon! Enjoy, you finally get your long awaited date!

Karin had invited him out to the beach on Friday because she had something to show him.  She promised it’d be worth the trip, and he trusted her.  It was usually worth the trip when it came to Karin.  She was never one for boring or typical.  Still, Naruto found it hard to drag himself there.

Even twenty minutes beforehand, after his man satchel was stuffed full of all the beach necessities and he’d coated himself in sunscreen, he still lingered over his phone, tempted to decline and stay inside.

Iruka always said days like this, where he didn’t want to leave his room, where days were he was having more regular symptoms of social anxiety.  His panicking in crowds was sort of weird, because he was the type of person to ignore the anxiety beforehand that told him not to get into the crowd in the first place.  Naruto hated it though; anything that was a roadblock for him was going to be smashed through if he could help it. 

He made a point to go exactly because he didn’t want to go.

So there Naruto was, ten minutes later, trudging through sand and on the look-out for bright red hair.  It didn’t take long to locate Karin; her hair really was a beacon.  Plus, she was covered in black tattoo designs and color accents all along her skin.

She grinned at him, “What’s up?”

“No, you what’s up!  You’re the one who called me out here to show me something!” Naruto laughed, squeezing her in a hug.  She squeaked and slapped his arm until he let go.

“Careful,” Karin huffed, “My new tattoo’s sore and that hurt like hell.”

“Oh shit, sorry!” Naruto glanced down her side, exposed by her outfit, which looked to be a t-shirt tied up in the back to show off her tummy and a pair of Sasuke’s cargo shorts.  (They were definitely Sasuke’s, Naruto had seen them on him before… or maybe they were Karin’s and Sasuke had borrowed them?)  The new tattoo had no color yet, just the black ink lines swirling down her side in perfect symmetry.

It was fantastic work; a dragon surrounded by flames and flowers and thorns in a delicately woven balance.  The tattoo ran from her upper back and curled down her shoulder blade and waist to end in a swirl at her hipbone.  It was Naruto's favorite tattoo he'd seen on Karin, not that the rest weren't also stunning.  The dragon was at peace with itself, fierce, protective, part of a balance, and it fit perfectly on her skin like it had been missing before.  It was gorgeous, and Naruto wanted to take some photos of it for the advertisement for Karin's tattoo place.

“I love it!” He grinned, looking up to meet her eyes.  She beamed back at him, until they heard laughter coming from a group of women a few paces down the beach.

The jerks who were laughing all looked like Hollywood rejects or Barbie doll advertisements, with their fake tans, sun-bleached hair, copious amounts of pink, and jiggling breast implants.  They were all pointing and laughing at Karin, and Naruto even thought he heard one of them say, “What’s to love about sloppy seconds?”

The one wearing the most rhinestones stuck her tongue out and called, “You look like a fucking whore, you giant slut!  Can’t keep your filthy hands off more guys than you already fuck?!”

“FUCK YOU!” Karin screamed, rushing at them, “It’s not like you’re not a filthy cheater, Maria!”

She tossed globs of sandy mud at their expensive swimsuits and screeched her lungs out, looking wilder than Naruto had ever seen her.  And she kept at it, too, angry and furious, until eventually they all scrambled for their expensive cars and drove off.

Having successfully terrorized the Barbie squad off the beach, Karin threw herself down onto the sand, flopped with all of her limbs stretched out like a starfish.

“I take it you knew those girls?” Naruto asked, sitting down next to her.

Karin calmed down a bit, and with a groan of frustration, she sat up next to Naruto, "This is why I live with boys."

Naruto rubbed her back, careful not to touch her new tattoo, “Don’t let them get to you.”

"How can I not?" Karin rubbed away angry tears, "They’re these proper little princess and the second they see me, she disapproves.  It's always like that with girls!  I want all the nice things they want; the same steady relationship, the same good hair day, the same feeling of being adored.  But just because I look how I do, I don't deserve that kind of respect in their minds!  Just because I live with three guys doesn’t mean I’m fucking any of them!  Sasuke’s not even into me, Juugo’s got a crush on another guy, and Suigetsu won’t get into my pants until he actually learns that a date isn’t sitting on the couch with the rest of the guys eating pizza!"

Karin buried her head in Naruto's shoulder and sighed, a shrill noise of frustrated anger.  She didn't let herself cry anymore.  She was too strong for it and Naruto was so proud of her for being able to shoulder it.  He'd have broken down into sobs and rolled over in the face of that but Karin bit right back, no hesitation.

“I’m sorry,” Naruto said.

Karin stood up suddenly, angrily, furiously, stomping her feet as she grabbed her beach bag and yanked it on her shoulder with a burning look in her glasses-framed eyes, "I'm sorry too, Naruto!  Because I don't think I'm going to come back here while they’re liable to show up.  You'll have to come visit our place."

He understood how she felt, demanding that.  Whatever hurt her, she cut it off.  She had no patience to put up with abuse anymore and she didn't have to.  She'd gone through enough that her first instinct was to shut everyone out.  Just like he had, before Iruka.

Before she stormed back to her bike, Naruto caught her arm and told her softly, "I get it, I really do.  I'm sorry this place doesn't feel safe to you anymore, and I'll respect your boundaries.  We can go where ever is best for you next time."

Karin smiled lightly, squeezing his fingers back, "It gives you an excuse to invade Sasuke's personal space more anyway."

"Fuck yeah, it does!" Naruto beamed, "I'll text about the advertising photos?"

She nodded and he watched her go, his head stormy in turmoil.  Once Karin's red haired, slim figure was out of sight, he pulled out his phone and squinted to see the screen through the bright sunlight as he sent a text off to Sasuke.

_"Problems w/ karin...shes v mad"_

Sasuke replied, _"Why do you aggravate my roommates so?"_

A second-long pause, _"Rhetorical question, don't answer that."_

_"jsyk it tots wasnt my fault!"_

_"Don't tell me, I'll just pick up the ice cream on my way back.  We're still on for 8?"_

_"of fucking course! =^u^="_

_"That emoticon is highly offensive to me."_

Naruto pouted but pocketed his phone instead of pursuing the conversation.  He felt bad for being so excited about his date when Karin felt so hurt, but he couldn’t do anything about it.  After all, the date was tomorrow, and Karin would get over it.  She was strong as hell, he believed in her.  And plus, Sasuke had said he’d buy her ice cream.

* * *

Dates were nice formal things, but rock climbing was not so much.  Either way Naruto was lost at appropriate date wear, and nothing was getting Kiba up before 10:30 this morning.  Not even a nuclear war.

Ignoring the problem, Naruto stared bleary-eyed at his ramen noodle cup.  Had it been three minutes yet?

Probably not.

Sakura had sent him a text a half-hour earlier since she knew him too well, and reminded him that ramen was unacceptable as a breakfast food.

Everything else in the fridge was a biohazard by now, though; Naruto justified to himself his noodle consumption as he decided to fuck the three minutes and just start eating.

Seven was approaching all too quickly.  To meet Sasuke at 8, Naruto had to get dressed in less than 30 minutes.  Which was a _dilemma_ of catastrophic proportions, since he had no clue what to wear.  He felt like a preteen heterosexual movie stereotype.  His first date with a cute boy and he had no clue what to wear.  Typical.

The ramen didn't last long enough, Naruto mourned, before he tamed his hair and brushed his teeth.  The blonde spikes resisted, but he'd gotten them to look somewhat managed, at least to the point where one could tell he tried.  After almost slamming his hand in the bathroom door on the way out, he headed to his closet.  One half was Kiba's and one half was his and sometimes no one knew what belonged to who.  They were pretty much the same size.

Cargo pants and a t-shirt, Naruto thought, evaluating his possibilities.  He'd look pretty good in cargo pants but he'd still be able to move easily.  And a t-shirt, he couldn't go wrong with a t-shirt.

He picked out the black t-shirt with an orange swirl on the front and winced.  Maybe he could go wrong?

Sasuke was a _fashion major_.  Sasuke would care about what he was wearing.  At least a little.  He couldn't just half-ass it.  Not when he knew, just knew, Sasuke would judge him based off of it.

Eventually the clock ticked 7:13 and Naruto had to choose.  He didn't have much time left.

Haphazardly he chose whatever he found comfortable, a pair of jeans with the first shirt he'd pulled out and an orange hooded vest on top, and a pair of obnoxious green googles to put on his forehead in lieu of actual sunglasses (Naruto wasn't even sure if he owned any).  If he looked stupid, Sasuke would just have to suffer.

Before piling into his car, Naruto picked up his camera.  Even if Sasuke refused to be photographed (and somehow, Naruto just knew he would), he didn't want to miss having a memory of this.  He just knew he'd see something worth capturing on film.  And maybe he could sneak a snapshot of Sasuke somehow.

Those thoughts entertained him as he drove to Sasuke's dorm.  He found himself outside at 7:55 and he was debating on whether or not to knock.

He was early, because he rushed not to be late, because Naruto was ridiculously eager and his heart was pounding and fuck, Sasuke promised that he'd kiss him today.  A kiss, he blushed, _a kiss_.  Naruto hadn't been on a legitimate date since what felt like forever.  He was trembling at the thought of messing it all up.

He stood outside until 8 am exactly, then he knocked.  It did him no good if he was late.

It took a few seconds before Sasuke opened the door, and for some reason he seemed shorter than normal.  Another inch, or something.  Ah, Naruto noted, no shoes.  No wonder he seemed short.

So cute, Naruto thought, bending down to press his nose to Sasuke's cheek.  His date grudgingly accepted it, leaned into it for a brief moment, then pulled back entirely, blushing slightly as he glanced back.

"I'm almost ready," Sasuke muttered darkly, turning to glare at someone behind him.

Itachi waved from the couch, a delicate half-wave that looked straight out of the princess diaries, "I'm here doling out my required sibling doting.  Feel free to join me and I can dole out my required sibling _'you hurt my brother, I remove every single bone from your body'_ lecture."

"Um, shouldn’t you be back in Africa or something?" Naruto felt sweat begin to form on his forehead and he let himself be ushered inside.

Sasuke mumbled under his breath, "Not yet, unfortunately.  Suigetsu told him I had a date today and suddenly I'm getting the safe-sex talk.  I need to advertise that our rooms have a vacancy to the general public."

"But don't your rooms only have enough space for four people..." Naruto belated chuckled, "Oh. When's the funeral?"

"Monday," Sasuke pulled on a pair of black converse and tied the laces.

Itachi smiled pleasantly from his spot on the couch, "Remember Sasuke, photographers only want one thing.  Kill him before he touches you."

The words were kind of joking but it didn't stop Naruto's blood from running cold and Sasuke from blushing a strange purple color.  Wide eyed and instantly defensive, the younger brother cursed, "I hope you die."

"I thought you got over this stage," Itachi shook his head, "Vendettas don't make for healthy psyches."

Sasuke tied one last knot on his shoes in a jerky manner that belied how furious he was.  Every motion seemed exaggerated.  Shoes now on, Naruto's muse stomped off towards the door with murder radiating off his skin.

He looked fucking sexy when he was scary angry, Naruto bemoaned, and he followed Sasuke towards the door.  He briefly looked back to throw Itachi a wave, who was wearing a shit-eating smirk and god forbid winking back at him.

Sasuke evidentially had no patience for Itachi's bullshit because he tugged Naruto right out the door and slammed it shut behind them.

The blonde sneaked a fast glimpse of his features; elegant nose, subtly arched eye brows, dark eye lashes, a burning fire inside given away by the downwards curve of his grimace.  Sasuke was model gorgeous, and it really struck Naruto like a speeding ice cream truck to a broke kid in summer that they looked a bit beauty and the beast together.  Naruto had gotten very very lucky to get someone this attractive going on a date with him.  And the funniest part was that he wouldn't want it to be anyone else equally gorgeous; there just were no substitutes for Sasuke.

"Are you done?" Sasuke cocked an eyebrow.

"No," Naruto answered truthfully, "But I'll put it off for a while.  Rock climbing?"

"Yes," the fashion major grunted, following Naruto to his car.

It wasn't the first time Naruto had driven Sasuke somewhere but it was certainly more awkward and stifled once they were alone.

"Mind if I turn on the radio?" Naruto nervously tapped his fingers, having gotten stuck at a red light.

"No," Sasuke drummed his fingers on the window.

"Oh-kay, then," Naruto hit the button and the car filled with decently embarrassing junk.  Like, for instance, hipster bullshit.  Sasuke looked like, oh he didn't know, a classic rock sort of person.  Anything but this.

“Shit, I left it on 92.9!”

Sasuke snorted as Naruto reached to change the station, "Don't bother.  This is blackmail material."

Naruto blushed furiously for the rest of the drive.

The rock climbing place they went to was an outside thing, but it had the all-important additions of safety pads if they fell and safety harnesses.  Kiba had highly recommended it, and it looked better the closer they got to it.  It was a bit of a ways from town but Sasuke hadn't complained about the drive.

The fee per person was $25, $50 including gear; Naruto paid because he was secretly kind of rich and Sasuke was secretly kind of poor.  There were four different rock walls one could attempt.  Naruto saw the tallest one and ugh, yes, he had to climb it.

"So you spotted it," the safety lady, who had introduced herself as Moegi, laughed as she handed them their harnesses.

Naruto wasn't expecting Sasuke to nod with a fire in his eyes.  He pointed at the plaques next to the tallest climbing wall, "You can't mean to say only those people reached the top."

"The wall is slippery and about 40 ft, and we don't get experienced climbers for this sort of thing," Moegi shrugged, "It's possible but hard so we put up plaques for the ones who make it and sit up at the top."

"I need to reach the top," Naruto looked at the wall with eyes that accepted the challenge. Eyes that refused to back down when faced with common sense.

"New rules," Sasuke said, finishing the last buckle on his safety harness, "I'm only kissing you if we're both sitting at the top.  Better than fireworks."

Fuck, Naruto thought, he was gonna get to the top or die.

"Before you two get ahead of yourselves, you should warm up on the smaller ones," Moegi was giving them odd looks.  Maybe it was the kissing statement or maybe because she'd heard a bunch of posturing assholes come before them, claiming to do the same.

"Yeah, we'll start easy," Naruto grinned at her and finished his buckles.  They both looked silly in the harnesses but _safety first_ , and honestly it was going to be the first time he would see Sasuke in something that was silly looking.  That meant important things.

Naruto saluted the safety lady and made a move for Sasuke's hand, which was just dangling at his muse's side and could much better serve him in Naruto's own palm.  Sasuke let him tangle their fingers together, and didn't even comment when the blonde used it to drag him off to the smallest climbing wall.

This one had obvious drilled in footholds for climbing and was only 15 feet tall.  Like the others, it was made out of a big rock face and had obviously had work done on it to make it the appropriate height and to make it the safest.

Despite those facts, safety lady Moegi had made it clear to them that the harnesses were to be used on every wall.

Naruto let go of his captured treasure (Sasuke's hand) and bounced a little on his feet.  Oh yeah, he couldn't wait.  He'd already clicked himself onto the safety feature and secured the harness to the wall when he looked over at Sasuke.

Damn bastard was already climbing like a freaking pro!

Naruto jumped up onto the wall, left foot landing in a secure foothold, and he pulled himself halfway to the top with one arm.  The burn of his arm muscles stretching felt amazing, shot adrenaline straight through his body.  The rest of the climb took five minutes before he was standing at the top with his date at his side.

"Next wall?" Naruto breathed, ready to propel himself back down, not wanting to waste a second.

"I'm ready," Sasuke pushed his bangs behind his ear.

It took the two of them almost no time at all to conquer the next wall, which stood at 20 feet and had easily visible footholds.  They raced each other up and it was almost like hanging out with Kiba, except instead of feeling upset when he lost, Naruto got hard-to-will-down erections.  Hot damn, Sasuke was good.  And flexible.  Very flexible.  And acrobatic, because doing a back flip while propelling down a 20 foot cliff was usually not a good idea but he'd pulled it off perfectly.

Taking a brief water break, Naruto asked, "Okay, what the hell was that back flip?"

"Itachi and I did gymnastics when we were kids.  It had been my parents' idea," Sasuke mentioned with a sour look that told Naruto a lot while telling him nothing at all.  The blonde just accepted the explanation without question.

The thirty footer was next.  Sasuke had fallen down twice and Naruto about seven times but it was a proud moment when Sasuke beat the beast and pulled Naruto up to join him at the top.

The view was awesome from 30 feet.  Literally, awesome.  He could see almost all of the coast and the road they'd driven to get here.  Naruto mourned his camera not being in his hands, but his baby was too delicate for such rough stuffs.

"Hey, Moegi!" He cupped his mouth and called down for the safety lady.

"What is it?" she yelled up, leaving the new arrivals for a brief second.  They already had their harnesses, so Naruto figured he wasn't wasting her valuable time.

"Is there a back road around the cliffs that leads up here?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"I want to bring my camera up here but I don't wanna bring it up with me."

She smiled, "I'll put it up at the top of the 40 footer!"

"Hell yeah!" Naruto beamed, "Thanks a million, Moegi!"

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow, "Landscape photos only."

"What, I can't take selfies?" Naruto teased, "I want memories."

"Keep your memories in your head."  Sasuke didn't wait for Naruto to respond.  He just vaulted himself off and free fell down until the harness caught him and lowered him gently the rest.

Naruto propelled down like a sane person, because Sasuke was going to have harness bruises later and Naruto didn't favor that.

The dark haired man hadn't appreciated something he'd said, obviously, but what?  He just wanted to take a couple photos!  He wasn't trying to photograph Sasuke at all.  Maybe, like, his hand.  Or his foot.  A non-identifiable part of Sasuke so he couldn't get nervous.

"Next is the challenge!" Naruto pointed at the biggest climbing wall.

Sasuke snorted, a smirk on his lips, "Get ready to lose."

"That's because you're an acrobatic contortionist," Naruto grumbled.

"I know I told you I did gymnastics, but it was only until I was seven and I wasn't spectacular.  You should've seen Itachi.  He once rested his feet on his shoulder blades."

"I bet his husband loves that," Naruto thought, in belated horror.

"We're not discussing my brother's sex life.  I'll vomit on you," Sasuke looked positively green, so Naruto's jaw clicked shut.

Then he laughed, "You totally just did that younger sibling thing like you see in movies!  I thought that was fake, like cinema stuff."

"...What?"

"You know!" Naruto grinned, amused, "The younger sibling playing cockblocker."

"Oh, that," Sasuke snorted.

Belts clicked into place, they both looked at each other, dead serious.

Sasuke smirked, "Ready?"

"I've never been more ready," Naruto grinned, saluting him.

They both tackled the wall at the same time.

The first few times-okay many, _many_ times were utter failures, but now they'd both gotten a hang of it.  Naruto had the worst time finding hand-holds.  His shoes had good grip on them but the climbing gloves provided with the rented gear didn't like holding onto the slippery wall of granite.  It was smooth polished rock in some places, and indents were few and far between.

Naruto hauled himself up on a well-found hand-hold and watched as Sasuke lost his grip and tumbled down.  The world's angriest psychopath had nothing on the raven haired man's expression.  It was lodged between singlehandedly causing Armageddon and killing baby bunnies for fun.

"How's the weather down there?" Naruto teased, looking up for a new place to put his foot to haul himself up more.  There seemed to be none.

"You'll be falling on your ass soon enough!" Sasuke hissed, tackling his side of the wall again.

Naruto realized to make his way up, he'd have to inch sideways.  He took a hesitant step and his glove was slipping and if he could just stretch an inch further...  Shit, Naruto thought, losing one of his hands.  He decided to just go for it and leap sideways and hope for the best; he was falling anyway.

The leap left him hanging by one hand and Naruto grunted, feeling around with his foot for the grip he'd been aiming for.

Sasuke said helpfully, "You overshot."

"Shucks!" Naruto whined and fell, the harness cutting into him.

His date smirked and climbed up another three feet in a smooth move that Naruto would never pull off.  His legs didn't stretch that far.

He sighed, once again at the bottom.  Reclaiming his lost height wasn't going to be easy unless he wanted to get stuck at the same section.

Oh well, he shrugged, starting off at another promising location.

Sasuke was ahead of him for a bit, but while he had speed, Naruto had stamina.  The blonde stayed on longer, but Sasuke got further faster.  It was looking like Sasuke would beat him to the top again.

Naruto ignored the pulse of heat through his blood at the thought and climbed as fast as he could manage without compromising his location.  Sasuke’s first kiss was the prize of them both winning this, and he was not going to give that up.

Another few feet and Naruto realized he was stuck again.  There was a place to grab if only he could stretch his foot up to a handhold just a few inches out of his stretching capability.  Sasuke was not going to be the only one to reach the top, Naruto's mind reminded him, and so he went for it.

His leg burned and the stretch would kill him later, but the move granted him a good two and a half feet.

Sasuke was watching him out of the corner of his eye, now that they were on equal heights again.

Naruto winked at him but denied the sudden desire to yell something obnoxious that came with it.  He refrained from making any noises.  He wanted to look cool, not chase Sasuke away forever.

After another good thirty minutes of trial and error, they were about ten feet from the top and adorned with harness bruises.

"Dammit, I'm not falling now!" Naruto gritted his teeth as his glove felt slippery and his everything ached at him.

"Do you usually get a choice when physics decides to kick in?" Sasuke grunted, pulling himself up and slipping, falling back to where he'd been before.

"Gravity is a real bitch sometimes," Naruto chuckled, reaching up for a barely out of reach hand hold.

Sasuke tried his move again and made it, pulling himself up a foot.  Determined not to be left behind, Naruto stood on his wobbly, wobbly tiptoes and grabbed for it, snagging it just as his left foot slipped.

"I want to curse biology.  Sweat was a dumb idea.  Stains clothes, smells bad, makes one lose bodily fluids and accelerates dehydration, occasionally cools off the body, but mostly just fucks up my hands' grip," the raven haired boy laughed, a cruel sort of thing that meant he didn't find it funny at all in the slightest.  It was more of a pant for breath with sound than anything.

Another few feet, Naruto reminded himself, seeing the top so close.

There was a tiny crowd gathered to watch, complete with a gaggle of giggling girls staring at Sasuke's ass.  Naruto glared a little at the noise of how fine the booty was.  If Sasuke was to allow anyone to behold his bum, then it should be him, he wanted to snarl.

"You have admirers," Naruto groaned, gingerly reaching up for the next place he could grasp.  Only three fingers made it, but that's all he could get up there, even if he stretched especially far.

Sasuke, about a foot behind, slipped and for a heart wrenching second, Naruto thought it was all over for him, that he'd get sent straight to the bottom, but his muse grabbed the wall before he fell more than a couple feet.

"Come on, babe," Naruto whispered under his breath, "You can do it."

Sasuke didn't let it phase him.  He started climbing immediately and he was gaining ground, so Naruto focused on himself.  He was so damn close.

He pulled himself up a foot and his whole hand reached the top of the rock.  The top of the damn wall, the top!

Naruto grinned widely and hitched his foot up, pulling himself up until his elbows rested on the top of the wall.

"Made it?" Sasuke asked, his fingers touching the top, but not finding good purchase.  He gave up on that as a hold and went for a lower one instead.

Naruto hauled the rest of himself up the wall and the crowd erupted into cheers.  He almost panicked, his breath threatening to come in short puffs, when he saw Sasuke get his elbows up and suddenly it felt like victory all over again, crowd be damned.

He grabbed his camera from where it had been laid, waiting for him, and snapped a shot of everyone as they waved and Moegi the safety lady shook her head, amazed.

Shot after shot after shot after shot, of the wall, his feet, the landscape, and even a stupid selfie of his face and a peace sign.   The clouds, the horizon, the bit of Santa Barbara in the far corner, everything painted in blue and white and teal and tan, a glorious picture.  His grin never left his mouth.  He'd gotten so distracted that when he got tapped on the shoulder, he jerked so hard he almost dropped his camera.

"No more photos," Sasuke gently pressed his Nikon down, his face suddenly very close.  Their legs were just barely touching, their knees barely scraping, and the realization that their promise was about to be fulfilled hit him like a jackhammer. 

Sasuke's eyes didn't look tired, even though the skin underneath looked tender, and Naruto could inhale and just breathe in Sasuke's smell of burnt firewood and laundry soup and sweat, so close and so tangible.

A smile crept onto Naruto's face; dopey, stupid, and the easiest way he could tell Sasuke how much he loved him.  With a sudden trepidation that accompanied his pounding heartbeat and shaky breath, he swallowed, "Okay."

After that, everything was too much for clear, rational thought.  Naruto remembered leaning in, forgetting his camera and letting it dangle from the strap around his neck as both of his hands found their way to Sasuke's soft cheeks. He stroked a gentle semi-circle under his favorite pair of eyes.  Sasuke had leaned the rest of the way, their noses touching and their breaths mingling.  There was a pause as they stared into each other's eyes, and then suddenly they were kissing.

It was amazing.  It tasted of salt like any other kiss would, but somehow more addicting.  Sasuke was hesitant but not shy of it, and no noses had gone anywhere horrible.  It was hard to breathe, to think, but somehow it didn't matter because it felt so damn good.  They didn't need fireworks, Naruto thought, his eyes sliding closed as he deepened the kiss.  Sasuke's free hand got lost and confused on where to go, but the blonde entwined their fingers and everything in the entire world was absolutely, heart-wrenchingly perfect.

The wolf whistles from the crowd caused Sasuke to jerk back and stiffen into a rigid statue of embarrassment.

Naruto gazed fondly at him, a stupid grin winning over his inhibitions and anxiety, and he squeezed his muse's fingers.

"H--" Naruto had to find his voice again, "How was it?"

Sasuke avoided meeting his eyes, "You tell me."

"You're not bleeding, so yours was better than mine," Naruto reassured him, "but really, I wanted your opinion.  Was it awful?"

Oh god, he hoped not.

Naruto watched conflicted emotions race across Sasuke's features, until he settled down in a face of passive nonchalance.  His muse snorted, "I wouldn't say awful.  Adequate."

In Sasuke-speech, that meant it was awesome.

"Lunch?" Naruto diverted the topic, securing the lens cap on his darling and preparing to repel down.

Sasuke nodded, wiping at his mouth with the side of his sleeve.

Naruto's lips tingled.  He bet that for Sasuke, it felt far stronger.

Brilliant, Naruto beamed a smile, as wide as his face would let it.  Fucking brilliant.  He wanted to kiss him a million times more.

* * *

"I kissed him!  Or, he kissed me!  Agh!  No!  We kissed, there, that's the correct way to say it!" Naruto gushed over the phone.

"Slow down, kiddo," Iruka sighed at the other end.  The sound of papers alerted him to the possible activity his foster father was doing, i.e. grading papers.  Not like Naruto cared he was interrupted that sort of thing.

He had to gush.  He couldn't just come back from a date with Sasuke and not shriek.  That was unholy.

"We!  Kissed!" The blonde emphasized, "Sasuke and I, we kissed and it was _glorious_!"

"You're just now kissing the boy?  You've been head over heels for weeks," Iruka probably had his eyebrow cocked, it was easy to imagine.

"I'll have you know it was our first date!  And he'd never been kissed before," the blonde whined.

It was amazing considering that!  Sasuke hadn't ever kissed anyone and, imagine, with practice-- Naruto stopped those thoughts.

Iruka made a choked noise, "Excuse me?  Isn't he twenty?"

"I... think he turned twenty one recently," Naruto recalled the impromptu birthday party, "That or he just turned twenty, which makes me potentially feel like a bit of a creeper for hitting on a nineteen year old.  No, he turned twenty one.  I'm pretty sure someone said something about being legal."

He's been about to panic.  God, he'd be a bit creepy if he'd been macking on a nineteen year old when he was twenty one.  No, twenty turned twenty one was much better.

"Not going to lie, I'm surprised.  I have it on very good sources that your boyfriend is highly attractive," Iruka sounded this side of skeptical, but both of them knew Naruto was shit at lying.

"He's not.  Wait, ugh, he’s hella attractive; what I mean is, we're not dating yet according to him," Naruto frowned, "It was our first date.  And he might've reluctantly agreed to a second one.  But it's not really a date.  He just wants an excuse to beat me up in the gym."

"Can you hold your own?"

Naruto scratched the back of his neck, "I'm gonna use my extra cash from tomorrow to get another gym membership.  I've been harassing myself to do it, anyway.  This is just extra incentive."

"Good, you're taking of yourself again.  I was getting a bit concerned, that living so on your own was making you depressed."

"No way!" Naruto shook his head, feeling a bit dumb after realizing that Iruka couldn't see it at all, “Plus, Kiba’s like a brother to me or something.  I never thought I needed someone to leave dirty socks everywhere but actually it’s helped a lot whenever I feel lonely.  You know me, I hate going out and socializing.”

Iruka laughed, "I'm glad to hear I was wrong.  How's Sakura?"

Ahhh, he'd been expecting that question.  Eventually.  But he really didn't want to answer… Shit.  He'd just thought about how bad he was at lying.  Might as well cough it up...

"...we sort of argued, and I had a panic attack."

"Kiddo, what happened?" His foster father's tone was loving and smooth and Naruto's wall of self-respect just crumbled.  Seriously, how did people resist telling Iruka everything?

"I dunno, it was about the whole gym thing.  She said something about me not being able to take her hits, and I uh… I dunno, I sort of went off on her or something.  We’re not fighting or anything but I broke down and started crying for almost no reason.  It’s weird, I’m so worried about keeping our friendship together that I freak out over it,” Naruto babbled.

Iruka sounded sad, “Friendships can be hard when you’re really close.  Remember, she’s probably worrying about the same things.  Just breathe easy and don’t be afraid to take things slow.  If seeing her so much makes you have panic attacks, ask her if you two can back off a bit until you’re more comfortable.  It’s Sakura, she’ll understand.”

“I still want to take care of her and be best friends though!  I don’t want to have to back off, she doesn’t deserve to deal with my bullshit.  She’ll get pissed off I kept how uncomfortable I am from her, or something.  Or that I lied about wanting to help her out,” He groaned, “I promised it wasn’t a big deal or had anything to do with her.”

“She can be hot-headed at times but she also has a warm heart,” Iruka mentioned, "Don't hold her every action against her.  Maybe you can sit down with her and discuss your side and listen to hers.  She responds well to respect."

"I like to think I know her better than you," Naruto grumbled, heaving a sigh, "but that's not true, is it?"

"For all your easy, light friendships, you are still terrified of people.  You don't try to analyze them deeply unless they mean a lot to you.  That's why everyone else seems so insightful."

"I--!" Naruto stopped himself.  He tried to understand people, but... Usually he didn't try too hard.  He made fast assumptions and he still panicked in crowds.

You never knew when that nice lady who baked you cookies and tucked you into bed at night and kissed your forehead would die from a deliberate pill overdose and you found her body covered in vomit and you spent three days trying to get her to wake up.  You never knew when the next guy, big beer belly and a gaggle of his own demented demon children, decided you were a good punching bag even though you were eight and you tried so hard to make him happy.  You never knew when the nice family turned out to hate you and sent you on and on and on until you were never in a house for more than a week, until sleeping outside was safer than with your 'foster' family and watching old guys with yellow teeth shoot up drugs was easier than going home.  You didn't know what a home was until a gang led by a bunch of absolute thugs gave you a headband and in exchange you beat up kids and adults until you were numb inside, until you didn't know why you were going to school---!

"Naruto!  You need to breathe!  Breathe!  In, out!  Breathe!"

Naruto coughed, clutching his chest.  His vision was dark and blinking only made the spots dance.  When had he stopped--?!  Fuck, he had totally lost control of himself.  He hadn't lost himself in a panic attack that bad since--since ever.  His chest shuddered as he regained control, his arm wiping at his stray tears and spit.

"Kiddo, are you okay?"

"...y-yeah," Naruto swallowed, his mouth tasting of stomach acid.

Iruka paused, then, "What happened?"

"I got stuck in the past," he confessed, closing his eyes, "Remembering why I have my social anxiety in the first place."

"Oh, fuck," His foster father cursed, "I triggered you somehow."

"No, no!  You can't blame yourself, I get screwed up like that sometimes, it's just part of my life!" The blonde hastily tried to reassure him.  Iruka couldn't blame himself, that was totally wrong and unfair!

"I'm sorry, we were just discussing how to keep Sakura from triggering you and there I went, doing it myself.  Naruto, I love you, and I’m so sorry," the brunet sighed.

"It’s not a big deal, it’s not your fault!" Naruto insisted.

His panic attacks sucked, they sucked a lot, but he’d been having them less and less, and only in specific circumstances.  Naruto had never once had a panic attack when he was with Sasuke, cheering crowd or no.  That had to mean something.

* * *

The day after the date was reserved so that Naruto had done his morning shift and the rest of the day was for photographing his models for the advertisement.

It was a group of five or six, six if he counted Karin, who refused to meet him at his place because she still didn’t feel comfortable yet.  He told her that he'd find another good location for her shoot on another day, so really, it was a group of five.

One of them was taller, gruff, and he introduced himself as Ibiki Morino.  His tattoos covered up scars just like Karin's, but his were war scars.  There were gorgeous flowers on bullet wounds and big angel wings on his back over a mess of skin so scarred the scars weren't distinguishable from each other.

Naruto could definitely work with him, because the contrast between gentleness and love symbolized on his skin and the man's closed off exterior was brilliant.

A girl, with long black hair tied back in a loose ponytail, introduced herself as Kin, and she made some disparaging jokes about hating weak women that probably would've offended Sakura to no end.  Naruto wasn't sure if he agreed or disagreed.

Her tattoos were a pair of elegant bells, looking as if they were a necklace and not a tattoo inked into her chest.

"Is there a story behind those?" Naruto asked.

"It's an Ariel thing.  I was silent for too long, so I lost my voice.  Only recently did I get over my selective mutism," Kin touched her chest gently, "Karin made sure the only models you would get wouldn't be superficial.  You like stories behind your art, don’t you?"

"Yeah, I… I don’t mean to say that tattoos for the sake of having art on your skin are bad, but that’s not what I’m into.  I like art that comes with stories.  Oh, shit, I didn’t mean to sound all dismissive or condescending, it's really inspiring that you got your voice back!" Naruto grinned sheepishly at her.

Kin scratched her arm, looking away, "I'm not pretty like most girls.  It'll be damn hard to get a good shot."

He snorted, "I can get a good shot of almost anything.  I didn't go to college for four years to graduate with nothing."

She smiled and it brought a hint of kindness to her haughty eyes, "I see.  I'll trust your judgment."

The next model was a man with silky blonde hair and a killer smile, a touch of guy-liner, and a glass eye on the right side.  His tattoo was on his chest and it was weird-looking in Naruto's opinion, like a stark black inked cartoon mouth with swirly designs.  Not that it was ugly.  Just odd.  The blonde introduced himself as Deidara, and had a habit of adding yeah or hm to his valley-girl-ish accent.  Everything about him screamed homosexual to Naruto.

“You remind me of this guy I used to know,” Deidara flipped his hair over his shoulder, “I have to tweet about it later, yeah.”

“What does your tattoo mean?”

Deidara suddenly turned dark, “You need to be at least a level 7 friend to unlock my tragic backstory.”

“Did you just quote tumblr?” Naruto asked incredulously.

“Holy shit, you’re on tumblr! Swap URLs with me later!” Deidara beamed at him, “We can be mutuals!”

Last of the models was the weirdest man Naruto had ever met.  Also the man with the most swag.  Nothing this man said wasn't in crazy rhyme, rapped out to a beat that only he could hear.  The big man was almost three times the size of Naruto himself and gave him an earth shattering fist bump, "Yo, don't forget 'bout lil ol' me!  I'm the bumping, grinding Killer Bee!"

"Did you just--" Naruto laughed, "Wow, dude."

"Don't go judging a brother like that, or he'll never lend a hand, true fact!" Killer Bee was posing, big, unflappable; and rather abruptly, Naruto thought he was the coolest guy ever.

"My bad, my bad!" He held up his hands innocently, "So where are your tattoos?"

"Drawn on my cheek are horns so to speak.  And on my shoulder, nothing bolder!  If yo sight's bereft, tis not on the left," and with that, Bee peeled off his biker jacket to reveal the second tattoo, a kanji on his dark skin.

"What do they say...?" Naruto inspected them harder, but his weeaboo phase had been skipped in his childhood, so he never actually bothered to learn any Japanese, his grandparents' ethnicity and culture dismissed entirely even though Iruka insisted he could take pride in it.

"Iron is the meanin' if you do Japanese readin'!" The big man explained.

"Wow," Naruto looked at them again, then panned his attention out to the entire group.

"Okay!  Who wants to go first?" He called, regaining Deidara, Kin, and Ibiki's attention on himself now that he knew everyone a bit better.

It looked like it was going to be a fun afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is wondering about my headcanons for the characters who showed up in this chapter:
> 
> Moegi is in high school working to be wildlife conservationist. Konohamaru is her boyfriend, and she makes fun of him for being homeschooled so long that he doesn't know how to high school. Udon is just, Udoning on, I guess, as the president of the high school chess club.
> 
> Deidara, like Itachi, works in the medical field. He travels around a lot and does a lot of lab work for medicines and anti-venom. Each part of his tattoo represents how many 'cures' he's found successfully. He adds a new part whenever he finishes a new serum or makes a new improvement on whatever he's working on at the moment. His lab assistants make fun of him for his extensive crush on Sasori and also for the sheer number of times he's "accidentally blown up" his lab equipment. Sasori is also a doctor, and has a stationary job at a hospital in Pakistan, mostly working with children and patients in intensive care. Kids love him because he brings in hand-made puppets for them to play with. (The friend Deidara mentions is Pein.)
> 
> And Killer Bee is a rapper who advocates for social change. I'm thinking of making Naruto hear him on the radio sometime in the future. Wouldn't that be cool?


	11. Keystoning

Kakashi was a filthy snooper because he was going through Naruto's prints, the ones taken yesterday that he'd had developed for him quickly at a stupid expensive shop.  Really, it hadn't been a ploy to brag about his much loved profession; he had planned to head straight to the university commons or cafeteria or whatever to meet Karin, tell her of the stunning spot he'd found, and give her the prints for her to pass on to the shop so they could see what they were going to pay for.  Kakashi going through his personal stuff was completely uncalled for.

"I like this one," Kakashi flipped through them at his leisure, the two of them waiting around in the vague shade provided by their tent.

The photo Kakashi had commented was one of Ibiki, but the tattoo on his back dominated the photo.  It showed the man against the black background with the wings in stark relief.  Ibiki was bad at getting his face not to look scary on film, so most of the ones of him were very focused on his body art.

"His were fun," Naruto recalled, "He had a great sense of humor underneath all his fear tactics.  He intimidated me a bit at the beginning."

"And the blonde?" Kakashi raised the judging silver eyebrow.

"Crazy packed into a flaming homosexual package," answered Naruto, who was laughing to himself, "And I mean no disrespect."

Kakashi flipped the photo over and commented, "His tattoo is the highlight yes, but you played up his body."

"I'm doing shady advertising.  His body was... lickable?"

"Oh really...?  I thought you already had a boyfriend..."

Naruto grumbled, "Not this again.  Okay, apparently I need to make this very clear: just because I'm dating someone does not mean all other people stopped being attractive.  It means I've stopped wanting to date them."

Kakashi made a noise of approval or something, something unknown to the blonde.  Like humming.  Maybe it wasn't approval at all and really was just humming.  He couldn't ever know for sure with Kakashi.  No other beast had ever been so wily.

"I haven't seen a single shot that hasn't impressed me, and I am not easily impressed," Kakashi slid the prints into their manila folder.  They were placed back in Naruto's backpack that he carried with him, back where Kakashi found them, "Have you considered where to go after this?"

Naruto furrowed his eyebrow, "I know what my dream job is, if that's what you're asking."

"No, that's not what I asked.  Do you know where you are going?"

"To meet with Karin, then home," Naruto crossed his arms, slightly ticked off.  He didn't appreciate how Kakashi felt that Naruto's entire life was apparently his business now.  They were only coworkers, the invasive questions were making him feel edgy and uncomfortable in his own skin. 

Why did Kakashi's eye make him feel so damn guilty?

So what if he was meeting with Karin?  That was business related only.  Plus, Sasuke had told him that summer finals were approaching in a couple weeks and he would be too busy with study group and other things to spend any time with him at the university this week.  Naruto understood but he was already feeling deprived, seeing that he'd only gotten clingier after their kiss.  The more of the drug, the more addicted Naruto became.

"You didn't listen," Kakashi scolded, "How do you expect to go anywhere in life?"

Naruto huffed, "I've got a job and some talent, and if that fails I have friends who'll help me."

"Your job is meager and your talent is unnoticed.  As for friends, you have a precious few," The silver haired man observed dryly.  Naruto reeled back, about to yell his lungs out about how big of a jerk this loser was and how Kakashi needed to drown himself in a cesspool, when he was cut off, "An actual plan is better.  Go to Itachi's auction.  There's no easier way to jump start your career than having an in with the faces that will attend that mess."

"The rich and famous," Naruto blinked, sort of stunned.

It's not an awful plan.  Show up, bring a portfolio, hope he catches someone's eye.  If they like his stuff, there's his instant key to getting recommended to some important people who might want his skill.

"Isn't that event tomorrow evening?  Bring a lady friend along and enjoy yourself," Kakashi's glass eye twinkled ominously.

But, Naruto thought, should he...?

The thought got shoved aside until after work, after when he picked up Karin from her dorm (last minute change of plans, she’d been running late in the pursuit of perfect wings on her eyeliner).  She’d spent enough time in front of the bathroom mirror once he got there that he had snuck in a quick Eskimo kiss to a grumbly Sasuke who was picking up a text book and looking as if he’d like to brain his professor with it.  Then after Naruto had pried Karin out of the bathroom with a promise that he’d fix her eye make-up digitally, he carted his model and himself off to the super-secret location.

Karin was being a good sport despite the fact she'd have to shower off the sand from her skin.  Semi-nude beach photos, Naruto laughed to himself, tucked away in a tiny inlet off the coast that had no beach so to speak, just rocks and sheer cliff.

They probably weren't allowed down here but they weren't hurting anyone.

He'd set up his black screen behind her, but he didn't like the look.  Naruto hummed, slightly displeased with both the wind and his backdrop.

"Nope, no back drop.  I did Kin without a back drop and one of Deidara too, and I want you against the cliff instead," Naruto thought aloud, rolling up his backdrop and packing it away, only a little worse for wear.

Karin waited patiently in her bathrobe.

"Agh, I'm sorry I'm being fussy," Naruto apologized, finishing with the backdrop and reconsidering where he wanted Karin.

"Hey, I'm not busy," she shrugged, heading over to the place he was pointing at.

Against the dark stone of the cliff, she painted a good picture, and Naruto wanted to take photos for himself of it, the great sheer height and the girl at the very bottom, looking up, in a yellow bathrobe patterned with rubber duckies.

He motioned for her to get in such position and snapped a couple shots just for himself, before he sighed and got back to work.

Karin dropped the bathrobe shamelessly.

Her tattoo was just as glorious in outdoor lighting, so he found it easy to get a good marathon of snapshots that would suffice.

The wind really started picking up just as they finished.  Naruto gave Karin his coat and an apologetic smile, "I didn't know it'd be this cold."

"I beat the cold made my nipples look good," she teased, even though they both knew he'd tried his best not to capture her nipples in any of his pictures.

"It made your hair look nice," Naruto admitted, "Like supermodel-with-a-fan hair."

"Damn, I'm fine," she joked, before noticing his expression, "Hey?  What's wrong?"

Naruto wiped the dejected look from his features quick, not even noticing that his smile had slipped, "Nothing!   I'm great, I'm great."

"Oh really," Karin raised an eyebrow.

"Really, just thinking," Naruto averted his eyes when she crossed her arms, which pressed her breasts up out of the coat in a fairly suggestive way.  He almost wanted to peel off his shirt and hand it over in a show of unnecessary chivalry, but instead just averted his eyes to back in front of himself.

"About?"

He grimaced, "I need a plus one to this auction thingie.  Sasuke's not going so my first thought was to ask Sakura, but..."

"The bossy one who gives you panic attacks?" Karin had heard enough stories of him and Sakura to not be impressed, but she just didn’t understand.

"Yeah--no!  Agh, really, she's not so bad," Naruto defended her, knowing it was futile to Karin's deaf ears.  As they came upon a tough rock to scale, he offered Karin a hand up, which she took.

"You’ve been avoiding her, haven’t you?  So make it an apology thing," The redhead winked and gave him a thumbs up.

"That's a cool idea," Naruto hoisted himself up after her easily, relishing the pang of sore muscles.  They still hadn't entirely recovered from his sudden restart of his fitness routine.

"Speaking of dates," Karin waggled her eyebrows, "Sasuke and I had a wonderful discussion about yours."

Naruto colored red, "You did?"

"Oh yes."

"Wha--What did he say?"  He leaned forward, way too far into her personal space.  He grabbed her shoulders and pulled his best puppy dog eyes.  He had to know!

"Hmm..." She smirked, "Should I really tell you?  I'd be betraying poor, innocent Sasuke's confidence."

"Please?  I swear I won't use the knowledge for evil!"  Naruto leaned closer, eager smile stretching his cheeks.

"You two are so cute," Karin shoved him away playfully, continuing to climb, "He said he had a good time, in Sasuke speech, and I won't dare repeat what he said about the kiss.  He'd destroy me--"

Naruto slumped, pretending devastation, "Aw, don't lead me on like that!"

"I'll tell you this!  He said he was glad he lost it, whatever that means.  He bugged me to harass you about it, you know!"

"He did?"

"He did."

"What did he want to know?" Naruto asked, climbing up a fairly big rock and assisting Karin up behind him.

She made a disgruntled face, "If you were disappointed.  I think I spoke for you when I said there was no way in hell."

"You did.  Fuck, why would he think-- because he's inexperienced?" Naruto grunted, slightly irritated, "I fucking love him, I don't give a shit about that."

Ugh, had he not reassured him somehow?  After they finished rock climbing, Naruto had not stopped smiling the whole damn way back into town and beyond, even when the waitress was a snide homophobe and they'd messed up his order at lunch, or when some asshole who didn’t deserve his driver’s license cut him off on the way back to Sasuke's dorm.  And Naruto usually didn't smile when that shit happened.

"I should hit him," Naruto crossed his arms, "Thinking I'd care about stupid shit like that.  He doesn't look sensitive at all but really he's a little baby bird, and ugh, now I have a cute mental image, dammit, why can't I stay mad at him?!  He's dumb!  I'm dumb!  Ugh, why do I love him?!"

Karin cackled wildly and slapped his arm, "You said the 'L' word!"

Naruto lost his train of angry thoughts, "I said what?"

"The 'L' word; you said it, like, twice," she whispered, like it was horrible awful secret between the two of them.

"Shit," he blinked, "Can you unhear it?"

"No, I think it's glorious," Karin brushed her mane of red off her shoulder, where the wind kept blowing it.

"Please, please don't tell him I said anything!  I got way way too clingy way too fast and no one wants anything to do with that--"

"I'll admit he doesn't seem nearly so attached to you, but as far as I've ever known, it takes years for him to get attached.  The only person I've ever heard him say he loved was his brother, and from what I know, Itachi and he still have deep unresolved issues between them.  So don't be discouraged.  You have to love him to put up with all of his, um, stuff."

"You can call his bastard streak a bastard streak," Naruto smiled a touch mischievously, "I won't get offended when it's true.  He can be a real dick."

Karin sighed dreamily, "And you love him."

Naruto blushed, "Only a little."

"Lies, that's the face of a completely smitten boy!" Karin pinched his cheeks, grinning.  Something about her selfless happiness made her stunning, smoothed out her skin and eased up her eyes in little half-moons.

Naruto hurriedly whipped out his camera and took the photo, no time wasted on adjusting his settings.  It would be blurry, he had been set for distance, but he just needed to capture that expression.

Karin didn't seem to mind at all.

* * *

Any girl free on a Tuesday night offered with a sincere apology, her favorite flowers, and an invitation to a Gala cum Auction would relent at some point, especially if she hadn’t even been that angry in the first place.  Naruto wasn't quite sure if it was the rambling sincere apology or the flowers that convinced her to take pity on him.

"It's important for your job, is it not?" She had rationalized, which was how they were here.  Here being the National History Museum, about to turn in the invite for a red wrist ribbon.

Security had the place blocked off and their invite had already been scanned and their IDs checked.  It was crazy in Naruto's opinion.  All the publicity of a fancy-smanshy uppity auction for the rich and privileged.  He had questions as to how it had even been organized; an art auction in Santa Barbara with items from local artists donated to the auction in hopes of raising money for hospitals in Africa organized by a married gay (and most importantly completely unknown) couple.  How did it even come about?  Were strings being pulled somehow?

Because if Naruto wasn't mistaken, celebrities had arrived here.  Rich, famous celebrities.

"I feel like a peasant," Sakura whispered, tying the red ribbon around her wrist and glancing inside.

"I couldn't even get my hair to stay down, I look worse than a peasant," Naruto groaned, recalling the shuddering hours beforehand where Sakura had tried to tame his hair and get him in decent clothes.

He looked like a misshapen quilt with a yellow porcupine for hair.  Sakura looked stunning in comparison, all smooth skin and freshly dyed hair.  She was wearing a dress he'd never seen her in before, sheer layered pink fabric that draped down from a brocade collar.  It was very close to her hair color, and her short pink hair was tamed into an elegant bun.

Naruto might've demanded photos before they'd left... Might've meaning definitely.

"You don't have a baby bump," she remarked, looking around the museum in muted awe.

"I just have a beer belly," Naruto joked, searching the halls for Itachi's husband, Kisame Hoshigaki, who was the only person he even knew that would be here.  Instead he found auction catalogs covered in his photography and with his name printed at the bottom in a clear bold on a table, one for every guest.

Naruto grabbed one and moved on, even though Sakura was still examining the exhibits on the way to the auditorium.

"We'll have to come back here later," Sakura said as Naruto returned to drag her forward, "I want to look at the displays."

"We're here so I can pimp myself out!" Naruto reminded her in a harsh whisper.  "Do you know who could be here?  Millionaires."

"Magazine editors, people of contacts and influence.  You already gave me this rant.  Mucho importante," she rolled her eyes.

"Very!  You should think about your career too.  You still need a job, don't you?"

"I have a job!"

"You're a waitress," Naruto pointed out.  Weren't college graduates supposed to be above minimum wage jobs?  Weren't they supposed to break into the higher stratum now?

"That's a job," Sakura poked him in the side.

The blonde sulked and swatted her hand away, "What happened to being a wedding photographer?"

"I can't try to start a business when I'm pregnant," She insisted, and he wanted to groan and shake her that she wasn't going to be able to start a business taking care of a kid either if she followed that train of thought.  If everything carried to term, she was investing herself in 18 years of being a dedicated, adjusted parent.  Starting a business wouldn't get any easier until her kid was in its teens.

"Maybe you could join a wedding photography place that already exists," Naruto mused aloud, stroking his non-existent theoretical beard.  Sakura had made him shave extra well, despite how little facial hair he actually had.  His scars made shaving a painful sort of ordeal but beards were itchy, so he was always stuck in perpetual shaving cycles of hating his stubble but hating shaving.  Sakura wouldn't stand him if he actually kept the stubble, so shaving usually won.

Naruto thought idly about whether or not Sasuke liked facial hair.  Probably not, his skin had been smooth and soft under Naruto's palms, not a hint of dark hair anywhere.  But there were those that liked facial hair on their partners...

Naruto felt himself jerked back very suddenly, his arm yanked hard.

Sakura slapped his shoulder as an unknown man passed them by, "You almost ran into him!"

"Shit," Naruto turned to watch him walk by.  How had he gotten so caught up in Sasuke that he hadn't noticed a stranger in the hall, right in front of him?

"Language!  Did you see him?  That suit was designer!  He was rich as all get out!" Sakura hissed, "Please do us both a favor and not embarrass yourself horribly?"

"I try," Naruto huffed, turning away.  Why was she up in arms when it was his future career on the line?  She didn't have to-- he inhaled deeply and counted to ten...  She was helping.  She wasn’t judging, Sakura was keeping him from doing stuff that would make a scene and probably make him puke his guts out on some celebrity.

"Do you remember who you want to find here?  Any memorable guests or such and such?"

"I didn't have a guest list!" Naruto retorted, scanning the crowd as they entered the main auditorium, "We need to find Kisame Hoshigaki first.  He'll know."

"Isn't he the host?" Sakura raised an eyebrow.

"...yes?"

Sakura pointed at the front of the room, to the table that was clearly for the host, and lo and behold, was where Kisame stood at the front table, drinking wine and discussing something with a short portly man most likely rich and influential.

Naruto gulped, "Yeah, that's him."

"Well?  Go on," Sakura encouraged, "Go greet him so I can get out of these shoes faster."

"I told you not to wear heels," Naruto glanced down at her hellish contraptions.  They looked scarier than when he accidentally punched his dorm supervisor in the nose and had to appeal that yes, there really was a monkey wrench, an empty maru-chan ramen cup, a bouquet of daisies, a burrito, and a pizza delivery boy that had contributed to his mismanaged fall.

"I told you to use cover-up on your scars but no," she shot back.

"I never wear make-up if I don't have to!" Naruto scratched at one of the ones on his cheek, "My scars make me look badass."

"You look like you got in a knife fight with an angry fox and lost."

"Hey, I'm a super awesome fox trainer.  I have experience!"

"Since when?"

"Since I helped Kiba with one of the foxes the shelter rescued.  It was an exotic pet for some old fogey that kicked the bucket," Naruto laughed, remembering the vicious furry thing.

Sakura's eyes dulled a tiny bit, from their usual sparkling green, as she said in a subdued accusatory tone, "You didn't say anything to me about it."

"Skipped my mind," Naruto paused about 10 feet from the main table and turned to her, "What should I even say?"

"Just anything," she reprimanded.

"Gotcha..." He sighed.  She stayed where she was and made shooing motions.  He was on his own for this.

Once he'd reached the table, Kisame noticed him and waved.

"Mr. Tohru, this is the photographer that helped create the catalog you are perusing," Kisame made a hand motion and then turned his small hazel eyes to Naruto's blue, "We appreciate your appearance, Mr. Uzumaki, as well as your lady friend's."

"Uh, yes, thank you," Naruto felt his breathing pick up.  No, no, he couldn't have a panic attack now. He glanced over at Sakura and took a deep breath.  He could do this.

"Much obliged," Sakura called from her spot and waved, smiling perfect as a peach.

"Mr. Uzumaki?" The portly man who Kisame referred to as Tohru tilted his head slightly, thin lips pulled into an almost comical frown, "You look a striking image of Minato Namikaze.  The state senator, almost won presidency about 20 years back at 36 years old..."

Naruto scratched the back of his head, laughing awkwardly, "Before my time."

Yeah, his dad sure had been.  He'd known his dad hadn't survived the car accident that gave Naruto the first of his many facial scars.  He'd known his dad was a big politician too.  He'd just never heard someone say he looked similar.  He supposed he should.  Same hair with the same tendency to not stay flat, same baby blues, a not dissimilar physique.  He had a touch of his dad in his jaw and nose but his eyes and his mouth were solely his mom's.  He had her smile through and through.

The portly man laughed, "Of course, of course.  Your photography is very professional.  Now, Mr. Hoshigaki, if you please, can you inform me of the location of your lovely wife?"

Wife?! Naruto almost took a step back and sputtered incoherently, but Sakura had come up from behind them and her threatening foot above his shoe had him cringing and he regained his composure.

"My spouse, Mr. Tohru," Kisame correctly gently, "could not attend the event this evening."

"Well, where is she, then?  I have been so hoping to meet the woman who arranged this all.  Spectacular showing."

"My spouse is flying back to Brazzaville this evening," The giant said, a touch of annoyance barely detectable in his voice.

"The missus shouldn't have left you to host this alone!  How presumptuous of her," Tohru sneered, "to make a man do a woman's work."

"How presumptuous of you, Mr. Tohru," Kisame reprimanded in his heavily accented voice, "to think I did not want to be here this evening, and must be coerced to spend time with you."

“Of course, my apologies.  Oh, look, those delicious shrimp croquettes are going fast.  I must snag one before they’re all gone.”  Clearly realizing his blatant mistake, Tohru scrambled off, leaving Kisame alone with Naruto and Sakura.

Seeing that they hadn't left, Kisame grinned and said, "I hate those dicks."

Naruto covered his laugh but it still escaped, too loud, as his opinion of the tall, muscular man in the dark suit was changed instantly.

Sakura too had choked on her... Was that a drink?  When had she picked up refreshments?

"More of Itachi's scene than yours, huh?" Naruto recovered, wiping his eyes for errant moisture.

"Itachi?" Sakura asked, left in the dark.

"My husband," Kisame explained, "he's the one who arranged this soirée, as he'd call it.  Itachi is the older brother of Naruto's boyfriend."

"Oh," Sakura blushed, a tiny bit embarrassed.

"So why're you the host?" Naruto asked again, "This is, like, Itachi's thing."

"Itachi certainly deals with this part, the small talk part, better, but he refuses to come out to large events like this.  There's just too much of a chance of being recognized."  Kisame frowned, "Forget I said that."

"Why?" The blonde blinked.

"Sasuke means a lot to my husband," Kisame threatened in an odd tone of voice, "and Itachi has made it part of his life's mission to protect him."

Naruto took a step back, into Sakura, who again looked utterly confused.  Not that Naruto blamed her.  What the fuck?  Kisame wasn't making any sense.  Protecting Sasuke from what?  How was Itachi not attending a gala/auction protecting Sasuke?

"Um, okay...?" The blonde muttered, too stubborn to drop eye contact.  It felt like if he did, he'd lose.  He didn't know what he'd lose though.

"It's nothing, kid.  What do you think of this shindig?" Kisame dropped his eyes and changed the topic, freeing Naruto from whatever battle he'd been in.

"It's very professional," Sakura said, evidently glad that the conversation had steered back from crazy zone.

What _had_ Kisame meant by all of that?

"Very fancy," Naruto mumbled, still thinking over the bizarre commentary, "Nice?"

"He's here to promote himself," Sakura helpfully provided, putting a gentle hand on his arm.  She really did present herself like a princess.  She stood out as one of the most beautiful girls in this room and she wasn't even famous.  Although most of the people looked older, and maybe he was biased.  He always thought Sakura was beautiful.

"You here to find some bigwig magazine company editor or something?" Kisame laughed, "Sure, no big thing.  There's a couple people to look for."

"Who?" Sakura asked, shaking Naruto slightly to pull him out of his revelry.  He blinked, returning to the conversation.

Kisame was subtly motioning to a pair of men in matching suits, one with long brown hair and the other with short white-blonde, "See those men over there?  That's Hashirama Senju and his brother, Tobirama.  They're editors of a local magazine company.  Can't remember which is which for the life of me."

"Okay," Naruto nodded.  Not the crowd he was looking for when he thought rich and influential but any connections were good connections.

Sakura tapped his arm, "That's great, they look very open and friendly.  We'll definitely put in a good word for you with them, Naruto."

"Then over there is Nagato and his wife Konan.  They own a small photography company called Akatsuki, and they do every type of photography work you can think of.  Konan is famous for doing visual illusions with photography and origami," Kisame referred to a woman in a modest black and red dress affair and a man with bright red hair, like Karin's.  They looked both rich and intimidating.

"Wow..." Naruto grinned, that was kind of cool.  They seemed more pretentious than Naruto's cup of tea but he could manage with that.

"And there is Danzou.  He works for US Weekly."

Tanned, scars on his chin, and a glass eye.  He was well cut and wore a tailored suit.  Out of all of them, he was the scariest.  But also the most famous.  US Weekly was not The National Geographic, but it was a step in the right direction.  That would be the guy he should go for.

US Weekly was super big, super famous.  Knowing an editor like that would skyrocket Naruto to success.

"How should we talk to them?" Sakura asked, the picture of confidence.  She brushed a strand of pink out from her bun and twirled it around her finger, and Naruto smiled, glad she had his back.

"I'd bring yourselves around and act the part of host.  Ask everyone how they're doing, tell them how fucking great what they're doing is, and how bloody happy you are that they support the cause.  If you're lucky, they'll make small talk," Kisame shook his head, "Not that I know how to manipulate conversations like that.  That's Itachi's trade.  Blunt is better, in my opinion."

"Okay.  I can do this," Naruto reminded himself.  Sakura took his hand and squeezed, and he smiled back at her.  This is how he and Sakura were supposed to be.

He'd be taking on the world and she'd be there, no matter what.  Saying the right things, looking perfect, that was just how she rolled.  None of the drama.  None of the insecurity.

And here she was, exactly the same look in her eyes that he'd seen when he'd told her he was going to counseling to fix himself, when he told her he wasn't going to drop out, when he told her he was going to quit his gang and reform his life.  This was the Sakura he remembered.  He'd been scared that somehow things had changed and she was this whole new strange scary person.  But she wasn't.  Sakura was always right there.  Always there for him, and he was endlessly grateful.

She gave him a half smile, "Go on, Naruto.  I'm with you all the way."

He beamed at her, "I know!"

* * *

The evening gala had almost drawn to a close when Naruto had gotten around to talking to Danzou Shimura.

Sakura had enjoyed Konan's company immensely and Naruto had related to Nagato with only a minor disagreement over methods (telling him that film cameras were dead and that digital is the future is one way to get on Naruto’s nerves), and Sakura had walked out of that with a potential job offer in her pocket and a ridiculously big smile.  He was happy for her, obviously.

Naruto had talked to the Senju brothers, distant relatives of his photography teacher Tsunade, and found they ran a local paper that was very go green, protect nature.  They weren't rich or influential, but they were hoping to help save lives and improve hospital conditions by bidding items at the auction.

Hashirama confessed that he'd be really surprised if he walked out of there with anything.

They were an excellent company, but they were so small that barely any local readers picked up their magazine anymore.  Naruto decided that they were his last result, and even if they were all the connections he got out of this, he would totally fine with it.  He liked them, and they liked him back.  Said he had good spunk, even when he almost ran off on them when they asked too many questions for his comfort.

Naruto's last target was Danzou then.  And even though the auction was about to start, he had weaseled his way into the crowd that Danzou had gathered and had finally got an audience with the man.

"Hello, um, how has your evening been so far?" Naruto asked, trying not to sound pushy and failing.

"Fine, thank you," Danzou raised an eyebrow, placing his glass of champagne on the table.

"That's cool," Naruto scratched the back of his head, panic rising in his throat.

"...who might you be?" The older editor leaned back in his chair.

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki, the photographer, my name's on the catalog, um--"

Danzou picked up the catalog with ginger fingers, "So I see."

"I was just, like, seeing if you were having a good time!" Naruto held up his hands, panicky, desperate that Danzou didn't call security on him or something equally mortifying.

"I was." Danzou did not leave this statement with a way for Naruto to respond, or attempt to cut a more inviting picture lounging back in his chair.

"And um, this is my friend, Sakura Haruno," the blonde tried to direct the attention away from him, foist off some conversation somehow.  Danzou's critical uninterested conversation made it very difficult for him to say much, and he felt a pressure in him, like a ticking bomb, that he was about to have a panic attack because of how he couldn't talk to this man.  Because of how scared he was.

"It's a pleasure to meet you.  What's your opinion on the evening's refreshments?  I particularly enjoyed the smoked salmon," Sakura casually dominated the conversation, completely calm even though Danzou's critical eye had turned on her and was scrutinizing, comparing, sizing her up--

"The king salmon was indeed good if not over the top for such an event as this.  What did Mr. Hoshigaki say, imported from...?"

"Japan," Sakura supplied.

Danzou's unsmiling lips did not so much as lift up in impressed surprise, but his eyebrows drifted upwards a millimeter.  He did not affect as respectful but rather the look of someone amused by the lowly peoples in front of him.

"I suppose you're here to sway me to your advantage," Danzou said softly, "But is it the subpar photographer or the witty plus one looking for better prey?"

Naruto saw red, "Subpar?!"

"Subpar, for an event like this.  Sure, you catch everything in that kitschy Instagram style," the man smoothed out a wrinkle in his suit pants, preparing to stand up and leave, "but teenaged girls with camera phones made vintage worthless."

Sakura gaped and Naruto shuddered with rage.  The type of rage that wouldn't subside, that took control of all his thoughts, the rage he had pretended was never in him--he was going to snaprightinfrontofeveryoneHOWFUCKINGDAREHETREATHIMLIKEHEWAS

SUBPAR

WORTHLESS---

"But maybe it isn't you?  Maybe it's this girl that you brought.  Sakura, was it?  You seem to be hiding something under all that pink?"

It wasn't Naruto that snapped first.  Sakura did.

"How dare you!" Sakura balled up her fists, eyes wide with fury, "We were just being nice and you insulted both of us!  I admit our intentions weren't altruistic but we weren't trying anything underhanded!"

Danzou laughed, dark and harsh, "I see.  I am afraid I misunderstood.  With such talk, I was sure you two were out for something."

Naruto shuddered as the rage suddenly left him feeling hollow, empty inside.  His thoughts seemed to echo in the expanse his anger had left when it subsided.  He just stared at Danzou, feeling relieved...?

"..." Naruto looked down on his clenched fist, and slowly relaxed his fingers into a loose curl.

"I apologize.  The celebrity life isn't something I'm accustomed to.  I'm very tired of everyone lying with a fake smile to me when all they want is money or to stab me through in my sleep."

"It's okay, I guess, but I don't quite forgive you, for what you said about Naruto's photography," Sakura crossed her arms stiffly, a stubborn tick in her jaw, "We were in photography classes together all throughout college.  Tsunade Senju was our professor.  If you know the business, you'll know that he has talent enough to impress her!"

Naruto blinked, blue eyes tilting up to meet Sakura's.

She gave him a determined, resolute look, "Tsunade loved your photography, Naruto, she thought you had something you could go far with."

Naruto wiped the wetness from his eyes and smiled at her, "Thanks, Sakura."

Danzou coughed, drawing both of their attention back to him.

"Touching as that is, this is not the time or the place.  The auction is about to start.  I will trust in Tsunade Senju's judgment.  That woman had amazing talent before her retirement to teaching, and I can't imagine her being wrong about a promising pupil.  Send me a portfolio... It will be interesting to see how you develop as an artist."

"Really...?" Naruto mouthed dumbly, "Really?!"

"Of course."

"Holy shi---Thank you!  Thank you so much, Mr. Shimura, sir."

"Of course."

"Wow..." Naruto grinned, watching the man leave.

Sakura punched him in the arm, "He still insulted you, you know!"

* * *

As soon as Naruto got home from the auction, he called Sasuke.  He was brimming with weird feelings and for some reason he was sure that his boyfriend's deep voice would stabilize that out into something that would let him catch some sleep.

"It's 10 at night," Sasuke grouched.

"Hello to you too, honey," Naruto rolled his eyes, a smile on his face already.

"Is there a point to this?"

"Uh, yeah!  I wanted to say congratulations!" The blonde scratched his cheek, "All of your designs sold.  One even sold to that famous actress, um, she plays that princess in that one movie?  Princess Gale? Yuki something?"

"Yukie Fujikaze?" Sasuke sounded confused, "Are you making fun of me?"

Naruto snorted, "Of course not!  She really bought it!  Your designs were fantastic and obviously a bunch of people were bidding for them. Pisses me off a bit that such a famous actress got one, though.  You're now very rich."

"I don't get any of the money, Naruto," Sasuke heaved a heavy sigh, "The Congolese health system has much needed funds, that's what."

"You hypothetically would be rich if you'd gotten the money."

"I'll hypothetically hurt you with my bare hands if you don't let me get some sleep," Sasuke threatened, but his voice was soft with sleep and his whole demeanor sounded like he was making a play threat instead of a real one.

Naruto cradled the phone in his hands gingerly, "Are we still on for later?"

"Not if I don't get a full night's worth of sleep.  You do realize I am a college student with a part time job.  I don't revolve around your existence."

"You shouldn't.  That would be totally unhealthy!  I mean, right?"

Sasuke made a soft noise, between a scoff and a hum, "You finally said something I agree with."

"You're being mean," Naruto smiled, whining for the sake of whining.

"Did you get an in with any editors or whatever?" Sasuke asked, heading straight back to business and cutting off Naruto's playful teasing.

"Yeah, but he was... hrm...?  I don't know how to say it but, er, he was kind of an ass?  I get that famous people are dicks on principle but like, he was an especially mean dick."

"So don't work for him," Sasuke yawned, "Find someone else better."

"But I really want the job!" Naruto groaned, head flopping back and shoulders hunched.  It wasn't as easy as Sasuke was making it sound.

"I don't know what to tell you, my brain doesn't function this late.  Come again later, we're closed at this hour," his boyfriend drawled, and Naruto could hear the eye roll in his speech.  And the worst part was that he knew Sasuke was right.  He was complaining about circumstances that were completely healable or even avoidable.  If he hated his future boss so much, don't work for him.  If he only disliked him, but wanted the job more, then he should suck it up.

Naruto smiled softly, "Thanks for, you know..."

"I don't, actually," Sasuke groaned, "Dear god, hang up already."

The blonde snickered, "Can't you do that?"

The raven haired man hissed, "Yes, I can!  Bye!"

A click, and the line went dead.

Naruto laughed so hard that Kiba threw a dirty sock at his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates are going to start taking longer. I'm sorry. Have a quick update because I love you all.
> 
> Also hurrah for Sakura love. She was the first character I fell in love with when I watched Naruto, and somehow in all the shipping wars I lost that love for her. But I'm doing my best to revive it because I love ladies, and I love Sakura, and everything is perfect. I looked up maternity dresses for her and I totally found a perfect one for this occasion. She is a super stylish babe with a baby.


	12. Lux

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize both for the timing of this chapter (it's super late) and the quality of it. I really am sorry that I've lost a lot of writing inspiration. As always, everyone's nice comments keep me going. As for the mean ones, I won't dignify those with any more of a response than I already have. I am going to put up the Hinata/Kiba fanfic again at some point, but I didn't like the quality of it in the first place, hence why I deleted it instead of leaving it. Anyways, I'm done rambling. Please enjoy. The next chapter will probably be out in June or July.

Kiba only sort of understood.

"So it's like, you're writing a resume in pictures?" The senior in college asked, leaning over Naruto's shoulder as the blonde put away more prints into a bright orange folder.

"It's called a portfolio," Naruto said, "And it is a thing artists make.  To get jobs.  And stuff."

"So you're gonna take this to scary US Weekly guy and he's gonna hire you."

"That is the plan-stan," Naruto shrugged, sliding in the cover letter last and admiring his so-called masterpiece.  It was the last thing he was going to do before heading out to see Sakura at her house and watch Sharknado to relax the both of them.  What was better than B-horror movie classics to mend the fragmented relationship between best friends?  It was also an excuse to talk to her about vitamins because Iruka kept harassing him to harass her about staying super healthy while pregnant.

"You put a picture of Karin in a bathrobe in there," Kiba mumbled, "And you're giving it to a US Weekly creep?"

"She was alright with it," Naruto pointed out, because he had asked.

"It's still kind of out there," Kiba flipped through the photos aimlessly, stopping on some of the good shots he did for tattoo advertising and a couple older shots he put in his senior portfolio that were more space filler than actual content, even if some of the scenery was breathtaking.

Naruto stopped his nitpicking, deciding it was as good as it was going to get, and let himself inhale deeply, enough so that his head started to feel cleaner and his heart stopped feeling like lead.  He mumbled, "I have a bad feeling about this, and I don't know why."

"I'd say something about animal instincts but--" The brunet made this face of realization, but Naruto was almost sure it doubled as orgasm face.  Too bad he'd never find out.  "Oh yeah, so remember that fox?"

"Way to abruptly change the topic.  What are you, that dog from Up whose head almost twists off every time he sees a squirrel?"

Kiba swatted at him, "Shut up, I keep forgetting to bring it up and it's important.  That fox you helped me out with at the shelter's not doing too good.  He's sulking again, and long term kennel time is totally getting to him.  Since no one else wants him..."

Naruto ceased balancing his pencil on his nose and looked back at Kiba, "Seriously?"

The ex-frat boy shrugged, "He's cute sometimes?"

"No, I mean, you can't seriously be trying to get me to adopt this fox.  It was tiny satan with claws when I helped you out with it," Naruto rubbed his forehead, feeling for once exasperated with his roommate, "We already have Akamaru!"

"He, it's a he.  And he needs a home, Naruto!" Kiba groaned, slumping over.

_Needs a home..._

Naruto's bleeding heart would literally fucking kill him someday.

"Fuck it, I'll adopt him.  He was pretty cute--wait, does he have a name?"

Kiba slipped and fell off the chair he had been delicately balanced on.  Stumbling back to his feet, he mumbled, "I didn't think you'd actually agree?!"

"Homeless things get to me," Naruto said, one of the most openly honest things he'd admitted about his own past to someone other than Sakura or Sasuke in the past few months, "Don't avoid my question, does he have a name?"

"We've been calling him Kyuubi, because he's a little demon," Kiba snorted, "The name on his collar is so scratched up we can't see anything but the K."

Kyuubi sounded a bit too much for the fox, so Naruto brainstormed for a second.

“What about Kurama, doesn’t that sound better?”

“There is no way I’m letting you name that poor fox after a fucking Yu Yu Hakusho character.”

“You love that show, you binge-watched like _all of it_ with me!  Anyway you can’t stop me once I adopt him,” Naruto grinned, happy with the name he’d chosen, silly origin aside. "Let me go clear it with the landlord and pay the pet fee, buy some pet things, stuff like that, then I'll go adopt the little devil… oh, but maybe I should also ask my bf."

"Sex-on-legs won't give a shit whether or not you adopt a fox," Kiba pointed out, and it was a valid point.  Sasuke rarely cared about things like that, or actually in general, but still, he somehow felt like he should say something just in case.  And they did sort of have a gym date coming up.

Naruto flipped open his portfolio, switched out two of the picture from the front to put them in the back, before groaning and closing his picture-resume, swearing that this time for real he was done tinkering.  He had to stop panicking over this dumb bullshit.  Danzou had liked his work, and was already considering him, so all this panic was only a cause of future stomach ulcers.

And why should he be concerned about that when he'd just decided that he was adopting an exotic pet out of the blue, and needed to get a license for that too?  Why should he even think of Danzou when a gym date with Sasuke meant potentially seeing his boyfriend in light clothing?  All of that exposed skin would ruin him and he was worried about some dumb portfolio?!

In light of all the other exciting things Naruto's life was coming up with, one measly portfolio couldn't be that bad.  Naruto grinned.  Everything would definitely be just fine.

* * *

"You got everything in the car?" Sasuke asked, sliding into the passenger's seat.  He was almost frowning, but Naruto knew better.  He was enjoying himself or he wouldn't keep coming.

Since they'd started going out more and Sasuke was trying to squeeze out the last bits of relaxation before finals week, he was far more open to going places and hanging out with him for no reason.  Sasuke'd specified that they weren't dates and he was just desperate to get out of his dorm, so Naruto did his best to keep his hands to himself and everything strictly friendly.  Well, he couldn't help flirting a bit, but that was all!  It was great, though, seeing him so much.  Plus, today he was going to be a great help because Naruto needed to go adopt the fox, which, remembering the the orange fireball's spitting wrath, would take more than one person. 

"Yeah, I picked up the dog carrier, the food, the everything.  I even bought him a cute collar!" Naruto grinned, producing a thin strip of ramen-patterned dog collar.

Sasuke snorted, "Dork."

"Oh yeah?  Says the person who's so lonely, you beg to come with me—ack!" Naruto had to fend off Sasuke's attempt to claw out his eyes.

Satisfied that he'd terrified Naruto enough, Sasuke swatted him on the back of his head, "Just start the car.  Kiba told you not to be late." 

He groaned, but did as his boyfriend instructed.  Like the last drive they went on, Sasuke was keeping silent, so Naruto turned on the radio.  It was playing Fall Out Boy, which was hopefully good?  Naruto really liked their latest album but he'd never actually gotten around to discussing music with Sasuke.  Who knew what music Sasuke liked? 

"Not hipster music?" Sasuke smirked, but his fingers drummed along anyway.

Naruto grinned and sang loudly along, feeling like a million bucks, "PUT ON YOUR WAR PAINT!  OH YEAH I'M GONNA CHANGE YOU LIKE A REMIX AND THEN RAISE YOU LIKE A—"

"Please stop, I think I'm deaf," Sasuke said dryly.

"My singing is not bad!"

"You can't carry a tune.  At all.  We should both just not sing.  Ever."

Naruto poked his muse's shoulder, "Are you telling me you can't sing?"

"It's my lack of enthusiasm; I've been told I sound like a stoned Eeyore," Sasuke frowned, "I don't suck nearly as much as you."

"I never thought you'd willingly admit to being bad at something!" Naruto smiled, reaching out and entwining their fingers with his free hand, "It's okay to suck."

"Shut up!" Sasuke said, before laughing sourly under his breath, "That's what she said."

"DID YOU JUST MAKE A DIRTY JOKE?!" Naruto almost served off the road, he was so shocked.

"Technically you made that joke all by yourself," Sasuke looked pointedly out the window, before he snickered, "I've never thought it was okay to fail, but it's weirdly relieving to think that way.  I grew up with these crazy standards, trying to be everything."

"Crazy standards?"  Naruto asked.

Sasuke shrugged, "I had those parents who make you take all these classes and stuff.  Gymnastics was one of many; we took singing lessons, horseback riding lessons, drawing lessons, stuff like that.  Itachi was good at literally everything so my parents expected me to be too.  Turns out I can't sing, I'm not nearly as bendy as Itachi, and horses hate me."

"Ah," Naruto scratched his head, "I wouldn't know what that was like.  I didn't really have much parental control when I was a kid.  It sounds like it sucked though."

"It wasn't that bad.  I wasn't unhappy," Sasuke sighed, "Stop making me sappy.  I feel all gross."

When they arrived, the animal shelter wasn't terribly busy.  There was one other car in the parking lot, which looked a lot like a pest extermination van that had been repurposed to look like the Mystery Machine.

"Nice place," Sasuke remarked.

"Yeah, yeah, let's just go pick up the fox."

Shino, the desk attendant, waved them on to the back.  Somehow he just knew what they were here for, without conversation.  It scared Naruto a little, because this wasn't the first time.  Sometimes he wondered if Shino could read minds. Just to be belligerent and to test this theory, Naruto tried to channel thoughts of Kiba trying to twerk to Shino across the room.

Shino regrettably did not react.

"Stop making faces," Sasuke pushed him along, already done with Naruto's bullshit.

And Kiba was waiting for them in the back, repeating a familiar scene.  The brunette struggled and cursed at the stubborn fox, which was doing the best impression of a satanic demon beast from hell.

"Deja vu," Naruto said, watching Kiba fail to extract the fox from its kennel.

"Just help me, dude!  I swear, this thing'll kill me in our sleep," Kiba gave up, leaving the angry fox in its cage and walking over to them with his hands in his pockets.

Sasuke's eyes stayed on the fox, and when it turned to face away from them, he made a weird noise, kind of like a gasp and an annoyed groan.

"You okay over there?" Naruto asked, looking back at his boyfriend.

"I was just surprised.  Does that fox have three tails?"

"Yeah, cool, huh?"

"Cool is one way to put it," Kiba complained, "This fox is impossible."

Sasuke leaned down to the kennel and held out his hand.  The pair stared at each other for a long while, until the fox averted his gaze.  He immediately left the kennel and came up to Sasuke and bit him, but otherwise was docile as ever once his mouth was busy chewing on Sasuke's fingers.  "Who owned him before this?"

"This rich old guy who lived in Hollywood, I think his name was Madara Uchiha.  Used to be a film director and an avid collector of exotic pets," Kiba wrinkled his nose, "He had a beach house here.  It belongs to his remaining family now, and I tell you, there was nothing like having to drag this fellow out of there.  Tore up all the nice carpet.  I hope all of the fogey's relatives never need the place again."

Sasuke nodded, "Let me guess, you couldn't find any of his relatives?"

"How'd you know?" Kiba said, the sound of his pen filling out the adoption forms the only other audible sound but all of their breathing.

"Naruto wouldn't be adopting him otherwise," Sasuke pet the fox's docile head, his fingers lingering in the fur and his voice quiet, "He wouldn't be in a shelter if you'd found his relatives."

Naruto felt something shift in his gut at the words.  Why did this feel weird to him?  He felt like he was missing a puzzle piece, and without it, he couldn't understand the big picture.  Sasuke and Kiba didn't seem to think anything was out of the ordinary though, so he didn't say anything.  He actually couldn't even if he'd wanted to, his mouth glued shut with the fear of saying something and then having them turn to him and think he was crazy.  

Sasuke took the papers from Kiba, and with his other hand, just simply picked up the orange menace and nodded, "Let's get going then."

Kiba and Naruto both just stared at him, "Did you just stare that fox into submission?"

Sasuke stared back at them, "Can we just get this thing home now?"

"Holy shit, he's the fox whisperer!" Kiba muttered behind his back.  The blond nodded in agreement.

"Was one of those weird classes you took animal handling?" Naruto wondered aloud.

* * *

Naruto had lied, nothing was fine about this situation.

"What I'm wearing is fine, dumbass," Sasuke pulled on a pair of gloves, a knuckle protector of sorts, and glanced up with his sinfully attractive eyes.

Naruto crossed his arms, "Won't you get hot like that?"

"No," his muse smirked slightly, "It's sportswear.  Unlike whatever it is you've got on, stalker."

And he'd so been looking forward to seeing his boyfriend's naked elbows.

Instead Sasuke had apparently seen through his plan and put on a thin, well-fitting but loose shirt under a big sleeve-less t-shirt, and baggy karate pants.

He looked good, really good, but the whole plan of seeing Sasuke in less clothes than normal was completely ruined.  Naruto had to admit, he was only slightly upset about his loss because he thought Sasuke was hot as a supernova no matter what he wore; the bit of him still bemoaning this turn of events was mostly just bemoaning how stupid he felt for getting worked up over nothing.

"Why do you have'ta wear so many damn clothes?" Naruto grumbled under his breath, hiding the smile creeping on his face with fake irritation.

"I'm a fashion major," Sasuke deadpanned.

Naruto jumped, "You weren't supposed to hear that!"

"I already know you have a boner for me," Sasuke shrugged, "You being a pervert doesn't exactly surprise me.  After all I've heard a thing or two from Suigetsu about how you used to stare at that picture of me in public."

Naruto thought he'd pass out from shock and anger, "I'm afraid you need a new roommate, Sasuke."

His boyfriend snorted in amusement, but then his face warped into something somehow gentle, which was too odd for words to see on Sasuke's usually stoic face.  "I don't mind it that you kept the photo.  Just don't share it."

"You, ah--" Naruto grabbed his muse's wrist, pulling him closer, "Do you really mean that?"

Sasuke shrugged, "I think I can trust you with that much, and I... want at least one good photo of myself."

"Do you really, uh, sue people for photographs?" Naruto pondered, wondering how close to the chopping block he'd gotten for The Photo.

"Itachi has, but the more it doesn't happen in the first place, the better," Sasuke pulled his wrist away, "Now can we stop chitchatting so I can beat you to a pulp?"

"As if," the blonde griped, his lips losing their somewhat smile to a determined line.

The two of them pushed and shoved at each other until they were on the mats and it didn't fucking stop there.

Without a breath, Sasuke had shoved him away and took a stable, widespread stance.

Naruto wiped his mouth with his wrist and quipped, "Not even going to give me rules?"

"Your safe word is ramen," The raven haired man teased, before launching a truly horrifying series of kicks that Naruto could barely dodge.

Throwing a good punch or three on his own, Naruto wasn't too surprised when he barely clipped Sasuke's shoulder and had to duck under his boyfriend's own kick.

Like a beginner, Sasuke was relying too much on kicks that wouldn't always connect, and, spying his opportunity, Naruto grabbed hold of his muse's foot and used Sasuke's own weight to flip him to the ground.

The loud smack of skin against mat did nothing to deter Sasuke.  A flip and he was back on his feet, and his eyes were burning.

Naruto grinned, and beckoned him closer with his hand, "Naruto, 1.  Prissy pants, 0."

The kick he received to the chest for that was totally worth it.

They continued to spar for the better part of an hour, until the demanding, nonstop motion had exhausted them to sweating, heaving, and precariously wobbly jelly legs.

"You're way better than a beginner, Sasuke," Naruto told his boyfriend, a note of both jealousy and pride in his voice.

"Says the man who hasn't practiced in forever and almost killed me out there," Sasuke grabbed his water bottle and chugged it.  The drop of water that escaped his lips to trickle down his chin caught Naruto and his eyes traced its path across soft, porcelain skin without thinking.

Sasuke wiped it away and gave him a curious look.  Naruto coughed and turned to stare down his locker, "It's not my fault, we both got way into that.  When people ask me if my boyfriend gave me these bruises, they wouldn't understand how fucking true that is.  And these are not good boyfriend bruises."

"Was that kick to the sternum too much?"

"I don't know, how's your cheek doing?"

They glared at each other until Naruto couldn’t keep a straight face and started laughing, pulling his boyfriend closer to put a band-aid to the dark haired man's swollen cheek.  Sasuke endured the treatment without comment, rolling his eyes at it.  Whatever, Naruto liked giving out affection, so his boyfriend was just going to be considerate.

Even though Naruto had originally been against this sort of thing as a date, he really enjoyed the singing feeling in his muscles and the thudding of his heart against his chest.  The horniness wasn't the greatest but he'd deal.  It went to show that anything was good with the right people.  And Sasuke, the gorgeous brilliant bastard, he was one of Naruto's right people.  He made Naruto feel more, stronger.

"What are you doing after this?" The blonde asked, almost a leading question.

"Probably sleeping for a year," Sasuke yawned, not even bothering to hide it.  His dark hair caught on his sticky cheeks and clung there even as a pale hand went to brush it off.

Naruto's dick twitched in his pants, reminding him of his problem regarding Sasuke in general.  He ignored it.

"I have a portfolio to work on."

His muse leaned back against the lockers with a clanging sound, his legs crossing at the ankles. "I don't really care."

"You should.  It might mean I get a better job and can actually see you in the evenings," Naruto pointed out.

"So?"

"So… I'm off to work hard and hopefully get myself a new job," Naruto grinned, almost with a twinge of menacing plotting behind it, and slammed his hands on both sides of Sasuke's head, effectively pinning him between the lockers and the blonde's body.  Pressing their foreheads together, Naruto demanded, "Eskimo kiss for good luck?"

"I'm not giving you good luck when I want to hit you," the raven rolled his eyes.

"Kiss."

"No."

"Just one?  It's a date after all," Naruto grinned wider, liking how close he had gotten to his pissed off boyfriend.  He liked annoying him like this.  It was just fun and it helped him from falling into a cycle of staring and getting too hard to think.  Although their current position wasn't good either.

"Eskimo kiss me," he repeated, petulantly.

Sasuke bit him instead.

"Ow!  Fuck, ow!" Naruto reeled back, almost stunned.  Honestly, with Sasuke he should’ve expected it.  Glowering, he growled darkly, "Don't fucking do that again."

Gloved hands cupped his smarting cheeks and before he could properly comprehend it, Naruto was getting kissed within an inch of his life.  And not eskimo kissed.  His mouth was molded together with Sasuke's, his tongue pressed up against his boyfriend's.

His arms snaked down to cup Sasuke's ass, hoisting him up so that Naruto could carry his frustrating boyfriend and press him closer against the lockers.  Instead of fighting it, Sasuke wrapped his legs around Naruto's waist and clung to him.

Separating for a breath, Naruto gasped, "I thought I'd pissed you off."

"You did," Sasuke growled, his arms wrapping around Naruto's neck, "Asshole, fuck, stop getting me riled up."

"Like you can even talk," Naruto said before kissing him again, deeply.  Sasuke's crotch was pressed up against Naruto's waist and yeah, riled up was something Naruto knew he was far more of than his muse.  Sasuke was just getting hard, for one, while Naruto was sure at least a liter of his blood had relocated to his cock at this point.

It was far far too soon to even be kissing like this, but he hadn't initiated it--Sasuke had.  They wouldn't get much further than kissing though, it was too public and too soon for even Naruto, who had done some crazy stunts in his past.

Sasuke shoved at him roughly, eyes wide with something more like apprehension than fear, more bewildered than afraid, but the blond got the message.  Stop.  So he did, although for a moment they just stared at each other, awkwardly entwined, with Naruto supporting his boyfriend’s body weight against the lockers.

"Put me down," Sasuke commanded, unwrapping his legs from Naruto's waist.

Naruto dropped him to his feet and took a step back.

Yeah, that had gone far too fast.

"Sasuke, I--" He started.

"Don't bother.  It's fine.  Just, not yet," Sasuke pulled his gloves off, stared at his palms for a second, and then continued, "Although you might want to do something about that."

"Fucking sex drive, fucking boner," Naruto mumbled, going for one of the shower stalls in the Men's bathroom.

He could hear Sasuke snickering at him for it, too.

* * *

Naruto gulped, holding his hands behind his back and his collar scuffing against his freshly shaved cheek.

Danzou didn't cease to freak him out even now that his portfolio was laid out on the table.

"I see what Tsunade saw in your photography more clearly in these photos," the man began, and Naruto almost felt like he was going to vomit from nerves, "You're very talented at capturing light, realism.  The type of uncomfortable ugliness of life is played up so that it grinds against the senses, inspires the viewer to look harder and think more.  Yet also you can smooth over hard edges and gloss the most beautiful things into a surreal, breath taking image."

Praise, yay!  So why did Naruto hear a 'but...' showing up soon?

"What I'm saying is that you have a good style, but I don't see what I'm looking for in my photographers.  Do you understand me?"  Danzou threaded his fingers together and leaned forward over his desk.

"Um, is there a certain style you didn't see--" Naruto started, but the editor cut him off.

"Ruthlessness.  Show me photos taken on the edge.  Photos with sex appeal.  Photos that will sell," Danzou opened the folder to the snapshot of Deidara where Naruto had played up his body, and tapped his finger on it, "this is closer to what I had in mind but I need to see this without any nudity."

"I get it," Naruto expelled a sigh, "I'll make a new portfolio for you, if you'll allow me the chance."

Danzou swirled his finger on the glossy paper, "I'd like to see more of your work.  Show me ruthlessness, show me hard liquor and drunk sex, show me cold hard cash."

Naruto nodded, his mind racing but a weird feeling in his chest.  He fumbled with the handle of his coffee mug, his stomach flip-flopping around.  The hot ceramic almost burned his fingers, and soon he had to set the cup down on Danzou's desk.

"Get me that new portfolio soon.  Let's say, before the end of August," Danzou leaned back and put his feet up, casual but still somehow imposing.

"Of-- Sure, I'll get it to you ASAP," Naruto smiled, painfully even.  It was so hard to feel even vaguely comfortable in this man's presence and it was so frustrating to constantly feel like he had to prove to him that he was not subpar.

He wanted sexy?  Ruthless?  Something that would sell?  Naruto could get him all that and more.  Or so he hoped.

* * *

Naruto was going to call up Sakura.  It'd been a while (three days) and he hoped that she'd be willing to have a nice long chat.  And agree to be his model for a bit.  Okay, he'd admit to it, he was sort of only calling her because he wanted something.

He needed to nip that habit in the bud.  They were best friends, for heaven's sake, why was he avoiding her?

Well maybe because she still sort of scared him, which sucked more than anything.  Sakura was his best girl, his sister, and he'd kill for her.  It wasn't like he'd forgotten that side of himself.  If anyone tried to mess with his friends, he'd have no qualms about sending them to the hospital.

Although if Sasuke got any shit, Naruto had the feeling he'd be the one holding his boyfriend back from murder.  There was no hesitation when it came to Sasuke's ire; to anger the raven haired man was to sign your own death sentence.

Distracting thoughts aside, Naruto got his guts together and called Sakura, hoping all the while that she didn't chew him out for only calling her when he wanted a favor.  But when the receiver clicked to life, he didn't actually hear Sakura.  He heard what sounded like a wild baboon rampaging in the Louvre.

"You fucking pig, give me my phone—" Sakura's faint voice could be heard between the smashing of objects.

"Nah!  It's probably your looooover booooooy calling!"

Naruto stared at his phone receiver briefly before returning it to his ear.  What was he listening to?

"Hand that back, you insolent sack of shit!"

Another smash.  He winced.  A lot of things were getting broken on Sakura's side of things.

"NooooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOoooo... Heeeelloooo, lover boy!  Sakura isn't home right now, can I take your message and screw you senseless instead?"

Naruto knew that voice...

"Ino?" He asked cautiously, "Is that you, Ino?"

"Naruto?!  You know Pinkie?" She exclaimed, her valley girl accent dropping in surprise.

"Um, Sakura and I, well, we're best friends.  We went to college together in Sacramento," the blonde scratched his cheek nervously, his confusion doing nothing to abate his caution.  Should he hang up and call another time?  No, he'd insult Ino and she was a fiery mess when she wanted to be.  But if he kept talking to Ino, Sakura might interpret it wrong like how she seemed to interpret everything these days.

He opted to stay on the line.  It wasn't his fault Ino had taken Sakura's phone.

"Wow, small world!" Ino cheered before something muffled was heard in the background, "--bitch, Naruto's my buddy too!  I was fucking his roommate on and off before Kiba dropped me like a wet sock!"

"That's because he found a girlfriend," Naruto muttered, feeling sort of guilty, "You guys weren't even together when he did either, so..."

Ino gasped, "What?  Oh em gee, tell me all the deets--"

The sounds of punching and brutal slap warfare were heard, before Sakura said, loud and clear, "Naruto, you called for a reason?"

"I was wondering if I could acquire a gorgeous model for this weekend.  And you know, talk to my best friend?" He grinned.

"I'm a bit round at the moment..." She said, but it lacked conviction or spirit, so he launched into deconstructing her bogus argument anyway.

"Nonsense, you're barely showing.  Anyway I can just shoot busts or whatever if you're uncomfortable with showing off the baby bump you don't have yet."

"You sure know how to compliment a girl..." Sakura laughed, and he couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or not.  He was gonna opt to sarcastic.

He scratched the back of his head and said, "Well you know me, I try."

"I do indeed.  Hey, Ino?  Want to model for Naruto with me?  I mean, your piggish face is something I'd never wish on anyone--"

"HEY!" Ino screeched, and it was a magnificent screech that had Naruto holding the receiver away from his ears to save his poor eardrums from bursting.

Sakura snickered, "--but you can be my body double.  Your tits are huge so--!  Agh!  Ino, easy on the pregnant woman, god, are you evil?"

"I'll punch your face so hard no one can see your billboard brow!"

There actually was a punching noise after that declaration and a pained "fuck" from Sakura so Naruto went from cautious to extremely worried for his friends.  He'd never ~~seen~~ heard Sakura so violent before, and she thought his face made a good punching bag.  What happened to responsible Sakura?  Or was the reason they were fighting so much that she was being so "responsible"?

Either way, they needed to stop with the punching.

"Girls...?" Naruto mumbled cautiously, "Be gentle with me."

Sakura snorted, "Naruto, she'll agree to it.  Wait, did you ask what's-her-face?  Karin?"

"I've already done a lot of shots of her, so no," Naruto didn't mention that he didn't feel comfortable photographing her in a sexual way, since she reminded him too much of how he imagined his mother to be like, and not just because they looked similar.

"That's a shame, I want to meet her," Sakura sighed.

It made him happy to hear, but it also sounded odd.  For some reason, he thought Sakura and Karin wouldn't get along...  Naruto just shrugged and said, "Maybe soon?  You should meet Sasuke and Karin soon."

"I can live with that.  When do you want us ladies?"

"You get weekends off, yeah?  How about you donate yourselves to me on Saturday evening?"

"But I go clubbing on Saturdays," Ino whined.

"Perfect," Naruto grinned, "We'll go clubbing then."

"What _type_ of photos are you _taking_?"

Naruto sighed, "Gritty ones?  I'm gonna have to pull out ruthless."

"Naruto, you're good at capturing sexy.  You could just photograph the club itself, why do you need models?" Sakura inquired.

"Because I can't go alone, I'll melt into a poison dart frog and hop off into the sunset," Naruto shrugged, before remembering for the millionth time that body language didn't transfer over phone calls, "I wanted to see you too, so it's two birds with one stone."

"God, of course you get me with the emotional 'I miss you, we should hang out.'  We'll model for you then, but don't expect anything wild from me," Sakura sounded fairly happy with him, her tone sweet and light against his ear, and he grinned at the thought of her smile.

"Thank you."


	13. Moiré

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I don't know if this chapter is as long as usual but it had to stop here. More tags have been added, please heed them! There are mentions of suicide and drugs in this chapter! Please heed the warning.

Sometimes it was really fun to spend time with Sasuke on the weekends.  Sometimes casual was nice, awesome actually.  Casual, chilling out with Sasuke in his dorms, eating cup ramen and watching his boyfriend transform from a morning grinch into a less irritable afternoon bastard.

When Suigetsu had mentioned Sasuke being a bad morning person, Naruto had assumed it was more akin to him not being good at getting up and ready to go on time, because he was already a dick, he couldn't be more of a dick in the mornings, right?  Oh, no, he had been so wrong.

Sasuke had already chugged enough coffee to put a horse in a coma and now he was eating cup ramen and dozing off like a zombie this lovely Saturday afternoon.

"How late were you up?" Naruto wondered aloud.

"5 am..." Sasuke groaned, his lovely head slumping onto his arm, "Supposed to have been a study party, turned into a mess."

Naruto cocked his head, "Go on.”

"Juugo had a paper due at noon today and he hadn't even started and originally we were gonna work on that, then help Karin with her online intro to nursing and first aid exam.  But then Suigetsu mentions he's got an online final for his zoo-archaeology class due midnight plus two extra credit essays on pterygiophores and whale anatomy and suddenly I'm doing everything," Sasuke ranted, his eyes drifting open and closed as he swirled his chopsticks in his cup ramen, "I drank two monsters to stay up.  Monsters don't even taste good, they taste like late night essay writing extravaganzas and shame."

"I know what you mean... but it was a different kind of shame," Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

"Hm," Sasuke acknowledged.

"Sakura's 21st birthday party, she was doing vodka and monster shots for this drinking game and uh, it was really nasty."

Sasuke snorted, "What game?"

"It was a truth or dare sort of thing, but weird.  If you got a dare and you couldn't or didn't want to do it, you drank.  And if you got truth, well, you get the picture.  If you didn't want to say, you drank.  If you lied and they found out that you lied then you drank.  If you told the truth and they falsely accused you, then they drank. Most of the time it was hard to get proof of the shit you were saying though, so you just drank.  A lot."

Sasuke almost looked sympathetic, if looking very amused could pass as sympathetic, "And you fucking chugged the shit because you lost hardcore at that game, didn't you?"

"Shut up, I wasn't that bad at it.  I got a bunch of bad truth questions, and I lied or drank to get out of it, and when I got called out on my bullshit, I drank some, yeah," Naruto frowned, remembering it vividly.  He wasn't going to confess in front of Sakura's friends all the bad shit he did before he met Iruka and Sakura; he had been having social anxiety issues majorly all evening without admitting his skeletons in the closet.  So he'd lied when he thought he could drink no more, and Sakura, the wonderful friend she was, made him drink each time he did.  Granted, the lies got kind of bizarre and obvious so he sort of deserved it.  Even Naruto never got kicked out of school for fornicating with a tree during recess.

"I regret drinking it," Sasuke slurped up the rest of his noodles, "And I regret allowing you to come over."

"If I'd known, I'd've let you sleep in more," Naruto leaned against Sasuke's warm weight, their hair mingling together for a moment, before pulling back and beginning to eat his noodles again.

"You wouldn't have.  You'd be sitting here with me, eating my ramen in my kitchen as if I couldn't pass out any moment," Sasuke abruptly sat up, "Although maybe that coffee is starting to do the trick."

"You do look a bit less like a zombie than you did two minutes ago," The blonde snickered.

"I'll slice your head off," Sasuke snarled, "I did not."

"Pale skin?  Check.  Incoherence?  Check.  Drooling?  Che--" Naruto yelped as Sasuke punched him hard in the stomach.

"I did not," Sasuke hissed, but his expression morphed from anger to something far more strange, "However I'm not against killing you brutally as you scream and attempt to run from me."

Naruto scooted his chair a little further away from his boyfriend's.

Sasuke let the subject drop as he stared out the window, and Naruto resumed consuming his delicious ramen.

"You know," Sasuke started, which ruined Naruto's perfectly content ramen slurping.

"...I know what?" Naruto choked.  He hoped it wasn't another creepy declaration of murderous intentions.

"The fall semester starts in a week.  August 23rd, to be precise," Sasuke took a dainty sip of his noodles.

"Well, I sort of knew," Naruto gulped, waiting for this to go somewhere.

"Three whole months of stalking," His boyfriend drawled, "And you haven't even gotten laid yet."

Three whole dry years before that too, Naruto didn't add.

Sasuke shrugged, "Most guys would get frustrated by now, wouldn't they?"

"Sure, but I'm patient," Naruto let a slow grin creep onto his features.

He'd wait forever and ever for Sasuke if he had to, because the physical stuff was great but it wasn't what he really wanted from his relationship with Sasuke.  He wanted a connection, and it terrified him and warmed all his limbs to consider it.

"That thing, in the locker rooms... I might be willing to try that again," He left the words hanging in the air like a tantalizing invitation, "But nothing more than kissing."

"Did you just proposition me?  You, the giant prude--"

"You're dumb, I take it back," Sasuke casually swiped Naruto's ramen cup from under his nose, drank all the broth like the freak the raven-haired man was, and just slid it back to Naruto like nothing had happened.  It was just weird.  Naruto couldn't react because he was too busy gaping.

"You totally offered to make out with me," Naruto mumbled, "You totally just did."

"I won't want to make out with you much more if you keep acting like that," He scooted his chair back, getting ready to stand. 

Naruto snatched his wrist, looking up into his eyes, "Don't tempt me like that.  I'll take you up on it."

"I was serious," Sasuke paused, his eyes flicking down to the table, "I'd say you're a good kisser, but I don't have anyone to compare you to."

Ah, secret Sasuke talk for "kissing is enjoyable, let's do it some more."

Naruto snaked his hand up Sasuke's jacket sleeve, slightly frustrated that he was stuck separated from his boyfriend's skin by suddenly far too many layers.  The blonde grinned, "You said you wouldn't mind kissing?"

Sasuke looked like he was considering backing away, but he leaned closer instead, bringing himself to sit on the blonde's thighs, his hands resting awkwardly on Naruto's broader shoulders.

They met somewhere in the middle, gentle and sweet as their first kiss.  Sasuke's lips tasted like the broth he'd stolen earlier, like salt and something masquerading as miso, and Naruto brought up a hand to stroke the line of Sasuke's cheek bone.  He mouthed his boyfriend's name into his skin, moving south from the corner of his lips to the tender stretch underneath the dark haired man's jawline.

Here he could inhale Sasuke's scent, a spice of something burnt and of cheap bar soap, and mouth at his boyfriend's neck, taking his teeth and nibbling on peach skin.  Sasuke mumbled something encouraging, but his hands slipped from Naruto's shoulders to his chest, resting there in an unspoken threat that meant he'd shove Naruto away at first provocation.

"You okay?" Naruto pulled back, ignoring the reddening mark he'd left on his boyfriend's skin.

"I'm fine," Sasuke smirked down at him, "but come back up here."

Dear god, he was gorgeous looking like that, sitting on Naruto's lap and his face the perfect embodiment of the cat who'd eaten the fish in the fish bowl; an ungodly, attractive arrogance.  It made Naruto want to kiss it off, but kissing had put it there in the first place.  He opted to do more kissing, because he had ceased giving a fuck.

Naruto kissed him until neither of them could think, until Sasuke's mouth stopped tasting like coffee and started tasting like his own and Naruto's tongue knew exactly where to make Sasuke's breath hitch; until his hands had slipped into his muse's shirt and stroked up his sides, fingers dancing across soft skin and smooth muscle.  One of Naruto's hands was tangled in Sasuke's choppy hair and he pulled until his boyfriend's head tipped back, until he could lick a stripe on Sasuke's neck and bite, not too hard but enough for him to satisfy his desire to mark Sasuke as his.

Naruto's enthusiastic actions got him nothing but Sasuke's positive cues, like how his mouth gasped out little pleasured noises and how his fingers tightened against Naruto's shirt, and how his eyes fluttered open and closed.

Naruto could come in his pants right now just looking at Sasuke, but he wasn't justlooking, he was touching and exploring and Naruto wanted to ravish him.

It was hard to hold back, but Naruto stopped himself anyway, because he would not ruin this, not for the entire world.

"Good?" He asked.

"Not bad," Sasuke said, breathless, "Why are you good at this?"

Naruto let a smug grin creep on to his face but curbed it as he realized Sasuke actually wanted an answer.  Shaking his head, he admitted, "I had a girlfriend once.  Thought we'd get married and do the whole white picket fence, 2.5 kids thing.  Turned out differently in the end obviously, since I'm here and she's signing divorce papers with her soon-to-be ex-husband in China.  But she liked physical affection and I picked up tricks along the way."

Hinata had loved to be touched; she made the best noises when he touched her just right, smiled so greatly when he held her tiny cold hands, and in bed they wrapped around each other like two octopi because she wasn't satisfied until he'd traced her entire body with his hands and she'd done the same to him.  Naruto had learned how to do a lot of things to satisfy her.

He felt absolutely no guilt using the rewards of his efforts on Sasuke.

"So you're not gay," Sasuke didn't sound too surprised, "I'll be honest, I thought you were straight until you started hitting on me."

"You'd make the straightest of straight men question himself.  You turned Kiba questioning for a day, and he shudders at the idea of any dick but his own," Naruto stroked his boyfriend's perfect jawline, reveling in soft, clean shaven skin, "but no, I was bisexual before you got to me."

"I don't know if I'm any kind of sexual..." Sasuke looked down, to where his hands rested on Naruto's chest, and his right hand curled in over where Naruto's heart rested beneath his ribcage, "I've never wanted someone before you and sometimes I can't wrap my head around wanting you either.  I don't get it, it's like a bunch of neglected emotional shit got woken up when I met you."

"Like what?"

"Like my dick," Sasuke deadpanned.

"That's not emotional," Naruto snorted, "Also you're totally lying, your dick doesn't even know what an erection is.  I'm the one who gets all the awkward boners."

Sasuke snorted, his weight leaning heavy into Naruto's frame, but he lost his amusement to a calm, business-like mask, "I don't feel like talking about it beyond that."

Naruto made a frustrated noise, but Sasuke leaned in and pressed their noses together, let their breath mingle, and he forgot why he was upset in the first place because his muse was so close.

It still felt desperately intimate, their foreheads touching, inhaling each other's air, like they could understand each other with this alone.

"It's fine, we can go at your pace," Naruto decided, smiling despite his desire to know, to understand, to have the answers already and not wait for Sasuke to figure himself out.

"You should demand things from me. Everyone else does," Sasuke scowled, pulling away, "You don't have the patience of a saint.  You can barely wait the three minutes you're supposed to before eating your cup ramen."

Naruto didn't feel it would prove helpful to his cause if he mentioned that sometimes he doesn't, that he eats it early even if the noodles are still crunchy, because he's hungry and impatient.

"Hey, here I thought I wouldn't get to make out with you for the next ten years.  It's nice to think I might get to home base before I'm 60.  Not that I have anything against wrinkly old man sex."

"You disgust me."

"Says the one who was all breathless, telling me how good I am at--!" Naruto ducked the flying chopstick, hurdling at him like a missile.

"Shut the fuck up," Sasuke held the other chopstick, face red and furious.

"Ah, come on!  You said it!  I reawoke feelings you'd forgotten in your dick!"

"You are mincemeat."

"Are you Sweeney Todd?"

"Yes.  And you're my dead wife."

"I see where this is going," Naruto gulped, "Wait, he didn't kill his wife!  He killed the guy who killed her."

"Doesn't change the fact that she's dead," Sasuke shrugged, "I barely watched that play.  It was painful enough to see my hard work coated in fake blood that didn't fully wash out after a show, but I'm also very positive that the lead actress sang as well as you, meaning she didn't know the difference between screeching and singing."

Insult aside, Naruto was intrigued, "You designed costumes for Sweeney Todd?"

"I designed at least one costume for pretty much every play since my sophomore year," Sasuke noticed the look, and it was almost as if someone had struck a match in his eyes.  "You want to see?"

"Hell yeah!  I think you've seen more of my photography than I have of your designs, and those gowns were the best dresses I've ever seen, the best things since sliced bread--"

Sasuke yanked him forward by his shirt and kissed him softly, sensually, but not for long enough that Naruto could really respond, for only a span of three heartbeats.  Too short.

"Thanks," he smirked against Naruto's mouth, before leaving him to presumably go get a book of his art or something.  A portfolio.

He came back with a laptop which Naruto supposed was really the same sort of idea.

Even if he thought some of Sasuke's fashion designs were impossible, weird, or pretentious, it was hard not to be in awe of so much gorgeous art.  Naruto spent the next hour amazed out of his mind.  And maybe the hour after that still amazed, because a sleepy Sasuke apparently wasn't opposed to being cuddly, when he wasn't threatening (and preparing to actually carry out those threats) swift painful death.

* * *

Nightclubs were gritty, they smelled like sweat and like dreams discarded for the haze of alcohol and sex.  The floor was slick with grease and not a girl in the room had forgone heels.  Naruto was lost in a wave of grinding bodies and bottle blondes at the bar ordering hard liquor and cheap beer.

He was starting to panic, starting to lose control of his breathing because there were so many people and even though he'd dressed up for the occasion, he looked awful and everyone's eyes caught on the guy in the orange button down with the clunky camera around his neck.  Everyone was looking and judging and he was going to die if he couldn't leave soon.  He was going to leave, right now, he had to leave, how had he even talked himself out of leaving the house?  He should've stayed home, portfolio and job be damned.  No, Naruto had to stay.  What if Ino and Sakura showed up and he'd ditched them?  He'd lose his best friend and then Kiba'd hate him for being a jerk to his ex and Naruto had to stay but he had to leave, right now—He needed someone, someone to ground him back to reality because Naruto knew these people weren't looking at him, knew he was invisible in the crowd, knew that no one here cared about him enough to judge.

Eventually, he stumbled over to the bar and pulled out his phone.  The Photo stared back at him and it was odd, Naruto could see the changes from when he'd taken the photo and Sasuke now.  Sasuke's hair was longer and he looked more tired, his skin more pallid, but he still had so much life in him, the life that The Photo had captured and he was even more gorgeous in person.

Lost in his contemplation, he completely missed Sakura and Ino crowding up around him.

"Earth to space cadet," Ino waved her hand in front of his face.

Naruto blinked twice, "Ino... Sakura, when did you two get here?"

"Less than a minute ago, don't worry," Sakura placed a hand on his shoulder and turned him to face them more clearly.

They had gotten glitzed and glamorized beforehand, and nothing said cheap college student like dollar shimmer lotion and bright red lipstick.

Sakura was wearing flower print high waisted shorts, a loose graphic tank top with an owl in the center, a set of chunky bangles on her left wrist, and a pair of heels.  Ino was in similar club appropriate fashion; clad in golden, shimmery pants, a loose black top with an open back, and high heeled shoes that probably cost more than Naruto's yearly ramen allowance (A truly large sum of $150).

Naruto felt very literally like the grungy troll under the bridge.  Maybe he should've borrowed Kiba's pleather pants.

He took one look at Sakura's figure next to Ino's and said, "Huh."

Sakura gave him the dirtiest look he'd ever seen.

"You do have a bit of a baby bump," Naruto realized, "Did you have that the last time I saw you?"

"Idiot, I've been pregnant for about three months!  What were you expecting? For my tummy to be as flat as it was when you ate Jell-O shots off it in May?"

"Not really but," Naruto shrugged, "I don't pay attention to details when they don't matter."

"He means, you're still gorgeous," Ino smacked her on the shoulder, and for a moment they looked like the type of best friends they made movies about, girlish and in love and inseparable.  They looked like they rode horses and made friendship bracelets together and Naruto wanted so desperately to take a photo of it but the moment had passed before he'd managed to raise his camera to his face and again they returned to looking like harpies.

Sakura slapped Ino's unfairly nice behind and again they were at each other's throats.

"I wish I had a camera attached to my eye balls," Naruto mourned, "There's so much beauty in life that I can't capture on film and the small portion I can capture just isn't enough."

Sakura turned to him, her hand still shoving Ino out of her face, and said, smiling, "That's like me and weddings, you know.  It's one of the happiest moments of someone life and that needs to be captured, perfectly, so they can always look back and remember it."

"You two!" Ino snorted, "Photography majors, pfft.  Us psychology majors aren't into all that weird beauty of life stuff.  I'm interested in the negativity in this world, and how evil works.  If you can get inside the criminal mind, or learn how mental illnesses work, you can heal the world.  None of this passive, capture beauty as it is stuff.  The meaning of life is to reduce suffering."

"Without art, all we'd do is eat, sleep, fight, and fuck," Naruto crossed his arms, arguing with Ino purely because she insulted his major.  In all honesty, he thought psych majors were cool, and they went on to help people as counsellors and psychologists and whatnot. 

"Not everyone is good at the same things, and we can have artists and psych majors and athletes and all and still have people left to spare, sheesh," Sakura chimed in, "We need both."

"Oh, neither of you understand when I'm teasing!" Ino slapped Naruto hard on the shoulders.

"I've got to back up my bff, over here," Sakura slung her arm over the same, now slightly smarting, shoulders and Naruto had had enough, he was going to start taking photos or he was going to lose his mind.  He didn't know why he was so on edge tonight but for some reason, he just wanted to work and leave.

"So, I'm going position you two by the bar at first, sound acceptable?" He said, thinking about it, "I want Ino sitting with her heels up, because I'm kind of in love with her heels, and Sakura's side facing me but tilted so I can get your face in.  Or um, lean a bit, and I can work angles with the stool."

They nodded, and even if Ino took a bit more positioning than Sakura, Naruto figured if he survived this photo shoot, at least it would turn out good.  And if it didn't, he could just shoot the club and disregard model shots all together.  He was better without models anyway, but to really get the look he wanted, he needed to get up close and personal, and there was no way he'd manage that with a stranger tonight.

Sakura paused after getting turned this way or that to mention, "You should get a photo or some of Hinata, with Kiba you know?"

"Huh?" Naruto peered up from where he was inching her foot just an smidge to the left.  After all, it would be a nice diagonal... Right, Hinata.  Kiba... "Wait, for the sexy thing?  I don't think dog boy has carnal in him; it'd be a different type of filthy.  Like, scruffy unwashed college boy filthy."

Ino scoffed, "I slept with him, you know?  And dog boy knows how to bone."

Sakura gave her a patented "stop" look, one eyebrow lifted and her mouth twisted like she'd just knocked back a shot of lemon juice.

"I'm just saying he can be hot when he tries!" Ino shrugged, "And Sakura's shown me a pic of this Hinata chick.  She's got melons the size of, well, melons."

Naruto had to admit it was the truth; Hinata hadn't been small breasted before her surgery and after, well... Anyway, it wasn't a terrible idea except that it had one major flaw.

"How am I going to take a photo of a woman who is, at this very moment, residing in China?" He pointed out, snapping one last shot with his models positioned just so, before deciding, "What the hell, you two just have fun with each other and I'll do the rest.  I'm bored of being fiddly."

This of course was cue for Ino to stiffen up and Sakura to slap her back into human shape.  Anytime he stopped giving directions, his models tended to acquire rigor mortis, while alive.  They could relax while he twisted them into pretzels but God forbid he ask them to get comfortable by themselves.

Sakura had suffered enough photo shoots to be able to sling an easy arm around Ino's shoulder and say, as if he hadn't tried to leave the topic in the dust, "But what if she wasn't in China?  She did tell you she was moving back here, didn't she?"

"You're kidding."  Naruto's jaw went slack.

"Nope.  She's done with China, and anyway she's not on a marriage visa anymore.  She was going to move back here and Hinata even told me that if things went well, maybe Kiba and she would get a place," Sakura waggled her eyebrows, "So you might need to make another roommate needed flyer."

"When'd she tell you this?" He couldn't believe he'd been left out of the loop.  Again.

"I might've been angry about something at the time," Sakura shook her head.

"Oh, is this the thing you ranted about?" Ino questioned.

"Urgh, we're done with this," Naruto shook his head, "Dead.  Buried 6 feet under.  Not revisiting.  No flowers allowed, no funeral.  Not even the zombie apocalypse should unearth this from the depths of Tartarus where it resides, along with that one time Sakura accidentally electrocuted herself with a vibrating toothbrush."

"We were never to speak of that again," Sakura hissed, blushing and readying her fist for a gut punch.

"Technically I didn't!" Naruto yelped, jumping backwards, "Ino, blondes unite!  Save me!"

"You got yourself into this one."

"You two are never allowed to model for me again," He bemoaned.

Sakura snickered, "You owe me something for almost letting that slip. Why don't you introduce me to Sasuke?"

"Because you'll be all overprotective friend on him and he's gonna realize I'm not worth the constant threat and dump me," Naruto griped, and the fact that he was only half joking actually made him pretty nervous.

"That's not right," Ino interjected, "It sounds like your relationship is all messed up."

"It's totally not," Naruto shot her the stink-eye, crossing his arms.

"No, I agree.  If he'll dump you over a couple of strongly worded threats to his life, you might need to find a new person to date," Sakura gave him one of those looks that could chill someone's soul frozen solid, "You can't take pictures of him, you can't introduce him to your friends, you almost never do anything affectionate with each other, and you already suffered through meeting his family!  He should meet yours."

Naruto shook his head, "I'll bring it up soon, ask him if he wants to meet you guys.  He's not very outgoing so we just... never talked about it?"

Sakura gave a long, heavy, drawn out sigh, "Good enough for government work, I guess.  Now are you gonna get back to taking those shots?"

"Yeah, shit, sorry!"  Naruto steadied his camera and took a deep breath.  There was no trouble in paradise, nope, of course there wasn't.

* * *

The portfolio was delivered, for the second time.  He'd really tried to play up the sex appeal for this one, and the grit of the collegiate seedy underbelly, the parties and the drugs, the alcohol and the days old mascara.  And for something softer, he'd gotten the fan-service shots he needed of Ino and Sakura.

End result?

He got hired.

That didn't mean the trouble was done, though.  It meant the exact opposite.  Naruto's hours were on-call and his wage was entry level nothing, so basically, he had to work both his jobs to support himself.  Charming.

Another note of excellence.  Sasuke was done with finals week, and summer was officially over.  So, no more surprise campus visits.  No more afternoons of laziness.  Similarly early evenings.

Why had he done this to himself again?

Naruto let out this desperation in a truly terrible whining moan over the phone to Sakura, "It's terrible!  I'm doing that on call bullshit where I have to be available all afternoon, but only actually come in once or twice a month, get paid nearly nothing for a photo set I couldn't care less about, and then leave!"

"Don't complain about an opportunity just because you have less time to spend with your boyfriend," Sakura sighed, "I'm a waitress and you have a job with US Weekly.  Tell me who has it worse?"

"You," Naruto rolled his eyes, "I just don't like some of the conditions I accepted in order to get this job.  I thought, well... It doesn't matter what I thought."

"Didn't you say Sasuke's going to be more busy now anyway?  It's not like you'd be spending your free time with him if you had any," She pointed out.

"Yeah.  It's his final year before he graduates.  He has only a senior seminar and a couple upper division creds and then he'll have two degrees and an impressive resume.  I'm like, the proud doting boyfriend.  I want to kiss him for being so smart!"

Sakura laughed, "You'd want to kiss him still even if he was dumb as a rock."

"I don't go solely on looks, oh my god."

"Everyone that you've been into has been hot," Sakura said, mocking, "You, good sir, go for the aesthetics, and you don't give a shit about the smarts.  You chased this guy halfway across California without caring for a second whether he knew basic mathematics or how to spell his own name."

"I had only wanted a model!  Anyway if he hadn't, I wouldn't have stayed interested in him!  Okay it's Sasuke so maybe that's a fib but still, I could've just taught him..." Naruto was actually very disappointed to find that Sakura was right, "Shit, I'm a photographer, I like pretty things.  That's just how it goes!"

"Also you have a thing for the dark hair, pale skin look."

"Otherwise they start looking more like me!  I'm all the tan and blonde this relationship can handle!"

"God, Barbie, such standards."

Naruto grumbled, "And for your information, you aren't tall, dark, and handsome.  You're all pink!"

"Why's that gotta do with—Oh.  Right.  Your thing for me that lasted like, a month before I set you straight."

"It's proof that I don't have a type.  I go for a wide variety of weird people!"

"What did you just say?  I'm not weird.  I happen to be the finest piece of woman meat this world has ever seen.  Bow down and watch the queen conquer!"

Naruto smiled, "Any luck on your end of finding Mr. Perfect?"

"Shush, you slay me," Sakura sighed, "Sai was, well, it was complicated, and ignoring whatever misinterpretation I had of our relationship, I haven't gone looking since.  I don't think many guys are into pregnant, single women.  Maybe you were willing to be the surrogate father to my baby, but most guys want their kids to be theirs genetically too."

"I forgot..." It dawned on Naruto that Sakura had, about a month ago, told him that she was in love with him.  That didn't fade that quickly.

She snorted, "It's fine, I know what you're like.  Don't bother apologizing, I'm glad you forgot.  It made it easier for me to pretend like I never said it."

"I'm still sorry.  Your feelings were valid and I just completely ignored them."

"Naruto, it's fine.  Your life is busy right now, you have things going for you, it's all good.  My life's not so great at the moment but I'm working on it.  We'll be happy sooner or later."

"Yeah, we will be."

* * *

As predicted, within a week Naruto got news from Hinata.  She was moving back to the United States.  She had gotten a job at a local law firm in Santa Barbara, and just like that, Naruto's old circle of friends was relocating themselves to his new location.  All he needed now was for Iruka to move and he had brought pretty much all of his important people with him.

It was a good feeling, sort of.  It felt nice to have the people he loved close by.  But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that he had yet to introduce Sasuke to any of them in person.  Not even Sakura, and she was getting more and more persistent in insisting that they should meet.  6 degrees of Kevin Bacon said that Sakura knew Sasuke through him, but it still felt weird, like he was keeping his boyfriend secret.  And he didn't even know why, it was like there was some weird barrier that told him that it wouldn't go well if he did.

But those thoughts only made him feel more guilty, like he was ashamed of his own friends.

Naruto groaned, tired of the spinning thoughts in his head.  He was getting nowhere, it was late at night, and he couldn't sleep.  Everything banging around his cranium would have to wait, because it was not a good time to do anything about them.  The China to California time zone change issue meant that Hinata had called to tell him really late at night.  The only consolation he had for staying up so late was that he didn't actually have work tomorrow.  Jiraiya was in an oddly good mood.

He rolled off his bed, and looked around for the leash.  Akamaru was almost never asleep at night.  It was obnoxious as hell, but Naruto had grown too fond of the mangy beast.  Plus, he'd been slacking on walking Akamaru ever since he adopted Kurama.  The fox was cuddly, okay?  He liked to sleep curled around his feet, which Naruto supposed would be a blessing during winter if he wasn't a restless sleeper.

Akamaru was resting at the moment and Naruto was about to damn the universe for so obviously working against him, but all it took was for Naruto to walk past the couch where he slept and suddenly a large dog was excitedly dogging his heels.  Leash properly attached, Naruto set out on his midnight stroll.

He breathed in the soft air, refreshing his lungs.  It tasted like dew and ocean salt; Naruto suddenly wanted to go to the beach and just sprint in the shallows.  He probably could, if he trespassed.

Akamaru dragged him around their usual route, through the university park and the nice neighborhood a block down.  Naruto liked not being able to think.  All he needed was the motion of his legs.  For once, he truly felt like himself.

And suddenly, he felt like someone was watching his every move.  There was someone lurking in the shadows of their vehicle, smoke rising to the air with the stench of cannabis.  He couldn't make out the words but he knew that they hadn't noticed him, just kept on talking with slurred voices.  Naruto shut his eyes to block out his fear, urged himself not to stop but to keep walking.  His eyes though, he couldn't help but watch.  There was a deal going on; drugs were exchanging hands and it wasn't weed, it was the hard stuff.  The stuff that he'd never tried, the stuff that scared him.

So open, too close to the respectable side of town, not stuff he should be seeing changing hands—on every deadly bag was a white and red symbol he was surprised he could remember at all.  It was something printed on business cards he saw in his old boss' hideout, and drawn hastily on the ziplock bags of drugs the pushers sold.  The rounded corners of it when the pusher got sloppy with the pen, how the white was sometimes drawn in black for lack of a better pen... It used to be everywhere, on all the stuff he hadn't been trusted with.  After all, all he had been good for in his gang was beating the shit out of anyone who opposed them, and fight he did. It was all he did.

Naruto pulled sharp on Akamaru's leash, and turned a sharp right, heading as far away from the drug dealers as he could.  Somehow, almost mindlessly, he snuck past the closed gate and found himself by the beach.  The moon reflected off of the water in callous waves that caressed the shore with sea foam.  A piece of driftwood hit up against the shore, solitary and decayed.

Still a little shaky with fear, he took a deep breath.  They hadn't seen him, or if they had, they hadn't followed him.  He was safe.  With that thought, he set himself to something he knew would calm his mind.  Naruto pulled out his camera, and took a couple shots, before he let Akamaru run off on the beach to play.  That way, Naruto could lean back and watch the stars, and the dog wouldn't keep blurring his shots by pulling on his wrists.

He set the camera for long exposure and took a deep breath, the evening chill making his hair stand up on his limbs.

It was a really nice night, one scary encounter aside.  Naruto smiled, and thought of distant galaxies, things very far away, and how wonderful it would be if he could just get one more shot of Sasuke, but perhaps this time during a sunrise.  It was only fitting.  Sunrises were all about beginnings.

Those sorts of thoughts eased his panic, and Akamaru curled up beside him when his heart finally stopped racing.

* * *

Danzou called when Danzou called, so off Naruto went.  He didn't have much of a choice in the matter.  Sakura was vaguely offended that he abandoned her to look for Hinata's new place on her own but he didn't have another option.  He'd get fired if he didn't go, especially since Danzou rarely called for him.

The building US Weekly's editor worked out of was already a drive (it was in Los Angeles of all places.  Naruto had to commute two hours!) and Danzou demanded to see him at 3:45, which barely gave him enough time to hug Sakura goodbye, jump in his car, and put the pedal to the metal.

And of course, when Naruto did show up, the secretary told him to wait, because his boss was tied up in an important meeting.  The blonde groaned, smacked his head against the receptionist's desk, and found a comfy couch to play 2048 on his phone while he waited.  Naruto lost a fair number of games, and of course as soon as he seemed like he could win, he was tapped on the shoulder by Danzou's secretary and brought up to his office.

Naruto took an awkward seat in front of the fairly angry looking man and tried not to stare at his glass eye.

"So..." Naruto said, when Danzou didn't speak.

"I was just in a very important meeting.  Do you often read the news?"  Danzou frowned, folding his hands in front of his face, to pull off what Naruto had come to think of as the Gendo Ikari pose.

It was horrifically intimidating, actually.

"Not often," he replied honestly, shrinking back a little.

"There are rumors in the papers that someone with a lot of connections has begun building a monopoly on drugs and other illegal contraband.  Much like another drug empire, in the past.  So very much alike it, that the news suspects this is no new development, but a reconstruction of the previous system."

Naruto tried not to shake or look guilty.  He'd been far too young for them to let him distribute drugs when he'd been active in his gang and mostly all he did was fight.  Fight everyone.

Danzou shuffled his papers on his desk.  The man crooked a wicked smile, and laid out a newspaper in front of Naruto, "What do you know about this?"

Naruto glanced down, skimming the old article, from ten years ago.  The drug scandal.  Hollywood's brightest and most beautiful, a star studded couple had went from the perfect family to a Romeo and Juliet level tragedy in a matter of hours.  Their drug and alcohol abuse was the barest minimum of it; not when the hubby was the ring leader of a drug empire pulling in billions in revenue.  The whole thing had been exposed by their equally gorgeous and talented eldest son.  After they'd been caught, the couple hung themselves in their family home, leaving their children orphans.

It rang a bell.  Naruto had been 11 (almost 12) at the time.  His gang had been bitching about how the collapse of the drug empire was gonna make the cost of weed skyrocket, not to mention pretty much anything else on the drug market.  More than half of the suppliers were now in jail, after all.  Naruto was scared he'd get arrested with the rest of his gang.  But the gang stopped selling drugs for a week or two and laid low until the scandal blew over.

The drugs all had the red and white symbol on them.  Like Naruto saw on those drug dealers the other day.  His hands trembled at the reminder.

Naruto took in a quick breath and looked at Danzou with a new type of fear.

"I remember it was a big deal," he said carefully.

Danzou nodded, "It was.  I believe it still was.  This is going to be a huge project.  It's your job to try to catch a photo of anything suspicious you see on the dark side.  And if you catch my drift, you'll know that if you find one of their sons, a photo of them will go for more money than you can imagine."

Naruto frowned, looking down at the article, "This isn't the type of photography I do."

"Don't you want this job?  Don't you want to make magazine covers?"

"Well, yes, but this is almost like journalism or something; I'm not the paparazzi.  Plus, how am I going to get a shot of the brothers?  I don't even know what they look like, where they are, how to find them, nothing."

"Not many of the pictures from back then will be very helpful.  The family swept their children under the rug once they stopped being cute and kept them out of the public eye.  But we do have the most recent photo from just before the scandal."

Naruto took the photo Danzo slid over to him with caution.  And he audibly took in a breath, because the boys in the photo looked very familiar.   He couldn't place them, however.

"Who's the man with them?" Naruto asked, examining the photo deeper, his own personal curiosity sparked.

"That man is a second cousin to them.  He was said to have a funny sense of humor."

He looked fairly young, maybe in his late teens or early twenties.  He was wearing a big smile, and he was corralling the two boys into a hug.  The boys' faces were partially hidden, but the glossy hair, big smiles and wide eyes made them look happy and innocent.

"Aren't the kids a bit young, though?  Even if this picture was taken shortly before the scandal, that lands the oldest in his mid to late twenties now.  That's a little young to have a mental 180 and start rebuilding your family's drug empire that you personally exposed to the world."

"Well, they say that Jiroubo was a strange person who couldn't be reasoned with.  After he exposed the family's little misgivings, Jiroubo took his brother and vanished.  It'll be hard as hell to track them down.  But it will be worth it.  Because now that the drug empire is rebuilding, everyone is desperate to solve the mystery of where the brothers disappeared to."

"Just out of curiosity, what's the younger brother's name?  Isn't he more suspicious of the two?  He probably blames his older brother for losing his parents and the cushy childhood he had.  He'd be more likely to pick up where his parents left off, since Jiroubo clearly didn't approve of what they were doing."

"I hired you for a reason, and it wasn't to think," Danzou tapped his fingers on the desk in a way Naruto could only describe as menacing, When Naruto just kept looking at him, determined, the man sighed, "But if you insist, the younger brother's name was Sakon.  Post scandal, he vanished entirely.  No one has heard of him since.  Even Jiroubo had one last published interview, explaining his actions."

Huh, Naruto thought, staring at the two.  "Sakon...  he's younger than me, isn't he?  He probably can't even drink yet.  Both of the siblings seem like a stretch to investigate."

"It is a stretch.  But if it's true... You see why I need someone like you in the field, camera ready.  To my knowledge, the brothers own an abode a few miles out of Santa Barbara.  A older relative of theirs passed away fairly recently, and the house was transferred to their custody.  Investigating the place should be easy for you.  I chose you explicitly for this purpose."

"I...  I'm not the paparazzi or an investigative journalist.  This is way out of my league, far beyond my qualifications."

"Do you know why I had you submit a grittier, darker sort of portfolio?  Because I wanted to see if you could handle this sort of task.  You proved you don't fear going places when other photographers won't venture beyond their studios.  We already have an article shaping up, but we need more information.  More importantly, we need a cover shot.  Get us what we want, and you'll be rewarded handsomely.  Refuse, and you're fired.  I don't need a photographer dangling from my company who refuses to do legwork."

Naruto shook his head, "I need time to think about it."

"You need to get started immediately.  We have to be the first to break this story to the press.  Make your decision now; will you do it, or will you turn in your resignation?"

"Are those really my only choices?"

"Of course.  I need the inside scoop on this and I need a good scandalous cover photo.  You've proven you can do what I need.  So off you go."

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto took the newspaper article with him.

"One last thing," Danzo called from his office, "Make sure you tell no one.  I wouldn't want any of our competitors getting the drop on us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, PLOT PLOT PLOT PLOT PLOT. For a romcom, I can't write anything without soap opera levels of drama. Ugh. I'm sorry I'm a bad person. Next update is probably end of July/early August. As always, I love all of your precious comments, I love you all so much, and you're all great. Except for the trolls but whatever no one loves them. Also, I'm going to repost the Hinata/Kiba fic soonish, at some point. I'm still not happy with it yet.


	14. Negatives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A minor change has occurred. I wrote in an earlier chapter that Sasuke was a biochem major. This was a typo. He's a biomed major. I've changed the other chapter accordingly! Sorry for any confusion. Also I'm sorry this chapter isn't all that great?? Thank you so much to everyone who commented and left me kudos!! I love you guys! You really brighten up my day! On that note, the next update will probably be in late August/early September. Thank you for your patience!

He called Sakura as soon as he got into his car.

"Help," he begged, staring blankly at his steering wheel. "I am in deep shit.  I should've trusted that Danzo was up to no good."

"Slow down, take a deep breath," She made breathing noises until he gave her an exaggerated breath loud enough to satisfy her.  "Good.  Now, tell me what happened."

"Danzo thinks I'm some sort of investigative journalist and I'm freaking out, I can't hunt down some drug emperor!"

"So let me get this straight, he asked you to go snooping undercover to get some sort of shot of a criminal?"

"Yeah.  But no?" Naruto shook his head, "Do you remember that big drug scandal when we were kids?"

"No...?  I mean, hm.  I guess there was one that was pretty dramatic.  The couple, I don't remember their names but my dad loved their films?  I think they both had several oscars or whatever.  After that news, my dad broke every DVD we had with them in it."

Naruto inhaled sharply, "Yeah, that couple.  And Danzou says I have to take a picture of one of their two sons left alive or I lose my leg up in the industry."

"What?"

"And I can't tell anyone so you can't tell anyone!  But please, help me, I don't want to lose my job before I even work it but I don't want to do this."

"It sounds dangerous," Sakura reasoned, "I know I usually tell you that means you need to stop, but you've done crazier things before, and this _is_ your important step up into the industry.  Just snap a good photo or two and get out of there, I know you'll be okay."

"He said the pay would be good.  Very good.  He didn't state figures but I know how much he promised to pay me for a cover page and it's almost astronomical," Naruto gripped his steering wheel with iron fingers, even though he hadn't even turned on his car.  He hadn't moved an inch from the US Weekly building's parking lot.

"Then it should be worth it.  You might want the money..." Sakura's voice got sheepish, "I know I have no right to ask you this and now it's literally the worst time, but... my doctor's bills are crazy right now, and my dad just called and told me I'm no longer on his insurance.  I already applied for insurance elsewhere but I don't have any coverage right now and I can't afford my ultrasound or my next check up.  Or the doctor's visits after that.  So I'd like to take out a loan from you.  Unlike the banks, I know you won't try to rip me off."

Naruto knew his parents' funds were no secret to Sakura.  She knew how he paid for college.  But she didn't know that after dipping into said funds how much of it was probably left.  Naruto didn't want to think about it, but the money wasn't endless, and he'd been using it for months now.

He would definitely be able to loan Sakura whatever she wanted if he got paid for this thing.  Maybe he could scrape up enough without it, but he'd be living lean until he could afford more than rent and groceries.

"You know I don't mind helping you with that kind of stuff," Naruto reminded her, "Your dad's a dick by the way."

"I'm sorry for dropping that on you now but..."

"But things are tight.  I got'cha.  Everything will work out somehow, Sakura, we'll make it work."

* * *

Danzou e-mailed him the address of the old place he should check out first.  It was a bit of a drive out of town, but the road was familiar.  He'd taken Sasuke out this way when they'd went to the rock climbing place. 

Except that this place was even further out of the way.  It felt like he'd taken forever just to get here.  And it wasn't any sort of house.  Oh no, this was a mansion. 

It was some mix of Cali beach style architecture and old Japanese design, that almost worked in a crazy way.  It was surrounded by a large fence, made of dark cast iron, with a single gate in the front, a doorbell and a worn plaque to the left of it.  The plaque said something in Japanese or Chinese, but Naruto couldn't read it.  It was smudgy even if he thought to photograph it as evidence.

Naruto took a picture of the mansion from outside the cast iron gates before hitting the doorbell thing.  He could hear the buzz of an intercom but no answer on the other side.  Seems like there was nobody home.

What harm could it do to peek inside?  The house should be abandoned; the owner had died and the inheritees were MIA.  Naruto still might be able to get a photo or two of his in the magazine out of this, if the gig about finding the sons for a cover shot fell through.

Although, considering the loan he'd just let Sakura borrow from him, he'd need this to pay his rent.  He was fucked otherwise.

Naruto looked to make sure he was alone, hit the buzzer once more, and then began climbing the fence was he was really sure he wouldn't get caught trespassing.  This wasn't the worst thing he'd ever done and he doubted it was the most dangerous.  Even if there were crazy drug lords inside, it wouldn't be the first time he'd gotten fucked up.  He didn't have knife scars on his face because he grew up _sheltered_.  Naruto was most definitely not scared.

Okay so maybe he was a little scared.

He landed in the other side of the fence without a hitch, and he snuck through the palm trees to the front door.  Naruto couldn't exactly bust it down, and he never was fiddly enough for lock picking.  He snapped a shot or three of the front porch in the waning yellow noon light, a monarch butterfly landing on a rather decrepit wicker rocking chair and making the entire scene.

Naruto grinned, adjusting his focus, leaning back against the door, and snapping another shot.

The door clicked open.  

The sudden loss of his support had Naruto tumbling into the house, a cloud of dust shooting up as he collided with the floor.  He scampered to his feet, staring around the darkened place with hesitation.

No one had been here for months, obvious just from the layer of accumulated grime, almost pristine without a single footprint marring it's completeness.  So much for this being the crime empire's HQ.  It felt like a wasted drive, a hopeless venture into some dead guy's house. Naruto wasn't a fan of dead things.  Ghosts creeped him out.  He wanted to leave.

But Naruto had already scuffed up the entryway.  He might as well go exploring.  He needed the money.  Just one clue could put him on the path to fame and rent for next month.

He tiptoed through the main hallway into a kitchen.  There wasn't a lot left.  Someone had removed things from all the cupboards.  The drawers were all pulled open and emptied.  The only thing that seemed to be remaining was two huge bags of dog food, set up the door.  Naruto noted with a hapless smile that it was the brand he bought for Kurama.  Kiba had said that the high meat content would be good for the oddly tailed fox.  Naruto idly wondered what happened to the dog or dogs that had once been here as he rifled through the rest of the kitchen.

The kitchen had a door that led to the backyard.  There was a pool in the back with green, filthy water, and the scent of palm oil filled Naruto's senses as he went out onto the patio.  

A shed was hidden behind the foliage, and he made his way there gingerly.  The door on the shed was locked, and Naruto lifted up a dying potted plant nearby in hopes of finding the key.  No luck.  The mansion itself had three floors and he had barely seen any of it, he reminded himself, so he gave up on the shed and went back inside.

The first floor seemed to have an entry way, a main hall that ended at the kitchen, and a living room which had a bunch of plastic covered couches and empty picture frames.

The stairs were creaky as he made his way up them.  Naruto felt like he was in some old horror movie, like he was being chased down by a monster in the creepy abandoned house.  The mansion had all the correct stuff in it after all.  Dust, check!  Cobwebs everywhere, check!  Creaky stairs, check!  Cracked glass windows, check!  Smells of death... Well, it only sort of smelled like death.  Mostly it smelled like palm oil.

Naruto explored the second floor like he did the first, by checking all the doors and peering in, then taking a photo of the undisturbed room. But on the first floor, there had been nothing.  The second floor's rooms were filled with stuff.

Two of the bedrooms looked like they'd been hastily turned into storage rooms.  It looked like a thrift store or a pawn shop with all the weird stuff piled up on the floors and beds and sticking out of the closets.  There were brooms, hockey sticks, workout equipment, vases, stained glass mason jars, stuffed animals, sheets, kitchen supplies, pots and pans, sex toys, a dog leash, a mini fridge, a piano, three chess sets and a go board, a grill, a couch, two TVs, a Wii, several colorful rugs in red and white, dead plants, a tea kettle, and much more just scattered about in the room.

And amongst the mess, a photo album.

Naruto clambered for the album, and once his prize was securely in his fingers, left the messed up room behind and shut the door.

He didn't know exactly what he was hoping for in the album but he wasn't expecting it to be mostly blank.  And the missing spots, their descriptions were enough to make Naruto suspicious.

_'Mikoto upon the birth of her first son, Jiroubo.  August 16th, 1989."_

_'Sakon and Jiroubo, ages 6 and 11.'_

_'Jiroubo found a cat, age 12'_

_'Sakon in the pool, age 8."_

_'Mikoto and Fugaku's funeral, may they rest in peace. September 18, 2005."_

Naruto shook his head.  All the missing pictures told him was that someone had been here at some point and had taken or destroyed any photos with the two brothers in them.  He couldn't get anything out of empty spots.

The remaining photos were of the old man.  Most of them showed a stern, crazy looking sort of fellow, who looked alternatively very regal or very angry depending on the shot.

If he wasn't dead, Naruto would've sworn he looked far more likely to be some evil drug lord than someone Naruto's age.

Mixed in with the old man were pictures of the tragic couple, both gorgeous and slender and happy.  They looked too innocent to be criminals whose fortunes were built off the suffering of others and were poisoning themselves with their own drugs.  And occasionally, Naruto saw a picture of that second cousin.  He seemed very close to the deceased husband in all those photos, always with a hand on his shoulder and a silly grin.

Naruto took the album with him as he explored the rest of the house.

It was the master bedroom on the third floor that held the great clue he wanted.

It was a picture of the old man.  With a three tailed fox.  Very obviously, with _Kurama_.

Naruto took that photo too, and knew he had one more person to interrogate.  He doubted his roommate would appreciate it, though.

* * *

Kiba was in no mood to talk when Naruto got back home. 

"'m sick, go away..." he groaned from the couch, sniffling.

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "You weren't sick when I left, about four hours ago."

"Shaddup," Kiba whined as he turned off the TV.  He'd been watching some old romance movie.  Naruto put money on the Titanic.

Naruto sighed, microwaved his roommate some soup, and settled down on the couch next to him.  The soup was handed over as collateral.  "What happened?  Why are you crying?"

"I fucked it up with Hinata..." Kiba made a sound that might've been a sob but also sounded a lot like a hiccup.

Naruto patted his shoulder awkwardly, "I'm sure it's fine, Hinata's  usually super chill.  What happened?"

"I sent her a text meant for Ino on accident," Kiba handed his phone over with one hand and slurped soup with the other.

Naruto read through his texting log until he got to the offending text.

_"Fuck off im taken!!  stop txting me were over"_

Naruto facepalmed, "You fucking idiot."

He scrolled up a little bit more, just to see what the last thing Hinata sent was.

_"Good morning~  How's that cute cat you sent me pictures of doing?  I hope she gets adopted soon.  Today I turned in my official job resignation at my father's company, and the airplane tickets are bought too.  So maybe I'll be the one adopting that kitty!  (=^ェ^=)  Do you think she and Akamaru would get along?"_

 It sounded like she'd become comfortable with Kiba already.  She didn't text so much otherwise, Naruto knew from experience.  But not replying wasn't usually her style, and there's no way she wouldn't've been hurt by that.  So huh.

Kiba sniffed, "Ino asked me today if we wanna fuck before Hinata gets here because I dunno, she's tired of the dicks at the club who don't treat her right.  But I just got super fed up with it because she was being so disrespectful to Hinata, you know?  Saying shit like she'll never have to know or it doesn't matter because we aren't dating yet or whatever.  So I might've overreacted and told her off.  Except I sent it to the wrong person."

Naruto winced, "Sounds like you fucked up.  But you called her and told her it was sent to the wrong person, right?"

Kiba sniffled into his soup, "No?"

Naruto slapped his forehead again, "Why not?"

"I kind of panicked."

Naruto understood only too well.

"I'm going to call her now, okay?" Naruto pulled out his phone and dialed the number, "So you just drink your soup and stop crying because if all goes well she'll want to talk to you once I'm done."

This was not how he expected to spend his evening, Naruto thought with a sigh.

"Wèi." Hinata said.

"Uhhhhh, hi?" Naruto responded.

"Oh!  Hello, sorry, my brain is all wired for Chinese right now.  Long chat with my dad.  He's not happy.  Did you need something?"

"Nah, just to talk.  Is it a bad time?" Naruto didn't like phone calls very much and he almost wanted to shove the phone at Kiba and tell him to do it instead.  But he'd promised.

"Let me just take my lunch break.  I'm just tying loose ends anyways," she made some rustling sounds, and then he heard her call out, "Wǒ yǐ wǒ de wǔxiū!"

Someone called back, "Hǎo!"

"Sometimes I find it really impressive that you're bilingual," Naruto said with awe, "I can barely grasp English."

"What, only sometimes?" She laughed, "Plus I'm only fluidly bilingual, but I have a good grasp of Japanese and Korean too."

Naruto snorted, "Yeah, yeah, you impress me more everyday.  Uh, so, did you get a text from Kiba earlier?  Cause he's panicking."

Kiba made a distressed noise from his place next to Naruto on the couch.

"Oh," she sounded rather dejected, "I did get one.  I kept waiting for some kind of explanation, but none came, and I was at work.  It was a bad time to process it, so I just filed it away and forgot."

That sounded like Hinata.  She was the queen of filing away stuff she didn't like and only addressing it when she felt like it.  That had been something that had always bugged him about her, but he supposed it had just saved Kiba's ass from being dumped on the streets, so he just started explaining:

"It wasn't meant for you.  His ex was bugging him, but he sent it to the wrong number.  He seems to think you hate him now?"

Kiba jabbed him in the side and waved his arms frantically.

Hinata made a surprised sort of noise, "I don't hate him, I was mostly just confused.  But that explains things.  Why didn't he just say so?"

"Because he was too busy blubbering," Naruto said, shoving away his roommate, who was now making grabby hands for his phone.  It wasn't time to hand the phone over yet.

"Naruto, I swear to God if you don't hand me that phone I'll find some way to call Sasuke and tell him all about how many filthy wet dreams you have about sucking his hairy balls!" Kiba screeched, and even Naruto's feet weren't enough to kick him away.

They ended up tangled on the floor, with Naruto's phone held up to his roommate's ear whilst still in his hand.  Kiba had won this round of wrestling, but Naruto chalked it up to the fact he only had had one free hand.

"Hinata, I'm so fucking sorry!  Please please forgive me, I didn't mean it!  You're great and I don't wanna lose you!" Kiba begged into the receiver.

Naruto watched in amusement as Kiba's expression brightened into a grin, and made the appropriate boyfriend noises into the phone.

Once Kiba'd hung up, the blond asked, "You really like her, huh?"

Kiba handed the phone back and sat back on the couch.  Naruto stayed on the floor.  The brunet shrugged, "You suck, saying all those uncool things about me to her!  I want her to like me.  She's a really cool girl.  I'm not cool enough for her but she doesn't seem to care."

"Yeah, I know," Naruto smiled and gave him a thumbs up, "A+ woman you've got there.  Don't fuck it up again.  She's understanding, not naïve."

Kiba nodded, looking away, "I wish she was here.  I know she'll be here soon but, I..."

"I miss her too," Naruto said.

"I bet you miss Sasuke more.  You haven't seen him since you went over there on the Sunday before finals week," Kiba punched him in the shoulder.  It made the empty soup bowl wobble precariously on his lap.

Naruto shrugged, "I've been crazy busy with work.  I need to ask some questions about that, you know!"

"What do I have to do with your work?" Kiba raised an eyebrow.

Naruto produced the pictures of Kurama and his old owner, only slightly scrunched from their rough ride in his pocket.  As he smoothed them out on his leg, he started thinking of a plausible lie.

"I'm doing an article on—," Naruto thought quickly, "—Exotic pet ownership.  So I need to know some more about the guy who used to own Kurama.  What's the deal there?"

Kiba shrugged, "I dunno, the old guy didn't do anything with the shelter.  It was only after he died that we were sent to the house and dragged the little guy away.  Very reluctant to go, I might add.  We spent a couple weeks calling and writing some weird address to find his next of kin.  No luck. So we gave up, put him up for adoption, and waited, until it looked like the shelter would've put him down and then I turned to you, oh wonderful roomie, to adopt him."

Naruto frowned, even though he already knew the information, "Who were his next of kin?  Maybe if I can get ahold of them, I can get an interview?"

His next of kin were Jiroubo and Sakon, that much Naruto knew.  So if Kiba gave him an address, it'd pretty much end his crazy investigation for sure.  He could go snap a picture and be done.

"I'm not supposed to release stuff like that," Kiba shook his head, "Plus they never responded to me at all!  I can give you the phone number we had on call maybe?"

Naruto shrugged.  It was better than nothing, he guessed.  He could try to track it if it was a landline, and if it wasn't then he would just have to hope he could call them and not bring an entire drug empire's ire down upon himself.

"Okay, I'll give it to you tomorrow if you come to work with me," Kiba promised, "I'll give you the entire file, in fact."

"Thanks, Kibbles," Naruto fist-bumped him.

* * *

It turns out that Kiba could get fired if he released the whole file, so he only got the phone number anyway.  After he'd gotten back into his car at the shelter's parking lot, Naruto shot off a quick text to Sasuke. 

_"wanna get pizza with Sakura & me? Y/N + im buying"_

Kiba had reminded him last night just how long it'd been since he saw Sasuke and the answer was too long.  Plus, he sort of missed Sakura too.  So his crazy idea was to actually listen to Sakura for once and introduce his best friend and his boyfriend.

Sasuke's reply buzzed back within a few minutes.

_"Only if you get that one pizza I like.  With the tomatoes."_

Naruto rolled his eyes.  His boyfriend had been introduced to pizza with grilled tomatoes as toppings and ever since he had no hope of getting Sasuke to want any other toppings.  In fact, last time he'd had to argue until he was blue in the face just to get pepperoni.

_"u + ur weird tomato pizza.  thanks for being chill about meeting Sakura."_

_"you survived my horde, I'll survive meeting one of yours"_

_"horde??"_

_"Suigetsu, Karin, Juugo.  My horde."_

He laughed.  Yeah, Sasuke's friends were weird.  But so was Sasuke and really, he liked them all fairly well.  Especially Karin, Naruto adored Karin to the ends of the earth.

_"sakura's super chill itll be fun"_

_"I trust you."_ Sasuke replied, and that was that.

Naruto felt a lump in his throat.  Those words were tiny but they meant everything.  For someone so guarded and skittish, hearing "I trust you" meant more than his silly brain could process.

So off Naruto was to find Sasuke's weird pizza and probably something normal for the sane humans in the bunch.  It didn't take long until he'd finished, arriving at Shoreline Park with two boxes from Pizza Mizza.  Well, he had an absolutely miserable time trying to find parking, but besides that all was well and he was breathing in the familiar scent of the ocean.

The park wasn't terribly busy at the moment, most of the families who would have filled it to the brim had their children in school.  So it was relatively simple to find the closest picnic table to the ocean and just breathe in and out.  The peace was disturbed only by the fact that Naruto was absolutely positive everyone there was judging him, and he almost wanted to either a.) shrink in on himself until he was a ball of awkward nerves or b.) make a scene so they really did have a reason to judge him and he wouldn't feel so awkward sitting at a table alone with two large pizzas.

His savior was Sakura, who'd taken the bus over from her apartments.  She ran to greet him, the very picture of summer in her flowy blouse and patterned shorts.

"Sakura!" Naruto grabbed her in a hug, "I was about to kill passerby so you came just in time!"

She laughed and smacked his back, "Where's this boyfriend of yours?"

"Uh, I dunno.  He promised to show up so I guess he's probably running late?" He let go of her and shrugged, looking up to the sky.

"I'm not late if you don't set a time," Sasuke said, appearing out of nowhere.  Naruto hadn't even seen him approaching.

"Holy shit—!" The blonde wheezed, "Don't sneak up on people like that!  You could've given me a heart attack!"

"Does your ramen consumption rate leave you at risk for heart disease?" Sasuke asked in a way that reminded Naruto of getting a routine check up, "As a biomedical student at UCSB, I would like you to know your treatment options."

Naruto decided to humor him, gasping dramatically, "Of course I do!  What if I die?"

"First, you can actually eat some fucking vegetables and stop making fun of me for liking tomato pizza.  Or second, you can introduce me to your friend," Sasuke snickered.

Sakura's eyes were wide and she sort of gaped at him, like he was a foreign species.

"Oh yeah!  Sakura, this is Sasuke.  And Sasuke, this is Sakura Haruno."

"What's your last name, Sasuke?" Sakura asked, her doe eyes fluttering at him and her smile just a stretch too big to be real.

"I was adopted by my brother, so I use his, which is Hoshigaki," Sasuke looked a bit sour at the question.

"Isn't that his married last name?" Naruto wondered aloud, "That's like your brother saying his husband is your dad, that's weird!  Technically you're your own uncle!"

Sasuke snorted, "I guess you're right.  I never thought of it like that.  Let's hope my brother never adopts any kids.  Then I'd be their brother and their uncle, and that just sounds fucking incestuous."

"So if your brother adopted you, do you mind if I ask what happened to your parents?" Sakura said, and Naruto glanced at her questioningly.  Why was she playing twenty questions with Sasuke?  This wasn't supposed to be an interrogation!

"They died," Sasuke said bluntly.  "I'm hungry."

Naruto opened both boxes and pushed the weird tomato one at Sasuke, while both Sakura and he took pieces of the wonderful supreme pizza he'd gotten for sane human beings.

Sakura mumbled, "Sorry I asked about your parents.  It was insensitive of me."

Sasuke waved her off, "I don't care.  It was forever ago so I don't need your sympathy."

"Well at least you and Naruto are in the dead parents club together!" Sakura bit her lip, "That came out terrible, I should stop talking."

"Nah man," Naruto took a large bite of pizza and relished the taste, swallowing it down with a swig of water, "We don't care.  Even for me, it was forever ago.  What I'm curious about is how Sasuke got adopted.  It's not everyday you become your brother's child."

Sasuke sighed deeply, his whole face a mask of annoyed indifference, "As soon as my brother turned 18, he signed the papers and we both left foster care.  He adopted me so there was no question of whether he got full guardianship rights over me and everything left to me in the will.  We lived off of that for a while until my brother went to med school. I lived by myself while he became a doctor and got married, and now he spends most of his time on another continent.  End of story."

"So he adopted you for money?" Sakura actually sounded offended on Sasuke's behalf.

The raven haired boy shrugged, "The state wasn't happy about us.  They tried to split us up a lot.  Itachi made sure they couldn't."

Naruto put his hand, his left and not greasy hand, on top of Sasuke's clenched fist at the table.  His boyfriend's hand was warm, and his muscles loosened until the point where Naruto could flip his hand over so they were more properly holding hands.

One great thing about having a left-handed boyfriend was that they could totally hold hands and eat pizza at the same time without any trouble.

Sakura giggled a bit at the sight of their entwined fingers, "You two are cute!  Sasuke, tell me about your major and all that sort of stuff?"

"I'm double majoring in biomed and fashion," Sasuke tapped his fingers out on the table, before looking at Naruto, "I think it's my turn to ask questions.  How did you meet Sakura?"

"Uh," Naruto said eloquently.

Sakura took over for him, "It's a long, complicated story.  We were in the same school system in Sacramento ever since I can remember, but we first really met in middle school, I think."

"Could've been high school," Naruto said, feeling a bit sick.  What if Sasuke misunderstood?  Hell, what if he didn't and he didn't want to date some crazy ex-gang member?  He hadn't even told Kiba the full story and they'd been living together for ages.  And now with a bit of a shock, he realized that he hadn't so much as broached the subject of their respective pasts with Sasuke out of a suppressed fear of admitting his own.

"We weren't friends back then, yet!  In fact, he was in a gang!"  Sakura shook her head, smiling.

Sasuke stared at him for a while in apparent shock until Naruto got the courage to snap, "It was just something that happened, ok?"

Sasuke squeezed his hand and wouldn't meet his eyes.

Sakura picked up where he left off, "Naruto was this crazy guy and sometimes I didn't even know why he was still coming to school! And when he joined the gang he just stopped.  I had never liked him of course but when he vanished it was something I noticed.  Everyone else just sort of ignored it but I wasn't going to.  At first it was like a Nancy Drew type detective thing for me!  Let's see if I'm smart enough to find this missing kid.  So I brought this shitty camera everywhere I went and started snooping about for clues."

Naruto tried to smile as he mumbled, his stomach churning, "You even bought a deer stalker hat for the occasion."

"I did!" Sakura beamed at him, "I loved that hat.  That's where my passion for photography began, too.  After long periods of snooping, I began to figure out it was scarier than I'd thought.  I found out that he'd been living off the streets and only coming to school so he could eat lunch.  And finally one day, I found Naruto with his gang."

"My job was to rough people up when they snooped," Naruto stared hard at the table, "Or distract them.  But when Sakura came around, I couldn't scare her off."

Sasuke's grip on his fingers tightened.

"Once I'd found him, I only got more persistent.  When I started high school, I teamed up with one of the teachers there, Iruka, to convince him to come back to school.  His gang kept on harassing him because people don't get to leave gangs, you know, even if they're kids, and then as soon as I though we'd made some leeway, they decided to teach him a lesson.  With a knife and a lighter to his face."

Naruto jolted, his memories turning dark and twisted as he fought not to go back there, into that room where there was nothing but pain and blood.

He could feel the blazing burn of the lighter against his cheek and how his blood sizzled on his face, how he'd been a kid in high school and he'd been screaming and they would just watch him struggle and cut him up more when he didn't scream enough. How he thought he was dead when they all ditched him, how he thought the police woman who'd untied him was an angel.

"Iruka and I called the police, of course," Sakura frowned, "We were too late to stop him from getting those scars but it was a turning point.  After that, Naruto stayed with Iruka.  He beat up every goon that gang sent after him until they gave up on him."

"Y-yeah," Naruto forced himself to speak, "Sakura became my first friend after that.  She tutored me and got me caught up on school and taught me how fun it was to use a camera."

"I see," Sasuke didn't ease up his death grip on Naruto's hand, "That's where your scars are from."

"Yeah... Sorry, should I have said something earlier?" Naruto mumbled.

"Everyone has secrets."  Sasuke looked over at Sakura, and motioned with his free hand, "I have to get going soon."

"Sure," Sakura said, "We'll clean up.  Have a nice day."

No, no, no, this was bad.  Sasuke had stood up and was letting go of him and he didn't want to lose him!  He couldn't just leave!  He had to understand somehow, Naruto couldn't just let him walk away.

He grabbed Sasuke's hand back and let Sasuke drag him away from the table, unwilling to release his grip.  Once they were out of earshot, Sasuke stopped and turned back to look at him, his dark eyes expressionless, "I have class."

"You're not going to say anything?" Naruto said even though his head was spinning out of control and he felt sick, the type of sick that makes you not want to eat for days but has no physical cause.

"Naruto, I don't care.  We both are keeping secrets.  It's better if it stays that way.  Now I have to _go_ ," He at last let go of Naruto's hand, and the blonde swore he felt his bones moving apart.

His head felt dizzy, and his heart was beating too fast, and he was about to kneel over and puke if Sasuke didn't stop acting like some sort of emotionless zombie because just the thought of losing him made Naruto panic.  If he actually had fucked something up, he couldn't deal with this suspense, this not knowing, and knowing Naruto he had fucked something up and he had to fix it, now, somehow—!

"Breathe," Sasuke was saying, steadily, "Take a deep breath.  You're safe."

No, he wasn't safe!  He'd screwed this up and now everything was a mess and he felt like he was drowning because somehow he was and he couldn't stand, and when had his legs crumpled underneath him?  When had he started crying?

Why was everyone looking at him?  He wanted everyone and everything to go away!  Please, Naruto felt trapped, he was stuck, he needed Sasuke to know he was sorry, he couldn't stop shaking.

"Breathe," Sasuke commanded once again, and oh it was a brilliant idea.

Naruto forced himself to suck in a breath but it forced itself back out before his lungs felt even vaguely full.

"Breathe with me," Sasuke said, "In," he inhaled, "...out," he exhaled.  This repeated until Naruto synchronized his breathing and his vision cleared up.  His thoughts were bouncing around his head and he still felt terrible but he wasn't suffocating anymore which was a vast improvement.

"Feeling better?" Sasuke asked from where he sat, cross legged and a foot away.

"Yeah, I... This doesn't... I..."

"Shhh... You're fine.  Do you need to go to the hospital or take medication?" Sasuke leveled him with an even stare.  "Sakura's getting you your water bottle."

"...thank you," Naruto said, staring at the grass beneath his knees.

"Naruto, can you answer my question?"

"Can we just forget this ever happened?" Naruto whispered, "Fuck, I tried so fucking hard not to let that happen and it did.  What the fuck is wrong with me?"

Sasuke said quietly, "Panic attacks are not your fault.  It's a medical condition.  Are you on medication for it?"

Naruto shook his head, "Iruka couldn't afford more hospital bills, so I never got tested or anything because I kept pitching a fit every time he tried to take me in.  I should've gone in and got it when I was 18 and my inheritance unlocked but I never did.  I used most of it up on college and I swore I was getting better, I..."

Sasuke took his hand in his own, his thumb stroking comforting circles, "Talking about it must have made it more prevalent.  But even if it's not debilitating, you should consider taking medication or going to therapy.  This is something you need to get treated.  It may be a symptom of a bigger, worse problem."

"I'm too scared to," Naruto admitted, "I hate phone calls and hospitals and crowds.  I'm a fucking mess but I don't want anyone else to know."

"That's just more of a reason for you to get help," the dark haired boy said, his voice deep and gentle, "Sakura can go with you.  But for right now, I'm sorry, I have to go to class.  I wasn't trying to avoid you or anything, I promise.  We are fine."

Naruto nodded, and he relaxed as he felt Sakura's comforting hand on his shoulder, handing him a now full water bottle.

Sasuke stood up and brushed off his pants, "I'm serious about the treatment thing though.  I will call you later and we can talk, okay?"

Naruto nodded, "I'm okay now, you can go."

As Sasuke left to go catch the bus, Sakura said in slight awe, "He just went all doctor on you.  Fashion major my ass."

Naruto pinned her with a look, "You've seen his work before.  Remember those dresses at the auction?  He _made_ those."

"Ok, not to be rude, but your boyfriend is terrifying," she helped him up, offering her hand, "There's talented and there's _God hast shone down upon thee unfairly_ , and Sasuke is probably the latter.  It kind of pisses me off."

"Oh man," Naruto said, staring at the last glimpse he got of Sasuke as he boarded the bus, "I completely agree with you.  Do you think I'll get out of going to the doctor's somehow?  I really really don't want to go."

Sakura made an angry noise, "Don't even.  I agree with him.  You have to go, you didn't see you a few minutes ago.  You looked bad, real bad."

"I thought I was okay with that shit but I really, really wasn't," Naruto shook his head, "it's been more than five years, and I'm still messed up."

"I shouldn't even have said anything.  I fucked up bringing it up, but I..." Sakura pulled at her fading pink hair and her blonde roots and cursed, "Fuck, Naruto, I'm so sorry.  I said all that because I wanted to scare him off.  I tried to sabotage your relationship because I'm a fucking bitch."

"I don't think it worked," Naruto croaked, his face leaning against her shoulder.

"I'm glad it didn't work.  I won't do that shit again, I don't know what came over me," she took one of her hands and placed it on his head, stroking the wild spikes of blonde that went every which way.

"I know... I'm tired as balls.  Wanna have a sleepover?" Naruto looked up at her pleadingly, mostly because he knew it'd work, "Just like high school again but with 100% less parental supervision.  There will be video games, take-out, and crying."

"Sign me up," Sakura said, "No pizza though.  I'll spring for Chinese."


	15. Occlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is going to be basically horrible. I'm so sorry. So long and thanks for all the kudos.
> 
> also i am the queen drama queen, it is me

Naruto angled for a piece of broccoli with his chopsticks.  He was no where near good enough to actually grab it though.  He pouted, "I am fucking determined not to get a fork but this fried rice is testing my saint-like patience."

"What saint?" Kiba jibed, "The saint of impatience?"

"Kiba does have a point.  You could never learn how to use chopsticks before because you were too eager to eat," Sakura grins, picking up a piece of chicken with what should be unfair grace.  He was beginning to expect this sort of thing from Sakura.  She only jibed him about things she had already mastered.

Despite the rough afternoon, so far the sleepover was going well.  Kiba had joined in, and Sakura and he screamed at each other as they competed over who was truly better at Call of Duty while Naruto munched on popcorn off to the side and made fun of the both of them.  Chinese take-out was ordered, and Naruto had shoved down far more questionable "chicken" this night than he'd done in a while.   He almost felt like he was in college again, just with better roommates.

His phone jingled in his pocket, and Naruto knew automatically who it was.  Well, only one person had threatened him with a talk later today and that very person was the only person assigned to the ringtone of "Pocketful of Sunshine" by Natasha Bedingfield.  The ringtone was supposedly ironic, and Suigetsu thought it was hilarious, so it had somehow stuck.  And anyway, Naruto liked that song.

"Pause, pause," Naruto said, "Sasuke's gonna interrogate me.  Kiba, you can take over for me; I have this weird feeling that this is gonna take forever and there might be more crying."

"I can only give you so many hugs, dude," Kiba shook his head, but he took the controller anyway.  Naruto took his rice, climbed off the couch, and went into the kitchen so he could pretend he was actually going to have a private conversation.  But hey, Sakura would probably only eavesdrop if she knew it was okay to do so.

Naruto hit redial and called his boyfriend back.

"Hello?" Sasuke answered.

"It's me, obviously," He blabbered, "I'm guessing this is about this afternoon or whatever but like, I don't want to talk about it right now."

Sasuke tsked, "Fine.  Then I'll call back tomorrow."

"Wait, wait, don't.  If we have to have this talk, now is just as good as any time.  I'll man up," Naruto sighed, already feeling strung out.  He hated talking about his own problems.

"So long as you're sure," his boyfriend intoned.  "You were quite clearly having a panic attack.  Have you ever been diagnosed with anything for that?"

"Uh, no.  When I started realizing how anxious I got around people, I got too anxious to even want to go to the doctor's.  I can't deal with strangers at all unless someone's with me, and even then I fumble it all and sound really messed up," Naruto squeezed his eyes shut, "Sometimes just memories of fucked up stuff triggers it too.  Any time I don't feel safe or confident, basically."

Naruto heard his boyfriend make an understanding sort of hum.  He said, "We can go to the doctor's together, then.  If you need someone to be with you to feel safe, then I can be that person."

Oh sweet Jesus, Sasuke wasn't going to just drop this, was he?  

...Naruto thought it through.  If Sasuke came with him, then, well... Sasuke knew what he was doing in hospitals!  He was a biomed major, he knew how doctor stuff worked.  He'd be able to avoid looking like a fool in front of a bunch of people at least.  And since that was his main worry, then...

The blond grumbled, "I'm only going if you go with me."

"Perfect.  Can you do... two weeks from today?  Beginning of September, around the 4th?"

"I can."

"Good.  Then afterwards we can go for ramen," Sasuke promised, "Think of it like the lollipop that you get after a shot.  Not like you need more junk in your diet, but I can understand not liking doctors."

"You can?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke paused, "Don't tell anyone I said this, especially not Itachi.  But the reason Itachi became a doctor in the first place was because I refused to go to the hospital for _anything._  So I quite literally got house calls until my brother decided he wanted to do more good doctoring elsewhere and flung himself off to Africa."

"Really?" Naruto stared down at his knees, smiling a bit as he thought about a younger Sasuke being a petulant butt about getting help, and Itachi getting really frustrated with him about it.

"Really.  Clearly, medical stuff doesn't scare me anymore," his boyfriend made a frustrated sound, "But really, even if I'm studying it, I think one doctor in this family is enough.  I don't want to become a clone of my brother.  I feel like no matter what I do, I can't escape his shadow.  It's always: _'stay anonymous, stay safe.'_  It's really frustrating."

Naruto wasn't sure what he'd just heard.  Stay anonymous?  What was Sasuke even saying?  Something wasn't right, there was a bad feeling in Naruto's stomach as he tried to connect the dots in his head.  What did he mean by stay anonymous, stay safe?  Before he could ask, Sasuke started talking again:

"So I get that you're scared of doctors.  The only way you can get over that is to actually go to them and get help.  They're not out to hurt you."

Naruto mumbled, his nervousness back, "Still it's so official, what if I mess up the process or something?  What if I don't bring the right paperwork or I—"

"The staff there is used to that.  They're literally there at the front desk to help you with that so if it happens, they can fix it," Sasuke deadpanned.

"It's still scary.  I could inconvenience so many people.  And all the people in the waiting room will be staring at me, thinking I'm stupid because I can't even do something so fucking basic as that."

"You are," his muse said suddenly, "really selfless.  Remember to take care of yourself sometimes.  The opinions of everyone else don't matter.  The way that you are right now, you weigh down everyone else because you need them to care for you."

He tightened his grip on his phone, unsure what to make of what he'd just heard.  Had Sasuke just insulted him?  "...what?"

"I'm saying that you don't need to worry about what everyone thinks," the dark haired man reasoned, "when you really should be worrying about yourself.  Fuck what everyone thinks of you.  Do what you need to do to take care of yourself."

"Why do you think that?" Naruto asked, a bit of irritation creeping into his voice, "It's not that easy!  Thinking everyone hates me or that everyone is judging me is impossible to just turn off like that!  That's really fucking condescending, you know, just telling me to fix my issue by instantly changing my mind."

Sasuke replied, "It's advice I wish someone had given me when I was younger."

Naruto let out a quiet, "Oh."

"I was ten when my parents died.  I was angry at everything and I hated everyone, especially Itachi.  I felt like everyone was expecting things of me all the time.  I was paranoid, thinking everyone was out to get me.  Everyone was always watching, cameras ready, waiting for me to mess up."

"Cameras...?" Naruto couldn't help but ask, a piece of the puzzle sliding in place.

Sasuke made a high pitched noise of frustration, "Not exactly important, loser, ignore that.  Basically I was fucked up in the head like you are but I got over it when I decided I didn't care what everyone else's opinion of me was.  It's never going to be easy or sudden to change your mindset, but that's the beginning of being less scared of everyone.  They can't touch you if you don't let them."

Naruto's head was spinning.  He rubbed his forehead.

Sasuke took a deep breath, "These things might be medical for you, but they're made much worse by your psychological problems.  Going to the hospital is the first step."

He closed his eyes, "I think that's the most you've ever said to me in a row."

"I got frustrated."

"We're way more alike than I thought," Naruto laughed, a sort of dry, self-deprecating laugh for the irony rather than any hilarity, "But I don't think I can live the way you do.  It sounds kind of lonely, Sasuke."

"Surprisingly enough, it isn't," He replied.  "You'll figure out later that it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of you if you get what you want."

The conversation didn’t go on much longer, but those words stuck with him.  So many little things stuck out from just that conversation that Naruto had a very bad feeling.  He didn’t want to be that nosy boyfriend, but suddenly he had so many questions.  Why had Sasuke grown up around cameras?  Why was it that Sasuke and Itachi refused to be photographed?  Why did Sasuke say he had to stay anonymous?

Sasuke was hiding something from him.  Something big, something important.  Something bad, his mind supplied.  Something probably very bad, and Sasuke was getting looser with his secrets.  The worst part was that while Naruto was sure he was supposed to be happy that his boyfriend wasn't hiding so many things from him anymore, instead he just felt this sick kind of fear about what he would learn.

_It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of you if you get what you want._

Why did hearing that advice only make Naruto feel scared of what his boyfriend could be hiding?

* * *

The next day, Naruto went back to working on his "project" for work.  US Weekly wasn't too happy they had already had to wait so long for results.  He wasn't sure if they understood that if just anyone could find these assholes out and about that it'd be worthless to publish the article in the first place.  Anyway, it was almost therapeutic, being able to turn his tired mind off of everything he and Sasuke had discussed over the phone and how he was now both simultaneously afraid of (afraid for?  Well, either wording was true) and in love with the same damn person.  So in retrospect, doing some basic detective work wasn't so bad at all.

The phone number was the only contact info he'd gotten from Kiba, but researching it turned out to be more useful than he thought.  It had a country code and everything, so apparently, the brothers both lived in Japan of all places.

Naruto tried calling at a good time, with a tiny handheld recorder to make sure he didn't miss anything, but no one picked up the phone, and he got a very confusing message back from the answering machine.  He regretted more than ever that he'd never taken an interest in his heritage.  If he could just bloody figure out what it said...  Well, when he replayed the recorder, it had sounded something like:

"Moshi moshi, anata wa Hozuki famirī no rusuban denwa ni tasshimashita. Bīpu-on no nochi ni messēji o nokoshite kudasai."

Or, he had completely misheard everything and had no clue what he'd thought he'd heard, since he wasn’t good with Japanese at all.  Maybe he'd bug someone about it.  Actually the more he thought on it, the more sense it made.  The star studded couple were both Japanese immigrants, which made the fact that both Jiroubo and Sakon seem to have fled back to their Japanese roots and presumably their family make a ton of sense.

Naruto had to know someone who could speak Japanese.  Actually, he probably did.  Kisame could speak it, but he wasn’t even in the country... Itachi and Sasuke had never made a mention if they could, but they were part Japanese, Naruto remembered Sasuke telling him once when they’d discussed their names. 

That's when it hit him.  Hinata knew some Japanese.  She herself was Chinese but to do business deals in Asia, it was best for her to pick up a bit of the other languages, and she had taken 2 years of it in college.

She was also packing and probably irritable, but Naruto called her anyway.

"Are you sure that's what you heard?" Hinata said, once he explained the situation.

"Pretty sure.  I could play it back from my computer too but I think I got it right that time."

"Well, it's just _filthy_!  Why would you call a sex hotline like that?!" She giggled.

"You're kidding," Naruto grimaced, "Please tell me you're kidding."

"I was kidding!  It's just a regular answering machine, silly," Hinata said.

Welp.  There goes his entire trail, stone cold.

Naruto groaned, "Is there nothing more you can tell me?"

"Well, I could try...  The answering machine is for the Hozuki family.  It's funny that you ask, because the Hozuki family I know of owns and operates a large open sea fishing company.  Even though we are in completely different businesses, sometimes we still see them around at fancy get-togethers because they're almost as filthy rich as we are."

"Hozuki family, huh."

Those must be the relatives Jiroubo and Sakon decided to stay with.  Fishing didn't turn big profits, so Sakon, who was the most likely candidate for being in charge of a drug empire, probably cut some sort of deal with them to make them rich.  Wow, okay he was getting closer here.

"So do you think I could just google them or something?"

"Oh, probably," Hinata sounded a little annoyed, "You know, you could've just used google translate?  Anyway, I've got to get going, okay?  Take care of everyone for me. Especially Sakura.  She's panicking a lot about money right now.  Her rent's going to be due sooner than she can afford it.  I wish I could help her but the Yuan to Dollar exchange is more trouble than it'd be worth... Especially since my bank accounts are still a mess from the divorce.  I don't even know how much I have.  Not much, I don't think."

Naruto was in the exact same boat.  He would help Sakura out if he could but the honest truth was that he just couldn't give her anything more.  What had happened to his loan?  Did medical stuff really cost that much?  He'd thought... No, he didn't think.  She hadn't asked him for all she needed.  She'd asked him for all she thought he could give.  He was just going to have to crack this before the end of August, for both their sakes.

He groaned, "Will do, Hinata.  Are Kiba and I still picking you up from the airport?"

"Yes!  I can't wait to see you all again!" She said, "Talk to you soon, Naruto."

Naruto tossed his phone away from him onto the bed and slammed his head into his desk.  Why was tracking down these fuckers so hard?  Why couldn't he just go to the nearest seedy joint and snap a photo that miraculously had them both in it and he'd never have to stress about stupid Jiroubo and Sakon again!

"Fuck," Naruto said, "I'm just gonna have to man up about this."

The rest of the day was spent researching the Hozuki family on Google.  Hinata was right about them being a fishing giant in Japan.  They had two sons, the older one being next in line to inherit the company and the younger one ran off to America for college for some unknown reason.  The family didn't seem to have any visible ties to Jiroubo and Sakon, but Naruto wasn't surprised that they'd kept that under hush-hush.  

That's all Naruto could dredge up on the Internet.  However those tiny morsels of information included something sort of interesting: the youngest son of the Hozuki family was Suigetsu.

Naruto didn't know if he wanted to bash his head in, scream, or rip his hair.  He settled on doing all three.  There were just loops upon loops to jump through, weren't there?!

And of course it was Suigetsu of all people.  He’d have to talk to Sasuke to see if he could come over and talk to him, and that’d just be awkward, considering he was sort of avoiding his boyfriend after the whole scary talk about his crazy world outlook where he dropped like a billion hints that he was involved in some shit he shouldn’t be.

After all, there’s no good reason to sue people who photograph you otherwise.

What if Sasuke was connected to this drug thing somehow?  What if Sasuke worked for the brothers?  There was always that possibility, but Naruto really didn’t want to let any skeletons out of the closet.  He wanted to pretend there was nothing to be worried about, nothing bad hidden away.

Then again, if Sasuke was doing stupid shit like this, maybe it would be better to figure out what was going on and stop him.  Bring him back from whatever dark place he was in.  Naruto was the example of a success story where someone who'd been on the wrong side of the law went to the right one, and he could just show his muse that it was possible to change.  He didn't have to deal out poison to make a living, and he didn't have to be involved with anyone as messed up as the brothers.

Once his mental breakdown ceased, he sent Sasuke a text.

_"think I can come over 2 hang w u n sharkboy sumtime?"_

* * *

Since the fall semester was starting, Sasuke declined anything immediate.  He'd already taken a day off from work for their hospital trip that Naruto was still not excited about for a multitude of reasons, one of which being that Naruto sure as heck didn't feel safe around his boyfriend anymore, but oh well.  Naruto would have to wait until the weekend.  As much as he didn't like it, he decided to fuck going the straight pathway when he could just take the roundabout and bugged Karin into going with him to her tattoo parlor so he could bug her about Suigetsu.  After all, Danzo was getting impatient.

Nothing like your douchebagel boss telling you that you need to deliver some fucking results before he fires your lousy ass to motivate you.

Naruto met Karin out in front of the shop with Starbucks, the iced drinks his peace offering.

"Oooooh!" She grabbed for the iced green tea, "Payment!  I don't air dirty laundry on my roomies without proper bribery, so gimme!"

Naruto passed it to her and laughed as she downed near half of it in a loud slurp.

"You, sir, know how to treat a girl.  What do you want to know about Sasuke?" She waggled her eyebrows.

Shit, nothing, Naruto almost blurted out.  That sort of thing, it felt like it would ruin everything.  Instead, he gulped down his iced tea and smiled in the cheesiest fashion, as if he hadn't just almost choked.

"Uh, actually... It's about Suigetsu," He admitted, motioning to the benches outside of the parlor, "Wanna sit?  We can go inside in a sec."

Karin sat, careful not to sit on her long red mane of hair.  Naruto thought he saw a smidgen of a blush on her cheeks, "Yeah?  What about that lame nerd?"

"You like him!" Naruto exclaimed, before he face palmed, "This might be super awkward to ask then.  Does he ever do stuff, like smoke... or uh...?"

"Weed?" She asked, unimpressed.

"Yeah, drugs."

"He's tried them once or twice and I used to be on them more than I'd like to admit.  But we're both clean, as of a few years.  Why?"

"I was wondering if he was involved with some unsavory people.  His family's home phone was being used as a point of contact for them," Naruto shook his head, "I didn't mean to sound all judgmental."

She laughed, "Don't worry, no drugs here.  I have no clue why a couple of stoners are using Suigetsu's number.  Maybe it's a coincidence?  They got too high to remember their own digits?"

No, he had a feeling that the number was correct.  Naruto just didn't like what it being correct implied about both Suigetsu and Sasuke's involvement with a drug dealing empire.  There was no way it was just a joke or a prank, not when the information fit.  It felt like the logical conclusion, a properly fitting puzzle piece, but he didn't know what it meant.  There was something else he was missing.

"Where's he from anyway?  Suigetsu?  Tell me more about your crush?" Naruto said, trying to phrase it in a way that didn't sound nosy.

Karin shook her head, "Wow, interrogation time!  You can't possibly be thinking of stealing my man, Naruto?"

"What?" Naruto blanched, "No way.  Gross.  He eats sardines on toast."

She cackled, "Calm down, I'm teasing!  Suigetsu's from Japan.  He grew up there until junior high, which is when he, in his own words ‘told his family to fuck off’ so he could go to school in America.  Sasuke and he knew each other in school but it wasn't until his cousin's wedding that Suigetsu basically glued himself to the poor guy's arm, and they've been friends ever since."

"Why was Sasuke at Suigetsu's cousin's wedding?" Naruto raised his eyebrow.

Karin rolled her eyes, "Itachi and Kisame are completely, utterly married, dude."

"Well duh," Naruto said before it hit him, "Kisame is Suigetsu's cousin?  Holy shit!"

"Yeah, on his mother's side," Karin shrugged, her fingers tracing a tattoo on her wrist of a tiny set of numbers, "Dunno much about their relationship but Suigetsu has always been super chill with Kisame and through him, Sasuke and Itachi, since before I met any of them.  They're family, I guess.  Juugo and Suigetsu and Sasuke and me, we're family too, even if those dumb boys piss me off sometimes."

Naruto put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer, “That’s nice.  I’m glad you have them.”

He really was.  Even if he was suspicious of them, they were good to Karin.  Her life was inevitably brightened by their intervention in it. And speaking of her family, Naruto wondered...  Well, he certainly wouldn't learn anything by keeping quiet about his suspicions.  Hoping for the best or at least for it just to be laughed away later as a joke, he finally built up enough courage to mention his suspicions.

He mumbled, "I think you and I are sort of family too."

"Pffft!  Why would you say that?" She poked him in the side and teased, "Are you marrying into the family?  When are you and Sasuke gonna announce your loooooove~!"

Naruto blushed a dirty red and curled in on himself a bit, taking his arms back and crossing them around his stomach.  He grumbled, "No, I mean, my adopted father said my birth mom had a big family, and you look a lot like my mom.  Your hair and your eyes are the same, I think," He loosened up at the thought of his mother and her note, of how wonderful he was sure she had been, and how he was pretty sure that Karin was much the same inside, "I think you both had a similar temperament too."

Karin nibbled on her bottom lip a bit, "Naruto, what was your mom's name?"

"Kushina Uzumaki," he answered, too many emotions in his chest to figure out what he truly felt at the moment.  If he had to sum up the churning whirlwind of them, he'd have said, _'almost hopeful.’_

As soon as the first syllable of his last name slipped from Naruto’s tongue, Karin jumped him and tackle-hugged him so excitedly that he almost toppled over, "We're COUSINS!!"

"We're actually _cousins_?" Naruto repeated numbly, squeezing his arms right around his newly discovered family member.

Karin nodded, her mouth running a mile a minute, "My aunt Kushina died before I ever got to meet her but my dad never stopped telling me stories about her!  Naruto, I'm Karin Uzumaki, I'm your cousin!"

Naruto buried his face in her neck, his eyes burning with emotional, "This is so crazy.  I only sort of thought, but I was never 100% sure... you, you're really my family."

"This is probably the best discovery I've ever had since I figured out how awesome peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches are," she confided in him, her expression dead serious, before she broke out into giggles, "Does this mean you'll intimidate the shit out of my suitors and get all protective and shit?"

"I was going to do that before I knew this," Naruto confessed, "Suigetsu better watch his back.  I'm watching him."

Karin beamed at him, "I can give Sasuke the _'you hurt him and you die'_ speech!  I mean, I had to give it to you too sort of, but eh!"

She’d do that for him?  Naruto really wanted someone to say something like, ‘He’s your boyfriend, dingbat, you should feel safe around him,’ but he just hasn’t.  Not since that phone-call.  Not since Sasuke had let just too many things slip and now it was just so fucking obvious that while his boyfriend knew his entire life, he knew next to nothing about Sasuke and he’d never asked.

Even now he doesn’t know if he wants to know or if he would rather pretend he doesn’t know that Sasuke’s hiding something huge and almost certainly illegal from him.

Naruto hugged her tighter again, and he whispered, "I was alone for so long, wondering what it meant to have a family, wondering why everyone else had this thing I didn't have... but Sakura and Iruka came along and then everyone else and now I have so many people I don't know what to do with myself."

"I was alone too," She murmurs back, "I did stupid shit and I paid for it and I'd given up on anyone being related to me actually caring about me.  I was happy but..."

"But it's so much better now that we know this," Naruto mumbled, "Oh man, I need to introduce you to Iruka.  He's my adopted dad, so he's like your uncle."

"We can have disgusting family dinners together," she smiled against his neck.

"It'll be perfect," he agreed.

* * *

Naruto’s next ingenious plan was to go out to where Suigetsu worked to catch him when his shift got off.  Unfortunately as it turned out, Suigetsu worked at the sketchiest, literally the sketchiest, dive bar in town, located in about the worst sector of Santa Barbara that Naruto had ever driven out to.  The things he does for his job, the things he does as an investigator--!  There are no lengths to which he will not go, except for actually entering the dive bar.

Naruto has a feeling that the place probably has chlamydia ingrained in their counter tops.  Probably.

Instead he’s decided to wait outside.  He has it on good sources (Karin, it was definitely Karin, who was definitely his cousin, wow) that Suigetsu got off at 2:30 AM.  Meaning, ten minutes from now.  He just had to sit outside, in the cold, waiting with a puffy jacket pulled straight out of the 90’s wrapped tight around him to keep what warmth he could generate inside of himself.

He exhaled, his breath going foggy upon meeting the air.

Okay, he thought, it was just a chilly evening.  The world wasn’t ending, even if it felt like it should be.  He was still definitely alive.  His boyfriend, the love of his life, was probably involved in something illegal.  His boyfriend’s friend could be working for a drug empire.  His newly found cousin wanted to date said boyfriend’s friend.  His best friend was 4 months pregnant, and his ex-girlfriend was moving back from China.  His roommate wanted to date said ex-girlfriend.  None of those things meant the world was ending.

Naruto could just force Sasuke and Suigetsu to get out of their weird illegal business, show them that living life the straight way was possible.  He wanted to think that, at least, but his situation and theirs were different.  He was a minor when all his legal bullshit went down, so he got pardoned most of his stupid shit.  He didn’t even end up in juvie, but he did end up on probation, with Iruka as his probation officer.  Naruto had been too stupid to really understand most of the legal garble back then, and he still probably was.  Saying that Sasuke and Suigetsu would just get off like he did with barely any punishment was like saying that aliens were green.  He just didn’t know or have the resources to really find out.

He couldn’t just not try to lead them back to the right path.  Especially Sasuke.  He had too much talent, too much potential, to just be left to wither away in the dark. 

Naruto knew his muse was a good person.  He’d seen it underneath all the other layers of Sasuke, and he’d always seen it.  It had been so easy to fall for him because Naruto just knew that he’d found a kindred soul, someone who could understand him and that he could understand in turn.

Shit, Naruto thought, he hated this.  He hoped it turned out that he was wrong all along.  Sasuke would just be hiding some funny secret, like he had an overzealous fanclub during school or something, or that Itachi was an organ harvester (why did he find that funny?  He blamed Invader Zim entirely for that predicament).  And Suigetsu would tell him that he had no clue about the whole drug thing, or that his family had been blackmailed into helping them, and that they weren’t really involved at all.

And then his case would be stone cold, Naruto moaned, muffling the noise with his hands.  He’d told Danzou he wasn’t a detective, and yet look at him go.  All detective-like up in this bitch.  He was legitimately chasing leads.  When had he become Nancy Drew?  Urgh, bad detective reference, he’d much rather be Sherlock.  Eccentric, handsome, totally gay for Watson.  Yup, he was much more like Sherlock.

A noise caught his attention, sort of like a shuffling or someone dragging their feet.  Naruto glanced around, but he didn’t see anything but the dive bar and the surrounding alleyways.

His car was locked, he could just... wander away from it for a bit and check out the alleyways.  Maybe Suigetsu would sneak out a back door or something, and he didn’t want to miss him.  Not after staying out here this late.

Naruto double-checked his locks, then ducked into the alley way beside the restaurant.  He could hear another sound, this time more like a muffled conversation, coming from down this direction.  He ended up hitting a conjoined alley, and peering down that way.

It was a good thing too, as the noise he was hearing cleared up into words.

“Ya heard boss!  All this meth ain’t gonna sell itself,” Someone said, and their voice had a distinct Texan twang to it.  Naruto gulped, trying to keep as quiet as possible.  He’d been looking, and he inadvertently found the very same druggies he was trying to ask Suigetsu about.

Someone else, a different, more feminine voice, replied, “He’ll kill you rats if you don’t sell it all by the end of the week.  We don’t pay betrayers, and we don’t pay thieves.  Steal from our stores again and say you sold it, and we’ll show you what you bought with your lies.”

Shit, they were threatening to kill someone.  Naruto reached into his pocket, his fingers grasping for the rigid outline of his phone, his hands shaking.  He had to call 911.

“We heard ya,” another one grumbled, “Fucking bitch.”

Naruto winced as he heard the sound of a collision, followed by a high-pitched wheeze of pain.

Okay, fun alley adventure over.  He was leaving.  Fuck calling 911.  He’d call 911 when he was back in his car, heading home, safe.  When he was safe, safe, safe, anywhere but here which was definitely not safe.

He held his breath as he tried to stand up, his legs shaking.

 _Come on_ , he thought.

“You think you can just push us around like this?  We’re your monkeys but we need a little something every once in a while!  I need a hit, you stupid whore, where am I going to get a hit?!”

A crack-boom sounded, just quiet enough that he could keep himself from jumping and giving away his position.  He saw blood splatter on the ground near his feet, from just around the corner.  Fresh blood.  The enraged sound of horror coming from the other drug dealer's mouth covered up Naruto's squeak of horror.  And as it sunk in what he'd just hear, Naruto had to cover his mouth to hold in a sob as he processed that he'd heard a gunshot.  Someone had just died around the corner. 

Why was he still standing here?  Fuck, why was he even down this alley?  He definitely didn’t get good enough workman’s comp to deal with the fact he might be murdered if the drug dealers find him hiding behind a corner, eavesdropping!

He turned back the other way, tiptoeing as best as he could given the situation, all the way back around to the front of the building.

It was 2:49.  He’d already missed Suigetsu, not that he really wanted to see him at the moment.  The fact that Suigetsu might know about the drug empire, _might be part of it,_ it made him sick.  How could he work for people willing to... kill?  He'd gotten just a little bit mouthy and then bang and he was the blood that Naruto was sure would never leave his nightmares.  Anyone willing to do something like that... they were truly terrible.

Naruto climbed into his car, and drove off, tears dripping down his chin.  Fuck, what had he gotten himself into?  Things had only gone downhill since he’d tried to get an ‘in’ with Danzo.  Danzo had been using him because he was expendable and convenient, and there was no way what he was doing was entirely legal.  He should have investigators or reporters finding this shit out, and then they should send him the details of when or where to go to get a good photo of one of those stupid, fucking, evil brothers.

Now that he no longer felt like he was about to die, Naruto pulled out his cellphone and dialed 911.  He didn’t hit the call button.  It felt like he was already way too late, and then he’d just be bothering someone.  His head hurt, he was just choked up, and he just couldn’t hit the button.  He couldn’t call.  What if the brothers found out and had him killed for snitching?  What if they went after his friends because he told the police?  What if the police accused him of murder because he'd been a sort of witness?  Naruto just couldn't call.  Someone else could call.  He just couldn't.

Instead, he crawled into bed, pulled the covers up, and decided that tomorrow was definitely going to be a sick day.  Jiraiya’s photo booth would just have to survive without him.

Naruto didn’t manage to call 911.  Nor did he manage to sleep, too filled with guilt that he couldn’t do either.

* * *

In the end, Naruto had to wait until the weekend to talk to Suigetsu.  They'd been playing Left 4 Dead 2 (meaning: watching Sasuke kill all the witches like the crazy bastard he was while Suigetsu bitched about him sniping his butt with friendly fire on purpose) when Naruto finally jabbed Suigetsu in the arm and told him, "Mind if we talk?"

"This about Karin?" Suigetsu snickered, firing a couple digital shots towards Sasuke's supposed location.  No one knew with him.

Sasuke suddenly started smirking.  Suigetsu groaned.  The witch sounds were approaching quick, and the choked rasp of a smoker was nearby.  The battle was going to be intense.

It sort of made him feel sick, which is why he’d given up his controller to Sasuke for the time being.  Nothing like actually hearing a guy get shot to deter you from first person shooter games.  And by deter, Naruto meant that he could barely be in the same room as this without feeling ill, and he was doing his best to ignore the fake gun-sounds by filling up most of the background noise with endless boring chatter.

"Uh," Naruto paused until it looked like Suigetsu had escaped imminent video game doom, "Not really but it is important.  And private."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, "Too private for me to eavesdrop in on?"

Hell, there was no way he was letting Sasuke overhear anything he wanted to ask Suigetsu, especially if either of them were involved with the fucking drug bullshit.  If it came down to a fight... well, Naruto didn’t favor his chances against just Sasuke, but with Suigetsu to back him up...

God, what was his life that he was suspicious of his own boyfriend and he thought his friends would turn on him and beat him up?

"Basically," Naruto made a shooing gesture, "So would you mind?  It's just for a bit.  Promise I won't let your character die."

Sasuke sighed and handed over his controller.  Before he completely left the couch however, he whispered into Naruto's ear, "Snipe him for me.  You owe me a good headshot."

He wanted to protest that he didn't owe Sasuke shit because he was a secretive bastard who was probably dealing drugs on the side and maybe had killed someone because apparently that was now par for the course when it comes to drug dealing, but instead Naruto had to play the part Sasuke expected of him.  He didn't want to give anything away, and he didn't want anyone to suspect that he was suspecting them.  He really didn't want Sasuke to be let on to the fact that he was about to interrogate Suigetsu about his drug bullshit.

Naruto snorted as was expected of him, pulling his boyfriend down for a quick kiss.   "Thanks."

His stomach twisted, and he did the best he could to avoid letting it show on his face.  Fuck.

A couple more steps, the click of a door closing, and then they were alone.  Finally, Naruto thought, before biting his lip.  He was being such a dick if he was wrong.  And if he was right, he was already way too deep...  Fuck, fuck, fuck—why was this all so messed up?  The blond was this close to braining himself with the Xbox controller rather than any zombies.

"Dude, concentrate, you almost hit me," Suigetsu scoffed.

"Whoops?  Whatever, you were doing fine when Sasuke was outright shooting at you from the sidelines, you can survive a bad shot or three," Naruto had to admit he was just sort of button mashing at this point, not wanting to actually think about the game at all, "Anyway I wanted to ask you about your family.  Like, your parents and stuff."

Suigetsu made a strangled sort of noise, "You wanted to ask me about the 'rents?!"

"Sorry if that's weird," He said, aiming carefully at one of the zombies, then abruptly turning his character and sniping Suigetsu.  Sasuke had wanted a headshot so by fuck, Naruto was going to get at least one.  Plus if Suigetsu was a drug dealer, it was like sort of deserved?  That sort of lack of respect for life was unforgivable.  Unforgivable things meant that Naruto didn’t care if he was being a mean sport in Left 4 Dead 2 of all things.

"Yeah, it sorta is.  But it's not like it's confidential, level 10 friend only or whatever, so yeah, I can give you a lowdown," the college student said, "My mom's name is Ayumo Hozuki and my dad's is Urahara Hozuki.  They're quite happily married, and they both run this big fish company in Japan."

"My friend Hinata said they were crazy loaded," Naruto muttered, "Fuck, stop stealing my kills."

"Git gud, loser," Suigetsu cackled.

"So what's the deal there?"

"Where?  You asking why my parents are filthy rich?"

"Yep.  Fishing shouldn't reel in such a big catch."

"Ha.  Ha.  Very punny, I 'sea' what you did there," Suigetsu shrugged, "Truthfully?  A lot of it is well planned finances and good luck.  The rest is because they've got their hands in a bunch of different pots.  Stock market, for example.  It's a cobbled sort of fortune they scrounge up from their various enterprises."

"Huh..." Naruto muttered, "And all that is legal."

He shrugged, "Enough of it is that I sleep well at night."

"That sounds like it's not all legal."

"Weeeeeell," Suigetsu grinned, all teeth and viciousness, "Any business claiming to be all good is full of shit."

"What sort of not legal stuff do your parents dabble in?"

"Mislabeling is part of it," Suigetsu shot up a swarm of zombies before switching to using a sword, "There's also some hazardous material involved.  Bad contraband, if you catch my drift."

Naruto caught his drift immediately, mostly because he'd been prodding in hopes of getting that exact confession.  The Hozuki family dabbled in drugs.  They were connected to the drug empire via contact information, and probably more.

Suigetsu was a friend.  Naruto shouldn’t feel this sick satisfaction at catching him in the act (or his family, rather, but still) and he definitely shouldn’t start jumping to any conclusions, but he was.  He couldn’t believe Suigetsu could profit off of the pain of so many other people with a clean conscious, but he’d said it himself.

And if Suigetsu was involved, then Sasuke was as well.  There was no way that there would be two different illegal factors in the same fucking dorm suite, there just wasn’t.

But how exactly was Sasuke involved?  Suigetsu clearly must know Sakon and Jiroubo, must be the connect between the drug empire fueling his family’s fishing company and keeping them loaded.  Where did Sasuke, Suigetsu’s orphan friend, play in?

Orphan... 

The puzzle completed itself in Naruto's mind.

Sakon and Jiroubo were orphans just like Sasuke and Itachi, each the same age.  Their parents died when they were young just like Itachi and Sasuke’s.  They had grown up around cameras, being the children of superstars, just like Sasuke had eluded to.  And there were no pictures of them taken after... that point, just like how there were no pictures of Sasuke and Itachi.  Except for The Photo.

There was just... no way, but it was also really... really obvious.

**_Sasuke and Itachi Hoshigaki were the Uchiha brothers._ **


	16. Parallax

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well while I hate writing in the notes that I don't like certain chapters, I just don't want you guys to get your hopes up. I know I've already disappointed a lot of people by the direction that this fic took, and even if I had always known the plot, I understand that I executed it poorly. I really should have written in more hints or something, done more foreshadowing. It's funny what you can see in retrospect as an author. So I'm very sorry that I've disappointed everyone, and I will do my best to wrap this up in a quick and concise way that will hopefully not frustrate anyone any further.

It was impossible to focus now, knowing what he did.  Sasuke and Itachi were the Uchiha brothers, and all of Naruto’s bad feelings about Sasuke were confirmed in just that one fact.  He’d heard a man get shot in the name of the Uchiha drug empire.  He’d probably heard a man die in that name as well.  And he’d been dating one of them, this whole time.

His character onscreen got viciously eaten by zombies as he stared off into space, not moving his thumbs or his eyes from the digital carnage, pixel blood splattering all over and his health bar flashing.

What a metaphor for his _fucking life._

“The fuck, man!  You’re so off your game tonight!” Suigetsu complained as he ran over to revive Naruto’s character with the miracle of bandage packs.

Naruto put his controller down on the coffee table and said slowly, to keep his voice from wavering, “Uh, I feel a stress headache coming on.  Can you tell Sasuke I’m sorry for ditching him?  I gotta go sleep this off.  I feel like shit.”

Suigetsu paused the game, “Seriously?  You didn’t even get around to the important thing you wanted to talk to me about.  We just bullshitted around about my parents.”

“Exactly,” Naruto lied through his teeth, “I was vetting you for Karin, you know?  Cousinly duties.  Anyway I really gotta go before I like, vomit on your couch.”

The worst part was that Naruto really did feel like he was at risk of vomiting on their couch, and it definitely wasn’t because he had a headache.  He just... he had to leave.  He had to go.  He’d never thought when he’d taken a single photo of just someone standing up on that cliff with the sunset in the background that he’d signed himself up for the crazy train.  He wanted off, now, please and thank you.  He wanted an express ticket back to regular town.

“I’m really ill, I’m not kidding.  Like chunks will blow everywhere and it will suck,” Naruto added, just for extra emphasis so Suigetsu knew he wasn’t kidding around.

Suigetsu stared at him like _he_ was the crazy train, “Why don’t I buy that excuse?”

Naruto bit his lip.  Shit.

He stood up and pulled his jacket on frantically, his breathing speeding up against his will, “I really gotta go, it might be contagious.”

“Bullshit!  You’re totally trying to ditch us early and making up bullshit... but you know what?  Whatever.  You’re lucky that I don’t care enough to snoop.  But you get to tell Sasuke you’re ditching us after banishing him to his room,” Suigetsu rolled his eyes.

“No, you don’t get it!  I feel really sick, I mean it!  So I have to leave!” Naruto grabbed his bag from the floor and started heading for the door.

Suigetsu called after him, “Hey, wait, if you really feel that shitty, you should stay.  I’ll make you some tea and get you Tylenol or something.  You shouldn’t drive back if you’re actually sick.”

Naruto looked back, and his first thought was, ‘but would it actually be Tylenol?’ and it was such a horrible, petty thought that he felt so ashamed and guilty his gut clenched and he really did feel sick.  Seizing the chance like he’d never even heard Suigetsu speak, Naruto literally bolted out of his boyfriend’s dorm as fast as his legs would go.  He swore he could hear Suigetsu cursing after him. 

As fast as he could manage, he was down the stairs and in his car.  He could see Sasuke open the door, his slim figure back-lit with yellow as he stared after Naruto.  It was really photogenic, Naruto thought, but wasn’t that how he got into this mess in the first place?  He’d fallen for a pretty face and then his whole life had been turned upside down until it all fell apart, like a badly flipped pancake with batter flung all over the walls and the ceiling because damn he just couldn’t keep himself together.

Naruto felt like he wanted to puke.  He’d been so worried about losing Sasuke just a week ago and now he was running away from him on purpose, looking up at his worried face and feeling a whirlwind of sadness and guilt and this desire to change him so strong it hurt.  He felt a little bit like Juliet; Sasuke, Sasuke, wherefore art thou a druglord?  But he wasn’t Juliet and he wasn’t going to kill himself for love, especially since it seemed like his subconscious made him fall in love with the worst person possible.

Naruto pulled his car out of park and started to back up, finally tearing his eyes away from Sasuke's silhouette.  It really was better for him to just leave now, to get away from this toxic situation.  It’s no good to be scared of someone you love.

The whole drive home, Naruto’s knuckles were clenched white on his steering wheel.  The streets weren’t busy, the traffic was oddly nice, and it wasn’t even cloudy; he felt like he should be living through something like in the Princess Diaries when Mia’s running from her destiny and her car breaks down in the rain. 

Naruto worried his bottom lip between his teeth.  He didn’t want to go back and deal with Kiba.  He didn’t want to be in Santa Barbara anymore.  He wanted to be somewhere that he didn’t associate with Sasuke at all.  It was like the whole city was polluted by memories of Sasuke, treasured, sick, messed up, precious memories of the best times of his life.  So as he got close to the turn off for his apartment, he turned the opposite direction and onto the highway instead.

* * *

The drive to Sacramento was an abrupt decision, so Naruto had to stop for gas in some dinky little place that probably got two customers a year and pay an arm and a leg to fill up his tank.  And the road itself was longer than he remembered it being, even more so than last time he'd driven up because of an emergency.  But maybe that was because his thoughts wouldn’t stop racing in his head, like an endless treadmill of emotions that kept tripping him up as every mile passed by.

What if he was wrong?  There was no telling that Sasuke was really Sakon and that it wasn't just some hilarious coincidence.

But even their names were fucking similar!  There was no way he was wrong, and he'd known something was up as soon as things started adding up in his head.  He'd been apprehensive to Sasuke ever since he started being careless with his hints about his identity.  Sakon and Sasuke had identical pasts; their whole lives matched up, all the way down to the fact that Sasuke had known exactly how to handle Kurama, seeing as the fox had belonged to Sasuke’s deceased relative. 

Since Danzo had given him this assignment, Naruto had known it was a mess.  But the mess had started long before then, really.  Ever since Sasuke and he had their first conversation, there had been hints everywhere.

_"You took a photo of me? ...Where? When? Why? ...I will accept that your intentions are innocent. I won't sue you, out of the sheer kindness of my heart. Destroy that photo and we'll be even."_

_“Youve been stalking me.”_

_"Why do you have a photo of my roommate? I thought, like, he'd have given you the 'photograph me and die' speech!"_

_“He doesn't like a lot of people. He likes Juugo, Karin, and I and he adores his big brother, but everyone else is damn near pointless as roadkill to him."_

_“He doesn't tolerate anyone with a camera anywhere near him.  He made all of us sign legal documents stating that we'll be fined $500 if we so much as threaten to photograph him.  Just...take it as a sign that he trusts you!”_

_“...the most important thing in my life will always be myself.”_

_“A pet of this high uppity up richie.  When he kicked the bucket, the thing was supposed to go to his nephew.  Turns out his nephew is also dead.  There's other remaining family but no one knows where they are and there's a whole pile of legal pussyfooting just for one fox, so the govies gave him here.  The old guy didn't live in this area, was some sort of recluse, but this was the closest animal shelter anyway.”_

_“I don’t trust your kind.”_

_“I’m tired of being scared of people.”_

_“Any pictures of myself are to be deleted instantly, or I will sue.”_

_"Itachi and Sasuke hate public displays.  In fact, Sasuke hates public anything,"_

His own words from earlier haunted him.  _The younger one is more likely to be the culprit._

Fuck, Naruto thought, gritting his teeth as his eyes teared up.  How had he fucked this up so bad?

He was dating a drug emperor. 

_It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of you as long as you get what you want._

A completely remorseless drug dealer.

The worst part was that Naruto was still in love with him. 

Clearly he wasn’t any kind of perfect, that illusion had long been shattered, but Sasuke was still the person who held university honors, who always had a rude quip ready on his tongue, who could be kind when he wanted to, whose smile lit up Naruto’s world.  Naruto still loved him, but now it just hurt.

Had anything they had been real?  Did Sasuke ever feel anything for him?  Or was it all just some plot Sasuke had to keep Naruto from running off with photographic evidence of him to the cops?

Naruto really wanted this all to be a misunderstanding.

It was thoughts like these that filled up his head the whole drive until he was standing on Iruka’s porch, alone, lost, miserable inside.  It really shouldn’t have surprised him that he’d taken himself back here, to the first place he’d ever called him and the one person he knew would listen without judging him.

He knocked twice, and even though it must’ve been 4 o’clock in the morning, his foster father opened the door.

Naruto must’ve been a sight, red-tear streaked cheeks and swollen eyes, trembling legs, his voice cracking as he tried to say hello.

Iruka opened the door, and said simply, “I’ll call in sick tomorrow.”

* * *

Thank god for Iruka.

Naruto tugged his blankets tighter around him, shifted his head on his foster father’s chest, and mumbled, “I must’ve done something really really great to deserve you.”

“Nah,” Iruka said, stroking his hair down, “You’re just my kiddo.  That’s all you needed to do.”

He smiled shakily, “Thank you, really, so much.  For everything.”

His old teacher began humming something Naruto vaguely remembered from when he used to get night terrors and Iruka would sing to him.  It was soothing, except that he sort of felt like he was living a night terror and he definitely couldn’t wake up from it.

“What do you think I should do?” Naruto asked.

“About what?” Iruka asked.

“Should I give The Photo to Danzo and just take the money for Sakura and myself?” Naruto clarified, “Or should I confront Sasuke about it and see, really see, if what I think is right first?  Or should I just quit, move back up here, and pretend to all of my friends down there that I died, with the only exception being Sakura?”

Iruka snorted, “I wouldn’t suggest the last one.  Running away from these sorts of problems is probably not your best bet.  You wouldn’t want to break all your precious bonds just because you dated a boy with dubious connections.”

Iruka was right, of course.  Naruto inhaled deeply, and blew it all out so that it ruffled his bangs.

Kiba, Ino, Hinata, Karin, Juugo, hell, even Kakashi and Jiraiya; they were people that he really would rather stuck around in his life.  Even though he didn’t know where he stood with Sasuke and Suigetsu, he didn’t really want to lose them either.  Suigetsu was his friend.  And Sasuke was... well.  Naruto knew exactly how much Sasuke meant to him.  Even if he felt like he hated them, he still wanted to get back that past where they weren’t part of a drug empire that just kills people without remorse.

“Still, I would be cautious in confronting Sasuke about his potential heritage,” Iruka said, the corners of his mouth tugging downwards, “If you are right, then he’s a very dangerous man.  However, if he is a very dangerous man, he also knows who took that photo of him.  If you turn that in to Danzo or the police, he will know to come after you.”

Naruto whined, squeezing his eyes shut.  He hated thinking about this.

His foster father pet his head again, “Either way, whatever you decide to do with this knowledge, it is your choice.  I just want whatever will make you the most comfortable.  You’ve been through too much to have to suffer again, Naruto.”

“I don’t know what I want,” the blond answered.

“You have time to think on it.  You have as long as you want.  Some opportunities may pass if you don’t act soon, but you don’t have to rush this decision.”

Naruto took a deep breath, “Okay.”

He would think about it.  He probably would decide to do something stupid, he thought, but doing nothing was worse than doing something wrong.  If he did nothing, then more people would die, whether they were shot or if they were just wasted away by chemicals in their blood that destroyed them from the inside out.

The thought however, pervasive and painful, of Sasuke being handcuffed and taken off to jail, the police shoving him around and bruising him and the whole world hating him and watching him while he suffered...  Unless Sasuke really was a remorseless killer, then Naruto could never do that to him, not for any amount of money in the world.  Not for any job or any friend.  Nothing could make him do that to someone he loved.  And if he was wrong... he didn’t know how he’d live with himself, having put Sasuke through that.

Sasuke was a person he loved more than he loved himself, and nothing about this situation changed that.

“I think I’ll talk to Sasuke.  And if he gives me some sort of indication that he’s truly this evil person, then... well, I’ll give the photo to Danzo,” Naruto said quietly, “That way, at least, I can help Sakura out with her bills.  I’d quit, of course, I don’t want another thing to do with that slimeball, but I’m not exactly swimming in funds anymore.  It’s morally right to expose that sort of thing to the world to make it stop.  Even if... even if it means Sasuke’ll get hurt.”

Iruka stroked back his hair, a sad smile on his lips, “You’ve had to make a difficult call.  I hope you’ve made the right decision.”

Naruto looked up at him, “I should text him, arrange a meeting or something.”

Iruka nodded, “Do what you feel is right.”

“I don’t feel like anything I do is right...” He admitted in a small voice.

Still, he picked up his phone, his thumb hovering over Sasuke’s name.  He’d have to start somewhere.  Sending him a text was the next logical step.

All he could manage to send however, after a couple failed attempts of something more substantial, was the name _"Sakon Uchiha"_.  If Sasuke connected the dots, then he’d know that Naruto knew, and would respond accordingly, although Naruto wasn’t sure if a response meant him getting shot in his adopted father’s home, or if knowing meant that Sasuke would disappear forever into the darkness and no one would know where he went.  And if Sasuke didn’t know, he expected that he would get a text that said, “What the fuck?”

Instead, Naruto got this:

_"We need to talk."_

If that wasn’t the vaguest response Naruto had ever gotten to something.  Although, he suspected that Sasuke had replied that way because his own text had been so vague.

So he replied in an equally vague way: _"I know."_

/meet me at the outcropping where you first saw me, 8 o’clock on Monday./

Well, if Naruto had plans for that time, they were now gone in favor of this.

“I guess I’m driving back then,” Naruto said, leaning into Iruka’s side.

“You’re not going to go alone,” Iruka answered, “My kids can take a substitute for another couple days.  It’s a long weekend anyway.”

“It is?” Naruto asked.

“Labor day weekend is next weekend, Naruto.  My kids won’t miss me.  They love watching nature documentaries and Bill Nye the Science Guy.”

“Bill Nye was the bomb.  You still show him?” Naruto laughed, “Holy fuck, blast from the past.”

Iruka ruffled his hair, “You’re looking more like yourself every second.”

Naruto tried to keep the smile on his face genuine, and failed, “Well, knowing what I need to be doing I guess makes it easier to feel comfortable.  I usually do everything spontaneously, but I feel like if I’d been spontaneous about this, I’d be in Danzo’s office right now signing away my boyfriend’s life for petty cash.  You’re always the one who keeps me from being stupid, Iruka.  I owe you for that.”

“That’s what adopted fathers are for, kiddo,” Iruka sighed, “You don’t owe me anything.  I do what I do because I love you.”

“I love you too,” Naruto sniffled, a smile stretching across his cheeks, “By the way, did I tell you I have a cousin?”

* * *

Iruka was very fond of self-help audiobooks, and he stocked up on two of them before the trip, to Naruto’s consternation.

“I fucking hate those things, keep that sacrilege out of my vehicle,” Naruto whined as Iruka ignored him and put the CD into the car’s player anyway.

Iruka fiddled with the volume until it reached too-loud-to-ignore, and simply smiled, “It’s too bad you don’t pay more attention to these.  I find that they help me become a better instructor and a better person.”

“They’re too fucking preachy,” Naruto growled, “I live my life in a perfectly fine way, I’ll have you know.”

“But what if you could live that life in a better way?” Iruka raised his eyebrows up and down suggestively.

Naruto was this close to making his adopted dad stay at home and stop tormenting him, but actually he found that Iruka’s presence helped him stay cheerful and keep his thoughts off of the whole Sasuke mess.  It kept him from being a nervous wreck, basically, and that was something he admitted he needed if he didn’t want to be flat as a pancake with his brains smeared all over the highway.

Iruka made him listen to half of a stupid book about dealing with betrayal before Naruto gave up on being paitent with it and turned off the stereo entirely.

“I get what you’re trying to do, but it’s not actually helping,” Naruto said.

Iruka took a deep breath, patient as always, “I know.  It was a long shot to hope that you’d actually learn something from it.  Remember, one of the tips is that talking it out helps you deal with the feeling of being betrayed.  I’m always here to listen, kiddo.”

Naruto groaned, “I know already!  God.  What happened between Sasuke and I is this huge thing that I’m fucking confused about, okay?  I don’t even know where to start talking about it because I don’t even know how I feel!”

“Maybe you can start with what you want to verify about him?” Iruka offered helpfully.

“Like, oh Sasuke!  Do you happen to run a drug empire?” Naruto rolled his eyes, his temper flaring as some asshole Toyota started to ride his ass.  They were going 70 mph, didn’t that jerk know that he was already 5 mph above the speedlimit?

His adopted father agreed, “Yes.  Like that.  What happens if he says yes?  How would it make you feel?”

“Are you trying to sound like a therapist?”

“Potentially.”

“Well the answer is that I’d feel pretty terrible,” Naruto said, “Sasuke’s my boyfriend.  I love him.  I wanted to have him in my life in whatever way he’d let me.  And he was letting me in before all this happened.  But if he is the sort of person to hurt other people so easily, to break the law like that, then he isn’t the person I thought he was.  And if I have the means to stop him from hurting other people, I’d use them.  Even if it meant he’d never forgive me.”

“Sometimes I forget what a mature person you’ve grown into, Naruto,” Iruka said.  “Despite your personal feelings for him, it’s noble that you still want to do the right thing.”

“It wouldn’t be noble at all.  It’d just be revenge.  I was scared of him at first, before I figured out what he was hiding, and even after, but... but that fear, it’s more like anger now.  I was scared of him because I thought he could hurt me and the people I love, but I do have power over him,” Naruto gritted his teeth, guilt burning in his stomach, “I can use The Photo to hurt him.  If he really is Sakon Uchiha, then he was using me and lying to me, so I’d want to give him back all of that pain on a platter.  I’d want to hurt him back and The Photo would be my weapon of choice.”

Iruka looked pensive for a moment, “That doesn’t make it any less noble that you’d want to stop him.  What you decided to do here, it just shows me how much you’ve grown as a person since you were with me last.”

Naruto pressed down on the breaks, purposefully trying to piss off the asshole riding his tail.  There was another fucking lane, couldn’t the dickhead just go around him?  The issue took enough of his concentration that he forgot to reply.

Iruka cleared his throat.

“I’m not sure if I know what you mean,” Naruto said softly, turning his thoughts back to the conversation.

“You used to be much more impulsive,” Iruka explained, but his voice didn’t sound very teacherly, at the moment.  “Always running off to try and fix things but you never have a plan, and if you do, they usually aren’t well thought out.  But this time, you’ve taken a different approach.  I think you’re doing the right thing.”

Naruto felt his breath catch in his throat, and he shook his head, “Iruka, no.  This whole situation is just as impulsive as everything else I’ve ever done.”

“I beg to differ,” Iruka laid his hand on Naruto’s shoulder, “I’m proud of the choice you made here.”

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Naruto’s hands shook on the steering wheel, “Oh god, please.  What if I do the wrong thing?”

Iruka squeezed his shoulder, his hand warm and supportive and probably the only reason Naruto didn’t just pull over and cry for a few more hours.  He was such a mess, god, how had he let things get this bad?

What was he going to even say once he looked Sasuke in the face, once again?

* * *

The drive didn’t seem long enough when Naruto pulled into the parking lot for his apartment complex.  His usual spot, right next to Kiba’s clunky piece o’ junk, was taken by a streamlined silver sports car.  As he parked next to it, in his neighbor’s typical spot, he swore the car was something he’d seen before. 

“Something wrong?” Iruka asked, as Naruto watched the silver car turn on, back up, and drive out of the lot.

“I guess Kiba had a guest,” Naruto replied, shaking his head.  “Let’s go.”

The two of them made their way inside after a few seconds because Naruto’s hand kept slipping as he tried to insert the key.  Their apartment was pleasantly cool compared to the sauna of the air outside, and it was also oddly clean.

Naruto called out, “Kiba?”

Kiba came out of the bedroom, looking disgruntled.  He ran his hand through his wild brown hair before accusing, “Dude, where the hell were you?”

“Went home for a bit,” Naruto rolled his eyes, toeing his shoes off at the entry way, “B-t-dubs, this is my adopted father, Iruka.  He’s gonna be sleeping on our couch over the long weekend.”

Kiba choked, “DUDE!  You couldn’t have asked me first?  Sent a text?  Ugh, not cool.  Whatever, it’s fine if he doesn’t mind cuddling up with Akamaru, I guess.  It’s nice to meet you, Naruto’s Dad.”

“Please, call me Iruka.  I insisted, rather last minute, to come along.  My apologies.”

“Nah, it’s cool.  I just would’ve appreciated a heads up.  I’ve already been freaking out about Naruto here going missing.  Did you know?  Naruto, everyone’s been looking for you since you left!  Literally everyone!  Your boss was just here, like, five minutes ago!”

Naruto’s blood turned to ice, “He was?”

Kiba nodded, making his way around the kitchen, “Yeah.  Wanted to know if you had any new pictures for him or any new work at all.  Wanted a picture of some dude whose name started with an ‘S’.  I just told him to look through your stash to see if he could find what he was looking for because you weren’t here and he looked just about ready to fire you.  I guess he found what he wanted though because he walked out with one of your photos and left you like, a $10,000 check on the counter.”

Naruto stared incredulously at Kiba, “He found what he wanted?”

“Yeah, he took that one photo you showed me, you know?” Kiba picked up the bread, “Hey, do you know if this is still good?”

Iruka winced, “I’d say no, considering the mold.”

They hadn’t bought bread for a while, Naruto remembered.  And then it clicked; Kiba must’ve been referring to...

“Wait,” Naruto demanded, “You’re saying my boss took The Photo?”

“He took one of ‘em, at least,” Kiba shrugged, “You got paid.  Enough for Sakura’s bills _and_ your rent.  Shouldn’t you be happy?”

“You let my boss walk out with a picture of my boyfriend?!” Naruto was torn between screaming and punching a wall.  Or punching his roommate.  Even though he knew Kiba hadn’t meant any harm, he might’ve ruined everything.

“When you put it that way, it sounds bad!” Kiba shook his head, “Sorry, okay.  I don’t even know why he wanted it.  I just thought I was saving your job, okay?”

“We understand,” Iruka said solemnly, “But that doesn’t mean that we aren’t in somewhat of a sticky situation now.”

Kiba pursed his lips, “And what would that situation be?”

The half-hour it took to explain everything to Kiba was the most exhausting hour of Naruto’s life.  And once he truly understood, all Kiba could say was, “I’m so fucking sorry.”

Iruka once again was the voice of reason, “It’s fine.  We just need to figure out what to do now that our bargaining chip has been taken and Naruto’s life placed in jeopardy.”

Naruto knew, though.  He knew exactly what he was going to do.

“I promised to meet Sasuke,” He said, “So I am.  We’ll fix this.”

* * *

So maybe Naruto had been bluffing when he said he knew what he was going to do because he now that he was here, he had no idea what to actually say.  There was no way it could be as easy as Iruka had made it sound in the car, not when Naruto had literally had his bargaining material ripped right out of his hands.

Naruto sat on a bench next to one of those view cameras, the ones that let you zoom in if you put in a quarter.  He was almost tempted to do it, but he didn't have any quarters ready.  Really, the important things only strike Naruto in retrospect.  Without any distractions, his stomach churned and his legs trembled but he was otherwise the perfect vision of outer peace.  He had felt so physically sick the last few days that now he was just numb.  His body couldn’t feel nauseous anymore because he’d felt nauseous way too often lately for something as simple as nerves to make his body act up now.

And that numbness was probably the only reason he didn’t jump right out of his seat as Sasuke sat down next to him, his dark eyes unreadable and his long legs held carefully out of the way so that none of them were touching despite the lack of space on the bench.

When Naruto didn’t speak up, his voice caught in his throat, Sasuke cleared his throat.  He crossed his arms, curling in on himself a bit, and said simply, “So you know.”

“I don’t actually know if I do,” Naruto replied, “Because what I think I know may be completely wrong, and I need you to tell me what the truth is.”

Sasuke groaned, “Fucking hell.  I never wanted to have this conversation.  I don’t even know what you think you know, so I have no clue where to even start.”

“Start by telling me who your parents were,” Naruto said, and then shook his head, “Well, I don’t actually care who your parents were, but I want to know who your parents were because then I know who you are.”

“Who I am isn’t defined by who my parents were,” Sasuke hissed, “Fine, I’ll say what you want to hear—Fugaku and Mikoto Uchiha were my parents.  I was a celebrity baby.  They killed themselves.  Are we done here?”

He wasn’t surprised that he’d been right but he was very, very crushingly disappointed in both Sasuke for being who he was and at himself for still holding onto that tiny ounce of hope.  Naruto took in a shuddering breath, “I’d really hoped you weren’t.”

“Why?” His boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?) said with such malice, the bench should be melting with all the acidity of it.

“Because Sakon Uchiha is who I was supposed to photograph for US Weekly!” Naruto shot back, “They wrote a whole article on how the Uchiha brothers started up in their parents’ footsteps, running the new Uchiha drug syndicate!”

Sasuke looked at him wordlessly, before saying, “They think we’re behind that?”

“Of course they do, it’s got your family’s fucking crest all over it!” Naruto rubbed his forehead, “Are you upset that your cover’s gone?  It’s too late, they already have a picture of you.”

The dark haired man went from shocked to murder in 0.025 seconds, his delicate features twisting into a rage that Naruto had never before seen on his face.  It wasn’t any sort of beautiful or cute at all; honestly, it was terrifying.  He couldn’t meet those piercing black eyes boring a firey hole into his skull.

“You _gave_ away the photo?!” Sasuke grabbed his shirt collar and shook him, rage making his thin fingers tremble, his mouth twisted down in desperation.

“He stole it from me!” Naruto shoved Sasuke back, “I was going to confront you first about it!  And if I found out you were really a druglord, I’d probably have given it to him anyway so someone would stop you!”

“I’m not a druglord, you stupid fucking ass!  When would I even have time to run that sort of operation?!” Sasuke laughed, on the hysterical side, “I go to school full time, I work a job, and the rest of my time I spend with you!  You’re one of my alibis, Naruto!”

Naruto could feel the knowledge sink in; like medicine, his nerves soothed and all of his anger washed out of him.  All of the betrayal, gone.

“So it’s not you...?” He breathed, the relief audible in his voice.

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, “Of course it’s not me.”

“Convince me,” Naruto begged, “Really.  Tell me everything you hid from me, please.”

Sasuke looked him in the eye, before sighing.  “After our parents died, Itachi and I were treated like shit, no matter that we were kids.  The paparazzi stalked our every move.  I saw a camera flash and I’d curl up in fear; I hated them.  And what they said about us didn’t even make sense.  They told us that we were the catalyst for our parents to turn to drugs.  They wrote article after article slandering us until I couldn’t even go to school without being afraid that somehow someone would be out there with a camera, watching me, waiting for me to prove that I was just as horrible as my parents.  I was ten; I was so scared all the time and I was powerless.  I was in a really fucking horrible place.”

Naruto reached out, his hand touching Sasuke’s arm lightly, his fingers laying warm on chilled skin.

Sasuke continued, “Itachi went to the government after that, to the witness protection program, and within two weeks of my parents’ deaths, my brother and I were in an orphanage in another country, with new names, a new language, and a new fake family.  For our safety, Itachi got us a legal document stating that we were not to be photographed under any circumstances without our explicit, documented, legal permission beforehand.”

Naruto nodded, “You did threaten to sue me a couple times.”

“I know I did.  You deserved it,” His boyfriend snorted, before returning back to his solemn storytelling, “Since then, it’s been a struggle for us both to remain under the radar.  Neither of us has ever wanted to be criminal overlords or whatever.  Even when I was mad with Itachi that he turned our parents in, I knew he did that to protect me.  My dad and my mom were neglectful at best under the influence, and literally gone the rest of the time.  I think he thought that if he turned them in, then they’d go to rehab and reform and be, you know, parents again.  He didn’t know they ran the whole fucking shebang, or the lengths they would go to avoid jail.”

“Thank you, for telling me all that.  I’m sorry, so fucking sorry, that you went through all that.  And I totally believe you, but...” Naruto shook his head, “I don’t know what evidence US Weekly had on you guys, but they were awfully convinced it was you two.  Whatever they knew...”

“That’s just it though, they don’t know! US Weekly is known for being full of shit!”  Sasuke quirked a frustrated eyebrow and crossed his legs, “How many times have Bradgelina broken up in the last year, according to US Weekly?”

“I have no clue,” Naruto admitted, “But a lot.  It’s in the headlines all the time.”

“That’s because US Weekly is a bullshit tabloid.  I don’t even know why Danzo hired you like this.  It’s not normal at all, this isn’t the stuff that US Weekly is known to publish anyway,” His boyfriend grimaced, “Many things are wrong with this picture.”

Naruto pulled at his hair, “I’m fucking stupid!  Why didn’t I notice he was fishy as hell?”

Sasuke shook his head, “Beating yourself isn’t going to solve anything.  If Danzo really does have a picture of me, the likelihood that I’ll be taken into holding immediately after publishing is high.  We need to come up with a plan.”

“A plan?” The blonde blinked, meet the black haired man’s eyes.

“A plan to clear my name.”

“Ah,” Naruto scratched his cheek, “Let me guess, we’re going to have to figure out who the real drug lord is.”

“Exactly.  Itachi and I are clearly innocent, so who is using our family name to run a drug empire?”

“Fuck if I know,” Naruto grimaced, “You were my closest lead.  Goes to show why I’m not a detective.”

“You’d suck at it,” Sasuke agreed.

“Hey!”

He shook his head, “We’re getting distracted.  You’re going to pay my bail, and then we’re going to find the bastard using my last name and symbol and we’re going to expose him to the police and the press.  We’re going to need photographic evidence to catch him, more than likely...”  Sasuke looked up into Naruto’s eyes, his black irises filled with enough determination that they looked like steel, “You ready?”

He was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fun piece of evidence that Naruto missed in his flashbacks:  
> "I was tricked," Sasuke confessed quietly, "when I was very young, that my name was really 'Sugar' by my older brother."   
> In Japanese, it would have been pretty simple for Itachi to trick Sasuke that his name, Sakon, was really Sa-kun, a cutsy nickname, and that his real name was Sato, or in English, Sugar. Well, it's a very very subtle play on words, I guess. Hidden tricky stuff I do as an author!
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter a bit better than the one before it.


	17. Qualified

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a lot of things have happened in the last couple of months, and writing fanfiction went from being my 3rd or 4th priority to being dead last. That doesn't excuse the fact that I left everyone waiting for so long or the fact that this chapter will be incredibly rushed and gross.
> 
> For anyone interested in hearing more about what happened, I will be explaining it all in the end notes. For now, enjoy.

One thing no one had prepared Naruto for was the fact that waking up after a night of emotional turmoil gave one the equivalent of an emotional hangover.  He felt wrecked, frizzled, spread out thin on too much toast.

He also had a killer headache.

Shoving Akamaru off of him, Naruto stumbled to his feet in his bedroom, his head spinning.  He had two mission directives; water and painkillers.  He picked his way through his mess of a room into the kitchen, and when his eyes alighted on Iruka, he began to remember how exactly his night had ended.

 _Sasuke,_ his head throbbed, like the name was a solution or a source of strength.

Once he'd returned home last night, Naruto had told Kiba and Iruka the details, crawled into Iruka's loving parental embrace, and couldn't remember how he'd even ended up in his bed besides, which was a good indicator that he'd actually fallen asleep on the couch.  Iruka or Kiba must've moved him to his bed at some point.

Now Iruka lay slumbering on his couch, who knew where Kiba was, Naruto had a headache strong enough to make him feel queasy, and Naruto's ex-boyfriend was probably in jail.

He grabbed a plastic cup emblazoned with a picture of a puppy with butterfly wings (it belonged to Kiba without a doubt) and filled it with tap water from the sink, uncaring that the tap had tasted nasty as hell for the past few weeks.  Pills were excavated from the bathroom cabinets and his headache ebbed as he swigged them down with the nasty tap water.  Naruto stumbled back into his room, shoved Akamaru off of the bed once more, and climbed back in.  He reached over the edge, sightlessly touching for his laptop, and once his fingers touched the familiar cold metal, he grabbed his computer off its designated location on his floor and got cozy.

Even though Sasuke had given him a brief rundown of what exactly could lie in store for the two of them, he still flipped open his laptop and googled Sasuke's names.  Naruto was curious about how far the damage had gone, and well, sue him for wanting to figure out the situation from all angles.

US Weekly broke the story first, but every reputable news corporation had quickly published less informative and less biased articles about Sasuke's subsequent arrest and his dual identity.  The internet told him fairly quickly that currently Sakon Uchiha was in police custody (and had been for seven hours already, so he'd been in custody for about as long as Naruto'd been asleep).  Danzo Shimura, head editor of US Weekly, had provided the police's detective department with ample evidence early yesterday evening, meaning as soon as he'd gathered the photo from Naruto's belongings, he'd driven it over to the station.  The time between then and Sasuke's arrest was spent evaluating the evidence, apparently.

Naruto found a live cast of the local news, and started to watch.

The head chief of police, his name simply listed as A. Raikage, commented to CNN news, "We'd long marked the Uchiha case as dead.  Our own detectives had made the connection between the family's symbol and the new spike in gang and drug related activity, but Shimura gave us a connection between the dead case and the new.  However, further investigations need to occur before charges can be pressed against any parties involved."

"Do you think that putting away Sakon Uchiha will actually help shut down the Uchiha's new crime syndicate?"  A reporter had asked during the first official press conference on the subject, held just an hour before Naruto had woken up.

"No.  A syndicate is like a hydra; even when you think you've cut off its head, the beast doesn't die.  Even if it must rest for ten years, eventually a new head will grow back.  Sakon Uchiha is far too young to be the true mastermind."

Naruto turned off the video, took a deep breath, and continued his search.  The arrest was apparently more for Sasuke's own protection than for evidence that he was guilty; the current theory stated by the police was that rather than being a single drug emperor at the very top of the situation, Sasuke could be more of a figurehead or a scapegoat for the real people in power, and that by keeping him protected and monitored, the police could make sure that he didn't get murdered to keep the secrets of the organization quiet before Sasuke could squeal to the authorities.  There was no evidence that Sasuke had participated in any of the crimes himself, and despite his arrest, the authorities were hesitant to trust Danzo's "connection" and were investigating further.

While Naruto did believe that Sasuke was telling the truth, it was the lack of evidence and the police's protective custody only that allowed Naruto to really rid himself of any remaining fear and doubt.

Like Sasuke had told him, he really did happen to be innocent.  Whatever Danzo knew, it wasn't enough.  He seemed to be completely without involvement with the Uchiha drug ring, despite actually being Sakon Uchiha, even in the eyes of the law.

Another article also mentioned that Itachi was taken in to the United States Embassy in Brazzaville, also held under protective custody.  While Naruto didn't like to think about it, he was probably going to be literally skinned by his ex's protective older brother later for this whole debacle, once he was allowed out of the embassy.

The US government had agreed to turn over to the investigation (eventually, because the government has no idea what punctual means) Itachi's legal agreements and documentation for the Witness Protection program that had changed both their names and had put them both in an orphanage in Japan.  Considering they had both been exposed to the press, they weren’t necessarily top secret anymore.  That way, the detectives could track the process of how Sakon and Jiroubo became legally gone, and in their place were Itachi and Sasuke.

With morbid curiosity and a nauseous feeling, Naruto stalked through all the more paparazzi, less trustworthy news that he could find on his ex-boyfriend.  And to both his disturbing appreciation (because it kept him updated) and his livid anger (because it wasn't  _right_ ), even though Sasuke had barely been outside since the news break more than ten minutes, he had already been absolutely stalked by the press.  Photos of him flooded the media; he was so good-looking that every tabloid was not only slandering his name, they were praising his appearance and clambering for insider info.  Reporters and paparazzi surrounded UCSB's residential campus like ants around an abandoned picnic, and extremely angry campus police officers were barely able to push them back from the buildings.

There was even news footage of Karin actually round-housing a reporter in the nose.  Naruto watched the 32 second clip on one of the residential student's YouTube channel and all of its iterations on vine, and just as the reporter grabbed her and dragged her out of her doorway to ask, "What was it like to live with a drug lord who drove his parents to suicide?" Karin, in a familiar blur of red and black, kicked the reporter right in the stomach to escape his grip and slammed the door on him.

That wasn't all.  Dozens of photos of Sasuke being escorted into a police car were a part of every news story, tasteless and grainy with horrible lighting afforded by the street lamps and flashlights blinding the camera's lens.  In almost all of them, Sasuke was wide-eyed and terrified, his whole body stiff and his mouth turned down into a bitter sneer--it was these sorts of disgusting pictures that had already begun to gather commentary on every social media site that Naruto could think of.

The worst thing though, was The Photo.  It was the cover of Us Weekly's article about him, and from there, it exploded.

Naruto's photography had literally gone viral.  His name, his art, plastered all over the internet with thousands of views, notes, tweets.  The amount of exposure he’d gotten was insane.  It was like every one of his dreams of becoming famous, of having an eye-catching photograph that would capture everyone’s eyes.

All at the expense of someone else's misery.

It was almost enough to make him throw up.  Naruto fought down the nausea, but it still felt so heavy, so twisted, that he’d been the one to snap The Photo.

His masterpiece.  The Photo.

It was all his fault.

...or rather, partially his fault.

A sudden flash of anger coursed through him as Naruto remembered that there truly was another person to blame, and blame him to hell and back he would.  Naruto slid his laptop aside, grabbing his phone and dialing the number, his enraged fingers tapping the digits so sloppily he had to start over twice.

A ring, and a click.

"Ah, Uzumaki, just the man I needed to talk to," Danzo said, his voice sounding just as oily and despicable over the phone as in person, "I have some unfortunate news for you."

"I quit," Naruto growled, trying to keep his voice down.  Iruka was still asleep, after all.  His hand clenched into a fist on his thigh, blankets bunching in his hand.

"Don't be absurd!  You can't quit if I already fired you.  That's the news, by the way.  You're fired.  It’s been brought to our attention that the photograph you provided for us violated the legal agreement that Jiroubo Uchiha had.  The brothers are demanding we take down our articles because of that simple little fact or else he'll sue, but we were clear; it was you who took the photograph and received payment for it.  It’s you that has disgraced the US Weekly name.  You're an embarrassment to magazines and photographers everywhere!  Your amateur mistake and substandard photography shamed us in front of the entire nation," Danzo sounded like he was seconds away from bursting out into maniacal villain laughter.  Naruto wanted to see his boss in person, just so he could punch his fucking lights out.

Instead, he said, "Fuck you, Danzo Shimura!  You used me!!  You knew that if you pinned that photograph entirely on me and just me, you could walk away from this without a lawsuit.  You've set up the situation so that if you fire me, you can use my fucking work without Sasuke being able to sue.  You got exactly what you wanted.  You wanted a picture of one of the brothers, and you fucking stole it right out of my portfolio!"

"Don't twist things around like that, Naruto," Danzo tsked, "I paid you quite well for that photograph, and I see you cashed the check.  Photography is a tough business, you know.  You always had the option to quit if you couldn't deliver, and perhaps you should have, since you clearly couldn't."

Naruto trembled with the force of his anger, blue eyes clouding over with rage, "You said the Uchihas were guilty of controlling the largest crime syndicate in the US!  That syndicate is the reason why drug related murders have begun to climb yet again.  You led me to believe that the Uchihas were killers by another name.  I didn't doubt you at all, even though we both know that it's bullshit you made up for shock value!  You knew that you could make money off of the both of us!  You stole the only photo of the love of my life that I even had, and you did that after you _lied_  to me!  This is  _all_  on you!!”

"The love of your life?" Danzo scoffed, "Don't make me laugh.  You suspected him too; you told me it was probably Sakon yourself."

"F-fuck you!" Naruto wiped at his eyes, his chest tight and squeezing his heart until it felt like it was going to burst.  He  _had_ , he knew he had, and that was the worst part.

"It's your own fault for not trusting Sakon Uchiha enough then," Danzo said dryly, "If you would turn your back on your beloved so easily, then there's no guarantee of your loyalty to us as a company or to anyone at all.  Seeing how untrustworthy you are, it just becomes more clear to me that we don't want you as our employee."

"Me neither!  I quit!" He hissed.

His ex-boss sighed, "Are you retarded?  I already told you, we've already let you go due to your embarrassingly unprofessional photography and your pathetic work ethic--"

"First off, you don't get to say retarded because it's fucking offensive!  And second, FUCK YOU, YOU ABLEIST PIG!   _GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE!!"_  Naruto screamed at the top of his lungs before he chucked his phone across the room, a sick feeling of satisfaction as it shattered against his wall and pieces flew beyond his carpet and skidded across his kitchen's linoleum floor.

Iruka poked his groggy head out from the door frame, whistled, and said, "Phones are quite expensive, kiddo."

Naruto rubbed his forehead, sweat slick on the back of his hand, a vindictive smile breaking out on his face, "I know, but that felt _amazing_."

* * *

Naruto gave Kiba and Iruka a brief update after lunch, which had been instant mac 'n' cheese from the pantry.  Kiba had been at Ino and Sakura's apartment in order to keep out of the craziness, but he'd come rushing back after seeing how anyone who knew anything had quickly figured out that Naruto and Sasuke had been dating, and their whole apartment had been dive-bombed in short order by news corporations.  Naruto had thanked him; Kiba didn't had to have thrown himself under the bus to protect him, but he did.

They had quickly decided that they would all wait until the paparazzi left the immediate area, and then sneak out through the kitchen window and drive to Sakura and Ino's place.  Iruka would go back to Sacramento and Naruto would lay low with Sakura until everyone lost interest in the drama.  Kiba, who was rather uninvolved, was going to move in with his coworker, Shino, for a while, and since both Shino’s and Sakura’s places were no pets allowed, Akamaru was going to stay at the shelter with Kurama.

It took the vast majority of a day for them all to resettle where they belonged, and once Naruto was safely tucked away in Ino and Sakura's abode, he felt a whole hell of a lot safer.  Sakura was actually freaking out about it all far more than he was.

“This is crazy!” She said, pacing back and forth with her nicely painted nails inching towards her lips.

Ino tutted, “Don’t chew, billboard brow.  I just painted those.”

Naruto took a deep breath and painted on a smile, “At least there’s no paparazzi crowding around here.”

“And there won’t be if I have any say about it!” Sakura picked up a nice throw pillow from the couch and squished it between her hands like a stress ball, “You’re on house arrest, Naruto!  You’re not allowed to leave and your car is stuck in the garage until further notice.  It’s bright orange!  Everyone with even two brain cells knows it’s yours!”

“Well not everyone,” Naruto protested.  “There’s got to be more than one orange sedan in Santa Barbara.”

“They can run your license plate!” Sakura threw the pillow to Ino, who caught it with an oomph.

“All this stress isn’t any good for you.  Think about your baby,” the blonde girl scolded.  “Take it easy, babe.”

Babe?  Naruto looked between the two roommates, before just ignoring any possibilities.  This was no time for speculation.  He was shit at that sort of thing anyways.

“Well, Sasuke promised he’d call when he gets released from custody,” Naruto sighed, “So it’s a waiting game until then.  I don’t even know what to say to him.”

“An apology might be in order,” Sakura snapped, finally slumping down onto the couch with him.  She leaned up against his legs, her faded pink hair draping on his knee.  “Do you still love him?  Did he ever love you?”

Naruto had yet to pick through the jumbled mess that was his emotions, and he glanced at the one girl in the room he had yet to trust with his life.  And right now, this was his life.  He had no clue what he could even say, and even if he wanted to have this conversation, he didn’t want Ino to be there for it.  He didn’t know her nearly well enough.

She picked up on that vibe, because before he could choke something unsatisfactory out of his mouth, Ino stood up, and announced “Okay, as much as I love gossip, I can tell when things are getting too much for me to eavesdrop in on.  I’m going to be heading out to work early, kay?”

Leaning over, Ino pressed a kiss to Sakura’s cheek, gentle and sweet, before waving and heading out the door, locking it behind her.

“What was that?” Naruto said, half avoiding Sakura’s last question and half actual curiosity.

Sakura groaned, “I’ll explain later.  Now you owe me some Sasuke talk.  Spill.  It’s mushy emotion time.”

He snorted, “Fuck me if I even know where to start.”

“Talk to me.  You handled this whole mess on your own without talking about it, and I get the feeling that is part of the reason it went so wrong.  If you’d come to me or Iruka… or even Sasuke, we might’ve been able to help you.  Naruto, we’re here for you.  You and your problems, they aren’t burdens to us.  We’re friends, right?”

“Sakura… yes.  Of course we’re friends.  I’m… I’m so sorry I went off on my own like that,” Naruto laughed, but it was more of a sob than anything else, “Fuck, I’ve been so scared and freaked ever since Danzo sent me off on this mystery novel level Uchiha drug lord bullshit.  I know I freaked out to you in the car about it, but you had your own stuff going on with money and your dad and medical stuff because of the baby and I just… I thought I couldn’t go to you for help.  You asked for help paying for the bills and I thought, I thought I just had to do this job.  I had to help you.  Even if I was scared.”

Sakura sat up straight, staring him in the eyes, “Oh god.  I’m so sorry.  I had no clue—I knew you thought it was dangerous but I… I didn’t think you would let my financial situation influence your decision if you really didn’t feel safe!  You shouldn’t’ve!  Naruto, you should’ve told me to fuck off, I—I’m so fucking sorry!”

“No, I’m just trying to blame you.  You might’ve put pressure on me to keep at it, but you also had no clue what it was like,” Naruto took a deep breath, “When I went looking into it further, one evening, I… I heard a man crying for help.  And this woman, I heard her shoot him.  I don’t know if he’s alright or if he’s dead, or what.  I just.  I was in shock, I think, I just went home and pretended like I didn’t hear anything.”

Sakura froze, her entire body still, her fingers digging into the skin of his knees.

“You heard someone get shot?” She repeated, her voice shrill.

“I know, I should’ve called the police or done anything else, but I just, fuck, I don’t know what I was thinking!  So when I thought it might be Sasuke that was the culprit, that Sasuke could be in charge… I fucking panicked.  I thought I was dating a _killer_ ,” Naruto’s voice hushed, his eyes squeezing shut, “and I went to Iruka but there were no good options, it was too fucking late.  I’m knee deep in love with him and that sort of shit doesn’t change as soon as you learn that they’re not a good person.”

“Do you still love him?” Sakura asked again, delicately.

“I don’t know,” He gulped, staring at Ino’s TV remote in lieu of any better targets to stare at.  “I guess I still do.  I was so scared of him, Sakura, but mostly I was scared of me.  I was scared of the fact that I still loved him.  I was scared of what he could convince me to do, knowing that.  It wasn’t clear back then why I was reacting the way I was, but… you know, thinking back you have 20/20 vision.”

“I can’t even begin to understand, Naruto, but… I’m listening, you know?” She whispered, her voice sounding a little choked.

“I know,” He replied.

“Are you going to be ready to see him again once they release him from holding?” Sakura asked, “I know you agreed to help him catch the real culprit…”

“I did.  He deserves justice, and the real mastermind behind all this… they deserve to get locked up forever,” Naruto took a deep breath.  “I can do it.  I can be around him.  He’s not guilty, I have to remind myself, I have to trust him…”

Before Sakura could get in a breath, he hurriedly admitted, “…But I was scared, Sakura, even before I learned that he was an Uchiha, I loved him but I didn’t trust him at all.  He didn’t know anything about how I grew up.  He didn't know I had social anxiety and panic attacks.  He didn't know I used to live on the streets and hurt people just to eat.  I held everything back from him, and I knew he had secrets too but I was too scared to ask.  I didn’t want to make our relationship healthy.  I just kept it full of lies because that was far easier than to talk to him about the truth.”

She took his hand in hers, tan skin against her pale palm and pink nails.

He squeezed her hand back, “If I’m going to try all this again, I’m.  I’m going to do this right.  I’m going to get back the man I love, Sakura, and I’m going to help him catch the criminal using his family name to hide their crimes.  I’m going to do all that.  I can’t let my fears hold me back anymore.”

* * *

Half way through the next day, Naruto belated remembered the whole kiss-on-cheek thing that Sakura had avoided explaining.  She snorted, before telling him that she and Ino were just “Gal Pals”.

“Are you sure?” Naruto asked.  “Because it sure looked like…”

“We’re just really good friends now, Naruto,” Sakura said, mischievous look in her green eyes.

* * *

It took about a week for things to settle down enough that Sasuke was allowed out of police custody.  He was still heavily advised to stay out of the limelight for obvious reasons, though.

Naruto had been expecting the call, ever since the paparazzi had decided his apartment was too boring to stalk without him there.  He’d been in the middle of helping Kiba clean up the place when his phone had rung, and off he got to drive, to spring his boyfriend from jail.

And he had to say, bailing Sasuke out of jail was one of the most awkward experiences of his life.  Especially because his name was plastered all over the US Weekly news article in question that had framed him as the leader of a crime syndicate.    
  
Just looking at the cover of the damn magazine still made him sick.  Not only did everyone now know the photo, everyone now knew his name too.  And it wasn’t just the guilt of it that sucked about that; there was also the fact that the job market after this would be horrible.  No reputable publisher would hire him and... well that was just what Danzo wanted, wasn't it?  Someone he could ruin without consequences and make absolute bank off of.  
  
Two someones he could ruin, Naruto thought, walking into the police station.  Naruto and Sasuke.  And one of them had been ruined far more than the other.  
  
It was surprisingly easy to get Sasuke turned over into his custody.  He was just instructed to keep a good watch on him and stay out of the public view for a bit.  Sasuke was not to remove his tracking anklet, placed there to monitor his vitals and keep an eye on his location.  Easy things, really.

It was hard to look him in the eye as two police officers led him out of a back room and into the lobby, where Naruto was waiting for him.

Sasuke didn't really start to cry in joy and leap into his arms or whatever he might've been expecting (or wanting?) but he didn't shrug him off when Naruto placed a hand on his arm, wondering if he needed comforting.  It didn't seem so.

The two of them made their way rather quietly outside, and then Sasuke just led the way out to Naruto's vehicle, bright orange and obvious as it was.  The raven haired man sat in the passenger's seat as if he owned it, and Naruto, well, he just trailed after, awkward and afraid of being too close or saying something wrong.  Even as he slid into the driver's seat, he felt as if he needed to apologize for just existing.  
  
"Where do you want to, uh, go?" Naruto asked.

The plan they’d figured out beforehand had been very succinct.  Bail out of jail, step one.  Step two, team up to kind the real drug lord.  Step three, profit.  Other facts, like where people would go or stay or whatever, that sort of thing hadn’t even been decided yet.  
  
"Your apartment, I guess," Sasuke sighed, "Mine is probably still a paparazzi hotspot, if the dorms let me back in at all."  
  
Naruto turned on the car, his fingers trembling.  It wasn't easy to calm his racing heart as he drove out of the parking lot and down the road towards his tiny apartment.  It was like having stakes stuck into his chest―each turn was a thunderclap in his stomach.  
  
"Are you sure you're okay...?" Naruto asked quietly, the silence more nerve-wracking than any conversation they could have.  
  
Sasuke drummed his fingers on his cheek, "I'm fine."  
  
That told Naruto nothing.  
  
"Can I be honest with you for a second?" He asked quietly.  
  
"So long as I don't have to promise to like it," Sasuke agreed.  
  
The blonde swallowed past the lump in his throat, "I'm still scared of you."  
  
"Nope, I didn't like it.  I was right," He replied, his dark eyes narrowing in on Naruto's, "Whatever frightening thing you've associated with me?  It's not part of me.  You were lied to."  
  
"I know that!" Naruto cursed, "But I never could trust you with my secrets before you were the son of crazy suicidal drug freaks.  And clearly you couldn't trust me with yours!  It’s so easy to be scared of you!  And maybe most of that is the social anxiety speaking, but let’s be honest here.  What sort of relationship did we even have?"  
  
"Clearly not a real one," Sasuke growled, his fingers still tapping out a pattern on his skin.  
  
It was somehow a strange relief to hear to that small horrible part of his subconscious.  It screamed in relief that all he had to do was just help Sasuke for this little bit and he could hide from his problems forever onwards.  He wouldn't have to face his ruined career, his failed relationship, the fact that his life was in shreds.  He could cower away from people until he stopped hearing a gunshot ringing in his ears.  
  
That was how cowards thought, Naruto realized, and he’d already promised to Sakura that he’d turn things around.  He wasn’t going to let it all end like this.  He was determined not to listen to that voice.  But he still didn't feel very brave at the moment.  
  
"It doesn’t have to stay that way," Naruto said aloud, ignoring how his voice wanted to wobble.  “We can fix this.”

“I’m not sure I want to try,” Sasuke snapped, his eyes wild, “Naruto, your optimism is the opposite of helpful right now.  You’re scared of me; you don’t get to tell me we can work this out!”

“That’s exactly why I can tell you it will!” Naruto insisted, his hands sweaty on the steering wheel from nervousness, “I want to try.  I’m scared of you and how everything could go wrong, but I kind of love you, so I want to keep trying!”

“…you what?”

“I said, I want to keep trying,” Naruto repeated.

“Before that,” Sasuke said, his eyes widening.

“I… oh.  Yeah.  Um,” he laughed sheepishly, “I kind of love you.  Yeah.”

Sasuke’s mouth slid open, gaping a bit.  Naruto wanted to say something more, really explain his feelings like he did with Sakura before, but he didn’t want to say anything more either.  Fear seized his throat and kept him from really processing what he’d just admitted.

It was then that he turned into his apartment, parked in front, and sat in his car, somewhat frozen, unable to really process how he had somehow had his entire life rearranged in less than a couple months, leading up to his very confession.  
  
Everything felt heavy.  
  
The heaviness didn't go away when Sasuke and he actually got out of his car and walked up to his tiny apartment.  Kiba poked his head out, "Get that criminal inside before the press gets any more sniffs of him.  I bet you have paparazzi on your tail already."  
  
Sasuke reacted by immediately flipping him the bird as he walked inside, as if he owned the place.  And Naruto watched, standing back a bit.  He still couldn’t believe he’d actually said it.  And Sasuke had, had… hadn’t replied at all.  
  
He waited a heartbeat, to let his chaotic emotions settle, before following them inside.  He didn’t have time to focus on that response.  After all, Naruto’d planted the seeds of this disaster and cultivated it all summer―now it was his turn to pull up all of the weeds.  


* * *

Kiba made lunch.  
  
The apartment now housed three people, and Naruto was sitting in the kitchen with Kiba, so there was even more space left open.  Still the place felt much too small.  
  
"Potato salad?" Kiba offered dryly to their guest, "Ham sandwich?  Grapes?  A big steaming pike of nothing?"  
  
Sasuke looked at the lunch items as if they were poisonous, but he didn't say anything.  Nor did he join them to eat, sitting off in the living room on the couch under several layers of blankets.  Only his head poked out, and his phone kept buzzing in his hand.  Occasionally Sasuke answered it listlessly, his dark eyes dull and his mouth turned down into a severe sort of pout that, if it weren't so angry looking, would be kind of funny.  
  
Sasuke had spent most of the morning on the phone with his brother.  Apparently Itachi was planning on suing him, and Sasuke was doing his best to talk him out of it.  
  
Charming.  
  
Poking his fork around instead of eating the store-bought potato salad, Naruto mumbled, "I've been to cheerier morgues than this."  
  
“Me too,” Kiba sighed, “I’ve had to put down dogs in cheerier situations.”  
  
Sasuke didn't even respond, even though he was obviously within hearing distance.  
  
Naruto stared at him, before asking, “Do you think he’s avoiding us because of what I said this morning?”

“No clue.  I wouldn’t want to talk if I were him anyway though,” Kiba said, ever the fount of wisdom.

Sasuke stood up and shot the both of them a death glare, "Stop talking about me like I'm not here."  
  
He stomped into Naruto's bathroom, blankets going with him, and locked the door behind him.  
  
"Now look at what you've done!" Naruto hissed, "Ugh!"  
  
Kiba looked as if he'd much rather be dealing with rabid dogs.  
  
“Your fault too,” Kiba pointed out.

Naruto rubbed his forehead, “Fuck.  I have no idea how to talk to him right now and every time I try, it comes out wrong.  I want to be supportive but…”

“I think it’d be tough for anyone.  Plus, you’re a bit of a social mess on a good day.”  Kiba slapped him on the shoulder.  “Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to go talk to him, though.”

Naruto knew Kiba was right, but his head protested.  What would he even say?  Well, it didn’t matter, as long as he proved he was there.  Naruto stood up from the kitchen and walked over to the hallway, before he sat down on the opposite side of the bathroom door and waited.  He pretended he couldn’t hear Sasuke’s shaking breaths and his nearly silent, hiccupping sobs.

“I’m here,” He promised.  “We’ll fix this.”

* * *

Dinner was just about as awkward as lunch, so afterward Naruto dragged Sasuke out for a walk.  With them both in hoodies, they managed to make it out to a fairly secluded section of street, right on the edge of town and on the top of a cliff, overlooking the ocean.

“What are you thinking about?” Naruto asked, nervous.  
  
Sasuke shoved his hands in his pockets, "Well, mostly about the future.  My life is going to be a media nightmare until either the hype dies down or we find the real boss of the Uchiha drug syndicate."  
  
"We?" Naruto asked, taking in a shaky breath. “It’s still a we?”  
  
"Yes, we," The black haired man leaned back against a telephone pole and sighed, "I didn't just use you to bail me out of jail.  I told you before, I'll need your help, if you really are intent on helping clear my name."  
  
"Why would you even want to be around me at all?  It's basically my fault this shit happened," Naruto asked, his heart pounding, "I took that photo, I investigated all those leads and reported back to Danzo about it, I fucked up everything!"  
  
"You unintentionally fucking up my entire life didn't suddenly make it so I wasn't in love with you," Sasuke said, quiet and under his breath like a prayer into the muggy night air.  
  
Naruto felt a little bit of him shatter from the guilt, suddenly almost too strong for him to breathe.  He choked, "You love me too?"  
  
Sasuke covered his face with his palm, avoiding Naruto's eyes determinedly.  He shrugged, "I guess... Is there a better way to phrase it than that?  It’s how you said it."  
  
"I always thought it was too soon for you to feel that way, that at best you liked me some, but..." The blond groaned, " Why didn’t you say something earlier, when I told you?  What the fuck, why are you so confusing?"

“I'm not confusing, dickmuncher," Sasuke kicked at him half-heartedly.  "Your problem is that you assume shit about people without enough proof, like they hate you or whatever.  Or that they're somehow living a double life as a drug lord.  I make my point."  
  
"You're going to milk that for the rest of my life, aren't you?" Naruto rubbed his forehead.  
  
"Would you have let it go?" Sasuke smirked; it was a good look on him, that headstrong confidence.  
  
"Blackmail material for centuries," He bemoaned, leaning back against the same pole as Sasuke.  
  
"Exactly," Sasuke rolled his shoulders back languidly, looking up at the grey sky with his narrow dark eyes.  "I made out with your face a lot.  No offense but how'd you get the fucking stupid impression I wasn't that into you?"  
  
_Because I'm not worth you,_ Naruto thought, _I came into your life and ruined it.  I'm a breathing train wreck.  Because when I told you, you stayed silent all day long only to dump it on me more than 12 hours later._  
  
"I always thought I was the one head over heels for you and you just kinda went along with it, that you liked me but, that the whole love thing was always just me being hasty, you know, because it all seemed really one-sided," Naruto glanced at Sasuke out of the corner of his eye.  
  
Sasuke rolled his eyes, and made a circular motion with his hands, "See this?  It's my personal space bubble.  Where are you?"  
  
"...inside your bubble?" He answered, wondering where this was going.  
  
"Exactly, dumbass," Sasuke put his hand on Naruto's forearm, "I allow you to be so close to me because even though my heart races and you terrify me sometimes, I want you right there.  By my side."  
  
Naruto reached out, and grabbed Sasuke's pale fingers, trapping them between his own, his voice stuck in his throat.  The touch was terrifying―but also exhilarating.  
  
"I’ve been thinking about it since this morning.  I had never put a name to it before now.  I thought you were crazy, saying something like that.  I’ve never felt anything for anyone before, you know,” Sasuke admitted, his deep voice somber in the night air, “But once you said it, it just clicked that I felt the same.  Or else, I’d never react like I do with you.”

“Ever since I first saw you, I knew that you wanted me.  It was addicting to be wanted for nothing but breathing.  Just existing.  You wanted to capture Sasuke on film and you had no care at all for Sakon.  You had no idea I was ever anyone else," Sasuke said, his voice steady, "I guess, I saw myself how you saw me for the first time in your photograph.  For once I actually could see myself as a person and not a broken reflection of who I could no longer be.  I was suddenly in that moment able to redefine myself as an entirely new entity.  You enabled that for me, and that's why I knew this wasn’t just a like, that these feelings were more than that.  I knew I returned your feelings.  That's how I could forgive you at all for this."  
  
Naruto exhaled slowly, his breath shaking, still as if even the air from his lungs might ruin the moment and make Sasuke take his words back.  
  
"R-really?  ...you mean it?" Naruto breathed, pulling their combined fingers up to his mouth.  
  
Sasuke looked him dead in the eye and said, "I'm not a liar."  
  
The kiss he pressed to Sasuke's knuckles was just barely a brush of lips, but it was enough to cause Sasuke to relax his stiff shoulders.  
  
"I thought I loved you too, before," Naruto admitted, "I think I can’t stop being scared of you because of that.  You can hurt me so badly.  And I would let you.”

“If you really do love me,” Sasuke demanded, “Then trust me enough to know that I would never want to.”

“I don’t know if I can trust you yet,” Naruto replied, ashamed, “There were far too many secrets between us.”  
  
"I know," Sasuke pulled his hand back to his side.  "At some point, you’ll know what I know.  Now, let’s get going.  We have a lot of work to do tomorrow."  
  


* * *

And work did start, bright and early the next morning.  It couldn't have been later than 7:30 AM when Naruto was dragged out of his bed and into the living room, greeted with a cup of coffee and a far too awake Sasuke, holding up a familiar photo album.

"Where did you get that?"

"Same place that the shelter got your fox," Sasuke said, giving a slumbering Kurama something of a dirty look, "That fox likes me much better now that Madara is dead, coincidentally.  It doesn't really matter where I got it, does it?"

"I guess technically you and Itachi own the place," Naruto conceded, "Also Kurama is a delight, so leave him alone.  He needs his beauty rest."

"Clearly," Sasuke said dryly, before clearing space on the coffee table to lay out an absolutely massive number of papers all matching names to faces.  He even had the pushpins and string, just like out of a crime movie.

"Sasuke, you do remember that we're not detectives, right?" Naruto reminded him.  
  
Sasuke spread out Madara's photo album, flipping open to the pictures labeled, 'family reunion', "Luckily for us, we don't have to be.  I agree with Danzo; the true leader of the drug ring has to be part of my family.  I doubt anyone else would be so eager to use my family's―the Uchiha family crest so shamelessly."  
  
"I mean," Naruto furrowed his brow, "Are you sure?  You're the one who gave me this whole lecture on how we need to trust people."  
  
"This is different.  These people leeched off my parents' wealth at best and were their cohorts in crime at worst.  Some of them are still in jail after the bust," Sasuke pointed at a face in the photo, "See him?  Sentenced to ten years minimum on the charges of the sale, distribution, and use of controlled substances and for being an accomplice in murder, bribery, and rape."  
  
Naruto grimaced, "Nice family you've got here, Sasuke."  
  
Sasuke smirked, "The best part is that Itachi and I literally own all of their assets now."  
  
"So you're rich?" Naruto joked.  Even though he still had this edge of fear, it was starting to become easier to joke with Sasuke like he had before.  After all, he had been forgiven, and more than that, he was _loved_.  There was something to that which made him far more hopeful than fearful.  
  
"Why, you have a thing for rich boys?" Sasuke waggled his eyebrows, "I'll have you know that we're fucking loaded."  
  
"Feel like paying for my rent?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Brutal!"  
  
"Give me the dry erase marker already, you," Sasuke rolled his eyes, "I'm going to cross off all the people in this photo who are dead.  Then all of those in jail.  It's highly unlikely that any of them is actually running the syndicate."  
  
"Being a crime boss from beyond the grave..." Naruto whispered under his breath, "Drug lords are frightening."  
  
His boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?) (Were you still broken up if you and your boyfriend both confessed your love for each other the day before??) gave him such an unamused face that he closed his mouth and started humming instead.  But as Sasuke began to mark off faces one by one, Naruto noticed how his hand was shaking.  
  
At first he didn't say anything, but the silence stretched on for minutes with the squeak of the marker the only sound he could hear.  Sasuke didn't cease his tiny tremors and Naruto knew he needed to say something.  Sasuke was hurting; his boyfriend was nothing but a messed up pile of emotions, and Naruto knew it fell to him to untangle them.  He owed him that much at least.  
  
"Hey, Sasuke..."  
  
"I need to do this," Sasuke stated, his eyes burning.  "It's been ten years, I don't care about them anymore."  
  
"But you do," Naruto whispered, "You really do.  You'd never hate them this much otherwise."  
  
"They did nothing to help us after our parents killed themselves; they crawled off into hiding or refused to help us because we'd betrayed the family.  They're all dead to me anyway!"  Sasuke threw the pen across the room, his anger fading from his shoulders as all his aggression suddenly left him.  "I thought they loved us... I thought we were family."  
  
"Family doesn't mean much unless you make it mean something.  Sasuke," Naruto got up and retrieved the pen, holding it gingerly in his palm, "those people weren't your family.  Your family is your brother, and Karin, and Juugo and Suigetsu, who'll fight on your side, always.  These people?  You owe them nothing."  
  
Sasuke took the pen back, his hand steady, "Moron.  I know that."  
  
The rest of the faces were crossed off, leaving them with only a few options.  Naruto only recognized one of them, from the photo he'd seen of Sasuke and Itachi when they were young.  
  
"Isn't he your uncle?" Naruto pointed.  
  
Sasuke nodded, "He vanished off the face of the earth after my parents died.  He worked with my dad a lot―Obito Uchiha."  
  
"I saw him in one of Danzo's photos, the one of you, him, and Itachi."  
  
Sasuke paused, "Danzo had a photo of me?"  
  
"Yeah, just one, of you when you were like 10," Naruto shrugged, "Before your parents died."  
  
"We found all of those photos and burned them... How did he get a copy?" Sasuke narrowed his eyes, "Your boss is fishier than we previously imagined.  The only other copy of that photo would've belonged to Obito.  Which means Danzo knows my uncle."  
  
"Your invisible, gone-into-hiding uncle?"  Naruto raised an eyebrow, "You mean your uncle was in on the plot to ruin you?  He knew where you were all along?  Danzo knew where you were, Sasuke.  He said you lived in Santa Barbara, and you do."  
  
The cogs were clicking together in Sasuke's brain, and it was oh so clear that something, probably something very important, had been discovered.  The next time Sasuke spoke, his voice was soft and deep, and held the cadence of something who had discovered the way out of a maze, "It was the house."  
  
Naruto waited for more explanation.  
  
"That old fart Madara's house.  The one you snooped in, the guy who owned the fox?  Him.  He was too old and too angry to change his legal documents.  His will said that his things went to my parents.  When the government found them dead, he'd have checked their legal next of kin.  Which would have been Obito, because we had been too young when they wrote their will, and he was our legal guardian.  They'd have contacted him."  
  
"They would have?"  
  
"They would have tried.  And maybe they did succeed," Sasuke shook his head, "But it shouldn't have mattered because the government got us the house anyway."  
  
"Not that you're ever there!" Naruto shook his head, "The dust was this thick!"  He indicated the thickness with his fingers.  
  
"We were afraid that if we went, someone would find us.  There are people out there who were imprisoned because of Itachi, people who don't want to shoot cover shots of us for the tabloids but would rather shoot us until we bleed out."  
  
Naruto felt sick, his entire torso seizing up as he tried not to panic.  Shot.  Shot like the man in the alley, shot like the man Naruto swore that died on his watch and he did _nothing_.  
  
"I noticed," Sasuke said quietly, "You always go pale now when guns are mentioned."  
  
"When... when I went looking for evidence that you were Sakon Uchiha, I went to Suigetsu's work," Naruto confessed, "And I heard someone get shot in the alleyway back behind those storage buildings...  And I drove back and I was too terrified to even call the police."  
  
Sasuke laughed, dry and brittle, "We're so fucked up!  Literally a week ago, my class schedule was the most stressful thing I was worried about!  Now you've witnessed a murder and the culprit is probably my missing uncle!"  
  
Naruto laid down on the floor, staring up at the ceiling, "Do you think I did the wrong thing?"  
  
"What, the murder thing?  You were freaking out, there was no way anyone would've expected you to handle that right.  Or did you mean by working for US Weekly?" Sasuke asked.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"No."  
  
"No?"  
  
"No.  You said he stole your photo from you.  You didn't know he was going to do that.  It's not gonna look good that you cashed that check though," Sasuke shrugged, leaning back, "Government's not gonna believe that photo is stolen property when you accepted his payment for it."  
  
"Sakura needed it," Naruto swallowed the lump in his throat.  
  
"But I'm not gonna sue you.   I could but I mean, there's no point," He rolled his eyes, "So the only thing you have to worry about is not talking to me about all this shit sooner."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"I already told you, Naruto.  I forgive you," Sasuke looked down at him, the sunlight catching the raven's wing of his hair.

Naruto took a deep breath, and admitted, “I don’t think we’re qualified to do this detective thing.”

Sasuke snorted, “Me neither.  Our only lead is my crazy uncle who went off the grid over ten years ago and the fact that Danzo Shimura is somehow involved.  We’re basically fucked.”

“Are we fucked together?” Naruto asked, almost wincing at how cheesy he sounded even to himself.

Sasuke pinched him on the thigh, “Yes, dumbass.  We’re doomed together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone interested in what happened over the past few months; here is a short run-down:
> 
> I shattered my hard-drive. This happened in the middle of all the stuff happening below, but I feel like it needs to be said that whatever work I had originally done on this chapter was lost, and it was damn near the death toll for this fic, forever, until I realized I had some material still saved on my phone. This however is just a convenient excuse, because what really happened was...
> 
> Well, I lost interest in Naruto and in writing because of this fic. I know that taking and accepting criticism is a fundamental part of publishing works online, and I was handling it the best I could, but I have always had extremely low self-worth. When I started writing this, I was still in high school, and I had no idea what it would be like double-majoring, barely sleeping, working a job on my college campus while going to school and barely passing my classes with anything higher than a B. With all the external pressure of other things I valued more than writing this, and the internal pressure I generated myself due to my own low self-esteem, I just lost interest in this fandom and this fic altogether. I can't promise even now that it is back, but summer has begun and the break from classes will hopefully lend me enough time to finish this up in a couple quick chapters.
> 
> I started participating in a different fandom because I really wanted to enjoy writing and drawing for my ships and being an active part of producing some kind of fandom content. The response to this fic despite its hiatus was... well, I would have left this entirely if not for the positive comments that have encouraged me to keep going. So thank you for sticking around, and I hope I can once again be an active part of creating fandom content.


End file.
